A Promise to Be Better
by Raven Dancer
Summary: After returning to the Death Eaters Snape begins to crack. It's up to Dumbledore to keep him together through the turmoil. COMPLETED.
1. A Promise to be Better 1

A Promise to be Better 1

Author: Raven Dancer

disclaimer: All characters belong to J.K. Rowling except for the Drs. Barnes and Beryl. I receive no monetary compensation for these works.

Summary: After returning to the Death Eaters Snape's behavior worsens in class and Dumbledore must help him deal with growing anger.

It was, by all accounts, the worst argument he'd ever had with the Headmaster. Both had lost their temper. Both had yelled, screamed, threatened. Snape was ashamed. He'd never lost it so totally with his mentor.

In the end Snape had backed down. He'd had no choice; either he make some drastic changes in his discipline policy with all students or he leave. Period. In addition, he would treat all students with equal respect. No cruel put-downs. Students that were behind or failing would receive support in the class and tutoring in a stress-free environment.

"That leaves out the dungeons," Snape grumbled. He sat, shoulders hunched as though all the will had been beaten out of him. Exhausted with the struggle. Dumbledore loomed over him keeping as professionally stern a demeanor as he could. He hated to treat Snape like this, but with the stress of returning to the death eaters that summer had caused the man to become absolutely tyrannical. Within the first week over a dozen students had been in the hospital wing nervous wrecks.

Finally the Headmaster broke, stepping behind Snape he placed his hands gently on shoulders too tense to soothe, but he tried, running a gentle warmth through his taut frame.

"Severus, it's not like I'm asking for you to do this all yourself. Let me sit with you and plan out some new tactics. You can even practice on me, if you like," he worked on calming Snape.

"Can I do a before and after? I so want to do a before on you," the Potions Master groused. Dumbledore chuckled.

"No, sorry. No reinforcing bad behavior," he upped the flow of warm energy and began to knead in earnest. After a moment he felt the younger man relax a bit, muscles beginning to unclench as he worked over the back.

"I think some tea and those little sandwiches the house elves so enjoy making would do nicely just about now," he spoke gently. Snape only grunted as he leaned slightly into the rub. It had been an excruciating month. The students were just the icing on an already large, seven-layer cake.

The Headmaster continued working until Snape was nearly limp, letting him lean back into the cushion. He pushed hair from eyes.

"Maybe a trim?" he smiled.

"You're pushing it, Dumbledore," Snape snarled; but the anger was gone and the tone was nearly playful.

"Manicure? Facial?" the older man moved to the bell and rang it quickly. The only response from Snape was a snort. Beryl appeared and listened with a growing smile to the Headmaster.

"Very goods sir! Little sandwiches and tea. Does the Headmaster be wanting some sweets with that?" the elf was nearly dancing in place. At times Beryl made Dobby seem sedate.

"Well, yes, that would be nice. Something lemony, perhaps?" he agreed amicably. The elf hurried out.

Keeping the Potions Master relaxed for the better part of an hour was relatively simple. Plied with tea (laced with brandy) and sandwiches, the stressful part of the ordeal was over. Neither liked arguing, especially Snape when he knew he was wrong and Dumbledore wouldn't give him a graceful way out.

The Headmaster was very generous with the fortification in Snape's tea. Snape never got roaring drunk, but became quiet and sleepy. Whether he was happy or melancholy depended on circumstance. Tonight he was subdued but at least not depressed. As he began to nod, Dumbledore stretched him out on the couch with a warm cover and pillow. A slight transfiguring charm and the somnolent man was comfortably tucked in for the night.

Monday morning, armed with the warmth of Dumbledore's energy and his own personal misgivings, Snape attempted to teach potions without his normal angry reactions. The students were very confused, starting with a group of first year Hufflepuffs and Slytherins he'd nearly destroyed the week before. Fortunately, they only had only had one exposure to him and by the end of the period most weren't shaking anymore.

Next was the other first year group, Gryffindor and Ravenclaws. This also went well once the initial fear had been overcome. Snape supposed it might be better teaching without having the entire class dissolve into tears. At least the potions wouldn't get watered down.

Each class became a little more difficult. Of course, Tuesday afternoon's 5th year class just about broke him. He'd been the worst to Longbottom and Potter. He didn't expect any great change, but gods, there must be a way to get through without devolving into chaos. Any perception of him easing up caused the students to take advantage, passing notes, daydreaming, tormenting one another. He sat at his desk sipping a potion for a headache that had been growing for days, staring at the back wall.

Play to the strengths of the class, Dumbledore had said. Concentrate on the most positive aspects. Well, the definite strength was Granger. She was brilliant. It was easy today to give points to her for correctly saving Longbottom's near failure. (Poor kid had shook from head to toe when Snape tried to work with him.) He actually preferred rewarding good performances (once he put aside the fact she was a Gryffindor!)

What if he solicited Granger's assistance. Help Longbottom calm down and try to get the potions correct. He would in turn have to give her something. Not points. Think.

Ah, simple. Tutoring. Maybe she'd like some advanced work in potions? If he appealed to her curiosity it might just work. Hell, he had to tutor Longbottom, that was a given. Might as well bring her in at the same time and work on something more interesting.

Looking about the classroom he decided he should post his discipline. Dumbledore had suggested it and now, after struggling two days, it seemed like a good idea. Shuffling for a clean parchment, he listed:

Late homework: -10 (1 class period late)

-20 (2 class periods late)

detention (3 class periods late)

Disrespect: -5 points

Homework turned in on time: +2 points

Correctly Craft Potion in class: +2 points per team

Well, it seemed rather silly, now didn't it? He sneered at the parchment, hoping it would disintegrate. It didn't. With a groan he flung it towards the wall where it stuck under a variety of announcements and assignments. He peered at the notice for nearly 10 minutes before he stood and left for his rooms. And for a cooling pack for his headache.

One little sign made a great deal of difference the very next day. Third year students noticed it immediately. They knew through hard experience Snape would penalize students constantly. But here, in writing, were the actual penalties and rewards. Rewards? Snape was not known for giving out many points except to his own house. It was a struggle, but most students managed to listen and brew the potion of the day. Nearly everyone !had been successful, the exceptions the couple students who had dozed off. No points off for that. It was very confusing to the students.

After class most of the class raced to lunch, checking out the house points. Both Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff were up modestly. One bold student tapped softly on the Ravenclaw glass and requested the last 20 points added. All from Snape. He hadn't lied.

Word spread quickly. Snape was still tough, but he was handing out points for good work. The rest of Wednesday went well for both Snape and his classes.

Thursday was a repeat of Tuesday. Except Snape sent a note to Hermione Granger to meet him 15 minutes prior to class. She came, full of trepidation, but curious none the less. He managed to ask civilly for her help with Longbottom. He was even surprised she was pleased with the offer of advanced lessons. He rubbed at his temples as he directed her to a cauldron near the front.

"Are you feeling all right, Professor Snape?" Granger asked, still feeling bold. He muttered something about a slight headache and went to the board, putting up notes for the afternoon's preparations.

Although Longbottom was still gun-shy, the lesson went well. Snape had even made sure everyone would be successful in preparing the cold potion (good for sprains, keeping food cold). After the last student left Snape sank into his chair. Being fair wasn't so bad. Having to control his temper was the difficult part. It was so much easier just to snap and yell at the students than trying to make things more understandable.

Leaning against his desk he began to rub his neck. Nothing was easing his headache. He felt a movement behind him, hands running against his back as warmth began to sink into the tight muscles. He nearly jumped out of his chair.

"Tired, Severus?" a mellow voice in his ear.

"Oh, not now," he grumbled, heart beating loudly. Dumbledore continued to soothe his back.

"Tight," he commented.

"Headache. Just can't seem to shake it," Snape confessed.

"Well, it's been a rough week. Change is difficult," the older man allowed.

"Mmmmhm," the younger man allowed as one particularly tight shoulder muscle began to loosen.

"Severus, come up to the office. We need to talk a bit and I can work on that knot in your shoulder," Dumbledore offered. He was rather surprised Snape offered no resistance. Normally he had to convince Snape to join him. But the wizard was exhausted, Dumbledore could tell by the way his body seemed to drag along. Together they walked through the halls and up several flights of stairs.

Snape wandered over to the lounge, sitting resolutely awaiting his lecture. At least he'd be comfortable. Dumbledore noted the rigid stance and ordered up some light refreshment. Snape waved off the scotch and brandy.

"A little tea, then, Severus. You're very stiff," the Headmaster observed.

"Headache, a slight headache," Snape retorted. "I've had it for days. Poppy said it was stress," he snorted mirthlessly. Dumbledore moved behind him, ignoring the flinch as he put a hand on his head and neck.

"Let me have a look, maybe I can loosen you up," he offered.

"I don't recall having any muscles up there," Snape said haughtily. It caused the older man to laugh. Stifling it quickly, he cleared his throat and then began to gently probe around looking for any apparent cause.

"You've not been sleeping well lately, have you?" Dumbledore muttered as he moved his energy and musings through Snape's head. He was fishing for some hex that could be responsible for the headache. The exhaustion was very apparent.

"Dreams, insomnia," he admitted grudgingly. He felt the warmth fill him. He sighed, slipping back against the cushions.

Not liking what he was finding, a dark patch that wouldn't budge, Dumbledore opted to push Snape over into sleep. Then he went to the computer to send a message to Jeffrey Barnes, the local healer in Hogsmeade. He wanted a professional opinion.

Snape slept deeply for over an hour. He was still down, having been comforted through a nightmare that tried to take hold, when Dr. Barnes slipped into the Headmaster's office. He hung his cloak, listening carefully to the details of the 'headache'.

"I'd best have a look," he agreed, after asking a few clarifying questions. He pulled a chair close to the sleeping man and gently began to insinuate himself into Snape's systems.

Dumbledore sat nearby watching the exam. He was bothered by the little he'd read. The healer moved slowly, lingering in spots, then brushed his hands down the long lines of Snape's body. Grunting, he sat back and simply watched the sleeping man breathe.

"Well?" the Headmaster prompted. Barnes looked over and smiled sheepishly.

"Oops, got lost in my thoughts," he said. He placed a hand on Snape's forehead and whispered a charm before he turned his attention to Dumbledore.

"A couple hexes; probably have been there awhile. There's more, but I'd like to move him to the bed to fully scan him," the healer said. The headmaster nodded, moving towards the bedroom. He left the door open while he pulled the covers back. Turning, he watched Barnes strip Snape down to his leggings. He grinned, knowing how confused the wizard would be when he woke up.

"You'll need to help me, Headmaster. Have your wand ready to terminate the curse," Barnes directed. Dumbledore complied, moving into position. Snape was lowered to the bed and the healer began his probe. Soon a thin, gray mist rose from the prone man's body, swirling malevolently above. It was quickly dispatched.

Barnes rescanned his patient's head, tugging a second hex out and leaving it for Dumbledore to terminate. Moving down he stopped at the abdomen, frowning.

"When did he eat last?" he asked, gently prodded the midriff.

"I saw him at breakfast, but I don't recall any food, just tea," Dumbledore thought a moment longer. "I can't swear I've seen him actually eat lately."

"I can vouch for that, his stomach and track is empty. And here comes the reason," Barnes deftly ejected another hex for the Headmaster's disposal.

"I swear," he ran hands over the still figure, "I should just come over twice a week and scan him. Never saw anyone get hexed as often as he is," the healer levitated Snape up and moved over to the lounge near the window. He sat down first then lowered the body into his lap.

"I'm just going to work on some energy deficiencies. Why don't you get some food up here so we can feed him?"

"You think he's going to let us feed him?" Dumbledore smirked at the idea, but the healer did not crack a smile.

"I'll feed him," he said flatly.

Duly chastised, Dumbledore went out and called Dobby, arranging for a hot meal. He returned to the bedroom to watch Barnes perform his magic. It was fascinating to watch as the rigid body slowly relaxed and went limp. Barnes finally smiled.

"Oh, yes, we're going to be such good friends when all this is over," he ran soothing hands over the length of Snape's back encouraging him to curl snugly against him.

"I've always thought you healers have a nasty sense of humor," Dumbledore commented as Dobby came in bearing a tray of stewed chicken and gravy with diced carrots and peas wrapped in a brown crust.

"Hand pies with extra gravy. Peaches and iced juice," Dobby dutifully reported. The rich scent filled the air. They set the table near Barnes hoping the aroma alone would wake the Potions Master, watching as he twitched in his sleep.

"I'm not the only one with a nasty streak," Barnes grinned at Dumbledore. The Headmaster snorted. But he stayed quiet as Snape slowly began to surface.

Something smelled good. Very good. Snape stretched, slowly smelling the fragrant air. He was warm, the bed seemed a bit lumpy but comfortable none the less. Moaning happily he cuddled down into the warmth. A snort of laughter clued him in that he was not alone.

Plus, the mattress moved. That was a big tip-off. He stilled and listened very carefully, but there was no apparent noises, just the sound of a heartbeat and lungs expanding and contracting. It wasn't Albus; he had that beat memorized through long years of healing. Barnes. It had to be the healer.

"Hullo, Barnes. I suppose I've been ill?" he growled softly. Hands cuddled him, sending warmth.

"Close, you were carrying a few spare hexes that I disposed of with the Headmaster's help," the healer reported.

"That was Albus's laugh, then?" he continued not too suspiciously.

"Oh, yes, it was," Dumbledore happily identified himself. They watched as the Potions Master sighed.

"Well, I do feel better," he allowed, finally opening his eyes. "I just want to know how you two manage to get me to curl up like this," he groused, eyes focusing on Dumbledore.

"Trade secret," replied Barnes, sending a stream of energy into Snape keeping him tractable. He motioned to his cohort in crime to slide the food close and picked up the fork.

Dumbledore waited for Snape's refusal. He was very surprised when the Healer got several bites in before the wizard was even aware he was being fed. By then hunger had become the overwhelming drive and Snape didn't complain, taking forkful after forkful into his woefully empty stomach. After a long drink of juice he managed to glare at the doctor.

"You're bloody well enjoying this, aren't you Barnes," he accused as withering as he could. The Healer chuckled and offered another bite. Snape accepted, leaning as he chewed.

"Of course I'm enjoying this. I always enjoy seeing a patient on the mend. Getting to tease the cranky old Potions Master of Hogwarts is an added bonus," he kept an tight arm over his charge and brought in another fork of fruit.

Dumbledore was impressed; Barnes was certainly able to keep Snape in line. He supposed Snape had been under other healers' care and trusted Barnes. Although he'd been around for most of Snape's worst injuries and illnesses. Barnes was a rather recent addition to his arsenal: a competent and fully functioning magical healer. There were few in the wizarding world to begin with and Hogsmeade boasted two, Jeffrey and his father, James, Barnes.

With the problems over the summer, Poppy was away, at home, (and to be honest, the nurse didn't much like working with Snape anyway) Dumbledore had to ask for help with an injured Snape. The younger Barnes had come immediately and seemed to easily bond with his recalcitrant friend.

Soon Snape became drowsy and slowed his attack on the chicken pie. Dumbledore helped him up and watched him stumble into the bathroom. He appeared a few minutes later looking rather sleepy.

"Where is my robe at least? I need to go back down to my rooms," Snape glanced about. Dumbledore quickly cast a cloaking spell over the stack of clothing.

"I think Dobby took them to clean, Severus. Why don't you just lie down and I'll see if I can find him," the Headmaster said in his most innocent tones. He wanted to guard the wizard's dreams for at least one night.

"I'll fall asleep," Snape complained.

"Tell you what," Barnes entered into the deception, "Lie down and let me do one more scan. By the time I'm finished I'm sure Albus will locate your clothing," he looked sincere and Snape dutifully followed him to the bed, stretching out so the healer could look him over.

"Don't forget my boots," he yawned. Barnes carefully began a slow scan, murmuring softly to his patient. The soothing tone and gentle touch caused Snape to begin to doze off, though he fought it at first. Once he was nearly under, the Healer continued to speak softly, weaving a sleeping charm. It wasn't long before the covers were brought over and tucked in. Snape was fast asleep.

"There, no extra charge for the lullaby," he smirked at the sleeping figure. He moved quietly from the bed and moved over to Dumbledore.

"Ok, now he'll be pissed at both of us for outfoxing him. Although it was not difficult at all tonight!" Barnes smiled at the Headmaster. They'd played tag-team before with the very reluctant patient and won. Together they left the sleeping wizard and moved to the study, sitting with the door open so they could just see Snape's still form in the bed. Barnes sat, legs folded neatly.

"So, I note the stress level is quite high. I thought we talked about reducing that in any way possible," Barnes began, his eyes sparking. Snape was not doing well on the stress part.

"We've just started this week on his bearing in the class room. He was so wound up last week he sent a dozen students to Poppy ill from fear. I had to stop him from hurting the students," Dumbledore said.

He then carefully outlined the argument from the previous week and all the things Snape had been trying in his classroom and in comporting with the students.

"He's actually a lot better tonight. I think the hexes were what caught up with him," the Headmaster commented.

"Well, yes, normal,ly two of the three hexes should have dissipated on their own. I think it was a combination of the changes he's trying to effect and that nasty hex that was causing the progressively worse headache that did him in. Severus will be much better tomorrow. He can even teach if he wakes up," the doctor said.

"Oh, I'll probably wake him. He's done such a good job with the younger students. 7th year classes are tomorrow. He needs to complete the week and let all the students see he's trying. Sets the precedent for the rest of the year," Dumbledore said.

"Try to get him to come back up here for at least one more night. He'll sleep better. Then he should be ok sleeping alone again. The nightmares are horrendous," Barnes referred to the broken sleep that plagued the Potions Master. Even the stronger sleeping draughts didn't keep those dreams away. The Headmaster smiled.

"Oh, I'll get him up here at least one night. He's pretty tired so he'll follow my lead for the most part," Dumbledore said.

"I know he trust you completely, just get him to sleep and eat this weekend and he'll be up to snuff on Monday," the young healer pushed himself up.

"And if you'll excuse me, I'd best be getting home. I'm sure Dad's about given up and eaten his own cooking by now," Barnes chuckled.

"That's right, the women have gone to the conference in Paris? Or was it Dublin this year?" the older man guessed.

"Right in one, Paris. Mom and her sisters were debating on where to go first. I think the conference is just a smoke screen to go look at art museums," Barnes related. He put his cloak on and moved to the door.

"And Cindy?" Dumbledore loved to tease.

"Cindy? Oh, I suppose she'll tag along with them. Try to make a good impression," he allowed, not taking the bait. He had been dating the intern witch for several months but was not ready to commit. Of course, neither was Cindy, who wanted to finish her residency before getting more serious. Bidding the Headmaster 'good night' once more, Barnes headed for home.

Dumbledore decided to eat in his rooms that night. He'd missed dinner in the hall and he was reluctant to leave Snape alone for the moment. He sat at his desk working on his correspondence and munching on a some chicken pie and vegetables. He always had more than enough mail to keep himself busy.

After a shower he turned off lights in the outer room and went into the bedroom with a book he was reading. Snape was completely curled up around pillows fast asleep. He slipped into bed and waved most of the lights off, settling down to read.


	2. A Promise to be Better 2

A Promise to Be Better 2

author: Raven Dancer

Disclaimer: All characters belong to J.K. Rowling except for the Drs. Barnes and Beryl. I receive no monetary compensation for these works.

summary: Dumbledore struggles with Snape's moods while the students try to adjust.

Dumbledore must have fallen asleep somewhere around when the tranquilizing dart hit Leaphorn because the sun was just coming through the windows hitting his face and he didn't recall what happened in the mystery. Straightening his glasses he peered at the clock by the bed: 7:00 am. Well, not too bad, didn't over-sleep. Something seemed to be off, though, and he looked about the room wondering what was missing.

"Well, good morning Headmaster," Snape came into the room drying his hair and wearing a towel.

"Did you ever locate my clothing last night? Or did you just sit and have a good laugh over tricking me to sleep with that Healer, Barnes?" he managed to be extremely pissed-off. Dumbledore sat up a little straighter, almost feeling embarrassed at being caught when he realized he was the Headmaster, he was in charge. Folding his arms he summoned a stern demeanor.

"I do not resort to tricking people, Severus," he sounded as firm as possible. Snape sneered.

"Oooh, noo, 'just lie down a minute while I get Dobby," Snape whined in his best Dumbledore-impression, "I'll just scan you again while Albus finds your clothes," he changed and mimicked Barnes. The Potions Master's glare settled fully on the older man's face.

Dumbledore had to turn his head desperately trying not to laugh. But a snort broke through, then snickering while Snape stood in glorious anger.

"I'll just take that as a 'Yes, Severus, we did outfox you, didn't we," he said in a disgusted tone. The older man tossed the covers back and got out of bed.

"Half a moment, I'm sure I've some things for you to wear," the snickering continued.

"Oh, don't put yourself out, Headmaster. I'm sure the students will understand my coming to teach potions in A TOWEL!" he spat out. "I'm sure this happens to Flitwick and McGonagall all the time. And I know I've caught Hagrid in his jimjams at least once," he brushed past Dumbledore and snatched the comb off the bureau, sulking over to the chair to sit and attempt to detangle his hair. Still chuckling the Headmaster pulled out suitable leggings, a shirt and socks.

"You can borrow one of my robes, Severus," he offered.

"Oh, wonderful. Dress-up," he accepted the clothes offering and continued to hack at his hair.

"Severus, stop that," Dumbledore took the comb away, batting the snarling man's hands away and began to ease the teeth through the protesting hair. He quickly subdued the tangles.

"Looks good, Severus. You should use my conditioner more often," he ran "his hand over Snape's shoulder, trying to get a read on his true emotions. Snape jerked away.

"Oh, no. No energy bursts this morning. I have to teach class today," he growled. Dumbledore simply invaded his personal space, leaning over the chair and snaring the irate man in a firm hug.

"Yes, you are going to teach today. Then I expect you up here tonight after dinner for a review of your week. I'll probably insist you sleep here tonight just to be sure you do sleep," he growled right back. Snape held his stiff stance for a moment more, then dropped the facade, leaning back into the embrace.

"ok," he said quietly, stunning Dumbledore with his acquiescence.

"Need to dress, Albus," he carefully untangled himself from the hug. Once clothed, he went to the Headmaster's closet. Dumbledore also dressed and joined him to select a robe.

"Clothes horse," Snape muttered as he pushed through the long row of robes. There was a wide range of colors and materials as Dumbledore was expected to be able to dress for an incredibly wide range of activities. A headmaster of a prestigious school needed to be suitably attired.

"Here, just back off," Dumbledore retorted. He flipped through the darker end of the spectrum looking at several viable candidates before pulling out a green robe so dark that was nearly black. It was made from a heavy material, the dungeons were cold and Snape needed to keep warm.

"Thank you," the Potions Master said stiffly, moving away from the closet and pulling on the robes. the Headmaster pulled on a set of dark wine colored robes and reached for his wand.

"Just a second, Severus," the older man stopped him and bade him to turn around. He ran his wand over the robes, widening the shoulders to accommodate Snape's larger expanse and trimming the waist slightly. The length was about right, needing only to be let it out a bit.

"There, now they don't look borrowed," Dumbledore tweaked the collar a bit before allowing Snape to get his boots. Together they went down to the great hall for breakfast.

The day progressed quickly. Most of the 7th year students had heard about the change in the Potions Master and came ready to test the waters. Testing Snape had become a science for many of them over the years, pushing and prodding to see what exactly they could get away with on any given day.

Some just shaved an inch or so off the homework assignment. He countered by giving full credit to the parchments that were well written and within a few inches of the requirement. Others, of proper length or not, were not given full credit. He carefully pointed out errors, grammar and otherwise, as well as thought and reason, never mind the actual length of the thing.

Some dawdled in class, not doing the work they were suppose to be doing. Since the entire 7th year was independent/small group projects Snape did very little lecturing or testing. It was the research and project that drove the grading. The Potions Master bit his lip, not criticizing the lack of progress, but subtly rewarding the people and teams that were working diligently. When Fred Weasley and Alicia Spinnet managed to melt down their cauldron he fought back the initial reaction. His eyes flashed in anger, but he kept his mouth firmly closed until he could speak rationally.

"Clean it up, Weasley, Spinnet. You'd best check your ingredients for a combustible combination," he managed to get out in an almost normal tone. No points deducted as he turned and walked back to his desk. Sitting down he continued to review project notes.

"Flores and Campbell, you should look at the amount of foxglove you're using. It's rather passed the dose an average man or woman could tolerate," Snape remarked as he perused the set of ingredients.

"You could nearly halve it and still have a therapeutic potion," he continued absently. Most of the class glanced at him, wondering when he'd snap and return to mean and nasty. To their cautious delight, he stayed an even course through the entirety of the class and was reasonably accessible to their questions.

"All right, who's kidnapped Snape and put a ringer in his place?" Flores deadpanned as the Gryffindor contingent went up to lunch.

"I don't know, but I'd like to slip them a little something," Fred laughed.

"That was actually a decent lab session," Alicia added as they tromped up the stairs.

Snape made it through 'til dinner. He'd skipped lunch, not wanting to face his colleagues again. He was being 'lightly teased' as Minerva put it, by many of the staff. They also took his change with a grain of salt figuring he'd break down eventually and start yelling and screaming again. Only Lupin smiled and quietly supported his attempts at being less intractable.

Of course, he was still brewing Lupin's potion monthly, Snape kind of hoped that wasn't the reason behind his acceptance of the 'new, slightly used' Potions Master. He slipped into the great hall and made his way to the staff table. Lupin smiled and motioned slightly, indicating an empty chair. He moved silently passed students and staff alike, taking the offered seat.

"So, Severus, good day?" Lupin smiled amiably.

"Only one meltdown, Remus, so it has been," Snape replied. Lupin looked at him strangely a moment as he realized Snape had addressed him by his first name. Not drawing attention to that miraculous event, Lupin poured out tea into both cups.

"Just the one? Must have been George's. He was useless this afternoon," Lupin continued in a casual way.

"No, Fred and Spinnet. Probably did it on purpose, actually. Wanted to annoy me," Snape reported factually. In fact, he was right, but for him it was an educated guess.

"Did they succeed?" Lupin passed sugar and cream to his colleague who thoughtfully addressed his cup.

"Well, almost. Counting to ten isn't very useful in English. I've switched to goblin for the really big annoying accidents," Snape replied, stirring his tea thoroughly. Lupin laughed aloud.

"Ok, who are you and what did you do with Severus Snape," he teased. Snape just sighed and sipped his tea. Yes, counting in goblin was much more soothing as it required concentration to get the gutturals correct. And he liked the snarling tone of the words.

"You're counting now, aren't you?" Lupin pestered him. He sneered in reply, but continued the mental count. Fortunately, food began to appear and Lupin's attention was rerouted. Snape placed some ambiguous casserole onto his plate with fresh green beans and yellow squash. He would make it through this meal then hide for the weekend. No more 'casual' remarks about his change in demeanor. No more curious looks from staff and students. He was damned tired and wished to either sleep all Saturday or lock himself in the dungeons and pitch an awful fit.

The latter was winning at the moment. He glared at Hagrid who made a comment about newts changing spots a little too loudly while several other professors laughed. Snape knew they were laughing about him. Again he cursed Dumbledore and his insistence he change his methods. The student's incredulity was almost tolerable; they were careful to be out of earshot when they made their jokes. Plus, they weren't totally convinced the Potions Master had actually changed so they were not brave enough to laugh at him.

Not so the staff. It was a small community and since he had not been forthcoming with the reasons for his change, nor did Dumbledore see fit to setting the lot of them straight, he was a convenient target for fun. He pushed casserole around for a few minutes, tried to sip some cold juice, then just gave up, sitting back. The stress, and the inability to blow it off in his conventional way, caused his stomach to ache. He was stuck at table until at least dessert.

The Headmaster looked over at the Potions Master noting the full plate and the laughter around him. Snape was very aware he was the brunt of the jokes and he was trying very hard not to revert to his old ways of dealing with it. It really was unfair leaving him there to deal with all the changes so Dumbledore pushed away his plate and stood up, excusing himself.

He quickly moved down the row of professors pulling himself up into his most dignified "I'm in Charge" stance, telling Snape to come with him immediately. Snape ducked his head once before pulling himself out of his chair and following along without a comment. Several staff noted the removal and continued to joke and speculate long after they'd left.

Snape stayed in the Headmaster's rooms overnight. Lupin and McGonagall had taken to 'checking up' on him the past two weeks and Snape really didn't want to deal with their supposed concern. At least Dumbledore was willing to leave him be for the most part. They did discuss his past week's lessons and what had worked well for him.

Once they had a positive base working, Dumbledore began to look at things that didn't work and together they discussed some possible fixes. The biggest problem for Snape was lack of an outlet for his anger and stress. The Headmaster was astute enough not to make any quick suggestions, but rather let the Potions Master stew over his own ideas for the best part of Saturday afternoon. The wizard had finally settled in a comfortable chair with tea and a murder mystery from Dumbledore's shelves losing himself in the book.

At some point the younger man had dozed off, not noting when his mentor adjusted the chair for a more comfortable nap. A quilt was gently tucked around him with a simple sleeping charm to keep his dreams safe.

Waking an hour later, Snape sleepily regarded the room around him. Dumbledore was not in sight, but Fawkes was busily munching some seeds and fruit. A sneakoscopes spun silently on the mantle of the fireplace. The small pewter figures (a variety of magical and muggle creatures) on the bookshelves were racing each another. He watched a rather large polar bear lumber along while the dragon took to the air and flew the rest of the way past the row of paperbacks.

Snape decided he– felt pretty calm right now, not stressed.

Maybe he should just come up here to read and relax until he could find a better outlet for his stress. He thought he might like to go out for a long rambling walk once he'd had a few good nights sleep. Maybe go into Hogsmeade and browse through the bookstore. The owner had a large selection of muggle fiction as well as a used book section. He had at one time enjoyed bringing some of his old books in to trade for different used ones.

At one time he'd enjoyed a lot of different things. Going to the theater, walking the countryside, looking for different plants on the edge of the Forbidden Forest. Even flying around on his old broom for a lark. Why had he stopped? He certainly couldn't blame it all on Potter's son coming to school here. Oh, certainly, the boy had brought him a flood of memories, none very good. He'd started getting more and more angry that first year.

But that year also brought Quirrel and Voldemort. That had more than set him on edge. He knew Voldemort was alive and was growing stronger. He'd had to go back to the 'fold' over the summer, made his apologies to the Dark Lord. Suffered a hell of a lot of physical pain from trying to convince the creature he was faithful. He wasn't even sure if Voldemort had accepted him back. He used to use his hatred of James Potter and especially Sirius Black to maintain his facade in front of the Death Eaters. But much of that had been stripped from him with the aftermath of the Tri-Wizards' Tournament.

Black was innocent. He'd nursed such a resounding hatred for the man for nearly two decades only to find him innocent of being a traitor. Snape had even had to face the fact the Black that had sent him to face the werewolf had been an immature, jealous child.

And the werewolf! He'd tried desperately to sort through all his prejudice and hatred of Lupin so that he'd be able to work with him this year both at school and in the fight against Voldemort. He had to get rid of his anger and hate if only to be able to help defeat that evil! Dumbledore and Barnes had worked all summer with him while he convalesced from various mishaps.

It was all so tiring. A movement caught his eye and he found himself looking into Dumbledore's concerned eyes.

"I think I see some smoke coming from your ears," the older man began gently. A tea tray had appeared from somewhere and he watched as two cups were prepared.

"I'm not smoking," he snapped. He sighed: that felt good. Which meant it was bad. He sighed again, now dejected.

"Sorry," he mumbled, accepting the cup of tea. Dumbledore pushed a small tray of cheese cubes and chunked fruit towards the slouching man.

"Have a little snack, Severus," he selected a piece of cheddar and apple. Another sigh. But the man reached over and selected a mild gouda and several grapes. They sat in nearly companionable silence devouring the food. Snape hadn't realized how hungry he'd become.

Crackers appeared with several condiments. Sitting up straighter, the Potions Master spread a little honey mustard on a bumpy rye cracker with some sliced cheese for good measure. Pleased that Snape was finally eating, Dumbledore continued to refresh the tray surreptitiously. New tidbits kept popping up and the wizard quietly ate his way through them.

More tea was poured. Some sweet dessert breads came up with whipped butter and jams. Snape had devoured several slices when he seemed to realize he was eating. He looked at his companion who was smiling.

"Barnes will be glad your appetite has returned," he commented. Snape squirmed a bit.

"Probably," he managed to reply. He sat back a moment.

"Oh, don't stop, Severus. There's no way you'll spoil your appetite for dinner," Dumbledore sliced a piece of berry pie in half and slid it to him. Snape picked up a fork and took a small bite. A second followed as the sweet/tart filling appealed to him. With a flick of his fingers, the Headmaster sent the other half to ^the man's plate. Snape raised an eyebrow.

"You won't spoil yours, but I definitely would spoil mine," the older man said with a smile. Snape drank tea and continued on the pie.

"Have you thought of any solutions for your anger? the older man carefully asked. He watched Snape set his fork down and sip more tea. It wouldn't be good to be angry now. Easier, but not good. The Potions Master sighed.

"I think I might just come to your study and read for the next few days, until I've rested up enough," he eyed his tea trying to make sense of the dregs in the bottom. It looked like a large dog's head. A grim? He supposed Trelawny would have a field day. He swirled the leaves quickly.

"Then, I think I might start walking again. I used to a long while back. Perhaps into Hogsmeade to the books seller," he looked at the new pattern in the leaves. Still a dog. damn. Dumbledore was being silent, so he decided he needed to add something more.

"I used to read more, trade books in town. I don't know if they still do that, but I could get my own books. Might take the broom sometimes. I think I still like to fly," he swirled the leaves again. What was it with grims today? The Headmaster reached out and took the cup, glancing at the leaves.

"What are you seeing in there, Severus," he asked.

"A dog, or a grim. What about you?" the younger man asked, glad to get away from his ideas.

"Same thing. How odd," the cup was refilled with tea and passed back to Snape.

"I think you've got a good start, Severus. I know you are most comfortable up here or brewing potions in your lab. I also think taking up reading again will be good. I have lots of books if you wish to go through mine," the Headmaster pushed another plate of bread towards him. As Snape selected a piece, Dumbledore continued.

"I know I'm asking a lot from Severus. Especially since you're risking yourself spying for me," the bread settled back on the plate. "You've been slowly self-destructing this summer, aside from the physical torment from Voldemort. I want to help you as much as I possibly can so that you can survive. If you feel secure in my study, then by all means spend as much time as you need here. If you have nightmares, come to me and I'll shield your sleep. If you can't handle the students or staff, I'll find a substitute to take over until you're ready," Dumbledore reached out to touch his friend's chin, raising his face to meet his eyes.

"I'm asking you to risk your life, to help save all these people who part of the time ignore you and the rest of the time treat you less than fairly. I don't want you to die. I don't want you to fall apart. I want my friend to be here when we've finally overthrown Voldemort."

"I want to be here, too, Albus," Snape said very softly. Dumbledore's eyes glittered.

"I can't tell you how good that makes me feel," he gently stroked Snape's cheek before removing his hand. Snape fidgeted with the bread, breaking it into smaller pieces before beginning to eat it. DumblÍedore was right, he did feel safe here.

"If I stay up here the rest of the staff won't be able to see you privately," Snape pointed out, now plying his bread with a little whipped butter and strawberry jam.

"If they require privacy I can just put a wall up," the Headmaster said dissuasively with a slight wave of his hand. A stone wall separated them from his office area.

"Or I could just send you into the bedroom to read," he added with a slight shrug.

"What if you desire some privacy?" Snape pressed on.

"That's what doors are for. I have the bedroom or loo. Or another wall. I think we can work it out," he smiled slightly at the younger man.

"Plus," Dumbledore continued very carefully, "I thought you might speak with Jeffrey Barnes about your anger." Snape looked up at the Headmaster striving to contain an angry outburst. Wasn't it enough he was going through hell trying to make these changes? Did he have to parade his failures and problems in front of someone else? Dumbledore was no fool, he knew Snape was furious at the suggestion, but he didn't let it lie between them.

"He's healed you several times; you seem to get along with him. He is a full healer, he could be a good sounding board for you. Especially when you're mad at me," he smiled at the Potions Master.

"How could I possibly get mad with Albus Dumbledore," Snape could not contain the sneer. But he did wipe it off his face as quickly as possible.

"Ok, I'll see Barnes when I go into town. Make an appointment there," Snape shook his head negatively as his mouth agreed.

"Good," Dumbledore smiled broadly, "now what about a short walk outside. See if the children have tormented the squid into coming up and eating them yet." Snape smirked.

"No such luck, Headmaster, it only eats little fish. I checked years ago when Lester Spinnet decided he should melt down a cauldron a day just to see what I'd do. I suggested he clean the beast for detention and made several broad hints it was a decided carnivore," the wizard smiled at the memory. Dumbledore laughed.

"One of your more creative detentions, I see. And did he stop melting cauldrons?" he continued as they moved out the office door.

"Eventually. Turned out he detested spiders. I had such a need for good webs and live spiders that year. Rewrote my plans to include potions that utilized them until he stopped," getting students to obey sometimes took imagination. Snape wondered what had happened to the creative detentions that served a purpose; more than the punitive ones he'd devolved to. Scrubbing bedpans, cauldrons and toilets certainly didn't involve much thought. Senseless punishment.

"You're smoking again," Dumbledore nudge his friend, moving him down the hallway.

"I used to enjoy detentions more than I do now," Snape confessed. Dumbledore's eyebrows went far up to his hairline.

"Severus Snape, you enjoyed detentions? Tsk Tsk!" he teased the blushing Potions Master.

"I never would have guessed," eyebrows lowered and the Headmaster smirked. They managed to make it to the level of the great hall. The sound of talking and laughter met their ears. Looking into the hall they could see students sitting around the tables talking or playing games. Pots of tea, jugs of juice and plates of snacks were scattered about.

Continuing they made it to the front doors, which were flung open letting in the warm September sun. The courtyard was not as crowded as the hall, but students were about talking and playing. Many smiled and greeted the Headmaster and Potions Master as they made their ways across to the stairs leading down to the grounds. Snape managed to return the greetings, if not always with a smile, at least respectfully. This pleased Dumbledore and he affectionately rested his hand on the wizard's shoulder as they made it to the lawn and garden.

"It's not so hard, Severus. You're doing fine," he said quietly. The hand fell away and they walked in companionable silence over the pathway to the lake. There were students here, too. Some out on a couple boats Hagrid kept, some lolling about on the shore. A few adventuresome ones were poking through the water getting feet wet and trying to catch small fish.

Normally Snape would chase the students out of the water at the least. Most likely find some reason to shoo them away from the edges where they rested. So in turmoil over them all being so happy, so carefree, when he was struggling with seeing Voldemort and having to follow commands that revolted him. All to protect these children so they could be free to waste their lives laying about and doing absolutely nothing. He came to a full halt trying not to glare but knowing his face was not listening to him.

Dumbledore again saw the 'smoke' and followed his companion's gaze towards the children. He tugged on Snape's sleeve and managed to get him to sit on a bench close to the water's edge.

"I'd offer a gnut for your thoughts but I think it's going to take at least a dozen galleons," Dumbledore said seriously.

"Hmm? What? No, my thoughts aren't worth the muck on that child's foot," he muttered morosely. Not worth anything at all.

"Let me be the judge of that, Professor," Dumbledore pulled up straight. He waited patiently while Snape sorted out his thoughts.

"I guess I'm angry because they can be children," he finally whispered almost too quietly to hear.

"They can be children and I never could," he looked out over the lake, rowboats skittering clumsily along as the students attempted to race one another. Dumbledore suddenly realized he might just be out of his depth on this one and chose to remain silent.

"I shouldn't grudge them their childhood. I know that. But somewhere along the line I have come to resent them. I've lost my perspective, what little I managed to find when Voldemort was overthrown the first time. Now I must find it again if I'm to help you destroy him for good," dark, black eyes staring over the lake no longer seeing anything before him. Just memories haunting him. Taunting him. Snape finally put both hands to his face and rubbed his eyes, exhausted again.

It was more than the petty hates the man had nurtured over the decades, it was deeper than that. So much deeper, so much more hurt that Dumbledore couldn't even place it in the equation that gave the sum of Snape's life. His own childhood was so far away from him that he didn't think about losses and gains from it. He'd lived a long time. Snape didn't have the luxury of that perspective. He could only look back over dark times and worse. Was it right for Dumbledore to ask him to give up so much? To change so much?

The older wizard placed his arm over the Potions Master's shoulder and gave him a quick hug. The only thing he could give. Snape lowered his hands and glanced over at his friend.

"Sorry, just a little melancholy," he said, "I'll work on my anger. Maybe you're right, maybe Barnes can help me."

"Don't be sorry, Severus. Your life was not easy to begin with and you've done the best you can with the choices you've been given," Dumbledore said gently.

"I'm not too sure about that, but I suppose to get better I need to accept that as true and move on. No point in lamenting over the stuff I've messed up on!" Snape said, not too convinced. He wanted to believe Dumbledore, but he'd had years to stew and angst and tear apart his choices. He wasn't really sure he had done well at all. Again a squeeze from Dumbledore, and gentle pat on the back. They sat watching the children play.


	3. A Promise to be Better 3

A Promise to be Better 3

Author: Raven Dancer

disclaimer: All characters belong to J.K. Rowling except for the Drs. Barnes and Beryl. I receive no monetary compensation for these works.

Summary: Dumbledore discovers changing Snape will require changing staff attitudes as well. Aftermath of a Death Eater's gathering.

Returning to the castle an hour later found an early dinner being served in the great hall. There were quite a few staff members inside but Snape slipped past the door.

"Go ahead, Albus," he murmured, "go relax. I'll go upstairs and read awhile. I'm really not hungry." Before Dumbledore could reply the wizard was away from him and Flitwick was beckoning him to the table. He stood torn, wanting to continue to support Snape but also wanting to be with people not so conflicted. He turned into the hall and went to the staff table.

"Ah, good Albus!," said Flitwick jovially, "come have some fun for awhile."

"Yes, you've been stuck with Severus all day," said Mcgonagall, "you deserve a break for charitable works." A few chuckles rose from the table. Dumbledore's face turned as sour as the Potions Master's could.

"I wasn't stuck with Severus," he asserted.

"Oh, no," laughed Sinistra, "you have to maintain your friendship," she drawled the word in a mocking tone.

Another round of chuckles and laughter. He made to speak again and then realized what Snape had been going through. No matter what he said they'd never accept it, somehow twist it into a joke. Dumbledore just shook his head sadly, turned and walked back out of the great hall. A few staff half-heartedly called for him to return, but he paid them no attention.

He was surprised to find Snape really did return to his study, but he was not reading. He was curled tightly up on the couch, covered, including his head by the soft blanket that normally was over the back of the couch. The wizard really thought Dumbledore was going to stay downstairs and had given himself over to his depression.

"Severus?" he said quietly, touching Snape's shoulder. No answer, absolute stillness.

"You can't possibly be able to breath well under all that," Dumbledore continued, now running his hand over the stiff back. Still no answer. He didn't know quite what to do, but he was certain he couldn't leave him to suffocate.

"At least uncover your face so you can breathe, Severus," he tugged gently at the blanket.

"No, I can breathe just fine," the younger man managed with only a little tremor. He must have been crying. The Headmaster stared at the figure as it pulled the cover tighter about him.

"Severus, please, come out," he shifted his arms around Snape's back and lay his head against his shoulder listening.

"No," was the only reply he got. So he did the only other thing he could think of (since leaving never crossed his mind). He levitated the Potions Master up off the couch and relocated him fully on his lap, holding him close and waiting patiently. It didn't take too long, it was rather difficult to breathe. Snape's face appeared a bit blotchy.

"Thought I'd have a bit to feel good and sorry about myself," Snape groused. Dumbledore shifted slightly so the Potions Master rested more fully against his shoulder.

"Eh, didn't like what they were serving downstairs," the older man said. He gently pushed the blanket away from Snape's face and smoothed the hair back. He really was going to break one way or another. Snape leaned into the touch slightly, then simply put his face into his mentor's beard and neck, trying not to cry anymore.

"I'm a mess," he said quietly.

"Yes, you are. But at least we've found some ways to help clean you up. I'll bet Barnes will have a few more ways," Dumbledore said encouragingly. They sat together for awhile, Snape calmed down. It pleased the older man when he felt the tension drain from his companion's body and he finally relaxed. He would have sat holding Snape longer, but a stomach started growling.

"Oh hush," Snape grumbled. Dumbledore chuckled.

"I think your stomach requires tending. I know mine does," he said. Snape gave a small smile.

"It wants more food. I fed it today!" he complained.

Dumbledore hugged him, brushing his lips over his forehead. "Come, child, let's see what we can get for that stomach of yours."

Snape's eyes dissolved into shyness, he looked so much younger. Perhaps that was one way to help him through these times, more of a father to his child.

In the end it was fortunate they had moved to the table to eat. McGonagall and Sprout came up to discuss 'house business' with Dumbledore. They were surprised to see Snape, but did not ask any questions as Snape moved out of the room and into the bedroom, leaving dinner behind.

"We didn't mean for you to miss dinner, Albus. We were only joking a bit," McGonagall said quietly. But Dumbledore waved away her comment and the food as though it was beneath his consideration.

"What problems are you having Minerva? How can I be of assistance?" he leaned forward the picture of concern. Both women squirmed uneasily.

"Well, the students have calmed down this week, after last week's upsets," Sprout began tentatively.

"Though I'm still concerned about Longbottom," McGonagall added.

"What seems to be the difficulty?" Dumbledore pursued in somewhat concerned tones.

"His fear of Professor Snape. Although he didn't seem quite so fragile this morning," the witch admitted truthfully.

"I believe Professor Snape is working to help Neville learn potions brewing. He enlisted Miss Granger's expertise in working with the young man. I think they've reached a temporary agreement," Dumbledore brushed that problem aside as inconsequential.

"Yes, I see that they have. But honestly, Albus," McGonagall looked at him carefully, "just how long is the charade going to last? Snape will snap, it's just a matter of time."

"Professor Snape, at my personal request, is trying to be less antagonistic towards the students and behave in a respectful manner with staff and students alike. He has made good strides this week although some people," here he stopped to look at both women very firmly, "will not let him try. There has been some very unkind things said disguised as teasing. If Professor Snape is to make˝ any lasting changes it will be with the understanding and respect from his colleagues. The students will test him, of that we are both certain. I expect his colleagues to be much more supportive through this transition," he continued to stare, challenging them to respond.

"Of course we'll stand by Severus," Sprout replied. "We'll be sure to support him, Albus," continued McGonagall. They stayed discussing class assignments and changing a few students around. Satisfied, both witches left.

Dumbledore called Dobby and requested a fresh meal then went into the bedroom to call Snape out.

He wasn't there. Not on the bed, not in the washroom, not anywhere. The window was open, the only indication Snape had left. Wasting no time he sent for Beryl and Dobby.

"Search the castle and grounds for Professor Snape and tell him I'd like to see him. If he won't come, tell me," the Headmaster directed. As the house elves scampered off he didn't know which he wanted: that Snape had wandered off depressed or that Voldemort had called him.

Nearly an hour dragged by when Dobby returned. The house elf was dejected.

"No Professor Snape. Not in castle. Not on grounds. Asked other elves. No Professor Snape. Watcher says Wizard go into Forbidden Forest on broom," he reported.

"The watcher?" Dumbledore queried.

"House Elves watch the grounds, Headmaster. We watches for Headmaster Dumbledore," he bowed low again.

Dumbledore was touched, and impressed, that the house elves had organized to watch the school for him.

"Thank you, Dobby. Tell the Watchers I thank them also. When Professor Snape returns send him to me. If he won't come, then tell me where he goes. I need to speak with him, Dobby," the Headmaster impressed the elf.

"Dobby and Beryl will tell the Watchers. Dobby and Beryl will watch, too, Headmaster," and the small creature bowed, leaving the room.

"Where did you go, Severus?" Dumbledore mused allowed peering out the window into the gloom.

Something brushed against his face. Dumbledore swatted it away. Again, a light brushing, as if a fly were deciding to land on his cheek. He pushed at it and rolled over. Damn thing was persistent, shaking his shoulder. Stupid fly.

He stopped in mid-swat. Shaking his shoulder? Slowly turning over he opened his eyes. Directly into a scrunched-up elf face.

"Dobby?" he asked sleepily. The elf looked intently into his face.

"Headmaster? Sir?" he queried in turn.

"Yes, Dobby. I'm awake," and the Headmaster pushed up, swinging his legs out of bed. A small clock glowed on the bed stand : 4:35 am.

"Is Professor Snape back, Dobby?" he asked, rubbing his eyes.

"Professor Snape is back. Professor Snape smells like fire. Smells like smoke. Very dirty. Professor Snape is in the loo. Professor Snape said he must shower, Headmaster," Dobby quickly bounced back off the bed. Dumbledore stretched, scratching his head.

"Which loo, Dobby?" he asked.

"The Headmaster's washroom," he replied.

"Thank you, Dobby, for watching for Professor Snape," Dumbledore began.

"Does the Headmaster wants tea? Does the Headmaster wants food for Professor Snape?" Dobby barreled ahead. Standing, he pulled on his robe and started to the dresser for clean clothing.

"Yes, Dobby, I'm sure Professor Snape would like that," he told the elf as he took out leggings and a shirt. He sent Dobby into the washroom with the clothing and then the elf rocketed off to the kitchens. Dumbledore turned on some lights and took a chair somewhat facing the washroom door and waited.

After awhile the door opened and a shirtless Snape walked slowly out. He carried a towel and the sleep shirt.

"Headmaster, sorry to have disturbed you," Snape said very quietly.

"You didn't, Severus. I asked you to come here," he said with concern. Snape did not look good.

"I need to contact Dr. Barnes," the younger man continued as he walked slowly across the room to the table. He sat in a chair, but did not sit back. Instead he cushioned his head on his arms.

"I hurt my back a little," he admitted. Dumbledore stood up and waved on all the lights, moving over he looked at the torn and burned shoulder.

"Oh my lord," the older man very gently moved his hand over the damage, sending healing energy down to relieve some of the pain he knew Snape was in. He briefly wondered how he could have showered. Then he noticed the burn was mostly blisters, not charred and the tearing wasn't too deep. The pain was worse than the actual damage.

"Didn't seem too bad, Albus, just hurts like hell," Snape muttered from his arms.

"I'll send word to Jeffrey and get some pain potion for you," Dumbledore told him, moving to the computer that sat across the room. Arthur Weasley in his mania for all things muggle had worked out internet connections for Hogsmeade. A terminal had been installed in the Headmaster's office early in the summer. It proved to be a valuable tool.

He typed fast hitting the send key then moved to his cupboards where he had his potions. As he selected one to create a poultice and another to pour into juice he realized most of his stash had been prepared, brewed and bottled by the Potions Master. He gathered clean cob webbing, cup and straw and went back across to the table.

Dobby and Beryl had just set out food, tea and juice without disturbing Snape. Dumbledore smiled his thanks and sent them away. Looking down at the hurt wizard he wondered if he'd fallen asleep.

"Albus?" the strained voice called.

"I'm here, child," he placed a comforting hand on Snape's head, stoking softly.

"I'm going to put some burn potion on your shoulder. Then I'll fix you a nice cup of juice," he poured the burn potion into an empty soup bowl and dipped the webbing in. He didn't squeeze it out fully, putting it carefully onto the worst of the burning. Snape breathed deeply in and out in relief.

"Thank you," he whispered.

Dumbledore spoke quietly as he moved about the wizard, pouring out juice and mixing the powders into the cup. He set it aside and then began to wrap gauze around Snape's chest to lightly secure the poultice. His patient struggled up to allow better access to the wounded area.

"Now drink this, Severus," he held the straw to the man's lips and watched patiently as the liquid slowly moved up the straw. Snape made a slight face as he finished it off.

"Remind me to show you how to sweeten this stuff for next time," he said shaking his head. Dumbledore chuckled.

"Do you want to eat something?" he asked.

"I don't think I could," Snape admitted, "I'll just rest here. I don't think I can lie down," and he started to slowly move back to the table top.

"Half a moment. I can make you comfortable," Dumbledore pulled the chair back and levitated Snape up and out. He moved him slowly to the lounge and sat down first, Snape was lowered on top of him, curled so his wounded shoulder was up, the other snugged into the Headmaster's side and lounge. A blanket was levitated over them, covering Snape very carefully so as not to jar the poultice. Now Dumbledore could freely comfort the Potions Master and help him rest. Snape was surprised, but too exhausted to fight the arrangement.

"Sleep, Severus. I'll watch over you," he brushed hair out of Snape's face and away from the hurt shoulder. He hummed gently, a simple lullaby as he wove a sleeping charm around and through his friend. Snape moved his hand slightly; Dumbledore reached down to touch and found instead the wizard grasped his hand, holding on tight. Eyes fluttered, then closed. Breathing eased out as the pain reliever kicked in. Dumbledore moved carefully, putting his free hand up on the good shoulder and neck where he could continue to stroke cheek and head if needs be. Snape was asleep.

They lay on the lounge together, the sun slowly rose and filled the room with it's comforting light. One slept, the other dozed. A knock at the door roused the elder and he motioned with his free hand to open it.

"Hello? Headmaster?" Dr. Barnes moved through the door carrying his bag. He had brought potions for burns as well as pain relievers.

"Here, Jeffrey, on the lounge," Dumbledore called. Barnes came over, setting bag and cloak on the couch as he got his first view of his patient. He snagged a chair from the table and sat next to them.

"Burn poultice?" he moved a hand over the shoulder sampling the air then pulled back the blanket.

"Yes. Some pain powder around five this morning," the Headmaster replied.

"Ok, I'm just going to cut it off so I can see. Do you want to move?" the Healer asked, reaching for his bag.

"I'm fine here for now. Unless you need him on the bed or table top," Dumbledore replied. Barnes shook his head negatively and began to cut gauze, lifting off the spider webbing. He impassively looked at the damage, gauging the depth of the cuts and burns. Finally he reached out and put his hand on Snape's forehead, moving inside to see what internal damage there might be.

The Potions Master moved very slightly, his hand tightened on Dumbledore's. With a small moan he curled tighter against the older man.

"Sshh, Severus, you'll be fine," Barnes soothed, sending his healing energy into the tensing body. Snape slowly, slowly relaxed, his body going more limp draped over the Headmaster. Healing energy surged through the burns and cuts fixing the damage on the inside.

"Now some more potions," he continued to talk quietly explaining the potions to Dumbledore as he painted them on. The blistering began to reabsorb, skin healing almost before their eyes. Tears and cuts sealed and the scars were soon mere white lines across the skin.

Barnes placed his hands over the newly healed wound, pouring in his energy making sure all the area was really closed and whole again. Snape's breath quickened, stuttering slightly and his eyes opened. The pain was gone, he moved a bit and discovered nothing hurt. He still held tightly to Dumbledore's hand as he pressed himself close allowing himself to be cuddled for the moment.

"Good morning Severus," Barnes ran his hand up and down the healed man's back.

"Good morning, Dr. Barnes, good morning Albus," he whispered.

Barnes moved back, pulling a blanket over both men.

"I'll wash up and be right back," he said pleasantly, going to the washroom. Dumbledore waited a moment, then gently kissed Snape's head.

"I'm glad you're better, Severus. I was worried," he admitted. He was pleased the younger man allowed this comforting, both needed it. But he also needed to know what had happened last night. He continued to hold Snape when he asked, "What happened last night?" The Potions Master stiffened then slowly relaxed his muscles one by one.

"I was called so I had to fly out your window and into the forest to apparate. Voldemort was not there, but 12 death eaters had gathered, I was the 13th. The leader detailed the plans for the night: muggle baiting. Wormtail had selected a remote farmhouse for us to pillage and burn down," Snape squeezed his eyes shut as he remembered. Barnes had walked in silently and sat listening. He knew Snape was a death eater, but he'd never heard a report before.

"They played for a while, levitating, spinning, just plain terrorizing the family. They killed the dog outright. Finally all six people were returned to the house in a binding curse and it was set on fire," as a fine tremble coursed through him both Dumbledore and Barnes comforted him.

"I waited then managed to apparate inside the house. I had to take them to the safe house quickly, before anyone noticed I was gone. A couple aurors were there so I left the entire family in their care. I managed to slink around the fire and get back to the circle as they formed to make the dark mark above the farmhouse," he finished leaning against the Headmaster's chest quietly.

"How did you burn your shoulder?" Barnes asked curious.

"Roof was falling in. I wasn't fast enough. At least the muggles were ok," he said.

"Could you recognize anyone besides Wormtail?" Dumbledore pursued.

"No, although I'm sure Goyle and Malfoy were there. They don't bother to disguise their voice; stupid and arrogant," Snape commented. Barnes looked at the wizard, then at the Headmaster, amazed at the story.

"I'm sure the Ministry will send their usual report," the wizard concluded actually enjoying the closeness. He hadn't been held in more years than he could count. Warmth crept through him from the Healer as he drifted back to sleep.


	4. A Promise to be Better 4

A Promise to be Better 4

Author: Raven Dancer

disclaimer: All characters belong to J.K. Rowling except for the Drs. Barnes and Beryl. I receive no monetary compensation for these works.

Summary: While the students start to accept the changes, many of the staff feel Snape will soon revert back to his anger.

The Ministry did send their report the following week. The aurors had questioned the family before altering their memories, taking away the torture. The loss of their home through the fire was traumatic enough and they wizards had returned them to the smoldering scene within two hours.

In reading the accounts Dumbledore grew more impressed with his 'spy'. He had risked a great deal to save all six members of the family. The report mentioned how Snape had returned four times to get all the family out. Four times back into the flames.

He was disturbed by the complaint Snape had not supplied any names of participants besides Pettigrew. The Ministry officially did not believe he was alive and was, in fact, a traitor. Snape couldn't very well give names if he didn't see faces. The wizard was very reluctant to give up names if he wasn't certain. The masks effectively covered the full face and the speaking charm made it impossible to discern a normally familiar voice. He was pleased that the muggles confirmed the attackers were masked with strangely accented and pitched voices.

It was late afternoon, Wednesday. The Potions Master should be finishing up with a 4th year class. He hadn't been to lunch again. In fact, he didn't recall seeing Snape at breakfast either. Dumbledore decided to walk down and encourage him to come to dinner.

As he walked through the corridors he listened to the children chattering. They were happy, talking about potions of all things. Not about the nasty teacher but about a removing potion they had brewed that would remove ink from parchment without damaging it. The ability to fix mistakes without having to rewrite an entire parchment thoroughly pleased them and several carried small potions bottles full of the liquid.

A bright red head nearly careen into him, so intent on the small bottle in her hand.

"Headmaster!" Ginny Weasley squeaked. Her friend's dark eyes were big with worry.

"I'm so sorry, I didn't see you," she continued.

"I don't suppose you did, with that bottle claiming all your attention!" he said in a bemused tone. "What is so wonderful that you can't keep your eyes from it?" he teased her gently.

"It's a removing potion. Professor Snape let us keep some if we brewed it correctly," she said happily. "It erases ink," her friend added, "so we can fix mistakes on our homework!"

"We all got a bottle, even Justin finished it up right," Ginny continued.

"Well, that is a wonderful potion to have. Go on and clean up for dinner," the Headmaster smiled brightly and moved aside so the children could catch up with their classmates. Stepping down the hall he walked into the potions classroom. The professor was erasing the board.

"What, not using some of that wondrous potion you brewed today?" Dumbledore teased. Snape didn't even turn.

"No, it doesn't work on chalk. Have to use the old fashioned eraser for the board," Snape said equitably. He sounded calm.

"You've never shared that particular potion with me, I think I'm hurt," the older man took over Snape's desk chair and continued to watch him move around the room straightening and cleaning up.

"Albus Dumbledore never makes a mistake," he said with a slight smile.

"Oh, right!" they both laughed. Snape finally stopped and leaned against the large desk.

"In fact," Dumbledore continued, "I don't believe you've ever brewed this potion with the students before."

Snape looked thoughtful. "I let them think it was a kindness. Actually, I absolutely hate cross-outs and their pitiful attempts at scraping the ink off the parchment when they make a mistake. Now I'll be guaranteed nice, neat work for at least the month," he smiled wickedly.

"In fact, I told them if they kept up working hard I'd open the lab once a month and they can brew more. I also said it was a fourth-year privilege and only they could brew it. That should open up a furious black market, don't you think?" Snape was very pleased with himself.

"You old sneak!" Dumbledore laughed, delighted. "Now they'll trade it with their housemates!"

"And I won't have to deal with messy papers any more!" Snape chuckled. "Eckels nearly fainted when his turned out correctly. He got two bottles."

"That must be Justin?" Dumbledore asked.

"Yes. He's not as nervous as Longbottom, but a close second. He needed some leverage with some of his housemates in Ravenclaw. This might just work given the house tendency for academic perfection," Snape stretched his back, moving his head from side to side.

"Well done, Severus. I knew you could put that devious mind of yours to better use," the Headmaster's voice was rich in praise. Snape bowed his head slightly and grinned. It was almost better than blowing up and yelling.

"So, why did you really come all the way down here, Headmaster?" Snape asked, still smiling.

"Well, I didn't recall seeing you at lunch or breakfast. Have you eaten anything today?" the older man asked in the same upbeat tone. His companion sighed.

"No, I haven't eaten. Just couldn't drag myself up the stairs. Dobby stopped in earlier and threatened to feed me if I didn't come up," Snape reported.

"Why didn't you? You know you're too thin as is; Barnes will come and feed you again!" concerned tone, but not too overbearing.

"It's hard," Snape pushed off the desk, "and I don't want to sound like I'm complaining."

That threw Dumbledore off. Snape had always complained long and loud when he felt he'd been wronged. Years of it, in fact. He watched Snape move over to a stack of parchment and fidget with it.

"Complain?" he queried.

"I don't like being laughed at," Snape admitted very quietly.

"Nobody does, Severus," the Headmaster said sympathetically.

"I know it will grow less in time, but I've had over 20 years with some of these people and they don't forget. I've caused a lot of angry feelings because of how I acted. I suppose this is pay back," he put both hands on the parchments and leaned against the table.

"Sometimes I think I can't go on like this, my stomach hurts so much. But then I realized last night I really can't go back to what I was. It may relieve the tension screaming and yelling and pitching fits, but it also creates a whole different set of problems. Being angry would not have helped those muggles; I had to be clear-headed. Being angry does not make students work better, it makes it dangerous most of the time. I can't carry the anger against my colleagues either. The hatred spills over into everywhere else," he closed his eyes against all the self-reflection. Dumbledore stood and moved to him, placing an understanding hand on his shoulder.

"You're right, Severus. It will take time and even then some of the people will never give up their own hurt and anger. You'll just have to work hard to do what you can and try to ignore the rest. Have you had a chance to speak with Jeffrey?" he asked gently.

"Yes, he stopped by yesterday to check my shoulder and to do his curse scanning. He seems to think I need to be de-hexed twice a week for some odd reason," Snape reported.

"Did he find anything?" the Headmaster asked.

"Not really. He wants me to eat more," the younger wizard said with a shrug. "We talked a little. He said I could come into town Saturday to see him in his office. He was very pleased and he said he'd like to work with me," Snape concluded.

"Wonderful, Severus. I know Barnes will help you!" he placed another hand on the wizard's back and rubbed gently. Tight, but not as stiff as the week before.

"Why don't you come up to dinner and sit with me. You can tell me about classes and I'll bore you with administrative stuff," Dumbledore offered. Snape shrugged a bit.

"Plus, if you eat all your vegetables, you can come up to my office to read awhile tonight," he tempted Snape. The Potions Master moved his head from side to side deriving more benefit from the massage.

"Ok, I'd like that Albus," he replied softly, "unless it's lima beans. Then I'll have to pass."

Dumbledore, caught off guard by the humor, snorted and leaned against Snape.

"Child, you surprise me," he said. "Let's go clean up for dinner."

"I'll be up shortly, Headmaster. I need to get my papers together," Snape replied.

"I'll save you a chair," Dumbledore moved away and headed out the door.

Twenty minutes later, hair brushed and work robes traded for cleaner, Professor Snape entered the filling great hall. Tonight several students shyly greeted him; he returned their 'hullos' with a nod and returned 'good evening'. The staff table was already full. He glanced up towards the Headmaster and saw a smile and a quick wave. A chair really was waiting for him next to Dumbledore. Moving quicker, he extended the same courtesy for courtesy with various colleagues before settling into his chair. Flitwick was to his left, but the professor was in deep conversation with Professor Vector which allowed Snape to turn to the Headmaster.

Dinner smelled delicious. The house elves had prepared some of his favorites, chicken, mashed rutabagas and potatoes, long green beans, rolls and butter. He conservatively placed food on his plate and poured out iced cranberry juice before passing the pitcher to Flitwick. A small pitcher of gravy appeared next to him and he happily poured some over his chicken.

"Oh, darn, no lima beans," Dumbledore remarked quietly. Snape smiled.

"Oh, darn," he mimicked. They shared a chuckle and began to eat. Snape had to fight not to moan in pleasure. Food tasted soo good. His stomach delighted in the warmth and bulk as he slowly took bite after bite. Dumbledore did not push him to converse much, but they exchanged pleasantries.

Snape began to relate the various students' reactions to the removal potions when McGonagall's voice drifted over.

"Oh Severus, you didn't teach them that stupid potion, did you?" she scoffed.

"I think they found it valuable," he said as mildly as possible.

"It's so much simpler to teach them the charm," Flitwick added quickly. "Less trouble, too."

"I'm sure that it is," Snape ground out pleasantly, taking

another forkful of potatoes and rutabagas. He began to count slowly to ten. Was it Dumbledore's imagination or did Flitwick seem disappointed Snape didn't argue? McGonagall began again on his right.

"You should have asked me, Severus, for the incantation."

"You shouldn't have bothered, Severus, the students should have to redo their work until it's correct," Flitwick continued.

"Yes, Severus, it's really a cheat, using that potion," McGonagall rolled along. Snape set his fork down and wiped his mouth. At least he didn't waste much food. What was in his stomach, once happy, now set like a lead weight.

"It's not cheating, Flitwick. It's a useful tool. You'll benefit, too. They might just spend longer thinking about what they'll write since they won't be rushing to recopy it several times," Snape pointed out trying to sound as normal and calm as possible.

"Nonsense," came the quick retort. "Recopying drives the learning into the brain," and McGonagall agreed with Flitwick.

"I guess we have different thoughts on the matter," Snape managed.

Dumbledore waded into the thick of things. "I don't consider it cheating if you give the students a useful tool. I don't like frustrating children with senseless tasks," he added cooly.

The conversation definitely dwindled, but the damage had been done. Nearly half of what was already a pitifully small portion was left on Snape's plate. The wizard didn't even bother with tea or dessert.

"I think I'll have an early night, then, Headmaster," Snape pushed up and before he could be stopped, left.

Dumbledore was angry. What was this, pick on the Snape night? He turned to McGonagall.

"What did you say to me last Saturday? That you'd try to be more understanding? Just what was that conversation all about? 'Stupid potion?" he asked heatedly. The witch had the decency to blush.

"I was just pointing out how much easier it would be to use a spell than a potion," she tried to defend herself. Unable to reply without yelling, the Headmaster pushed up and left the table.

Snape slammed into his rooms, letting the heavy door ram into the stone. He was angry beyond words, a red fury had built up within him with every step down the stairs to his dungeons. He couldn't yell at anyone. He couldn't slam some stupid idiot into a convenient wall. He couldn't criticize, be sarcastic, couldn't be rude. Had to BLOODY WELL TAKE whatever was dished out to him. Picking up a chair from the table he ran across the room and slammed it into the wall with a satisfying, resounding crash.

Several bottles fell off his shelving joining a litter of glass from earlier that week.

With chest heaving from the uncontainable anger Snape leaned against the much maligned wall. He was down to the one stuffed chair now. gods his stomach burned. He wanted to vomit, get all that vile crap out of him. But he couldn't even do that, could he? Then he'd lose more weight and Barnes would be after him, too. Sinking to the floor, sitting amidst the remains of his chairs, Snape pulled his knees to his chest and tried to control himself.

He'd lost it. Again. At least it was just his stuff he was ruining. His chairs. His wall. His bottles. His stomach. His life. His stupid, worthless life. Oh, great. Now he was going to cry. His stomach roiled in discontent and he wondered if it was even worth going to the loo to vomit. Who cared? No one ever came down here except to torment him. He rested his cheek on his knees and rocked slowly.

Dumbledore stormed up to his office. All the way up he tried to calm himself. He had to be calm. It would do no good to help Snape when he was this angry. He stood at the door breathing deeply. After a dozen good deep breathes he was ready to go inside.

To an empty room. He looked about the office then the study.

"Severus?" he called, popping his head into the bedroom.

Nothing.

"Severus?" he pushed into the bathroom. Empty. It hit him all at once Snape had retreated to his own rooms. Feeling completely overwhelmed he ran and hid. Dumbledore immediately became worried. How upset had the Potions Master been? He certainly hadn't eaten much. He hadn't been sleeping well. He'd been alone except for the students for the bulk of three days. The little contact with him and Barnes would not be enough to help him work through the anger and melancholy.

Very upset then.

Dumbledore immediately left his rooms, nearly bowling McGonagall over in his hurry. He simply glared at her.

"Headmaster, if I may have a word?" she began.

"No," he spat, moving by her and going down the stairs quickly.

"See me tomorrow, Professor," he shot over his shoulder. The Headmaster was soon on the stairs leading to the dungeon. It certainly was dark! He thought there were more torches in the halls. He had no idea Peeves routinely doused most of them in hopes of tripping the Potions Master. Ahead he saw light spilling out of Snape's doorway. Strange. Why would his door be open? He reached the opening and turned in.

Dumbledore's eyes widened significantly. The room was a shambles compared to its normal neatness. Glass was on the floor and against the far wall on top of a the remnants of at least one chair sat the Potions Master. Head cradled in arms and shoulders shaking. Not even noticing someone had come into his quarters.

Not believing anyone would come.

The older man carefully walked across the room and stood in front of Snape.

"Why bother?" the Potions Master said broken, "none of it matters. I don't matter."

"Severus," Dumbledore breathed his name with as much warmth as he could muster. There was no response. Slowly he lowered himself down, pushing wood away and pulled the body gently towards him.

"Severus, come here," again warmth and love. Snape slid over latching onto the Headmaster tightly. All Dumbledore could do was slowly rock the distraught man, crooning softly.

How long they sat together Dumbledore couldn't guess. He was aware at one point someone walked in but the person left quickly. Snape had stopped crying but he was not letting go.

Another person came into the room. This person did not leave but came to them, moving pieces of debris and sat down. Another set of arms and a warmth of energy filled them. Gratefully Dumbledore looked up into Barnes' eyes.

"Hullo Severus," he whispered quietly.

"Hi," came the dull response.

"Maybe we should go clean up and get more comfortable, Severus. You seem a little chilled," the Healer continued kindly. Dumbledore began stroking his friend's cheek and hair.

"Ok," came the flat reply.

Barnes looked at Dumbledore again, wishing telepathy was possible.

"Let's go up to my rooms, Severus," the Headmaster said quietly. It took both men to raise the Potions Master. The halls were mercifully empty as they walked together. Snape neither spoke or watched where he was going, simply followed the guidance of Barnes' hand on his elbow. They were up the moving stairs and into the washroom easily enough. Barnes carefully removed torn robes checking for any cuts or self-inflicted wounds. There were none. There was enough pain in Snape's life he didn't feel compelled to add to it.

Completely on automatic the Potions Master was cleaned and dressed in sleepwear. He was silent, not even giving the single word answers. He moved when pulled or pushed but initiated no moves on his own. Finally Barnes climbed onto the lounge and pulled the man down on top of him. A blanket moved over and covered them both.

"A little tea?" Dumbledore pulled a chair next to them and rested a hand on Snape's back.

"Stomach hurts," the wizard replied nearly too quiet to hear.

"Milk, maybe something very mild like soup, steamed rice?" Barnes said preparing to scan his patient. The Headmaster rang for Dobby and sent the elf down for some food. Then he sat waiting in case he was needed.

Barnes did not find any curses or hexes. He found exhaustion, a nearly empty stomach trying to devour itself, muscles bunching in knots. He fed warm energy through Snape as he pondered what to do.

"Sorry, I didn't handle that very well, Albus," Snape suddenly spoke.

"I really tried. I just don't know how to talk with people."

"Severus, you spoke with everyone at dinner just fine. They were teasing you again," Dumbledore soothed.

"Didn't feel like teasing. Felt like being wrong, like a verbal cruciatus curse. Can't make them happy, can't make Voldemort happy, can't even make you happy," he said dejectedly.

"Severus, they were being mean when they teased you. Flitwick wanted to argue with you. They are used to arguing with you. It's going to take some more time before they don't just react, Severus," he smoothed hair from the man's face.

"You've made me very happy, Severus. Just hearing the students chattering happily about their potions being fun made me happy. You've worked so hard to do all that I've asked of you, I can see that," Dumbledore smiled trying to catch his eye. Snape looked up into his mentor's eyes, saw the smile, the acceptance and sighed deeply.

"I'm very tired," he whispered.

"I know you are, but you need to eat just a little to give your stomach something to do," Barnes interjected.

"I can't eat anything," Snape protested weakly. Dobby chose that moment to pop in with warm soup and bread. A dish of ice cream sat next to the bowl.

"Try for me," Dumbledore asked, offering a spoonful of broth. Barnes shifted his patient and encouraged him to take the warm liquid. Together they coaxed Snape into eating most of‰ the bowl and some bread. The ice cream was easier going down, cool creamy vanilla.

"I'm tired," Snape tried again. This time Barnes simply ran hands over his back and smoothed the tight muscles.

"Then sleep, Severus, we'll be right here for you," he murmured a sleeping charm edging the exhausted man over the abyss. He made no move to get up but looked over at the Headmaster.

"I thought we discussed reducing stress?" Barnes asked rather critically.

"I can't seem to control the staff. The students for the most part seem to be accepting of the changes, a bit gun-shy, but accepting overall. But the staff!" Dumbledore wiped at his eyes.

"Jeffrey, they just don't let up! He's skipping meals most of the time so he doesn't have to listen to them laughing. He's hungry, he can't eat; he's exhausted, he can't sleep, he's running himself ragged trying to behave more rationally and I don't know how to help him!" Dumbledore himself was a bit past the edge and the Healer reached over to take his hand.

"Albus, sshh. It's ok. Severus has been a difficult man from day one. Changing him into a less angry, less nasty person is extremely challenging. We know he has to , especially with the rise of Voldemort and so many lies being exposed. We can't let him self-destruct. He doesn't deserve it. You're doing exactly what you should, providing him with a solid friendship. He just doesn't know how to ask for help yet. He's moving in the right direction, there are just a lot of obstacles he'll have to work on with you and with me," Barnes continued to hold and rub the Headmaster's hand until he got a response.

"Thank you, Jeffrey, I couldn't cope without you," he said quietly.

"You're more than welcome. Working with you is both an honor and a pleasure. I know we'll get Severus up on an even keel and we'll overcome any difficulties thrown before us!" the young doctor's enthusiasm was contagious and Dumbledore felt better for it.


	5. A Promise to be Better 5

A Promise to be Better 5

Author: Raven Dancer

disclaimer: All characters belong to J.K. Rowling except for the Drs. Barnes and Beryl. I receive no monetary compensation for these works.

Summary: Snape teaches, Dumbledore mulls over the past and Peeves gets caught.

Dr. Barnes spent the night wrapped around his patient. He kept a tight reign on any dreams that slipped in and made sure the wizard slept. Dumbledore slept on the other side, Snape had fisted his hands into the older man's sleep shirt.

Somewhere around 5 am Snape stirred and tried to get up. Both watchers woke and sleepily tried to contain him.

"just the bathroom," he muttered and Snape crawled from the middle disappearing for a few minutes. Barnes sat up waiting, ready to go collect the wizard if he proved reluctant to return to sleep. But Snape surprised them both, wandering back to the bed and climbing in without a complaint. He pulled closer to Dumbledore, his head nearly on the older wizard's shoulder, hands once more holding on tightly. When the Healer moved back in to buffer his sleep Snape did not refuse, but yawned deeply letting the charm wash over him.

Healer and Headmaster fell back to sleep. It was quiet for two more hours. Then Beryl bustled in with the morning tea and woke Dumbledore. Barnes sent a sleeping charm into Snape, not wanting him up quite yet. Not until he could talk with the Headmaster. Both men clambered out of the bed and poured tea.

"So?" the older man queried.

"What's on his schedule for today?" Barnes asked selecting a piece of buttered toast.

"Thursday, sixth years morning, fifth in the afternoon," Dumbledore mused. "Afternoon's the worst of the week."

"The question is, should he teach," Barnes mused.

"Well, the students have been much more positive than the staff," the Headmaster said. "Also, we don't know how he's going to feel when he wakes up."

"True. He may not be up to it at all. Do you have a substitute?" the Healer asked.

"Me, for sixth. I could get a seventh-year to monitor the fifth years this afternoon," Dumbledore said.

"Then why don't you start off and I'll see how he wakes up. I'll come down or send a house elf and let you know by lunch," Barnes decided. Agreeing, the Headmaster selected clothing and dressed.

"I'll head down to breakfast. Just ring the bell for Dobby or Beryl. The computer is in the other room if you want to use it," Dumbledore glanced at the sleeping Potions Master.

"Jeffrey, be honest, is he going to be ok?" strain in the voice, but he didn't really care. Barnes followed his glance and watched the covers rise and fall gently.

"I think so. He's strong. He's survived all these years without falling apart totally. Severus will make it through this, too, Albus. Although your chairs might not be safe!" Barnes put a comforting hand on the older man's shoulder. The off paced humor caused a smile and Dumbledore headed down to breakfast feeling much better.

The message appeared before lunch. Snape himself walked into the potions lab with Barnes nearly glued to his robes. He walked up the aislen looking into cauldrons softly making suggestions and giving compliments. The students actually seemed pleased he had returned, judging by the small smiles that cropped up. Snape moved along, promising to check homework before afternoon class.

Snape actually smiled at the Headmaster then thanked him for taking his morning classes. He continued to his desk and sat down pulling parchments towards him. Barnes sidled up to Dumbledore.

"He is a stubborn git, has anyone else noticed that?" the Healer grumbled.

"Professor Snape? Stubborn?" Dumbledore's eyes widened in amazement. A pair of sixth-year Slytherins snickered.

"You wouldn't say that, would you gentlemen?" he quickly turned to the students enjoying their surprise.

"Oh, never sir!," replied the first.

"Especially not where he could hear!" added the second.

Moving out of earshot, the Doctor and Headmaster chose to watch both class and Professor at work while whispering to one another.

"He woke up a bit confused, but that cleared quickly enough. He showered and ate breakfast for me and we talked enough that I was reluctantly convinced he could return to teach as long as he promised to come back upstairs to your rooms for the night," Barnes said quietly.

"What about eating?" Dumbledore queried.

"No staff table. I told him to eat in your rooms or his office for now. Can't go back to his rooms unless I'm with him. Too fragile," was the reply.

Sighing, the Headmaster watched Snape again moving around the students testing the potion brewed. Madame Pomfrey had requested some cough potion for fall allergies and the sixth year had the honors. HaÏlf the cauldrons passed final inspection and the students began bottling the potion. The cauldrons that didn't pass were dumped and the students returned to help their classmates. The entire process was very efficient.

"You'll have enough time to bring this potion to Madame Pomfrey in the hospital wing. She'll be pleased to have it!" he sent the children off in good spirits. Even those that failed to brew properly didn't seem upset since failures had been explained. Homework had been checked in and points given for both potion and work.

Snape walked over to the observing men.

"Well, did I pass?" he asked with a teasing sneer.

"No bones broken," returned Dumbledore, "suppose so." A sour look passed over Snape's face only Ïto be replaced with a small smile. He bowed his head with a chuckle. He did enjoy the sarcastic banter, no mistake there. Raising his face again he looked a little more serious.

"So, I can teach my fifth years this afternoon?" he asked carefully, "without a sitter?"

Barnes and Dumbledore looked a bit uneasily at each other.

The doctor took the lead.

"Yes, but only if you come up to the Headmaster's rooms after. You don't really need to prep anything for Friday's classes," he cautioned.

"No stopping in your rooms. We'll pick up some clothing on the way out," Dumbledore added. Snape readily agreed to both strictures. He shamelessly hustled both men out so he could grade papers and prepare for the afternoon's potion. The students would be brewing some basic fever potions for Madame Pomfrey's stores and some of the ingredients were rather touchy. He wanted everything lined up and carefully documented before Longbottom touched the cauldron.

"Well, he's pushy," Barnes' deadpanned as he joined the Headmaster at the door to Snape's quarters. The older man waved an opening spell and pushed on the door.

"We really should clean this up before he..." the Healer stopped in mid-sentence.

The room was clean. Glass that had been shattered was swept up. Bottles that survived had been lined up neatly on the cupboard shelves. All the bits and pieces of chairs were gone and four wood chairs (that even matched) had been set around the table. Furniture had been righte¯d and the knitted blanket was folded neatly over the back of the small couch. On the table was a small arrangement of dried plants, their musky scent pleasant but not overwhelming. Walking to the table a stunned Dumbledore picked up a small parchment.

'let me know if you need anything else, - Filch' and under, in a neater script: 'Sev, call me when you can! - Remus'

He handed the note to Barnes.

"Lupin sent me the message that Severus had collapsed," the Healer explained.

"He must have cleaned up in here last night," Dumbledore said gratefully. "Remus has been supportive of Severus, but there's a whole different set of problems we haven't touched!" he concluded.

"Best fill me in as we go, Albus. I'll need the whole backstory if it's pertinent," Barnes said.

"Severus' whole life is probably pertinent, Jeffrey! He'll have to tell you a lot of it if he wishes. But I will tell you about Remus," Dumbledore allowed.

It took the best part of two hours to fully satisfy Barnes' curiosity of the Marauders and Snape's school experience. He was rather surprised so much went on in the school without any adult knowledge at the time. The Headmaster was quick to point out a lot could and did happen without adult knowledge.

"At the time we wrote it off as childish pranks. James Potter was as charming as you could desire, except when it came to Severus Snape. Severus had the double whammy of being in Slytherins and being a dark loner. Plus there was an added factor. Sirius Black. He was James' best friend and Severus's worst enemy. I didn't know until years and years later just how much the two boys hated one another," Dumbledore shook his head. "In retrospect, I handled several incidents poorly. I tried to make up for that, but the damage had been done."

Barnes thought about all the 'pranks' that had been outlined. He knew at the time they thought they were harmless and simply funny. But for Severus Snape they had a damning effect that he was still struggling to overcome. Even if he had given as good as he got, it was not equal when the staff always favored with the popular group over the angry loner.

"Well, it may seem rather dismal, but you seem to have become his closest friend, so although it was a horrible experience for him, he has you after all," Barnes commented. Dumbledore shrugged uncomfortably.

"I've never really talked about those years with anyone but Severus. I always have put it aside as rather silly to dwell on. But now, talking with you, I can see it isn't silly at all. I had a blind eye when it came to that group of boys even though I cared greatly for Severus then and now."

Barnes leaned on his knees, moving a hand over the Headmaster's hand and drawing it close to him. He turned it over and studied the myriad lines that intersected and ran across the palm.

"You know, we're wizards. We benefit from a variety of magics. We can do great things. But when you sit down and look at it all, we still end up being human. Our choices are important, what we do after we've made them is more important."

He smoothed the palm, warming it with his energy.

"You've kept Severus. You care for hi&m. He'll make it through because of you," Barnes soothed the Headmaster.

Dumbledore watched, listened, allowed himself to be comforted. "I do love him, you know. I called him 'child' the other day, as in 'my child'. He melted, just melted. I'd never seen him so open and vulnerable. Our roles, our relationship, over the years has grown and deepened in ways I never would have guessed all those years ago when a scrawny, angry 11-year-old sat in my office after cursing his head of house."

Barnes looked impressed.

"He cursed his teacher?"

"Oh yes, and it was justified, actually. Although I told him then, as I've told him many times since, there are almost always different ways to handle the various situations he gets himself into," Dumbledore smiled softly at the memory.

"Different, but not necessarily better," Barnes said. We're going to have to stress that! He keeps trying but as he well knows the cards are stacked against him. Especially with his colleagues," Barnes said.

Dumbledore sighed and sat up straight.

"That is a big problem," he conceded.

"It will get better," Barnes quickly interjected, "Severus needs to sleep and gather his strength. Once we've got that taken care of we'll work on other releases. You've helped him begin to think about other things to do. At some point some of the staff will notice. Lupin has."

They sat together in silence for a moment. Together they looked at the clock.

"He's been working for a half-hour with the fifth years," the Headmaster commented.

"Tough group?" Barnes asked.

"Oh, yes!," Dumbled'ore replied, "James Potter's son is in it."

They sat a moment longer.

"I think I might wander downstairs and take a quiet peek," Dumbledore said, "just to see how it's going."

"Yes, that might be a good idea. Should I come, too?" Barnes asked.

"Oh, sure, I can shield us both," Dumbledore agreed. They headed out the door together.

Snape had carefully detailed the fever potion on the chalk board. He spent twenty minutes going over each step to be sure everyone would do well. He spent another ten minutes trying not to cause Longbottom to hyperventilate whenever he looked in the boy's direction.

He wanted to scream!

But he did not. Instead he sat at his desk sorting through homework parchments while the teams began gathering and lining up their ingredients for the potion. Granger had carefully written everything out for Longbottom (and her own meticulous notes). The first run through looked promising, perhaps he could somehow give out a few extra points to soothe the frazzled nerves.

After tallying up points and sending them to the house globes, Snape set the stack aside for more serious grading. He stood and began his circuit of the class, commenting on the cauldrons simmering on the magicked fires.

"Goyle, 2 points for your shredding. You've been working on your technique, haven't you?."

"Finnegan, 2 points for your blending. Patil, look at the consistency of Finnegan's paste as a guide for your own."

"Well, that's an interesting way of slicing those leaves. Let me show you how to handle the blade so you don't get as much blood in the mix."

He stopped to 'demonstrate knuckling down on the bunched mint leaves while Weasley and Potter watched. Then he positioned both sets of hands over more leaves and made sure they were cutting more safely.

"Get a plaster, Weasley. Wash your hands first," and he moved on to the last cauldron. Granger was struggling over the cauldron for some reason while Longbottom fidgeted with the long spoon nervously.

"Everything all right, Granger?" Snape managed to keep the sarcasm out of his voice, but he still scared the heck out of the boy. The spoon jerked up bringing quite a bit of liquid with it. The professor managed to turn so the hot potion hit his hair and part of his robes. Immediately he began counting to ten before he said anything. He felt a cooling charm hit the hot liquid immediately preventing any burns.

"Thank you," he managed as he walked to the safety shower. Pulling on the handle he rinsed his hair and pulled off his outer robes. The entire class had stopped working and were now staring with great concern, and fear, at the dripping wizard. Longbottom looked as if he wished he could hide under the table. Definitely wanted to bolt from the class in any event. Snape shook his robes and saw the bleached splashes; the black was completely gone in the splotches.

Tossing it aside he grabbed the mirror on his shelf and looked at his hair. Where the liquid had hit his hair was now a yellow-blonde. He closed his eyes for nearly a full minute working on his control. Finally he set the mirror down and turned to face the class. He knew they were ready to dive for cover.

"Well, Longbottom, I'm not sure what you've brewed but I think Gilderoy Lockheart would be interested in it. His hair was never this lovely a shade of blond," and he forced his mouth not to sneer.

Draco Malfoy snickered. Between the reference to the prissy ex-professor and the streaks in Snape's own black hair it was impossible not to. Potter joined in the strangled laugh. Finally several students laughed outright. Snape simply stood, still rather serious but with a curve of a smile on his face.

"Back to work, all of you!" he commanded but without anger.

"Now, Granger, Longbottom, let's see what you've done here," and Snape spent the next ten minutes listening to a stuttering Longbottom and frustrated Granger going over the list of potion steps and ingredients.

"Well, lemon grass was called for, not lemon juice; that can account for part of the problem," Snape pointed out carefully. He glanced at the board, his writing was clear as were Granger's notes. Longbottom flushed.

"I just got nervous," he whispered. Ah. The moment had arrived.

"I can see that, Longbottom. Let's try this. Dump your cauldron and the two of you can assist Finnegan or Potter's team. Then on Saturday in the afternoon you both can come down here and we'll try it again. I'll give you half credit if you finish it correctly then," Snape tried to keep his tone reasonable.

"Also, Ms. Granger, if you have found anything that interests you from your research, bring it along and we can look at that, too."

Neville wasn't sure if this were a punishment or not but Hermione smiled broadly. Snape knew she'd found something that she wanted to try.

"Four o'clock? That should give you time to go into Hogsmeade if you wish," he said, wondering if he'd used a light enough tone not to set the boy off again.

"We'll be here at four, Professor Snape," Hermione assured him. She busied herself cleaning up, pulling on Neville to help her. Snape moved up to his desk and sat down idly wondering how he would fix his hair. gods knew it would give most of the staff a good laugh to see him like this. A twinge in his stomach forced him to set the thought aside. He glanced up and noticed Longbottom was looking at him. The boy quickly looked away.

Snape gathered up the parchments and put them in his carrier. He'd bring them upstairs and correct them. Standing he went around the class again to check the potions. Of the dozen cauldrons 4 were correctly brewed and soon the students were bottling th"e potion while others dumped and cleaned the classroom.

"Homework, a parchment on why my hair and robed bleached out. I've given one suggestion, lemon grass versus lemon juice. But there are at least two other substitutions that could create this effect. Once you're packed up please carry the potion up to Madame Pomfrey. She's been waiting for a new batch," Snape turned and sat back at his desk, waiting for the classroom to clear. He noticed Longbottom was hanging back.

"You need something, Longbottom?" he asked gruffly. Neville managed to hold his ground, then stepped closer to the desk.

"You may sit, if it helps," Snape added, waving a chair closer. The boy sat down and gathered his thoughts.

"I'm very sorry I splashed you, Professor Snape," he managed to get out. "I don't know why I'm such a clumsy git."

Snape looked at the frightened child. Was this what he did normally to his students? Reduce them to a quivering heap of insecurities and fear? No wonder Dumbledore took him to task!

"Neville, it was only an accident," Snape said more gently than he thought he could. "You're frightened of me, I must have startled you when I came up to check your cauldron." It was the absolute last thing Longbottom expected to hear from the evil Potions Master. His mouth dropped slightly and he found himself staring at a concerned face, not an angry one.

"I'm sorry, too. I'm not angry with you, although I must admit I'm not too keen going upstairs right now," Snape shrugged as he indicated his hair.

"Why?" Neville asked before he thought.

"Well, a few of the professors will probably think this is quite amusing. I don't like to be laughed at, makes me angry," Snape admitted.

"I don't really like it either," Neville admitted, "but I just don't know how to stop acting stupid."

"First off, you're not stupid or clumsy. You're nervous and that takes away your focus. Maybe you could talk with Granger or one of your other housemates to help you with your notes. Have them check it after you copy. At the very least you'll start with the correct recipe," Snape suggested. He had a whole list of suggestions but figured it would only upset the boy if he said them all. One was enough for now. Longbottom squirmed in front of him. He certainly felt strange talking with Snape of all people!

"And now you'd best get up to class. Let me give you a pass," and Snape rummaged through his desk securing a note for the boy. Handing the note to him, the Potions Master stood taking his work with him.

"Thank you, Professor Snape," Longbottom managed, not looking too traumatized for a change. The moved passed the empty cauldrons and were nearly to the door when the door flew open with a loud 'bang!' and Professor McGonagall came in ready to save her Gryffindor.

"Severus Snape!" she shrieked, "just what are you doing with Longbottom!" Both men looked a bit shocked.

"I was just directing him up to class, Professor," he managed to get out. Neville held out his pass.

"I'm sorry Professor McGonagall, I only wanted to speak with Professor Snape about the accident I had today," Neville said quickly, glancing between professors. McGonagall did not back down.

"You must stop harassing the students, Snape," she spat out heatedly. He could only look at her with slight confusion.

"He wasn't harassing me, Professor. He was just explaining what had gone wrong and what I could do to fix it," Neville sounded rather firm which also surprised Snape. He stayed silent, not knowing exactly how to respond. The witch glared at the boy, causing him to step back into Snape who put a hand on his shoulder.

"Minerva, honestly, I did not try to harm Neville. He apologized for dousing me, that's all," Snape tried a small smile and familiar names to see if that would calm the witch down.

"I don't know what game you're playing here, Snape, but it's not going to work! Get to class, Longbottom!" and McGonagall swept out of the room taking Neville with her. The Potions Master stood rather stunned by it all. Finally he dropped his parchments and sat shakily in the closest chair.

What did he do wrong now? Damn! He'd been good. Really he had! And still he was condemned. Before he could begin to fall apart he felt a set of hands on his shoulders and a warmth filling him.

"You were brilliant, Severus," he heard Barnes' voice in his ear. Another hand was touching his arm.

"Yes, Severus, very well handled. Minerva's got quite a lot of nerve tearing into you like that!" Dumbledore added.

Snape glanced at the two men who'd just appeared. Seems he had 'sitters' anyway. But they hadn't interfered with his teaching at all so he didn't get too upset. McGonagall had taken care of his stomach and nerves just fine. With a sigh he shut his eyes.

"When did you two wander in?" he asked quietly, taking comfort in the warmth and wishing his stomach didn't ache quite so much.

"About the time you were showing Potter and Weasley how to slice leaves correctly," Dumbledore said gently.

"We figured we'd just hang about," Barnes added. Snape was quiet a moment.

"We weren't trying to upset you, Severus. We just wanted to be around in case you needed some help. You've been hard pressed of late," Dumbledore continued.

"Oh, you two don't upset me. I expected at least Albus to sneak back in. Minerva, now she upset me a lot," he admitted. Barnes smiled protectively. It was very good that Snape was starting to openly share his feelings. The next couple weeks would be rough, but the doctor had great hopes for his patient.

"Let's go on up and get you something to eat. It's been awhile since breakfast," the healer added. Snape frowned.

"Stomach hurts," he grumbled, "I don't want to eat."

"It will feel better once it gets some food in it, Severus," Dumbledore said, then stood up offering his hand to pull up the Potions Master. Barnes picked up the slightly scattered parchments. Snape was nauseous, his stomach burned. How would putting food in it help? He mind was spinning from the accusations even though Barnes and Dumbledore were calm and supportive.

Barnes noticed the professor zoning out, eyes unfocussed and face pale. He took Snape's elbow and began to guide him out and the door. It was very dark in the hallway, the torches seemed to have gone out. Snape moved on ahead, knowing the way from the years wandering down there.

"I'll start the torches," the Potions Master began, reaching for his wand and moving into the hallway. He'd only gone a few steps when he was flattened by a shrieking poltergeist.

"HAHAHA Icky slimy snake has to slither in the dark!" Peeves laughed as he floated malevolently abovve the prostrate wizard.

"Peeves, don't you ever get tired of pulling the same damned pranks year after year?" Snape said in a subdued voice.

"LUMOS!" Dumbledore roared, his wand immediately filled the hallway with light exposing Snape pushing himself up from the floor and Peeves floating above very surprised to see the Headmaster. In the distance a silvery ghost came through a hall wall. Torches relit as he floated closer.

"Peeves, have you been tormenting the Potions Master again?" the Bloody Baron moved above the now sitting man.

The poltergeist looked from Headmaster to Slytherin Ghost wondering how he'd get out of this mess. He'd been caught more than red-handed.

"Professor Snape? How are you?" asked the slightly disemboweled voice of the bloodied ghost.

"I've been better, Baron," Snape addressed the ghost formally. The Baron passed through the fallïen as if to check for himself. Snape shivered convulsively from the intense cold.

"You do not need this harassment. You have enough difficulties without this creature's cruelties," the ghost zeroed in on the quivering Peeves.

"With your leave, Headmaster, I will see to Peeves."

"Thank you, Baron, I would appreciate that," Dumbledore bowed slightly.

"Sir? How long has Professor Snape been subject to this type of harassment?" Barnes asked as he moved to assure himself the professor was really ok. The Baron looked down at him, somewhat pleased by the honorific title.

"Peeves has always disliked Professor Snape, since he was a student here. He has only this year taken to darkening the hallways and tripping him, though. I have been trying to catch him at it and now I have," there was a slight sneer to the ghost's voice, which made it all the more eerie. He slid bonelessly to the trembling poltergeist and enveloped him. Both disappeared in thin air.

"That always bothers me," Snape commented.

"Severus! Why didn't you tell me Peeves had been attacking you?" Dumbledore immediately demanded. Snape slowly stood, straightening his wrinkled and torn robe. Barnes silently noted how cold the man was, his outer robes having been shed earlier.

"Why? He's been doing all sorts of things to me since I first came here. The Baron began helping me once I became Head of Slytherins. What more can be done?" rather fatalistic, but true. Unless Dumbledore was to remove him permanently there was little else that could be done. Peeves was an annoyance, but even he could be of use at times. This wasn't one of them.

Snape turned and continued to the stairs. He just wanted to lie down and sleep. He couldn't go back to his rooms so he simply went the path of least resistance. Barnes didn't like this silence. Dumbledore didn't like the paleness of Snape's skin. Neither could get a word out of the man.

Near the entrance to the Headmaster's office they met Professor Sprout and Sinistra. Both witches were coming to speak with the Headmaster.

"Severus!" Sprout put a hand to her mouth trying not to laugh.

"Love what you've done to your hair!" Sinistra deadpanned. Snape looked blankly at both women and shrugged. He walked passed to the hunchback statue and whispered the password. When the door opened, he went up the stairs leaving them behind. Barnes hurried trying to catch up.

"Is this an emergency or could we speak at dinner?" the Headmaster asked.

"Is Severus all right, Albus? He looks ill," Sinistra countered, question for question.

"He is not feeling particularly well," Dumbledore hedged. He didn't want to gossip in hallways. No more information was offered.

"No, no emergency. We'll see you at dinner," Sprout said and with a nod the Headmaster went up to his office leaving the two witches to speculate what was the matter with Professor Snape.


	6. A Promise to be Better 6

A Promise to be Better 6

Author: Raven Dancer

disclaimer: All characters belong to J.K. Rowling except for the Drs. Barnes and Beryl. I receive no monetary compensation for these works.

Summary: The gossip mill gets ahold of a few tasty bits.

When Dumbledore entered his offices he saw Barnes standing over the couch arms folded staring down intently at a still figure. He hurried over and noted Snape was completely curled around the sofa pillow, eyes closed and face slack. The Healer looked up at the Headmaster.

"He walked in, went directly to the couch and fell asleep," he said quietly. Dumbledore sat down next to the limp body and gently prodded it.

"Severus? Child?" he mustered all the warmth he could. At first there was no response, then Snape's eyes open slightly.

"Child? Are you all right?" the love in his voice was very apparent and he ran his hand over the tired face moving hair and soothing lines. The eyes opened a little more.

"Just tired, Albus. Want to sleep," he murmured. Barnes dropped down to his knees so he could look into those lackluster eyes.

"Hey, Severus, don't fall asleep just yet, ok?" The Healer cupped the Potions Master face in his hands, gaining his attention. A little energy began to flow through the touch. They waited a tense moment as the wizard mulled the request. If Snape didn't want to comport with reality, then he could simply tune them out. Finally Snape nodded slightly and allowed them to move him up, sitting on the couch. He leaned against the Headmaster while Barnes gently scanned him. Within a minute the Healer pushed himself up and rang for the house elf and ordered some bland food: cereal, fortified shake and toast.

With Dumbledore's help Snape was moved to the table and sat in an armed chair. When the food came up Barnes immediately began coaxing him into eating. Toast, hot cereal, cool shake slowly traveled into the wizard's mouth. He managed a modest amount which the Healer grudgingly accepted as enough.

"Now, how about a warm bath? I'm sure it will feel very good, Severus," Barnes wheedled the reluctant man into the washroom and into the tub. ﬁ He pulled his medical bag along and added a few herbal potions into the water. A wonderful fragrance filled the small, steamy room and Snape settled back in the warm with a happy sigh.

Barnes sat quietly on the 'throne' watching the relaxed professor closely. It would be fine if he fell asleep now, and he'd probably give Snape something to push him over if he was too exhausted. After a bit two tired eyes opened and sought the Healer.

"Need to sleep, Barnes. Will you let me sleep now?" he asked softly.

"Of course, Severus. Let me help you dry and dress for bed," the Healer said with a small smile.

Dumbledore was at his desk speaking with Professor Flitwick. He wanted to be in with Snape but glad Barnes was there to help. The diminutive Charms teacher was happily relating the day's successes. He had been chattering about the first years' attempts at floating feathers when Snape moved silently out of the Headmaster's washroom wrapped snugly in the Headmaster's bathrobe followed by that young healer from Hogsmeade.

Flitwick's story slowly dwindled as he watched both men go into the Headmaster's bedroom. With mouth slightly open he turned to Dumbledore. There was a strange light in the older man's eyes that the Charms teacher could not quite understand.

"Was that Professor Snape Albus?" he asked quite surprised. What in the name of the seven fires was that man doing in the Headmaster's rooms? Bathing? He was shocked at the hubris of the wizard.

"Yes, it is. He's a bit under the weather and Dr. Barnes is seeing to him," Dumbledore said somewhat carefully.

"Wouldn't it be best to send him to Pomfrey? At the least? Or perhaps into town to stay at the clinic?" Flitwick said with concern. There was a flash of anger in the Headmaster's eyes.

"No, Frederick, he's quite fine right here," the Headmaster managed. "Now, then, did any of the children charm the feather correctly?" He directed the professor back to the more sotcial conversation they had been engaged in. The conversation never re-engaged. Flitwick finally made his excuses about getting ready for dinner and left full of concern and questions.

Several professors met before dinner to have a drink and a bit of conversation. It was quite apparent to all present Minerva McGonagall was still angry about Snape's alleged treatment of Neville Longbottom. Lupin had tried to derail her quietly, but she twisted his words.

"So he's gone and snapped? Is that what you're telling me?" she nearly yelled.

"That's not what I said at all, Minerva!" he countered quickly.

"Well, I'm not sure exactly what's up," Flitwick commented as he sipped his high-octane juice, "but I was just in the Headmaster's offices and he was wandering about in the Headmaster's bathrobe!"

Several scandalous voices piped up.

"Really, Frederick!"

"The Headmaster's bathrobe?"

Flitwick smiled to himself, enjoying the attention.

"Oh, yes, came out of the washroom with that healer from Hogsmeade, Barnes, I believe. They both went into the Headmaster's bedroom!"

More aghast whispers. Lupin just lowered his head into his hands. How did this conversation get so out of hand?

"So, you think he's really gone off the deep end?" Sinistra asked, "or just what are you implying, Frederick?" The way she drawled out 'implying' brought out more vulgar associations.

"I don't know exactly, Dumbledore wouldn't comment on the situation except to say Snape was a 'bit under the weather'."

"Did you get a look at his hair? Who or what streaked it blonde?" Sinistra changed gears quicker than a hot rod given the green.

"That was Longbottom's doing," huffed McGonagall. "He messed up some potion or another and splattered Snape with it. Looked like a total git."

"I don't know, reminded me of Lockheart," piped in Flitwick, not wanting to lose his piece of the limelight. He received a round of snickers for the comment.

"Look, Severus has been very pressed lately. We shouldn't be gossiping about him like this," Lupin tried to breathe some reason into the gathering.

"Oh, right," sneered McGonagall. "He only sent a dozen children to the infirmary the first week of school! No, Albus has him on a short leash. Probably academic review!"

Another chorus of startled whispers. Review meant forced improvement or getting sacked. This situation was just too delicious to not gossip about. With a groan Lupin threw himself back into his chair and listened to the excited conversations spiral out of control.

Dumbledore sat at the staff table wondering where the rest of the staff actually was. Dinner was just coming up and the students were happily chattering and filling their plates. Across the hall he noticed six professors hurrying in and securing places at the table. Sprout and Sinistra sat across from him.

"Headmaster," Sprout nodded her greeting and gave a very knowing glance to Sinistra.

"Headmaster," the other witch echoed as she sat down. Lupin slid in to sit next to him. All three began filling their plates. After a few minutes of eating Dumbledore asked Professor Sprout what she'd wanted earlier that day.

"Well, actually I was only going to discuss a late transfer between my class and Sinistra's," she said. "We have a student who just can't keep up on the astronomy work but is more successful at herbology."

"That's not a problem," he said with a shrug. "Just inform the Head of House."

"That would be Minerva," Sinistra said. "When she's done ranting about Longbottom we'll let her know." Dumbledore looked sideways at McGonagall several places down. She did seem a little stiff still.

"I can't believe how angry she is," Sprout picked up, "it's not as though Snape has never upset her precious Gryffindors before." The witch chuckled aloud.

"Well, Snape did send several students to the infirmary," Sinistra said, sipping at her soup.

"That was the first week," Lupin jumped in. "He's really been trying hard since. Some of my students have said his classes have become quite interesting.

"He has been working to improve his attitude and bearing," Dumbledore said mildly, hoping the conversation would steer away from the Potions Master. Sinistra glanced at him curiously.

"So he's on academic probation, then?" she asked as casually as she could. Dumbledore started, then lowered his fork.

"No, he is not. Where in the world did you get that idea?" the Headmaster spluttered.

"Oh, just a thought that was kicking around the staff room earlier. He has been quite surly this term and some of the staff can't believe he's actually going to change," Sprout was quick to step into the discussion. Lupin glared at both witches.

"That's not all that was kicked around," he muttered under his breath.

"He's been ill, Louise. He's been under some stress. He's working on it," Dumbledore spoke quickly. He noticed the two women looked at one another with strangely annoying little smirks.

"What?" he asked defensively.

"Oh, nothing Headmaster," Sinistra said.

"The soup is particularly good tonight," Sprout added. The conversation about Snape ended. The two witches chattered about the weather and classes for the rest of the meal.

Snape woke after eight that night a bit befuddled once again. He wasn't sure where he was at first, although he was quick to figure out it was the Headmaster's bed. As he lay looking at the drapes moving slowly in the slight breeze his memory began to filter back and he recalled with a little shame falling in the halls and McGonagall's verbal attack.

The anxiety started to build as he pushed himself up, coverings falling back to expose the Headmaster's sleep shirt and leggings. He thought he could recall everything that had occurred that day, but now he wasn't sure. He hoped he hadn't been too big a nuisance. He decided he should get back to his own rooms even though Dr. Barnes had told him not to leave. These were the Headmaster's rooms for gods sake. He shouldn't be here!

His body reacted sluggishly to movement and the covers seemed to be fighting him as he tried to swing his legs out of the bed. He was concentrating so hard on getting upright he missed the movement at the door and didn't see the Healer coming towards him.

"Severus? Anything wrong?" he asked softly as he helped straighten the covers. The Potions Master fell back against the pillows.

"I, I just thought I should be getting back to my own rooms," he said. Barnes helped him, putting another pillow behind him and raising him up a little more.

"No, Albus wants you to sleep right here, remember? You are just fine here," the Healer smoothed his hair back out of his face, looking into the exhausted eyes. He'd been asleep about four hours; he looked like he could use 20 more.

"What about a little tea and something to eat, Severus. A little soup? The elves made a nice pot roast for supper," he queried as he began to scan the internal condition of his patient. He could sense the anxiety and hoped to calm him down.

"I also want to give you a potion to help you sleep better. You keep waking andÏ aren't really getting a good rest," Barnes continued, managing to hold Snape's dwindling attention.

"I would like some soup, maybe some tea," Snape agreed. He felt the Healer prodding inside and feeding him energy. It took the edge off his nerves and relaxed him slightly.

"Can I sit at the table?" the Potions Master asked a little too quietly.

"Of course, Severus. Let's get you up and we'll get you ready to eat," Barnes agreed equitably. As he helped the wizard up Dumbledore walked into the room.

"Hi Severus, how are you doing?" he asked with forced cheerfulness. The younger man looked at him a little too wide around the eyes.

"I'm fine, Headmaster," he managed, moving towards the washroom.

"Just going to have a bit of a late dinner, Albus. He wanted some soup and tea," the Healer added. They watched as the Potions Master disappeared into the loo and shut the door.

"Are you all right, Headmaster?" Barnes asked, concerned. Dumbledore rubbed his face with both havnds.

"Dinner was a fiasco. Somehow a rumor has started that Severus is on academic probation and is going to get sacked," the older man looked at the Healer. "I also had the distinct impression a few other things were being bantered around about him and me, but I couldn't get anything definite." Together they looked over at the loo door, hearing water run.

"Hogwarts is like a small village; everyone knows everyone else's business. Gossip is a big problem!" Barnes said.

"Well, it's a problem I'm going to have to address, and very soon," Dumbledore said, then shook his head slightly at the younger man as the door reopened and Snape walked out.

"Ah, Severus, let's go have a little tea," the Headmaster said, leading the wizard towards the table.

After Snape had eaten somewhat more than the previous meal the doctor brought out his medical bag and sele;cted a small vial. He placed a half-teaspoon in the wizard's tea and stirred it thoroughly.

"This will help you sleep, Severus, all night. You've been waking every time you start to dream; you need to stay asleep and get in some good rem time," he pushed the cup back to the Potions Master. Picking up the cup he sniffed it carefully, not discerning much more than a slightly woody aroma.

"Don't worry, Severus. I plan on spending the night and Albus will be here, too. You can sleep and we'll keep you safe," Barnes added quietly. Bringing the cup to his lips Snape sipped. It didn't taste bad, the chamomile in the tea still came through. Taking another, longer sip, then a long pull, he finished the rest and set the cup down gently.

"I, for one, would really like a good night's sleep," Snape said with a very slight smile.

"The potion won't make you feel particularly drowsy right now," Barnes said. "We can sit and talk or you can read if you'd like."

"Or we could play cards," Dumbledore added, with a very mischievous grin.

"I don't have any salary left for the year after the last time I played with you," Snape gave a little glare at the older man.

"Ah, but you could win it back," the Headmaster countered. Snape raised a sneer.

"Oh, right, win it back. I'll just end up owing you another year's worth," he shot back.

"You two play for money?" Barnes asked a little surprised.

"Actually, we play for points," said Dumbledore.

"Yes, and I'm about 27,000 points down," grumbled Snape. Barnes looked from one man to the other.

"I like this. I want to play for points, too¯!" he said eagerly. Snape rolled his eyes.

"Oh, yes, you'd like that, too! Get the Potions Master deeper in the hole, eh, Barnes?" he growled.

"Now, Severus, you're only a couple thousand points down! You could get it back especially if Barnes was playing, too!" Dumbledore wheedled. Cards would be good. He could certainly use the diversion. Snape considered the possibilities. He was already substantially down so it didn't matter that much to him. On the other hand, Barnes was 'fresh meat' as the Headmaster had so indelicately referred to him (Snape) when they began playing. Maybe he could make up some points.

So the Potions Master acquiesced and watched Dumbledore get the cards and the points pad. He listened as the points system was explained. The Headmaster had 928 points; he had negative 1,324. Ok, he wasn't very good at cards. He used to be, but he found it difficult beating that innocent facade of Dumbledore's. Barnes' name was inscribed on the pad. He'd start at zero.

They played several hands of gin, the first two were just teaching and practice for Barnes. Then they played 'for real'. Snape was surprised to win three of four games gaining nearly four hundred points. Better yet, Dumbledore went down by nearly three hundred and Barnes had only a modest 178 points to show for his efforts. A large yawn split the Potions Master's face.

"Excuse me," he managed before another yawn was stifled.

"Perhaps you should lie down, Severus," Dumbledore said with a small smile.

"Oh, sure, now that I'm finally wi-ing," another yawn.

"Come on, Severus," Barnes stood and held out a hand to help the sleepy wizard up.

"You can lie over on the couch where you can still hear us if you'd like," Barnes offered. Snape accepted that proposal and carefully pushed back and stood up on his own. He moved over to the couch and settled down carefully while a blanket was tucked over him. He felt warm hands on his face, on his shoulders, then a warmth stole over his body. He yawned once more then slipped into a deep sleep.

Barnes and Dumbledore played a few more hands, mostly as a vehicle for discussing current affairs. Cards were a good diversion and both men relaxed.


	7. A Promise to be Better 7

A Promise to be Better 7

Author: Raven Dancer

disclaimer: All characters belong to J.K. Rowling except for the Drs. Barnes and Beryl. I receive no monetary compensation for these works.

Summary: While Snape rests under Barnes' watchful eye, Dumbledore continues to run the school.

Snape woke slowly. It was dark. Quiet. Warm.

He rolled and started to snuggled back into the covers when he remembered the reason for his waking. Covers floated back and he got up. Wandering a bit he looked for the loo. It seemed to have moved. Blinking, he glanced about.

His body moved again, propelled towards a door that opened and led into the loo. A bit strange. Didn't look like his loo. With a shrug he attended to business. Tile was cold. Window was open slightly letting in the cool autumn air. Shivering, he washed and went back into the bedroom.

This was off, too. The bed was not where he'd left it. He couldn't see very well in the gloom, but he knew his bed should be over on the far wall. Except in his room the 'far wall' wasn't that far. Confused, he tried to remember if Dobby and Beryl had gone on one of their cleaning binges and moved walls. Another nudge, he moved over to the bed and sat on the edge. A cup was in his hands, lifted to his lips he drank a little, then deeper, the liquid was cool and smelled of an early spring day full of rain and wind.

Blinking, the cup moved away and he felt himself climbing back into the bed. Soo warm. The covers seemed to hug him as he curled around a large pillow. With a happy sigh he drifted back into the unremarkable dreams he'd been having.

"He's cold," Dumbledore the pillow complained.

"Got lost going to the loo. Didn't fully wake up," Barnes commented as he curled close, monitoring the Potions Master's sleep.

"Gave him some more sleeping draught," the Healer yawned.

Silence blanketed the room and they joined Snape in sleep.

Snape slept very late, not waking until lunch. Barnes was moderately pleased, the wizard at least looked rested, the dark circles under his eyes had mostly disappeared. He stumbled into the loo and returned awake.

"So, did I miss Friday?" he asked as he accepted a cup of tea.

"Not entirely," Barnes answered, "it's only lunchtime." Nodding, Snape sipped at the hot tea.

"Chamomile?" he asked with a frown.

"Chamomile," Barnes answered, "good for you."

"Blackberry?" Snape asked hopefully. The healer grinned.

"Tomorrow, if you're good," he returned. He received a sneer.

"I'm good. No one notices," he sulked. A plate of sliced fruit appeared before him followed by a hot bowl of chicken stew. Rolls came next. Barnes watched his reaction to the food ready to change it if needs be. He was determined Snape was going to eat today. The Potions Master selected a piece of bread and tore it open. After taking a bite he accepted the serving spoon placing a small serving of stew on his plate.

Fruit was nudged towards him and he picked up a piece of melon and ate it. Gently coaxing the wizard was led through the entire meal. Snape allowed the nudging, taking a little more stew. Once done a few dessert choices came up with a fresh pot of tea. With a small grin Barnes poured out a fresh cup.

"Blackberry, Severus?" he handed over the cup with a slice of banana bread. With a happy sigh the Potions Master accepted the cup and leaned back into the chair. He was drowsy again. He wondered if he should get ready to teach the afternoon class of 7th year students. He watched as the Healer rummaged through his stash of potions selecting two separate vials. These were opened and the contents sniffed before added to a small cup of juice. This was stirred completely then offered to Snape.

"The potion of the day is?" He asked as he took it from Barnes. Without waiting he swallowed the slightly bitter concoction.

"Oh, a couple things I had lying around the office. Wanted to see what effect they had on the human body," he teased.

Snape raised an eyebrow.

"Remind me to notify the Ministry about your testing practices," the Potions Master said dryly. Barnes laughed.

"It's to help keep you less stressed. I have several different types of potions for anxiety and all weekend to try them on you," he smiled.

"Oh joy," groused Snape. "Don't you have any better thing to do with your time than drug me up?"

"Nothing as much fun!" the Healer asserted. He watched Snape toying with the sweet bread. His vocal tone was sarcastic but his body language was not. Shoulders hunched, face slightly bowed as if carrying some heavy weight. Reaching for the tea pot Barnes poured out more tea for both of them.

"You are exhibiting the classic signs of a nervous break down, Severus. You're not sleeping, you're extremely anxious, you are under incredible stress both here with the changes Albus wants you to make and having to go back to Voldemort. Then you add to that the gossip mill and Mcgonagall," Barnes listed.

"Gossip mill?" Snape said with deadly frost. Barnes proceeded to kick himself mentally hard!

"Oh, just the normal stuff," he hedged.

"Normal stuff?" Snape pressed, sitting up straight.

"Severus, it's nothing," the Healer squirmed.

"If it's nothing Barnes, why are you so uncomfortable?" Snape pushed relentlessly. He continued to prod the Healer until he began to reluctantly dgetail what rumors he'd heard. The Potions Master became incredibly quiet.

"I have a class to teach, doctor," he finally said, pushing up and disappearing into the bedroom.

"That's not a good idea, Severus," Barnes called after him. The potions would make him sleepy. Not a good thing for advanced potions that required critical attention. He moved to the bedroom door and watched the wizard slowly pull out clothing. He noted his patient was leaning against the bureau. Probably dizzy. Side effects were a problem. After a moment he pushed away and moved to the lounge.

"Damn," he cursed, "I can't teach like this," Snape sank down and sat on the edge. Barnes came across the room and sat next to him.

"I'm sorry, Severus. Gossip is cruel, especially since you can't defend yourself from it," Barnes placed a hand on the wizards' shoulder.

"No, I can't," Snape agreed, "if I tried it would just give them more fodder. And if I tried to teach weaving around like this I can imagine how they'd twist it."

"So you'll stay here this afternoon?" the Healer gently asked.

"Yes, Jeffrey," the wizard sighed, "I'll stay here."

"Good. You can just relax this afternoon. We can talk tomorrow if you're up to it. In the long run the only way to combat the gossip is to get better," Barnes pointed out.

"At least the students don't have a clue. They are curious, but more accepting," Snape commented. Barnes rubbed his shoulder softly. Even with the potion it was tight.

"Look at it this way, Albus is getting great hands-on experience in the classroom," Barnes said. The Potions Master thought about this a minute.

"Yes, although I'd love to see him with the Weasley twins. I do hope he knows how to use the safety shower," a slow grin spread over Snape's face at the thought. He'd been in the shower nearly every Friday (and Tuesday and Thursday) for the past three weeks. He allowed the Healer to bring him back out to the sitting area and tuck him into a comfortable chair while he fetched more tea and the newspaper.

"We'll just relax a bit, Severus," Barnes said, pulling out a notepad. Snape glanced at him, eyebrow quirked.

"Uh huh. I always take copious notes when I relax," Snape muttered, shaking out the paper.

Several hours later the Headmaster returned slightly damp around the edges. Snape was peacefully dozing in the chair while Barnes worked a crossword puzzle. Being a wizard's puzzle it was giving him 'helpful' hints.

"No, no, that's not spelled right; and a sitar is a muggle's musical instrument not a piece of furniture," the puzzle chastised.

"Settee?" Dumbledore asked as he shook out his cloak.

"Enough letters, at least," the puzzle noted. Barnes tossed it aside in mock disgust.

"I hate it when animated objects are smarter than me," he grumbled. The headmaster snorted and walked over to the Potions Master, running his hand across his face pushing his hair back. The wizard started slightly, blinking then smiled sheepishly as he realized where he was and who was by him.

"Hi Albus," Snape murmured, leaning back once more.

"Wouldn't you be more comfortable on the couch?" the older man asked, continuing to gently stroke his face. Sleepy, Snape leaned into the touch.

"Tried to move him earlier, he was rather adamant about staying put," Barnes interjected.

"Didn't want to fall asleep," Snape protested.

"I can see you're wide awake, child," Dumbledore soothed, cupping his face.

"Let's move to the couch," he pulled the Potions Master up and managed to get him to the couch, ending up being a pillow once more. Snape curled up tight, holding onto the Headmaster's robes.

"Hmmm, I have the feeling you've gone ahead with your plan to try out those anti-anxiety potions," Dumbledore mused as he carded his fingers through Snape's hair. The wizard sighed happily and started to fall back asleep.

"Yes, we tried one at lunch. It should wear off in another hour," Barnes smiled. "He has not been stressed at all."

"Looks like he's been comatose," Dumbledore noted, moving his hand to rest on Snape's shoulder.

"Unstressed, comatose, same thing," Barnes sighed. "Don't worry, I have other potions. If anything he'll be well rested by Monday."

"That's very true," the Headmaster agreed. "Did you have time to talk with Severus?"

"Not really; I managed to get lunch into him and was just starting to get onto discussing his stress when I made the mistake of mentioning the gossip," Barnes ruefully admitted.

"I gather he didn't take the news very well?" Dumbledore looked down at the sleeping wizard, smoothing hair and gentling worry lines.

ÎNo, he did not. I could have kicked myself for having mentioned it," Barnes admitted.

"He was bound to find out. Best he knows now and can work out ways to deal with it than having a surprise like I did last night. I think my jaw hit the table," Dumbledore said wryly.

"That would explain the bruise," Snape said softly.

"Thought you were asleep, Severus," the Headmaster smiled at his friend.

"Pillow's talking," the wizard complained. He turned so he was flat on his back looking up. "And itchy," he continued patting the ever present beard.

"Picky git, aren't you?" the older man countered curling his lip up. Snape stilled.

"I'm teasing, Severus," a hand rested quietly on the younger man's chest, feeling the heart beating a little too hard.

"You're getting my sneer down," came the somewhat subdued response. Dumbledore only moved to stroke hair back and smile.

"Do you want to sleep a little more?" he asked gently.

A soft 'no'.

"Do you want some tea?" asked BÙarnes, leaning forward.

"I know I could use some," Dumbledore added. "How you tolerate that cold shower is beyond me!" That caused Snape to smile.

"Oh, tell me the Weasleys' didn't spill on you," he asked.

Dumbledore pretended to pout. "Not so much spill as fling. I never knew those two boys were so jumpy. They must have charmed the paddle to stir at a constant rate and forgot about it. All I can say it's a good thing we never carpeted the dungeons," the Headmaster kept his hand against Snape's head. As long as the wizard would accept the comforting Dumbledore was willing to give it.

"They tried that once last year. I'm rather surprised they tried it again. I know they hated the detention with Filch," he stretched slightly then attempted to sit up. The change caused him to pale and grimace slightly.

"Dizzy?" Barnes asked, moving over to the couch beside him quickly, hand on his shoulder.

"Yeah, just a bit," Snape admitted, letting Barnes and Dumbledore keep him safely upright.

"Residual side-effects," the Healer explained. "A little tea will help. Earl Gray?" Snape nodded very slightly before lifting his head again and trying the world with his eyes opened.

"Some sandwiches? Crackers and cheese?" Barnes asked, hopefully.

"Ok," came the reply.

"Yes, I could do with a little something about now," Dumbledore agreed.

Barnes pushed up and rang for the house elf. Beryl presented himself nearly immediately.

"Yes sirs?" the elf bounced about. Snape attempted to follow the creature before groaning and closing his eyes. Dumbledore gently pulled him against his shoulder.

"Rest your head, Severus," he murmured. Barnes was telling the elf what they wanted when a knock sounded at the Headmaster's door and McGonagall pushed the door open.

"Headmaster?" the witch called out. Snape pushed away from the comforting shoulder. Which didn't help his equilibrium. He struggled with sitting then gave up, sinking backwards into the couch's back.

Dumbledore stood and began to move around to meet the witch. She certainly had a strange look on her face.

"Yes, Minerva. Come in. We were about to have some tea," he explained. The strange look settled into anger as she focused on Snape's head.

"I wish to speak with you privately, Headmaster," she said as coldly as possible. There was no mistaking the glare. Dumbledore waved her over to his desk.

"Privately," she repeated, a little louder and sharper. Snape pushed up and in one fluid movement gained his feet. He turned and stumbled towards the bedroom knowing he'd never make it out the door down to the dungeons. Somehow he made it to the door jamb, leaned against it briefly before pushing off again and disappearing into the room. Having finished with Beryl, Barnes followed Snape quickly hoping he would make itQ safely to the bed or chair. The door closed behind the Healer.

Sitting down at his desk Dumbledore cooly regarded the agitated woman. She stiffly walked over to a chair next to the desk and sat down.

"Headmaster, I must speak with you about Professor Snape's deplorable behavior," she said. He quirked an eyebrow.

"Professor Snape's behavior?" he asked calmly.

"Yes, Headmaster. I thought you had spoken with him about how he treats his students in and out of class," she looked at him sharply.

"Severus and I have discussed his professional bearing in the class. He has made the changes I have suggested as well as a few of his own," he outlined carefully.

"I'm sure you have," McGonagall agreed, "but I'm not satisfied with those 'changes'. I believe he's done a lot of harm to many of the more sensitive students." She leaned back daring him to refute her.

"I know he had problems the first week of school Minerva. We spoke then and I took the steps necessary to help him. He has improved a great deal, I have seen no further evidence of that behavior since," he countered.

"I'm not so sure, Headmaster. I had to go down into the dungeons to retrieve Neville Longbottom. The child was in shock. I have no idea what the man did to him," she said.

Dumbledore was surprised. There was no way the child was in shock or harmed by his talk with the Potions Master.

"That is a serious accusation, Professor. Are you prepared to bring Mr. Longbottom up here to speak with me?" he met her glare with a cool gaze. She shifted and looked away.

"I'm not leveling any accusations," she muttered. "I'm simply stating what I've observed."

"Minerva, I think you need to step back and take another look at Severus. He is working on changing. He's even going to tutor Longbottom and Granger on Saturday afternoon," Dumbledore tried to soothe her.

"So they miss the Hogsmeade trip, I see," she snapped back.

"No, Minerva. No. They're meeting at 4 pm after the students return from the village," he fought not to mimic her tone.

"I believe he's giving Longbottom the opportunity to try brewing his failed potion from Thursday's class and offered Granger a chance to do some advanced work." McGonagall processed this information slowly.

"Advanced work?" she queried.

"I believe Miss Granger has indicated she'd like a challenge. Professor Snape can certainly give her that," Dumbledore explained. The Transfiguration teacher relaxed slightly.

"Well, it seems you are working with Professor Snape," she allowed.

"Yes, I am," he agreed.

"It seems academic probation can be a good thing, then," McGonagall continued.

"Academic probation? Severus is not on probation. Who told you that?" Dumbledore asked sharply. The witch immediately stiffened.

"I heard it in the staff lounge; I'm not sure who brought it up," she danced along the edge of truth.

"I would appreciate it greatly if you would put an end to any rumors you hear regarding Professor Snape. He is not on probation. He is doing much better in class," the Headmaster said heatedly.

"He's in your bedroom, too. That was mentioned in the staff room as well," McGonagall pointed out.

"Exactly what are you implying, Minerva?" Dumbledore looked at the witch with the most frosty of expressions.

"I'm implying nothing. Most people stay in the hospital wing or in Hogsmeade's clinic when they're sick. The staff is bound to be curious why he's given special treatment," McGonagall said with a shrug of her shoulders. The Headmaster weighed her words, initially wanting to blast her out of the room.

"Most staff, most of the wizarding community, does not know what Professor Snape has gone through for our safety and well-being. Nor am I disposed to discussing it in this atmosphere. Suffice to say Severus has more than earned the right to rest here whenever he wants," Dumbledore said with great finality. McGonagall fidgeted a moment.

"I apologize for questioning you, Headmaster," she said quietly. The wizard's face softened.

"Thank you, Minerva. I was very upset when I found out about the gossiping. It is not fair to Severus to be attacked by his colleagues. Especially since he'Ks trying," he said quietly.

"Is there anything I should know? To help Severus?" she asked tentatively. Again, Dumbledore weighed his words very carefully.

"Only that he's under a great deal of pressure right now. I believe you should be seeing some changes in your house as they get used to Severus's teaching methods. It would help if you could help quell the rumor mill. No one deserves to be discussed and torn apart," he said.

McGonagall agreed and gathered herself to leave. Dumbledore saw here to the door, closing it firmly behind the witch. He leaned against it trying to calm down. He knew change was difficult, but this was nearly impossible. He wondered if McGonagall would really help or if he'd only given her more ammunition for discussion. Pushing away, the Headmaster went to check on his Potions Master.


	8. A Promise to be Better 8

A Promise to be Better 8

Author: Raven Dancer

disclaimer: All characters belong to J.K. Rowling except for the Drs. Barnes and Beryl. I receive no monetary compensation for these works.

As Snape pushed off from the door jamb he decided he'd do much better closer to the ground. In his present location, standing, there was a bigger probability of falling flat on his face. He sank rather ungracefully down and crawled the last couple feet to the bed, electing to sit on the floor. Although he was sure McGonagall was not going to come in and check on him, he did not want to lie on the Headmaster's bed just on the off-chance she did.

Movement at the door caught his attention and he looked up as Barnes came into the room closing the door firmly behind him. He quickly crossed the room and sat near the dizzy wizard.

"All right?" the Healer asked.

"Been better. Still spinning," Snape allowed.

"I think some food will help that. You're going to have to eat a little more. Your body would have a hard time functioning on the starvation diet you're on even without the stress," Barnes folded his legs comfortably. A clatter of pottery announced the arrival of Beryl. Weighted down the house elf no longer bounced, but his ears flapped happily as he bore the large tray towards them.

"Doctor Barnes wants his tea on the floor?" the elf asked curiously. Barnes nodded and waved him over helping the tray lower to the ground.

"Earl Gray tea, sliced fruit and cheese, crackers, breads, jam, sugar, honey, sliced lemon and cream," the elf recited, pouring out two large mugs of hot tea. Barnes added sugar to Snape's mug and passed it over to him. Some sugar and cream splashed into his own mug.

"Thank you, Beryl, it looks very tasty," Barnes said d£elighting the elf. He bounced away leaving the two wizards to themselves. Continuing to be the host, Barnes put cheese and sliced apple on a small plate and balanced it on Snape's lap.

"I suppose this is a hint?" he asked, lip slightly curled.

"No, it's rather a blatant command," Barnes replied, taking a bite of pear. His companion sighed, then stacked cheese on apple and brought it to his mouth, biting delicately through the layers. The tartness of the fruit mellowed by the cheese. Crackers floated over and arranged themselves on the plate.

Again the doctor coaxed food into Snape, a few bites at a time. Between the tea and snack the wizard began to feel better, the dizziness diminishing.

"I'm sorry the potion didn't set too well with you, Severus," Barnes began, "It affects people differently."

"Oh, it probably gave you some good note-taking," the Potions Master said, sipping the tea.

"Hmm, 'subject asleep; subject still sleeping; subject asleep.' Yes, very exciting notes to be sure!" Barnes teased.

"Subject wakes confused and dizzy. Subject curls up in Headmaster's lap. Subject pitches face first on carpet," Snape muttered.

"You know, I didn't get that all down. Do you mind if we try it again?" the Healer continued to tease gently. Snape looked at him with a small, tired smile. At least he trusted Barnes and didn't worry about offending him. Snape still worried he was encroaching on the Headmaster's domain as well as causing problems with the staff. That gossip wasn't only about the Potions Master; somehow he knew they'd be speculating about what he was doing in the bedroom with both the Healer and the Headmaster. Barnes was easy to figure; exactly what Dumbledore was doing was wide open. Snape didn't want the older wizard's reputation stained in the least and twisted uncomfortably on the rug nearly spilling his plate.

"Severus?" Barnes prompted as he moved the plate to the floor.

"Just thinking," Snape managed evenly.

"About what?" Barnes followed.

"Mostly about Albus," Snape said. Again he dropped into silence.

"What about Albus?" Barnes was good at prying.

"It just that I shouldn't be here. In his rooms. I'm use to

people gossiping about me after all, they've been doing

it for years. I don't have to worry about a reputation. But

Albus...," he trailed off ashamed. Barnes knew Snape really wasn't used to the gossip, that it cut him deeply.

"But Albus shouldn't have to suffer?" he supplied helpfully.

"He shouldn't have his name dragged about. I can just

imagine what they'd say, about him and me. He doesn't

deserve that, not after all he's done for this world," tea was set down, the bit of a snack forgotten as the Potions Master pulled his knees up.

"So, you think they're going to ruin his reputation?" Barnes pursued carefully, moving his own things aside so he could get closer to the depressed wizard.

"I don't think they can ruin it. I just don't want to disappoint

him," arms slowly encircled the knees, head lowering to rest thereon. The implication of his own unworthiness.

"You don't disappoint him, Severus. He's very proud of you, trust me. Trust Albus!" the Healer now was next to Snape and put a hand on his shoulder, pouring a little energy into him.

"Albus has told me that; I can't seem to believe him," he said very quietly. "I fell apart. I couldn't control myself. I hurt some of the students. He should just sack me." If he could pull into himself anymore he'd wink out of existence. The Healer leaned close, speaking firmly.

"You had come back from a series of progressively worse meetings with Lucius Malfoy, Wormtail and finally Voldemort himself. Yoru were beaten and cursed repeatedly. You debased yourself getting at the least a conditional acceptance by Malfoy. You still don't know if Voldemort believes you or at the very least finds you useful for his purposes. And you wonder why you lost control?"

Barnes gently moved his hand over Snape's back comforting the tense muscles. Actually, the doctor was rather surprised the wizard had not snapped totally. The cruciatus curse had been used in excess and it had taken days to soothe the fried nerve endings. It bespoke a very strong mind being able to withstand the torture.

All because Dumbledore asked him. Dumbledore needed him to at least try. Snape would sacrifice himself to get Voldemort or at least get information back to Dumbledore to help destroy Voldemort. In fact, the degree to which Snape loved the Headmaster and the Headmaster loved Snape made Barnes pause and wonder briefly why they hadn't gone that last step.

He shook the thought off quickly. Love did not automatically equate with sex no matter what the gossipers wanted to think. Both men would die for one another, go through hell for one another, hold each other when the pain became too great to bear alone. Given the magnitude of the threat, the very real pain, their relationship would have to be greater.

"Albus knows what you've suffered through, Severus. Knows and loves you. He knows you are a good man placed in an unfathomable situation. Don't worry about disappointing him, you can't." Barnes carefully pushed on Snape getting him to turn away from him.

"Let me work on that back of yours, Severus. You'll feel better," and he began kneading on over-stretched, rigid muscles with strong fin0gers and a judicious application of warmth. Snape moaned as each muscle gave up and went limp.

Calmed, Barnes pulled the Potions Master back against him. He picked up a piece of pear and offered it to him.

"I really can feed myself, Barnes," Snape weakly protested.

"Humor me, I need to work on my bedside manner," the Healer pressed and his patient accepted the fruit. Slowly, so as not to startle or jar Snape, Barnes moved food close to hand as he recline the wizard a little more. It was dim in the room, the slight breeze hinted of rain. Snape seemed to accept the closeness and allow the Healer to take over. After a few more minutes the Potions Master was snugged against his shoulder whispering about Longbottom and Eckels and how he was trying to let them be children. He was about to sink into why he never could be a child when the door opened spilling warm, friendly light across the room.

"Severus? Jeffrey?" the Headmaster called quietly. Snape immediately sat up thinking McGonagall would follow. Barnes sighed and patted his knee before answering.

"Tea, party of two, on the floor next to the bed," he answered. Some lights were waved on and the atmosphere of intimate trust lessened considerably. Snape watched the door warily.

"Just me, gentlemen. Professor McGonagall has gone down to her office and eventually dinner," Dumbledore reported. He did not really feel like sitting on the floor and opted for a chair, moving it near the two men.

"Feeling better, Severus?" he asked, watching the wizard's face relax after the announcement about the witch.

"Yes, I'm notk dizzy anymore. Although I've been informed there are other potions to test out," he grumbled. Barnes smiled

"Others, but no more tonight. I'll give you some of the same medicine you had last night. You slept quite well," he said. Snape tacitly agreed, nodding.

"It's nearly dinner, Jeffrey. I was thinking of going down to eat, more to make an appearance than anything else," Dumbledore began, trying to determine what else would be happening.

"That's a good idea, Headmaster. While you're to dinner maybe Severus and I will go down to his rooms to secure some fresh clothing," Barnes watched Snape carefully for any reactions. "We just snacked, so I think we'll eat dinner up here in an hour or two," he finished. Snape nodded in agreement.

"I need to go to my rooms if only to pick up the major debris," the Potions Master said quietly.

"Actually, the major debris was removed," Barnes said. He wanted Snape to feel good about Lupin's help, but he was a bit unsure how the wizard was going to feel about the DADA Professor seeing his destruction.

"You two didn't need to do that," Snape managed.

"We didn't, Severus. Remus saw to it. He left a note on your table. You'll see it when you go down," Dumbledore said as carefully as one would talk to a skittery colt. A mix of emotions passed over the ill wizard's face. None, at least, was anger, but a lot of shame and despair.

"He hasn't told anyone else, if that's your worry, Severus," Dumbledore added. "I spoke with him at lunch and he was very specific about that. He even told Filch he was paying you back for making his wolfsbane potion when he went searching for new chairs."

"New chairs?" Snape nearly squeaked.

"Well, new used chairs for your table, nothing fancy," the Headmaster soothed. The Potions Master was very quiet, trying to digest the information. Lupin had cleaned his wreckage up but didn't tell anyone but Albus. He wanted to be able to trust the DADA professor but he couldn't get his mind to fully grasp the concept. He felt Barnes' hand on his back once more running gentle circles. His concentration slipped and he leaned against the Healer.

"Ok?" the doctor asked quietly.

"I'm just tired," Snape said not looking at either man. He had no pride left as he hid his face against the Healer's shoulder. Barnes allowed him to rest there, gathering his scattered resolve while the Headmaster cleaned up for dinner. After a few minutes Snape carefully sat up again.

"I think I'm ready to go now," he said, looking at Barnes. The Healer was happy to gain eye contact and smiled encouragingly.

"Let's get on a robe and we'll be off," the Healer said.


	9. A Promise to be Better 9

A Promise to be Better 9

Author: Raven Dancer

disclaimer: All characters belong to J.K. Rowling except for the Drs. Barnes and Beryl. I receive no monetary compensation for these works.

Summary: After a good night's sleep and another of Barnes' potions, Snape tutors Neville and Hermione.

Snape had walked about his rooms just looking at the chairs, the dry herbs, the note. He rearranged a few potions bottles that were on the shelf. Tugged on the blanket on the back of the couch. Barnes sat in a chair reading a book pretending to be disinterested.

Finally the Potions Master disappeared into the bedroom. Using a listening charm Barnes closely monitored the scraping of drawers and the closet being opened. Hangers clattered quietly as clothing softly whispered. Snape then moved into his washroom, retrieving a bottle of shampoo.

Returning to the main room, he went to his cupboards and added several ingredients to the bottle. "I thought I'd dye my hair all one color," Snape said by way of explanation.

"Ah, yes. Some peroxide? Going to go blonde on us, Severus?" Barnes asked with great innocence. Snape just sneered. Pocketing the bottle the Potions Master picked up his clothes and indicated he was ready to go.

They met no one on the return trip. The tired wizard put his things into the Headmaster's bedroom then sat near the Healer by the fire.

"I have to tutor two students tomorrow afternoon, Jeffrey," Snape had said, "so if possible could we try the next potion early on? I'd like to work with Longbottom and Granger."

Assured that it would be no problem, Barnes suggested dinner. Snape managed to eat enough to satisfy the doctor then showered. When he returned to make his goodnights the Healer noted his hair was uniformly black again. Wishing him good dreams, Snape went into the bedroom.

He lie silently under the covers, his mind racing over all the problems he'd caused, unable to sleep. He énoted the door was slightly open; the Healer checked on him several times. Snape figured he hadn't tricked the wizard at all, but at least Barnes was giving him time to be alone.

Lying there he could hear the door open and Dumbledore returning. Soft voices, no way to discern what was being said. He really didn't want to know, to be honest. He curled up on his side around a pillow. The evening's potion was starting to work; thoughts stopped racing, but sleep didn't come.

More movement as the door opened and a light came on. He listened to someone, probably the Headmaster, opening drawers and closet, clothing being shrugged off and slipped on. Another person entered the room and he felt a weight on the side of the bed, then a curious hand touched his hair.

"Playing opossum, Severus?" the mischievous tone in Dumbledore's voice caused a small smile.

"No," Snape whispered back, "just resting." Affectionate tug on his hair. Then covers opened letting in the cold air. After a moment another weight behind him, another body.

Snape idly wondered about the sleeping arrangement. He'd slept with Albus before, especially when he was younger and returning from a mission. The older man had monitored his dreams, sheltering him from the terror. Later, as Voldemort grew more insane, Dumbledore would soothe nerves damaged by curses.

As far as the doctor being there, Snape knew that wizarding healers would sleep with their patients to continue taking care of them. A good healer could continue treatment throughout the night. There was nothing strange about sleeping with Barnes, then, either.

Maybe it was because both men were sleeping with him. He considered feeling guilty, or ashamed, of creating the situation, of needing both wizards just to get through the night (and day). He was glad of the potion he'd taken. He could no longer concentrate on his emotional upheaval.

Once more snugged between the two wizards, Snape drifted into sleep feeling like a storm-tossed ship finally in safe harbour. He slept the night waking when Dumbledore called him to breakfast. Not particularly hungry, the Potions Master forced down a small bowl of oatmeal, grumbling when Barnes added fresh milk and some sugar to sweeten it. Snape actually liked hot cereal fixed this way, but didn't feel he deserved the treat.

The Healer mixed a new potion in a cup of apricot juice. Snape thinned the thick liquid with a little water, lip curling at the texture.

*Mental note #24, no vicid juice* Barnes thought. The Saturday potion made Snape very thirsty and listless for the bulk of the morning and early afternoon. What appetite there had been was wiped out and it was difficult to get the Potions Master to eat anything.

"Well, cross that one off, too," Barnes muttered to the Headmaster sitting across the desk, watching Snape stand at the open window staring blankly out over the brilliant fall day. The cold breeze ruffled his hair as he shifted to wrap his arms around himself.

"Exactly what are you looking for, Jeffrey?" Dumbledore asked, shuffling the ever-present parchments about.

"Well, usually an anti-anxiety potion will relieve the physical manifestations of stress: poor stomach, jittery nerves, rigid muscles, and so on. He's just sensitive," Barnes sighed. "You'd think someone who could withstand the cruciatus curse as long as he can would tolerate these potions better."

Dumbledore looked up at the silent wizard. "He withstands them by being so in-control. The potions removes his ability to control himself," the Headmaster pointed out. "Will he be able to tutor his students or should I arrange a different time?" the older man continued.

"He'll be ready. This potion's very nearly worn off," he watched as Snape moved away from the window and poured a cup of hot tea. He appeared to notice the tray of breads and cookies and selected one to dunk into the cup.

"See? Appetite's picking up," Barnes nodded towards the Potions Master.

"Good thing, it's nearly two and I don't think he's had more than the cereal you forced down him earlier," Dumbledore stopped moving the various messages and stretched. With a smooth sweep he stood and crossed over to his friend.

"Severus? Feel like some lunch now?" Dumbledore asked as he poured tea out for himself. Snape looked at the older man as if wondering where he'd come from, then glanced across the room as Barnes began to stand up.

"I can just eat this," he said quietly, "no trouble."

"I'd like some soup about now. The wind is fresh," the Headmaster shivered slightly. Snape nodded in agreement and turned to push the window mostly closed. Dobby was summoned and soon a pot of barley soup sat on the table with warm bread and iced juice.

Snape's hands were cold to the touch Dumbledore noticed as he passed bread. He wondered if the wizard was having trouble keeping warm on top of the other side-effects. Standing in the cold window in leggings and a shirt was not the best thing given how worn down he was. At least the soup would be warming. He made sure to ladle plenty of rich, fragrant broth into the bowl before setting it in front of Snape.

Barnes stood next to the table. "I am going back to the clinic for a few hours," the Healer said. "I want to touch base with my dad and get a couple of things."

"More potions?" Snape asked lightly, bringing a spoonful of steaming liquid to his nose to smell, then opened his mouth to taste.

"That and I need to pick up some reference literature to read for next week. I have a conference to attend Thursday in Glasgow, I'm sitting on a panel," the Healer explained.

"If you leave the potion for Severus," Dumbledore offered, "you could stay in town tonight." Barnes looked at the two men. It would make it much easier for him to stay in town and get a few things done. Snape appeared to be holding his own and the Headmaster was quite capable of sending for him if needed.

"I think I will, now that you offer," the Healer replied. He rummaged through his bag getting out the evening potion.

"I'll walk you down to the dungeons, Severus, then check on a few things while you're working," Dumbledore glanced over at the wizard eating his soup with more interest now. He nodded his agreement. More bread was nudged over to him and he selected a piece, tearing it so it could be dipped into the broth.

With the potion set on the table for later Barnes headed out the door and was off to Hogsmeade. Dumbledore surreptitiously watched the wizard eat the soup. He wanted Snape to fill himself, to build up his strength. Voldemort wasn't finished with testing Snape, not by half. The few tasks he'd been called to perform were nothing, not even much of a test of loyalty. Unfortunately, Voldemort had probably already decided he was a traitor. He was only trying to decide if Snape were of any use alive.

Such gloomy thoughts marred the Headmaster's normally peaceful countenance. Looking up the Potions Master caught the dark ruminations. He set down his spoon and folded his hands into his lap.

"Headmaster?" he queried. No response.

"Albus?" gentler this time. The older man blinked and looked at Snape.

"Yes, Severus?" he returned, flustered.

"I'd generally offer a knut for your thoughts, but I have a feeling this is one time I don't want to know," the Potions Master offered a small smile. Dumbledore held his eyes a moment, then allowed an answering smile.

"I don't believe so," he answered, reaching for the pot. Fresh soup was ladled into Snape's bowl. "A little more soup, Severus? Tutoring is sure to be hard work," a shy smile as Snape returned to eating the warm broth. Dumbledore stood and turned slightly, waving a blanket off the couch. This was carefully tucked around the younger man's shoulders and back, judiciously warmed by a small charm. A shiver passed through his body, accepting the warmth.

"Thank you," Snape said.

"Your welcome. I feel much warmer now," Dumbledore teased, sitting back down in his seat. He took some soup and bread, keeping his friend company.

Together they walked through the mostly empty hallways. Staff was off for the weekend, students were not yet back from town or out enjoying the last of a cold autumn day. Snape opened the lab door waving on lights.

"I think some bright paint, maybe yellow? To perk up this room," Dumbledore started in on an old joke.

"Albus," growled the Potions Master.

"Maybe a window, about there," he waved his hand creating a delightful window full of summer sunlight.

"This is a dungeon," grumbled the younger man, waving his hand. The gray stone returned, now sporting manacles and chains.

"New discipline technique, Professor?" the Headmaster countered, waving fresh flowers in the links. The greenery spruced up the dismal wall. Snape only snorted, leaving the latest handiwork in place for the moment. He started to rummage through his desk intent on finding the recipe he'd copied for Longbottom. This was secured.

"You don't have to hang around, Headmaster," Snape said as politely as possible.

"I don't intend to, Severus. I do need to check on a few rooms this afternoon. I'll be back before six," he smiled and started to leave the room. He noticed the wall slowly melting back to its original stone. He flicked his fingers, casting a timed charm. He loved getting in the last jab.

Snape was aware of the Headmaster's little coup d' grace, but decided to let it go for now. It was an old game, one they'd engaged in many years ago when tensions were running high. It made him feel better. Albus remembered.

A few minutes later a scuffle at the door coupled with a sharp whisper announced the coming of his tutoring students. Hermione Granger came in first pulling on a reluctant Neville Longbottom. Looking up from his desk, faced tooled in coolness, he watched them come into the room and towards his desk.

"Well, a few minutes past," he remarked.

"S-sorry," began Longbottom.

"Professor McGonagall stopped us," Granger added. Snape didn't quite contain the flash of anger that crossed his face. But at the least he did not act on it. He dismissed their comments with a wave of his hand and stood, gathering the note for the boy.

"Here, Longbottom. We'll pull two cauldrons together. You may work on this table. Miss Granger will work on the other. I," he said with a sneering smile, "will sit here where I can watch you while I review Granger's notes." Snape pulled a chair which put him close to Neville but nearest to Hermione. He handed the recipe to her who in turn handed it to the boy.

"Line up all the ingredients first, Neville," Hermione said quietly, "then we'll check them before you start brewing. If you need any thing, Longbottom, the student cupboard is unlocked," Snape added in his most unpressing tones. He turned his full attention on the young witch pulling books and parchment out of her school sack.

"Brought half the library, Ms. Granger?" the Potions Master said with a hint of sarcasm. She Looked at him, sizing him up, then smirked.

"Oh no, sir. Just the reference section," she replied in kind and was rewarded by a very small smile. She set out her quill and ink bottle. Snape was amused by her careful set-up.

"And what will we be brewing today?" he asked.

"I wanted to brew a potion to remove warts," she said. The Potions Master looked at her curiously, but did not ask. Hermione squirmed only a little.

"My father. He's a dentist. That's a muggle that takes care of people's teeth. He's always had problems with warts on his hands," she explained.

"But warts aren't contagious," Snape began.

"I know that, you know that, but his customers don't really believe it. Dad gets a little embarrassed when some of his clients tease him," she blushed slightly as she continued. Snape raised a dismissive hand.

"I understand," he ended the confession. "Show me which potions you've found."

So while Neville quietly sliced and shredded and prepared under the quietly observant eyes of the Professor, Hermione discussed three different potions she'd discovered and the relative merits of each. Two of the three were easily made from items in the students' stores and available in Hogsmeade. Glancing over the various ingredients the witch had pulled out she was prepared to work on either one.

The third potion, by far the most complicated of the three, required ingredients that were difficult to come by. Unless you were a Potions Master with a comprehensive store room. By asking questions Snape was able to lead Hermione through the three potions and the relative merits of each.

"How long have these warts been a problem?" he pursued.

"As long as I can remember," she said.

"Has he tried other potions?" he asked. She smiled, suppressing a laugh.

"Just muggle stuff, some from the doctor, some from the store," she managed to get out. Snape mulled it over. "Well, then, I suggest you make the third potion. If he's tried the basic muggle stuff then the weaker potions won't be much different," he decided. The witch sighed and looked a bit depressed.

"I'll have to find a source for some of these ingredients," she lamented.

"Oh, really," Snape muttered, stood and walked into his office. He was gone a few minutes while Hermione looked over Neville's ingredients. She showed him how to shave the licorice root thinner. When the Professor returned he set several glass jars down on the table before moving to look over the potion about to be brewed.

"Much better, Longbottom. It will help you keeping your ingredients lined up like this. How are you going to proceed?" Snape asked as calmly as he could. He didn't feel like having a cold shower this afternoon. After stuttering a bit Neville referred to his recipe and explained how he would start the water base and what he'd add first. Nodding in agreement, the Potions Master sat back down by Hermione.

"There are the things you'll need. This potion will require at least two periods to prepare and brew. Three periods to be safe. You can get everything cut up today," he said. Hermione smiled broadly.

"Maybe I can get it done by his birthday," she said. Snape sneered at her.

"A guarantee with Longbottom, here," and Neville blushed. He was stirring thGe simmering mixture carefully, having just added the lemon grass.

"I guess I'll be having Saturday tutoring for a little while," he said weakly. Both Hermione and Snape grinned. Shaking himself, Neville grinned back.

"like duh," the boy chuckled. The witch laughed but Snape looked at him quizzically.

"'like duh'?" he repeated, plainly confused. Hermione launched into an informative mini-lecture on muggle phrases. 'No brainer' was a little more understandable. The Professor just lifted his eyebrow.

"Meaning, Mr. Longbottom, you, I and Ms. Granger are going to become well-acquainted between now and Christmas break," but the sneer was gone and the face nearly kind. "Don't worry too much, though. I have a few other students that will be joining us. You may feel hopeless about potions, Neville, but be assured, you are not the only one," Snape reached over for a jar and opened it, returning to the potion at hand.

"Devil's tongue. You'll need to use a mortar and pestle to make a fine powder," and he began to instruct the eager girl in the fine arts of potion brewing.

Dumbledore leaned back in the chair. He'd crept in a few minutes before just to check up on the trio. It pleased him that Snape was working easily with the children. It would help the Potions Master a great deal having this success. Neville's potion was sure to be correct at the rate he was going.

Snape stood again and returned to his office. He returned this time with a small box of new jars. Standing over Hermione he handed her a black marker. She looked up at him with a questioning face.

"Oh, it's a muggle pen. The ink is permanent. It's much easier to writeI on the plastic lid than dragging out the labels, quills and ink. The apothecary in Diagon Alley had marked her jars with one and I thought it was a good idea," Snape admitted.

"You mean a muggle actually had a good idea?" a sarcastic voice sounded from the doorway. Minerva McGonagall stepped in. "Really, Severus, you shock me," her hard eyes swept around the room. Everything seemed in order. Neither child seemed too upset.

Snape's stomach dropped. He had not expected any visitors (except for the Headmaster who had already intimated he'd be wandering back). The jars clinked together in the box and Hermione reached up to take them from him. Snape stepped away from her and retreated to the other side of the table.

"I'm not out to shock anyone, McGonagall. I'm only trying to teach Miss Granger proper potion brewing," his face lost the animation and steeled into blandness. It bothered Neville especially, but he struggled not to mess up the fever potion.

"You're doing fine, Longbottom," Snape said quietly. "Just slide in the sliced comfrey root. That's right, no splashing." Neville managed to follow the direction and resumed stirring. Hermione quietly began printing ingredient names on the jars while the Transfiguration teacher moved down to join them.

The next thirty minutes were not as pleasant as the first hour. McGonagall said nothing but watched everything. Snape felt as if he had to weigh every word he uttered. Neville was nearing his breaking point. Finally the boy bumped into the table causing the cauldron to wobble dangerously.

Snape was up in a flash, catching the hot cauldron and righting it. Liquid splashed up and burned his hand but he managed to quell his exclamation of pain.

"It's ok, Longbottom," he managed, "just take it easy! Your potion is fine so far!" Walking over to the large sink he ran ice cold water over the burn. When he turned he saw McGonagall's deep disapproval. His temper flared.

"You wish to say something, Professor?" he sneered at the older witch. She glared harshly apparently wanting to say quite a lot but was hampered by the students.

"Only that the boy is trying. There's no reason to berate him," she ground out. Hermione looked over at Neville, confused. Berate? Neville just shrugged. If Snape was berating him he'd missed it.

"Minerva," Snape once more tried to tone down his anger. "Neville is doing just fine. He bumped the table. It's not a big problem."

"But you're saying he's still a problem," McGonagall tried twisting Snape's words. He sank down onto his chair.

"Professor," Hermione picked up quickly, "he didn't say anything about Neville being a problem. He said he was doing fine."

Bad move. Now the woman glared at Hermione. "Miss Granger, attend to your work," she snapped.

"Minerva, I wasn't implying Neville was a problem," Snape gave another try. His stomach hurt. This was ridiculous!

"Exactly what did you say, Snape? I don't seem to have heard it correctly," McGonagall's voice was dripping with disgust.

"I believe he said that Neville was doing fine," Dumbledore's rich voice broke into the rapidly declining conversation. He was sitting near the back of the room watching the confrontation. He wanted to blast the witch across the room, but that would be a poor choice. His appearance surprised her greatly and she backed away from both children and Potions Master.

"Headmaster, I didn't hear you come in," McGonagall said weakly.

"I've been in and out," Dumbledore said with his most disarming smile. "Mostly in," and the smile brightened considerably. Snape moved to hide his burn, turning his attention to Longbottom.

"You're nearly finished, Longbottom. What's the next step?" the Potions Master quietly prompted.

"Just the licorice. Then stir and simmer for 10 minutes," Neville glanced at the list one last time. Snape nodded and sat back, tired. Dumbledore had been right, tutoring was hard work. He glanced across at the younger witch and found her staring thoughtfully at him.

"Is everything all right, Ms. Granger?" he asked, returning her scrutiny. Ingredients were lying untended. Nodding her head she began to fill a jar.

"Yes, Professor. Actually, I was wondering how bad that burn was," her comment pulled Dumbledore's attention away from McGonagall. He glanced at the Potions Master who was trying to ignore his questioning glance.

"I'll attend to it later," Snape tried to deflect both. Neville finished stirring and moved around to the wizard. "Let me see it; Professor Sprout taught me a healing spell last week when one of the mother-in-law tongues lashed me," he felt bold with the information. Herbology was the one thing he was very good at. If Professor Sprout taught him something he remembered it. Grumbling, Snape held out the damaged hand. The splash had burned the back of the hand including part of the wrist. It had blistered in places.

Neville nearly dropped back knowing he'd caused this injury. But Snape didn't appear angry or condemning. Plus the Headmaster was nearby in case something went wrong. He gently put one hand underneath, as support, as Sprout had shown him then carefully brought the other hand over the wound. He murmured the charm, concentrating hard.

The coolness embraced the burn, soothing the pain. Snape watched the boy speak the spell, putting effort in the casting. He knew the charm, it was not particularly difficult, yet it was not easy for a beginner either. Longbottom impressed him. He was a talented wizard growing into his own right. The blistering receded and only red skin marked the burn.

"Thank you Neville," Snape smiled at the young wizard. The boy smiled wide at his accomplishment before blushing slightly. He had done it!

"I will have to thank Louise for teaching you the charm, too," the Professor continued. The boy's eyes widened. "Now back to the potion, child. It's about time to bottle it, I think," he shooed him away. Neville scurried around the table to check his brew and then back to the supply cupboard for bottles. Hermione continued to put her prepared ingredients into jars, then set them back into the small box. All three ignored McGonagall and Dumbledore, intent on their projects.

The Transfigurations Professor moved away from the tables, back to where the Headmaster sat. She was unhappy with being found is such an unfavorable light. She was sure Snape was up to something, but what it was she couldn't tell. For the time being he held the Headmaster's favor and he was acting much more civil. Best to acknowledge that and cut her own losses. She'd just keep an eye on the Potions Master.

"He's making good progress," the older witch said quietly to Dumbledore.

"Neville is a talented young man," came the reply.

"I was referring to Severus," she grudgingly muttered. The Headmaster smiled sweetly, refraining from comment. He made no move to offer her a chair. Nor did he seem interested in continuing a conversation.

"I need to go up to my rooms before dinner," McGonagall continued feebly.

"We'll see you in the dining hall," the older wizard said equitably


	10. A Promise to be Better 10

A Promise to be Better 10

Author: Raven Dancer

disclaimer: All characters belong to J.K. Rowling except for the Drs. Barnes and Beryl. I receive no monetary compensation for these works.

Summary: Painting by charms and elves' experiments.

Professor Snape balked at eating in the great hall. It took all of Dumbledore's persuasive powers to convince the wizard to at least come up and sit at the table. Not leaving anything to chance, the Headmaster waited while Hermione stored her jars in the office cupboard and both children gathered their work.

"We'll drop the fever potion off with Madame Pomfrey," she said, helping Neville pack the bottles in another carton. As they were leaving the wall burst into song. The timed charm animated a wonderful conifer forest scene complete with stag and birds. It was fortunate neither child dropped their things.

"Wonderful, Headmaster," Snape snarled. "A regular Bavarian Alps."

"I forgot the chalet, now didn't I," the older man teased, lifting a wand he added a small house with a cheerful facade of flowers. Snape just sighed.

"Uh, um, Headmaster?" Neville began rather startled. Hermione leaned her things against a convenient desk while she stared open mouthed at the scene.

"Just a little present for Professor Snape. I felt the dungeon needed a little sprucing up," Dumbledore replied cheerfully.

"Oh, ha ha ha. Sprucing up," Snape muttered at the pun. The Headmaster turned to the students.

"He didn't really like the summer beach scene, either," he confided in them. Hermione giggled.

"Well, I seem to recall you didn't care much for the chains and restraints" Snape retorted. Neville was now looking back and forth between both wizards in wonder. They were playing!

"I favored the desert, remember Severus?" and with a wand's stroke sand dunes complete with camels, pyramid and grand courtyard adorned the wall.

"You forgot the mummy," the younger man groused, waving his wand added one dragging it's feet across the sand.

"And the Nile," the river snaked its way across the scene sparkling wet.

"Crocodiles."

"Scorpions."

"Pharaoh."

"Servants," and a smile finally curved on Snape's mouth as several scantily-clad women carrying plates of food appeared as well as handsome bare-chested men waving palm fronds. Neville clapped his hands, delighted in the creation.

"Oh, this is fun! Teach me how to do that!" he begged both men. Hermione echoed "Yes! Teach us! This is wonderful!"

Dumbledore glanced over at Snape and smiled broadly. "Tell you what, we'll teach you the charms but they require a lot of practice to master. Professor Snape will set aside a little 'tutoring' time for you," the Headmaster smirked. "I'll even come when I can. I like creating pictures and this is such a wonderful wall!"

Seeing that the children were happy and Dumbledore was excited about teaching them, the Potions Master agreed with no complaints. The wall was 'erased' and wands were brought out. In less than thirty minutes both children could 'paint' flowers and grass.

"I think that's enough to practice on," Snape said, sitting down in a chair. "I, for one, am rather tired and maintaining the charms is draining."

"Spoilsport," Dumbledore flicked his wand, sending flowers all over Snape's robes.

"Brat!" the colorful professor retorted, waved his wand and the Headmaster's robes were animated with flying birds chirping raucously. Both children quickly hit one another with flowers.

"It wears off eventually," Snape said. "But 'finitum incantantum' works too." He cleared his robes and leaned back with a sneering smile.

"Can we show our friends?" asked Neville. Snape raised an eyebrow at Dumbledore.

"I don't see why not," the Headmaster encouraged. "Just remember that there's a time and place for it. Definitely not in the library or class!"

"Thank you!" the two chorused and left the dungeons quickly for their tower and friends.

"This will be interesting," Snape mused.

"It's just fun, Severus. We all need some fun in our lives," Dumbledore moved his wand dispatching the birds. He moved to the Potions Master and smiled warmly. Snape regarded him thoughtfully.

"I suppose we all need to eat, too," he said softly.

"Oh, yes! Let's go wash up and see what the elves have cooked for tonight!" Dumbledore held out his hand and pulled the younger wizard to his feet.

They entered the Great Hall together, moving sedately passed clusters of smiling children. There was a knot of students at the Gryffindor's table talking animatedly. Many looked up at the Potions Master as he sat down next to the Headmaster with a variety of expressions. Incredulity prime among them.

Dumbledore kept up a soothing conversation relating his teaching experiences in potions that week. He hadn't taught for many years and found he missed the work. Seeing the students through the Headmaster's eyes helped Snape. It put them in perspective with the rest of his life.

A few professors began wandering in. Saturday night was rather open, especially since so many went into Hogsmeade. Dinner was almost casual and the elves took the opportunity to try out new dishes. Tonight was an interesting casserole of rice, barley, corn and beans. Shredded cheese was on the table to sprinkle on top. Tinned fruit salad full of peaches, pears and walnuts also appeared.

"Well, this is interesting," Snape ventured. He put a couple scoops on his plate adding some cheese. Dumbledore followed suit. Water was poured before either man tried the dish. Each pushed it about a bit.

"Oh, for heaven's sake, it's just a new dish!" Dumbledore exclaimed.

"Yes, but I still remember the jalapeno-tuna surprise," Snape grumbled. Tentatively he raised the fork to his nose and sniffed. Not spicy. Sighing he took a bite. Dumbledore followed his lead and also tried a bite. Each chewed tentatively.

"Not bad," the younger wizard decided. He continued to eat. Professor Lupin slipped into the hall and sat down by Snape. He quickly began filling his plate.

"Oh joy, the house elves are experimenting again," he groaned.

"Put some cheese on top," suggested the Headmaster, "it tastes better that way."

Snape continued to eat quietly, although he was suddenly nervous with Lupin by his side. He looked back towards the student tables. The Slytherin table was rather empty although he noticed Crabbe was eating with a few of the younger students. Gryffindor seemed to have more students, he noted quite a few clustered around Hermione and Neville chatting amiably.

"Good to see you up for dinner, Severus," Lupin said quietly. Snape nearly dropped his fork. He set it down and twisted his hands into his napkin for a moment.

"The Headmaster requested I come," he managed. He felt a brush of warmth at his side as Dumbledore nudged him supportively.

"I also would like to thank you, Remus, for, uh, finding those chairs for my room," Snape got out in a normal tone. Lupin sipped at his juice and smiled slightly.

"I'm glad you liked them, Severus. You've helped me in the past and I wanted to reciprocate when I could."

Deciding talking to Lupin wasn't too stressful, Snape picked up his fork and began to eat again. He actually liked tinned peaches. You'd think after nearly subsisting on them for long stretches of time he'd hate them. Comforting was more like it. Snape pushed the set of memories back down. No need to relive that particular time in his life.

Seeing that the Potions Master was once more eating, Dumbledore picked up the teaching story. Lupin joined in, describing his third years' first meeting with a bogart. The beginning of the year was always fun, especially before the students actually got used to being surprised.

Tea came up. Pushing his mostly finished plate away Snape poured out three cups, putting one by each of his companions before settling back into his chair to sip. He was no longer listening to Dumbledore or Lupin but was watching the ceiling as the stars came out.

Lupin glanced at the Headmaster wondering what was going on. Snape was certainly distant. Dumbledore shrugged slightly and pushed his empty plate aside. He noted McGonagall had come in with Vector and were tentatively eating the elves' latest offering.

"Severus?" Dumbledore gently broke into his introspection.

"Hmmm?" Snape somewhat responded. Lupin tried.

"What are you looking at?" the DADA professor asked.

"Waiting for Orion," he answered. Both of his companions looked across the room.

"Orion?" Dumbledore asked confused. Still engrossed in the sky Snape answered,

"When I was a child I used to watch the stars come out. I always greeted Orion; he protected me." Now both wizards looked up enough to see the night sky settling on the ceiling. Major constellations were falling into place. The belt of Orion was growing brighter.

"Protected you?" Lupin encouraged, never seeing this side of the Potions Master before.

Transfixed by the stars, Snape responded, "He's always there. He never leaves me. I hated to be left alone until I discovered the night sky." Lupin glanced at Dumbledore. The older wizard looked slightly concerned, but not overly so.

"What other stars do you see, Severus?" the Headmaster prodded. Snape, comforted with his friend beside him and his friends above, began pointing out a few more clusters, oblivious to the rest of the people around him. Unfortunately, McGonagall and Vector noticed his preoccupation and glancing about quickly figured out what he was doing.

"So, Severus, want the astronomy job next?" McGonagall's bemused voice drifted over. Vector chuckled as she took another bite of her dinner.

Whatever spell the gathering night sky had held over the wizard, it was totally shattered by that voice. Even Lupin noticed the sharp jerk as he was wrenched back into reality.

"No, just a childhood hobby," Snape said dismissively and pulled himself upright.

"You didn't get into astrology, too? What do you see for me, Severus? I'm a Virgo," Vector took up the teasing. Snape squirmed uncomfortably, feeling more exposed than when he woke in Barnes' arms.

"I'm sure Sybil would be the best witch to ask," Snape managed to say. He started to push back, but Dumbledore stuck a foot under his chair, securing him in place. He poured more tea into Snape's mug and added a healthy scoop of sugar before handing it to him. Snape reluctantly accepted.

"Don't doubt your talents, Professor Snape," a wispy voice sounded from the other side of Dumbledore. Sybil Trelawny had settled in a chair and was poking through the dinner choices.

"As a third level Piscine you should be particularly gifted in seeing," she spooned the casserole on her plate and reached for the cheese.

"I was crystal-gazing and saw that the house elves had surpassed themselves with dessert tonight. I suppose one must suffer through the experiment to get to the sweets," she murmured. Lupin snorted. It was common knowledge dessert was usually superb when the elves subjected the humans with new dishes. The mint-chip ice cream whipped up after the jalapeno-tuna surprise had been particularly memorable. Rich ribbon of fudge, smooth vanilla, little chocolate cups filled with mint. It had more than made up for the 'surprise' and soothed the burning stomachs.

Trelawney effectively dissuaded Vector and McGonagall from continuing their teasing by discussing the placement of the planets and constellations, offering to do detailed readings for both witches. Dumbledore kept a straight face as he reported with sincerity the reading she had written out for him. The Divination's Professor was very pleased he remembered so much of it.

Discussing the importance of the planets' position at the moment of birth Dumbledore kept a secure hold on Snape's chair. He was not going to let the Potions Master sneak away before dessert! Especially since it was the Headmaster's favorite part of the meal.

When Trelawney finally set her fork down and reached for the tea serving dishes disappeared and the diners waited expectantly. Slowly fresh pots of tea appeared followed by plates of cookies and dishes of baked custard. Snape perked up appreciatively.

"A little custard, Severus?" Lupin asked as he pulled a warm dish towards him.

"Thank you, Remus," he replied, accepting the dessert. Sampling the dishes they quickly discovered there were several flavors.

"Pumpkin," Lupin reported.

"Lemon," Snape added.

"I have caramel," Trelawney said.

"I want the lemon," Dumbledore quickly switched his pumpkin custard with Snape. The Potions Master glared at the older man and tried to decide if it were worth it trying to get it back. He took a small taste of the custard now in front of him and decided it was just fine. Anyway, the Headmaster would more than likely best him at this point so Snape let him have his way.

The entire hall quieted as every bit of custard was consumed. Second servings actually came up and were shared by the tables. A final round of tea was poured and people began to drift back to their common rooms.

"Well, that was good," Lupin commented as he pushed back from the table. "If you'll excuse me, I need to see to my grindly-low. He was a bit upset earlier this afternoon."

Trelawney followed, wanting to return to her crystals. Snape stifled a yawn. With a small smile Dumbledore stood, finally releasing the trapped man. The Headmaster led him out of the hall.


	11. A Promise to be Better 11

A Promise to be Better 11

Author: Raven Dancer

disclaimer: All characters belong to J.K. Rowling except for the Drs. Barnes and Beryl. I receive no monetary compensation for these works.

Summary: Predictions, Potions, Punishments

"I actually was glad to see Professor Trelawney tonight," Snape commented as he followed the Headmaster into his rooms.

"Sybil does have her good points," Dumbledore agreed. He moved to the table and picked up the waiting potion packet. This was poured into a partial glass of water and mixed thoroughly. He turned and offered it to the reluctant Potions Master.

"Shouldn't I go down to my rooms to sleep," he asked, avoiding the glass for the moment. The older wizard stepped closer and put the drink in his hand then placed the other hand on his shoulder.

"What? And miss the opportunity to have a warm bed?" he patted him carefully.

"Drink, Severus. You need to sleep again tonight. You'll be back in your own bed soon enough," and Dumbledore waited until the younger wizard lifted the glass and quaffed it. A little more water was poured in; Snape expertly twirled the glass and swilled down the dregs.

"Nasty stuff. I at least try to add mint to the worst of the potions I brew," he complained. The Headmaster favored him with a smile.

"Yes, you do," he agreed. "I'm going to read through the evening mail. Why don't you go shower and relax a bit. I think there's a few books on the shelf you haven't read yet." Snape nodded and went off to the washroom.

The evening passed quietly. Dumbledore always had enough mail to keep him occupied for several hours. Snape did find a new mystery novel to read and had settled on the couch. The blanket on the back of the couch slowly worked its way down onto the reclining wizard. After awhile all pretense of reading was abandoned and Snape curled up, causing the Headmaster to pause a moment and smile indulgently before returning to his response he was crafting.

A knock at his door a little while later heralded the Divinations Professor. Strange, Trelawney rarely came out of her rooms for much. He had been surprised she'd come to dinner. Generally the witch stayed to her self, eating in her rooms. Being around the general rabble interfered with her 'inner eye'.

Dumbledore greeted her, glancing at the couch to see if Snape would exclude himself again that night. When the wizard did not get up he cast a shielding charm for Trelawney's privacy. She glanced at the couch, noting the dozing man.

"That explains part of my vision," she said quietly, sitting down next to the large desk.

"You had a vision, Sybil?" Dumbledore asked. He knew most of the staff dismissed her as a sham, but truth be told the seer had been near the mark on many occasions. Others chalked it up to coincidence or luck. Dumbledore had lived too long; Trelawney had some ability but it was not always focused.

"I would have dismissed it as too much sweets," she said with a wry smile, "but the custard was quite mild." The witch knew about the scorn and disbelief. She didn't care about what the others thought. The Headmaster had always listened and appreciated her expertise. He even helped perpetuate the story she predicted student deaths yearly to keep them in line.

She'd been dead-on about Cedric. Pity it'd been shoved aside because she'd also been predicting Harry's death to try to keep him from being foolish. The two of them had a very long talk after that incident. She had promised to be more forthright with the Headmaster at all times.

"I went back to my rooms after dinner and was amusing myself by reading my tarot cards. I was simply casting on McGonagall and Vector to see how the cards landed," Trelawney settled more fully in the chair. She seemed to be hunkering down for the duration.

"I threw a set for you, Albus. Very enlightening. You seem to have acquired a 'child' very recently," he had looked a bit shocked at that and she smiled having hit a target.

"I won't bore you with details, but suffice to say I cast a hand for Professor Snape as well. It was very dark; a grim seems to be in his near future. Although his death is not really certain. There also seems to be a choice to be made at the feet of a powerful or great man," she glanced over at the wizard in question as he turned over and snugged into his pillow.

"It wasn't the choice that worries me, Albus. It's this grim. There's treachery, someone or something is going to harm him somehow. I tried crystal gazing, but it was all foggy. I couldn't get beyond it," she said almost apologetically.

"Do you need help focusing? I could give you a hand," he offered.

"No, no. It's just too elusive. I wanted to tell you now, though, because I know some of the staff has been bothering the professor lately. It didn't take the gift of sight to see McGonagall is still upset with him," she moved forward as to make ready to leave.

"Seeing that McGonagall's always presented herself as a cat in my visions, I doubt greatly she is the grim itself. But I can't discount one of the other staff being involved. It also didn't appear to be Remus, although I felt he was near to the problem somehow. Perhaps a solution? I'm not clear on it, Headmaster." The Divinations Professor stood up. "I must be to bed. It is late and seeing can be so draining." Dumbledore rose also, moving around the desk he walked her to the door.

"Thank you, Sybil. I most certainly will keep this in mind. Please come see me if you have any other insights," he held the door as she left, whispering a soft 'goodnight' she went down the stairs.

Divinations was at best an imprecise magic. At worst, it was nothing but a hoax. Dumbledore waved the shielding charm aside and moved to the couch. It was late and he too was tired. He just wanted to pick up his bed warmer before retiring.

Snape slept deeply. His dreams as unremarkable as a lazy summer's day. Warmth, softness, being close to a wooly goat.

Wooly goat? Snape pulled himself up through the layers of sleep opening his eyes to a different ceiling. Not his. He glanced about a bit, noting closet, bureau and door. The Headmaster's bedroom. That was ok, he'd slept here before.

The 'goat' of course, was the Headmaster himself, snugged into the warmth of his side breathing softly in sleep. Snape smiled indulgently, enjoying the closeness. He felt absolutely safe here, and with Dumbledore completely accepted. Sighing, he closed his eyes and thought about falling back asleep.

"You waking up, Severus?" the wooly Cgoat asked. His eyes flew open again. Goats couldn't talk! He'd slipped right back into the same summer dream.

"I am now," Snape said, stretching.

"Good. I'd like to get up na-a-a-a-ow," the older man teased, mimicking a goat's bleating.

"Oh, for the gods sake, can you even read my dreams?" Snape was startled, staring at the Headmaster as he got out of bed.

"Normally, no. But you were murmuring something about an itchy goat," Dumbledore chortled. "It wasn't a far stretch to figure it out. Order up some tea," and he disappeared into the washroom.

Snape pushed up rubbing his face. Ok, he may feel safe from Voldemort and the monstrous dreams that plagued him, but he certainly wasn't safe from his mentor's teasing. He reached over for the bell on the bed stand and rang for a house elf.

Dobby didn't so much bounce as ricochet when he popped into the room. The mirror rattled on the wall, a near miss from the careening elf.

"Professor Snape is awake! Professor Snape wants breakfast!" the elf fairly shouted in his glee. Snape stared in incredulity. The creatures must subsist on pure caffeine and sugar for all he could figure out.

"The Headmaster would like his morning tea, Dobby," he told the creature as it alighted on the bed crouching near him.

"Does Professor Snape wants his morning tea? Professor Snape wants his breakfast?" the elf smiled, nodding his head vigorously. It was nearly disturbing watching the bouncing eyeballs and teeth.

"Yes, Professor Sna, I mean, Yes, I would like some tea and breakfast. Whatever you'd fetch for the Headmaster will be fine," he managed to get out. If anything the elf became more excited.

"The Headmaster's Breakfast Tea?" the elf started to bounce a bit. Snape had trouble remaining on the bed as it pitched up and down.

"Yes, yes. Fetch the Headmaster's Breakfast Tea," he waved his hand in a shooing motion.

"Dobby will fetch the Headmaster's Breakfast Tea. Beryl will help fetch the Headmaster's Breakfast Tea. Dobby and Beryl will set the Headmaster's Breakfast Tea on the Headmaster's dining table," and the house elf launched itself off the bed with a sharp crack and disappeared.

Snape had a very bad feeling about this. He didn't know exactly what he had ordered, but it probably included carved ice sculptures and jugglers. He looked at the door wondering if he could just slink out and hide downstairs.

"Are you all right, Severus?" the Dumbledore's voice broke into his worry. "You ordered tea, right?"

"I think I did. Dobby was rather, uh, animated," Snape said.

"Well, as long as you didn't specify the breakfast tea," Dumbledore muttered as he flipped through his closet. Snape slowly pulled the covers up over his head. The Headmaster glanced over at him.

"Severus? What did you order?" he queried.

"The Headmaster's Breakfast Tea," he said very softly as he covered his head with the pillows and disappeared from view.

"Severus, don't whisper. I can't hear you," Dumbledore called as he pulled on a clean robe. Snape poked his head out briefly.

"The Headmaster's Breakfast Tea," the Potions Master said very slowly and distinctly before re-covering his head. Why did he get the impression this was a Very Bad Thing?

The muffled curse reinforced his impression.

Dumbledore rubbed his temples. Wonderful. The elves would soon be setting out breakfast for him. An extravaganza of food and drink. He'd learned the hard way not to order the headmaster's breakfast tea many years ago. After many slips. Who knew elves could be so devious?

He looked back at the bed thinking the professor would have gotten up. He noted the large lump hiding in the bed. Why the hell was he buried? The Headmaster, annoyed, started to stomp over to the bed to drag the wizard out. As he came closer he noted the lump was slightly shaking. Not laughter, more like trembling.

Damn. He had been teasing Snape and then the blunder about ordering tea. Cursing had not helped ease any tension, now had it? The Potions Master seemed just fine most of the time, perhaps subdued, but Dumbledore had forgotten he was near his breaking point in his annoyance over the tea order. He sat down carefully and attempted to pull back the covers.

"Severus, come out. You can't possibly be getting enough air under all that bedding," the covers snugged tighter.

"Sorry," the muffled voice replied, "sorry."

"Child," Dumbledore tried that tack, managing to remove the pillow.

"Child, it's ok. You've done nothing wrong," the older man carefully worked at the covers finally exposing Snape's head which was firmly facing away from him.

"I'm sorry, Albus. I didn't know what to do. Dobby kept bouncing about and, and," Snape drew in a long ragged breath as he tried to control himself. *I will not cry over something as stupid as this he told himself firmly.

"Severus, it's fine. Dobby can be overwhelming first thing in the morning. He must have asked you specifically about my tea, didn't he?" Dumbledore ran a soothing hand over the rigid back. No answer.

"Child, if I could count the times those house elves have tricked me into asking for the Headmaster's Breakfast Tea or the Headmaster's Afternoon Tea, there wouldn't be enough fingers and toes in the Slytherins' tower to count on. They seem to delight in getting someone to order it for me, too. I'm not upset with you at all," now the Headmaster added a little warm energy to the gentle circles. Snape slowly drew his knees up in a slight fetal position. The massage continued as muscles slowly loosened up.

"I thought house elves were suppose to serve," Snape finally managed.

"Ah, but they're elves, now, aren't they? Even with all the breeding and magic they still are mischievous. This is just a little game that has been passed down as a Hogwarts' tradition. Dobby has probably been waiting a long time to try to trick someone. It will be the talk of the kitchen for months to come," reaching out he pulled Snape onto his back. Gently hair was pushed out of the way. Large, slightly glistening eyes looked back full of unspoken apologies.

"It's going to be fine, Severus. You'll be just fine," the Headmaster soothed his friend.

"Except now I'm going to have to help you eat all the stuff they drag up out of that blasted kitchen," Snape tried to joke, eliciting a small smile from the older man.

"Yes, definitely. I think I'll send a message down to Remus and perhaps Hagrid. The more mouths the better, trust me!" he encouraged Snape to sit up then get out of bed. He drew the younger man into his arms and hugged him. Snape clung a moment sighing into his shoulder.

"Get dressed for the goat, hmmm?" Dumbledore released him, catching a shy smile. He watched Snape move off to the washroom.

Lupin and Hagrid arrived together having met in the hallway. Both were curious about the early morning call, especially on a Sunday. Entering the Headmaster's rooms did not help Lupin in the least. The table sagging with food, complete with a fountain of sparkling fruit juice smack dab in the middle, only confused him more.

Hagrid burst into laughter. "Yeh did it again, din't yeh Albus!"

"Let's just say Dobby has pulled off the dastardly deed and leave it at that," Dumbledore replied jovially. Hagrid turned to Lupin and quickly filled him in on the kitchen elves' tradition. He'd been invited on several occasions for the impromptu feast.

Both men watched the Potions Master slip out of the bedroom and quietly move towards the table. Hagrid grinned quickly, figuring out who had ordered the tea. Before he could say a word the Headmaster shook his head sharply quelling him. Lupin nudged him towards the table.

Hagrid was not a dense man, even if many people believed him to be. He simply preferred to keep mostly to himself. He'd joined in on the general teasing of Snape in the beginning but the fun had waned. The wizard had made some impressive strides over the passed few weeks, considering where he'd started from below ground zero. Students coming out to his class actually talked about potions without complaining.

Glancing at Snape he noted the too-pale complexion and exhaustion. The normal proud stance of the man had collapsed, shoulders sagged and eyes did not maintain contact for long. How had he missed this? There was more going on than the silly gossip, of that Hagrid was sure. The groundskeeper moved passed the Potions Master, carefully patting him on the back as he took a chair on the corner.

"Come 'n, Severus. Let's see if we ca' make a dent in tha eats," Hagrid proceeded to fill his plate. Snape managed a weak smile and started to pick through the serving dishes.

Dr. Barnes arrived a half-hour later and was immediately put to the task of reducing the omelet surplus. He stared in amazement at the fountain. Couldn't believe the tray of pastries. Bacon, sausage, ham, and kippers rounded out the meat proteins. Sliced fruits served in hollowed out watermelon rinds sat on opposite sides of the fountain. The mound of cheese spilling down was positively obscene. He didn't even want to think about the toast, bagels, muffins, butter, jam, clotted cream or honey that beckoned. He counted four visible pots of tea.

"So, what are we celebrating?" he asked as he put fresh fruit on his plate.

"Dobby's success in continuing tradition," Lupin replied.

"There is no way you could get through all of this food," Barnes observed, spearing some sausage.

"We'll send it down to the student's common rooms. It will disappear quickly," Dumbledorée said as he poured fresh tea out. "Last call, gentlemen!" he continued ringing the bell to summons the house elves. Soon the huge smorgasbord disappeared.

"Well, then, Albus, I must go see ta the beasties," Hagrid said, "good day, Severus, Remus, Jeffy."

"I'll join you, Hagrid," Lupin stood up. "I'd like to talk to you about your beasties and my class. We could team up on some of the creatures this year." With a cheerful good day Lupin followed Hagrid out the door.

Snape had settled comfortably back in his chair sipping his tea. Stomach full and a good night's sleep combined to elevate his mood. He watched the Healer rummage through his bag and retrieve a small bottle.

"I spoke with my dad and did a little research. We thought this potion might work well for you, Severus," he said as he removed a syringe and proceed to pull solution into the barrel. Snape scowled.

"A shot?" he growled, pulling arms tightly across his chest.

"Yes, a shot. This potion is relatively new, based on a muggle discovery. You will still feel the emotions but you won't be affected by them. It seems to separate the rational mind from the emotional mind," Barnes said as he moved to Snape's side.

"Arm, please," the Healer prompted. Reluctantly Snape began to unclench.

"How long does it last?" he asked.

"About 6 to eight hours, max. It may or may not affect your appetite," Barnes loosened his arm, pushing up the sleeve he swiped alcohol before inserting the needle. Snape flinched.

A knock sounded at the door as Barnes moved back to his bag to break the needle off and store away the medicine. Minerva McGonagall came in, face impassive for a change as she glanced over Snape. She beckoned to the Headmaster.

"I'm sorry to disturb you this morning, Albus, but I need you to have a little talk with two of my students. They seem to think it amusing to decorate the common room with a variety of bugs. Large bugs," the stiff look broke into a small smile.

"I'm having a hard time not bursting into laughter, actually. They didn't take into account the stink bugs would start mating and the younger students are asking the most amazing questions," she smirked.

"I'm only disciplining the two students, right? I don't need to explain the "bugs and the bees" do I?" Dumbledore asked suspiciously. Snape snickered, winning a sharp glance from the Headmaster.

"Just the two students," confirmed McGonagall.

"Well, then, Jeffrey, Severus, I'll be back," and the Headmaster tooled his face into seriousness as he followed the now stern witch out the door.


	12. A Promise to be Better 12

A Promise to be Better 12

Author: Raven Dancer

disclaimer: All characters belong to J.K. Rowling except for the Drs. Barnes and Beryl. I receive no monetary compensation for these works.

Summary: Snape answers Voldemort's call.

Dumbledore was still chuckling to himself as he ascended the stairs to his offices. Minerva certainly had her hands full this year! The Weasley twins were in rare form. They were determined to make it a very 'special' year. He had sent them to clean out a neglected classroom and collect the boggart within for Professor Lupin. Not an insurmountable task but one that would prove difficult enough.

He wondered if Snape would appreciate the punishment. He was definitely going to describe in detail sending the boys off with a big, sturdy oak box and a butterfly's net. How he'd ever managed to convince them to use that was masterful. McGonagall fell over laughing once they left her office. They were to report to Lupin for his assistance. Lupin would have a wonderful laugh. Yes, Snape had been right. Detentions should fit the transgression.

Opening his door he tossed his outer cloak on the rack and looked about. Barnes was reading on the couch but Snape was no where to be seen.

"Severus?" he called. Barnes looked up.

"I think he fell asleep in the bedroom," the Healer offered. Dumbledore checked, sticking his head inside. The bed was unruffled and the chair empty. Only the drapes moved slightly in the breeze; the window was open.

"Jeffrey, when did Severus go into the bedroom?" he asked, concerned, moving into the bedroom. The Healer got up and joined him looking around. Closet and washroom were checked.

"Maybe twenty minutes ago. He told me he had to take care of something, that he'd be back,") Barnes explained. He watched the Headmaster's face pale considerably as he sank onto the bed.

"Take care of something?" the older man repeated weakly.

"Well, yes. I just thought he was going to lie down, he's been a bit sleepy since the potion started to take effect," the Healer explained.

"Jeffrey, the window's open. The broom," he looked at the empty stand by the bedroom door, "is gone. He must have been summoned." Now the Healer paled.

"Oh, gods, if he's gone to Voldemort in this condition," Barnes sank down on the bed, too.

"What condition. Explain to me what the potion really will do, Just a moment," Dumbledore pushed up off the bed and rang the house elf bell. Beryl reported immediately.

"Beryl, can you get to the watchers in the forest?" the wizard asked. Beryl shook his head.

"Oh, yes. Beryl can go and talk to them now, Headmaster Dumbledore," he bounced.

"Go and ask if they've seen Professor Snape. He was probably flying a broom," and the elf burst out the windows. The Headmaster now turned to the Doctor.

"The potion does separate the emotional reactions from the rational. It effects the endorphin release in the brain, but no one is exactly sure how it does and what else it might stimulate. In all the test groups there was significant improvement in the subjects given the potion," he spoke clinically.

"Side-effects?" Dumbledore pushed.

"Well, they differ from person to person. Severus was somewhat sleepy and chatty. For Severus. He was very comfortable curled up in his chair. I think he might have been a bit dizzy, but (he didn't complain about that as he usually does." Barnes looked up frightened. "What will happen to him, Albus?"

"I don't know," the Headmaster replies, staring out the window.

Snape dropped the broom next to the tree. He'd find it when he came back or not; he didn't really care. Part of him realized this was probably a rather stupid thing to do. Voldemort must have figured out he saved the muggles and was now going to kill him. On the other hand, he might still want a 'spy' in Dumbledore's circle. Overall, it really didn't matter. He had been cheating death since he was a child. Given he'd reached 37, about 32 years more than he ever expected, it really seemed silly to hide now. Pressing the burning dark mark he apparated.

He found himself in a large room. He recognized it !as a sitting room in the old Riddle mansion. gods knew he'd been there before, usually on the floor fighting off the effects of some curse or another. Malfoy and another wizard were standing off by the fireplace. In the large, wing-backed chair, with Wormtail standing near, lounged Voldemort.

With two long steps, and a dizzy gasp, he assumed the 'position': prostrate and waiting.

"Well, well, Severus. How prompt of you," the dark mage said softly, looking over the still form.

"I endeavor to please you, master," Snape replied. Stifled snickers from the fireplace. Oh, that was not good.

"Really? Let's see if you'll please me now," Voldemort waved his wand over the form, "Crucio."

Snape did more than endeavor, he writhed on the ground as a scream ripped from him. Part of him was in incredible pain, he thought. Of course, part of him was simply observing this, completely detached. gods, it hurts. Interesting.

Voldemort smiled, but then the smile faded. Severus Snape was twisting at his feet screaming. Severus Snape never screamed on the first application of the cruciatus curse. That was what made it so enjoyable; his resistance. The dark wizard liked seeing how long this particular servant held out.

"Finitum," he snarled. He had to wait for the spasming to stop.

"Severus, what's the meaning of this? Are you ill?" he ground out angrily. Snape was slow in answering. Lucius Malfoy strode over and kicked him hard in the ribs.

"Answer, you damned traitor!" the man was gloating. He'd finally convinced Voldemort of Snape's betrayal. This secured his own return. Malfoy and his companions were hoping for a wonderfully long torture. Snape slowly curled up struggling with his breath.

The Potions Master could feel the intense pain as he forced air in and out of his lungs. Some were cracked, but hopefully not broken. He realized he was thinking clearly as another part of his mind dealt with the enormous fire coursing through his side.

"Malfoy! I did not ask for a display of your stupidity," Voldemort flipped his wand sending the surprised wizard flying into the brick of the fireplace where he hit with a dull thud before sliding to the ground. They all waited, not necessarily patiently, for Snape to gain enough breath to speak.

"The Healer, Barnes, injected some potion in me," Snape managed to eek out. "He and Dumbledore have been after me since last summer. They seem to think I'm rather 'stressed out'."

"Stressed out? What sort of idiotic crap is that?" Wormtail sneered. He was quickly cowed by his master's wand as it waved a warning. Voldemort leaned forward.

"What do you mean by this, Severus," he was intrigued. What was that fool Dumbledore doing to his spy? He really was worthless like this.

"I was out of control at the beginning of term; I sent over a dozen students to the hospital wing. I was not sleeping, I was not able to keep food down. The Healer decided I was having some sort of a breakdown. So they've been taking care of me with potions, trying to make me function better," Snape was chattering away. He was about to launch into another facet of his problems when WorImtail moved to his side and kicked him hard again.

"Worthless spy," he began, but was quickly silenced as Voldemort sent his minion crashing into the fireplace, falling down hard on top of Malfoy.

"I said to let him talk," Voldemort hissed. Snape twisted on the floor. Now ribs were broken. He could feel them grating against each other. His body reacted, tears streamed down his face. He knew he was moaning, he knew he was having difficulty breathing. He really didn't care.

"Kill me. You have others as highly placed in Dumbledore's circle don't you? Someone who can go back and forth with information? Even a spy has his uses," Snape got out, small splatters of blood from his nose as he breathed. Huh. Lung must be punctured. It certainly hurt enough.

Voldemort considered. Yes, he had other highly placed spies in the ministry itself. But none even remotely close to Dumbledore. Plus Snape was able to withstand a lot of torture. Usually. He could shield his mind and emotions. It pleasured Voldemort to see Snape twist and fight the curse before finally succumbing to the pain. Very enjoyable. Also, Snape had brought him important information in the past. Always walked a fine line between dark and light. The wizard still could be used for Voldemort's gain if played just right. At least he could have one more try at torturing him.

Voldemort licked his lips in anticipation; a shiver ran through his body.

Glancing down he frowned, seeing the blood. Damn that worthless Wormtail. Malfoy's kick had been bad enough; now there was blood on the carpet. Plus his spy was bleeding to death before him. His and Dumbledore's only link. He would not sever that link.

Yet.

Waving his wand idly he sent a binding charm, wrapping the broken ribs to help support the fallen wizard. Looking up he looked at his three choices. Forget the worm; he was unconscious. Malfoy was up, but he did not trust the wizard. Not when it came to Severus Snape.

"Gibbons. You will take Snape back to the Forbidden Forest and bring him close to the school. There are watchers in the forest; just make sure they find him and not some hungry creature. You will not harm him in any way," he held the death eater's eyes until he nodded in agreement.

"Severus, you will go back to your precious Albus. You will serve me until I have no more use for you," Voldemort leaned back in his chair.

"Yes, master," Snape sounded strained.

"I'll help Gibbons," Malfoy offered, looking a bit too eager.

"No. I'm not quite through with your reinitiation, Lucius. Gibbons has proven true; he will return Severus without killing him 'accidentally'," Voldemort said coldly. Another sweep of his wand and Lucius dropped to the floor fighting back screams. He lost the fight quickly twisting and screaming nearly two minutes before the cruciatus curse was terminated.

"I'd allow Severus to return his injury, blow for blow, but seeing that he's incapacitated. Gibbons?" and the man so named moved to Malfoy's side and struck him viscously in the ribs.

A stretcher was conjured and Snape was removed, the one named Gibbons apparated them both back to the Forbidden Forest.

"You were lucky, Snape. Voldemort was going to kill you. After awhile," Gibbons remarked.

"I do not have any luck. I only have postponed the inevitable," Snape replied, gasping slightly. Getting a breath was difficult. He felt the stretcher move through the forest.

"I will tell you this much, Snape, Voldemort is planning to harrass Dumbledore's efforts. He has a weapon that has been modified from the old reign; one you will probably recognize as soon as you see it. He will be releasing it in the forest soon," Gibbons said carefully, making sure Snape was listening.

"Why are you telling me this, Gibbons? You know I will only go and tell Dumbledore," Snape barely managed.

"Because, I still haven't decided which side will win," the wizard mirthlessly grinned. "I think your way has merit; if you survive the abuses."

Snape merely grunted, then coughed hard. Blood flowed from his lips. Gibbons became concerned. The wizard could not die; not because Voldemort had ordered it but because the information needed to get to Dumbledore. It guaranteed Gibbons at least a fair hearing in case Voldemort fell.

"IF THERE ARE ANY WATCHERS AROUND, COME AND GET YOUR PROFESSOR SNAPE!" Gibbons yelled aloud. Movement to his left. A House elf bounced out oëf the brush and leapt on top of the stretcher. Teeth bared.

"Dobby takes Professor Snape. Dobby takes Professor Snape now!" the elf hissed. Gibbons raised his wand and apparated.

The keening of the watcher brought others immediately. These surrounded the fallen wizard then two disappeared in a race for the humans.

Hagrid crashed through the forest first, finding the watchers as they kept up the alarm. He knelt by the stretcher. "Severus? Can ya hear me?"

A weak cough, but no words. Hagrid quickly felt Snape's robes locating his wand. He quickly raised the stretcher and began moving through the forest as quickly as he could. It was fortunate they were close to the castle. The house elves bounced around them, zipping ahead and falling back watching for trouble. They made it to the edge of the forest and saw the castle looming up in the dark.

"HAGRID!" Barnes was running [towards him, Lupin and Dumbledore well behind.

"He's in a bad way, Jeffy. Sumthing's wrong wit his lungs," Hagrid explained quickly. Barnes laid hands on the wizard's chest and began to read the injuries to his body. He immediately ripped Snape's robes open. His bag was opened next and a sealed bag extracted. Ripping it opened, a long, thin, tube was removed. One end was metal and razor-sharp.

"I have to drain his lung, now. He's drowning," Barnes said quickly to the big man. "Hold him down, tight."

Alcohol was poured out on Snape's lower chest. Barnes prodded against his rib cage searching for a good spot.

"Sorry, Severus, this is going to really hurt," the Healer murmured then pushed the sharp tube through the skin, between ribs and into the lung. He was immediately rewarded by a thin stream of blood and a low whimper from the /Potions Master.

Quickly Barnes poured himself inside Snape, bolstering the one working lung while beginning to pull back the broken ribs. One had punctured the lung. The Healer was no longer aware of his surroundings, totally consumed in his work. Lupin had pulled up next to Hagrid, who was still holding the injured man followed by Dumbledore.

"Beryl, go get Dr. Barnes' father. He's in my office!" the Headmaster sent the house elf off in a crackling blast. Long, tense minutes passed as they watched Snape struggling to breathe.

A light announced the second Healer's approach. James Barnes handed the lantern to Lupin as he knelt down next to his son. He too, placed hands on the fallen professor and began to scan, working in concert.

The worst was repaired quickly enough. Ribs were returned to their original positions, lung sack mended, re-inflated, dry. Snape found breathing easier and he blinked his eyes opened in confusion.

Now Dumbledore fell to his knees, bending close he stroked his friend's face.

"Albus?" he whispered.

"You're safe, child, just let the Healers take care of you," the Headmaster murmured, comforting Snape as best he could. In an amazingly short period of time the younger Barnes pulled back and surveyed their work. The tube was removed, the cut pushed closed and sealed. His father stayed a moment longer checking the internal conditions before pulling out.

"Antibiotics," he said.

"Right. Let's get him inside and clean him up," Jeffrey agreed. Between the blood, the sweat and the dirt Snape was filthy. Even with magical healing the germs were rampant. A muggle's potion was needed to continue the process.

Snape squirmed in pain. His mind seemed to be reuniting; the feeling and the thinking. Now he hurt. He tried to dampen it, think of anything else, but each breath in and out lanced his side in fire. Both Healers looked down at him.

"Let me," the elder doctor said. He placed his hand against Snape's head and murmured a charm, effectively lessening the pain through the release of endorphins. The patient relaxed, opening exhausted eyes.

"Albus?" he asked again, looking for his friend. Dumbledore simply pulled him onto his lap snugging him close. If they thought the wizard had been near breaking before he was definitely shattered now, completely hiding inside the Headmaster's arms and robes.


	13. A Promise to be Better 13

A Promise to be Better 13

Author: Raven Dancer

disclaimer: All characters belong to J.K. Rowling except for the Drs. Barnes and Beryl. I receive no monetary compensation for these works.

Summary: Extracting promises.

Snape woke in a warm, quiet place. He felt the itchy beard of his mentor, heard the soft breath flowing in and out. Another body was snugged completely against him, a tingle of healing energy passing into him.

Breathing was easier, now. The sharp, stabbing pain reduced to a vague pull against his side. He stretched slightly, enjoying the muzziness of his mind. It was soo nice to not worry, to not have to think. Not to be alone. To just curl up in that warm nest and fall back to sleep.

He missed the motion above him as James Barnes adjusted the iv bag. Between him and his son, Jeffrey, they had been in constant contact with Snape continually sending healing energy for the last 20 hours. He ran his hand gently over the peaceful face, sampling Snape's inner state. Calm. Content.

Usually they would not have worked so hard to completely heal a wound. It was good for a patient to heal on his own; the body regenerating itself. Emotionally it provided closure time for the injury for both patient and caregivers.

But it was the general consensus that Snape needed to be healed outright. He was an emotional time bomb that had imploded. He needed counseling, gentleness and time to work through the problems. Any physical pain would only stress him more.

Add to that the real possibility Voldemort would call him again. Snape had already demonstrated he'd leave without a moment's thought. Twice he'd gone, twice he'd been hurt. There was no guarantee even Dumbledore could contain him. He'd need to be physically strong to withstand the next meeting.

They could only hope about the emotional strength.

Even now none of them knew why Snape had been returned alive. They could read the use of the Cruciatus curse, although it had been a short exposure. They could tell he'd been kicked twice. No other marks were on him. It certainly wasn't a normal set of punishments/tortures.

It was nearing four in the afternoon. The elder Barnes decided to open the heavy drapes and let some sunlight in. Snape should wake, if only for a few minutes. Relieve some of the apprehension they all were feeling. No one was sure how his mental state was at all.

Again Snape drew to the surface. It was lighter. Much lighter. He reached out to find Dumbledore gone, a pillow had been propped under his arm. The comfortable weight at his back was still there, still sending energy. Slowly he opened his eyes.

Yes, still the Headmaster's bedroom. The autumn sunlighõt streamed in the open window as a breeze made the curtains dance. The interplay of shadow and light kept his attention for some time. He could hear people moving around him, softly talking, but he wasn't sure he was ready for that just yet.

But whether he was ready or not, the memories came back from the day before. Now that the potion had worn off he realized how stupid he'd been flying and apparating. He'd narrowly missed more than a few trees while riding on the broom. He was just damned lucky he hadn't apparated inside the couch or floor or whatever at the mansion.

Couple that with the very real meeting with Voldemort. He had been blessed, that was all he could figure. How else could he have survived? He would have been dead. He should be dead. Yet here he was waking up from the nightmare.

"Albus?" he whispered. The person behind him moved slightly, pulling him closer.

"You're ok, Severus," Jeffrey Barnes murmured quietly. "He's just stretching his legs."

"Well, hello Professor Snape," James Barnes said, sitting down next to the bed. He brushed the hair out of his patient's eyes.

Snape said nothing, but looked beyond the healer searching for Dumbledore. If he'd gone to stretch his legs he might not be back for awhile. A small bubble of panic began to fill his stomach.

"Ssshh, it's ok Severus," the younger Healer began to soothe him, changing the flow of energy. Warmth, lovely warmth, filled his belly. He sighed and closed his eyes.

Glancing at his son, Barnes again ran his hand over their patient's face.

"Going to wake up for us, Severus? You've been very quiet," he sent some energy. He watched the professor respond, pushing against his hand. Eyes reopened and looked up at the Healer.

"Hi, Dr. Barnes," he said very softly. He was rewarded with a broad smile and more gentle strokes.

"Would you like to get up, Severus? You could get dressed and wait for Albus to come back from his walk," the older Healer asked kindly. Snape considered this, then nodded.

It was a slow process, extricating the Potions Master from the bed. He was sluggish and confused. He trusted them to take care of him, soon found himself dressed in warm leggings, thick socks and a clean sleep shirt. Leaving the bed for the house elves, Snape was moved out into the living area. He stood for a long moment, looking at the couch and chairs.

Thank gods neither chair was a wing back.

He chose the couch, snugging close to the corner. Preferring to gaze into the fire on the grate. Tea was poured and set down by him. Jeffrey sat quietly nearby watching.

"I'm going to head back to the clinic, Jeff. Send an e-mail," the elder Barnes said.

Jeffrey nodded. "Thanks, Dad," he replied.

Their patient did nothing remarkable for 45 minutes. He watched the fire and sipped his tea.

The opening door caused the Healer to snap to attention, turning abruptly he watched the Headmaster return from his walk.

Dumbledore took his cloak off, tossing it on the rack. He then noticed Barnes sitting not watching him. Not watching Snape. Snape? He immediately walked to the couch.

"Severus? How are you feeling?" Dumbledore asked as he moved around the couch, not wanting to startle the wizard. Snape stared into the fire, not saying a word. Detecting small tremors, Jeffrey fully expected him to launch off the couch into the Headmaster's arms.

But he didn't. No movement at all until Dumbledore actually touched him, gently cupping his face to get his attention.

"Albus?" a very soft voice wafted up.

"Hullo, child," Dumbledore whispered huskily back.

The Healer hadn't factored in the possibility of the Headmaster breaking down.

Which he did, dropping to his knees he buried his head in Snape's lap trying hard not to cry. If the Potions MasterÔ was surprised he did not show it, sat quietly stroking his friend's hair and whispering soothing words.

Dumbledore pulled himself together.

"I thought I'd be comforting you, Severus," he chuckled, a little shaky wiping his eyes.

"I can wait," Snape said simply, now opening his arms. Coming up to sit on the couch, Dumbledore accepted the hug. It didn't last very long. The younger man pressed his face into his mentor's shoulder. Shoulders began to tremble under the strain.

Now Barnes moved. He quickly sat behind Snape as he broke down. The Healer knew to send some warming energy to keep the man from getting totally despondent.

Dumbledore held tight, whispering his love and support. He knew Barnes was there, not hindering him in the least but helping as best he could. Snape let himself go for a few minutes before trying to gather himself back.

In halting sentences Snape managed to convey everything that had happened, from the first dizzying step out the Headmaster's windowı to Gibbons warning about the Forbidden Forest.

Dumbledore encouraged the younger man, but did not question him. It was more important that he get rid of his fear first before trying to glean all the meaning out of it possible. He couldn't help but wince when Snape related getting kicked. He silently thanked all the gods for sending Severus back to him.

"I'm so sorry, Albus," Snape finally lamented, as though he'd brought it all on himself, disappointing his friend.

"Child, you have nothing to be sorry for, you did the best you could in a horrible situation," Dumbledore managed to pull him up so he was snugged against his chest and shoulder. Snape was nearly limp. He wasn't even gripping the Headmaster's robes, which he'd done in the past, his hands clasped in his lap as he stared once more into the fire.

Dumbledore continued to hold him, rocking a little. Finally Snape shifted, fingers running lightly over the older man's robes before burying themselves in the folds. Eyes half-clo˙sed as Snape snuggled into the warmth and protection.

"He wants to play with me. He was disappointed I didn't fight against the curse," Snape whispered. "He gets off watching."

"Then there's no real reason to go back. Voldemort's not likely to tell you anything of importance any longer," Barnes reasoned.

"You aren't going back," Dumbledore said firmly. "You can't really spy. The only reason to go back would be to be hurt for his amusement."

"Gibbons. He's not entirely on Voldemort's side. I would get information from him," Snape weakly protested.

"He can send an owl," the Headmaster snapped. He would not let Snape go off again. Holding the tired wizard the Headmaster did some quick thinking.

"The next time, anytime, you are summoned, by Voldemort or his minions, whether by message or if your mark burns, you will come find me first, Severus. You must not leave," Dumbledore was very firm as he ran his hand over the tense shoulder and face.

No answer.

"Severus, promise me you come to me when you are summoned," Dumbledore continued. Snape moved listlessly, thinking. He would be giving up alot, his right to his own decision if he promised that to the Headmaster.

Barnes looked from wizard to wizard. If Dumbledore extracted this promise from Snape the Healer would have to talk with the Headmaster about the ramifications. If Snape gave up that much freedom the Headmaster would have to provide additional support. Continued emotional support.

Dumbledore was insistent. Finally Snape relented.

"Yes, Albus, I'll come to you. I'll let you know when I'm contacted by any of the Death Eaters or Voldemort," the Potions Master sighed deeply. That was one less thing to worry about in any event.

Hours later, after attempting to eat, Snape was allowed to bathe on his own. He filled the tub and leaned back to have a long soak.

Barnes took the opportunity to corner Dumbledore.

"Headmaster, before I go back to Hogsmeade, I wanted to touch base on a few ~things," the Healer began.

"I know about the potions, Jeffrey, I can give them to him when he needs them," the Headmaster smiled.

"Good," the Healer began again.

"I've lined up two seventh-year students to take his first years in the morning. I'll take the second years in the afternoon," the Headmaster continued, ticking items off as he went.

"Sounds like you have classes under control. I," Barnes tried again to turn the conversation.

"I've sketched out Tuesday, too," Dumbledore was starting in on his next schedule.

"Actually, Albus, I wanted to talk with you about the promise you extracted from Severus this afternoon," Barnes jumped in quickly. A tight smile played around the Headmaster's lips.

"I thought you might," the older man said sounding pleased with himself.

"Severus has always been a very independent person, even with his working for you and the Light. He's done what you've wanted, but on his terms," Barnes observed.

"I don't see how reporting to me first makes much of a difference," Dumbledore protested mildly.

"Albus, you told him he would not go back. You basically told him you'd make any decisions regarding contact with Voldemort or the Death Eaters," the Healer carefully pointed out.

"I still don't see much of a change," the older man said.

"Given that Severus has been verging on total collapse emotionally for months now he's just given up some more of his personal control to you. He looks to you for emotional support. You've just raised the ante, so to speak. You have an even bigger influence on him. I'm just saying you're going to need to be there for him, no matter what, if you want him to get well," Barnes said.

"Of course I'll be there for him! I don't want him to get killed, and that's just what will happen if he goes back," the Headmaster was not too pleased with the Healer's concern. What was he implying? That he'd abandoned Snape if it wasn't convenient? If it became too hard?

Barnes sighed. He'd been afraid of this; a promise extracted in a moment of high emotion. Dumbledore hadn't fully realized how insecure and needy Snape might become. When, not if, WHEN that summons came he'd be a basket case with all the sub-conscious associations wreaking havoc.

"I know you're protecting him, Albus. Just be sure to be there, be consistent. He's fragile and he'll be on the edge for many months to come. I'll start working with him more about his issues. He has alot of old baggage to let go," Barnes gathered up his kit and cloak.

"Don't worry, Jeffrey, I'll be there. I am there," Dumbledore gave him a full smile, eyes twinkling. With an answering smile and a good night, Dr. Barnes left.


	14. A Promise to be Better 14

A Promise to Be Better 14

author: Raven Dancer

Disclaimer: All characters belong to J.K. Rowling except for the Drs. Barnes and Beryl. I receive no monetary compensation for these works.

summary: A session with Dr. Barnes.

Monday morning was spent carefully going over the entire meeting with Voldemort. Dumbledore poked and prodded dragging out every word looking for hidden meanings.

There weren't any.

All in all, Snape's original statement about being an annoyance and an amusement for the Dark Lord seemed the best synopsis of the entire encounter. Voldemort was angry, moody, still prone to attacking viscously any follower who displeased him. Even Wormtail, who'd been instrumental in helping the dark mage to gain strength, was treated with much disdain. Malfoy certainly held no favor.

The man named Gibbons seemed on firmer ground. Plus he was very interested in getting his message back to Dumbledore given his call for the watchers.

The Headmaster was rehashing the choice of Gibbons to return Snape to the Forbidden Forest when the Potions Master had excused himself and gone into the bathroom. He'd returned pale and dizzy.

"Just a little nauseous, Albus," Snape said by way of apology.

Immediately Barnes' words echoed in his head about the wizard being fragile. He'd been ripping apart the 'mission' more than normal thus pulling Snape apart by making him relive each moment several times over. Quickly he crossed the room and helped the trembling man back to the couch.

"I think we've gone over this enough, Severus. Why don't you lie down for a bit?" Dumbledore soon had his friend pillowed in his lap. Snape was almost gray.

"You can ask me more questions, Albus. Whatever I can remember for you," he was still trembling and Dumbledore pulled the blanket onto him, wrapping him warmly.

"You've answered all my questions, Severus. Just relax a little," with a quick wave of his hand he called over one of the potions Barnes' had left. He added it to some water and gently cajoled the wizard to drink it.

Slowly the tremors dissipated. Snape's color improved and his stiff body began to relax. Quietly Dumbledore carded his fingers through dark hair teasing out tangles. He'd bathed but he hadn't taken care of his hair. How had Dumbledore missed that? It was greasy, but normally combed out.

Dumbledore realized he needed to talk with Barnes.

When the Healer arrived at lunch he found both men still on the couch. Snape was asleep, curled tight against the Headmaster. Dumbledore was reading the ever-present mail.

"Ready to teach, Albus?" Barnes asked cheerfully. He noted the older man didn't answer right away, first setting all his work aside then resting freed hands on the sleeping wizard. H‹mmmm. The Healer's radar was activated.

"Have a restful night?" Barnes tried a new question, moving a chair close to the couch so he could examine his patient.

"Severus slept it through, no nightmares for a change," Dumbledore said quietly.

"I modified the dreamless sleep potion. Still get to rem but it quells any strong emotion," Barnes commented, frowning a bit as he read the unrest in the sleeping man.

"Any problems this morning?" the Healer pursued, noting the empty stomach and tract beyond. "He eat any breakfast?"

"Oh, he ate a good breakfast, actually. He just lost all of it. We were going over his visit to Voldemort and I pushed on it too much. He became ill," Dumbledore admitted.

"Worse still, when he dragged himself out of the loo looking all gray and horrible he told me he'd answer more questions, all questions," the older wizard whispered.

"He only wants to please you, Albus, and serve the cause," Barnes said as he pushed into the healed lung checking for weaknesses. Most things looked fine, he'd just have to get the professor to eat as soon as possible. Or rehang the glucose drip.

Shifting the sleeping man Barnes slipped into place as pillow freeing the Headmaster to teach. Dumbledore caressed the Potions Master's face. Animating, Snape flinched, then stretch a little and looked up with blearily. He recognized his friend and smiled a little as he began to yawn.

"Leaving?" he asked through the yawn. Both eyes now opened and rested on Dumbledore. Snape knew, by the energy feed, the younger Healer was tending to him.

"Yes, just down to teach second years," the Headmaster explained. Snape frowned.

"I should be doing that, Albus. I can go teach my classes," the wizard protested. Barnes quietly began soothing him, changing the energy feed slightly.

"Yes, I know, Severus. But right now it's more important you rest and talk with Jeffrey. Besides," and Dumbledore turned on his smile, "I'm enjoying teaching. It's lots more fun than reading and responding to the mail!"

Snape returned the smile, mellowed by the Healer. He watched as Dumbledore pulled on his outer cloak.

"I'll be back," the Headmaster slipped out the door and down to lunch.

"Well, Severus, maybe we should eat, too?" Barnes gently coerced the drowsy wizard.

"'k," the Potions Master agreed and with a little help got up off the couch and went to clean up for lunch. Barnes carefully placed a lunch order with a mischievously smug Dobby.

"Dobby brings Professor Snape's favorite fruit," the elf announced as he set out lunch. The table offered soup, sandwiches, canned peaches, juice and tea. A pitcher of iced water completed the setting. Both wizards sat down to eat.

Barnes watched Snape take several spoons of peaches. "I never knew you enjoyed tinned peaches, Severus," the Healer commented.

"Always have," he murmured. He ate a slice before reaching for a half of a sandwich. They ate in companionable silence for awhile. Barnes kept an eye on his patient; Snape was thinking about something. His eyes were hard yet distant.

"A sickle for your thought, Sev," the Healer teased, wanting to find a way into the private man's thoughts.

Eyes coming back into the present, Snape looked up at his doctor.

"Just an old memory," he started to dismiss it. But Barnes pressed gently.

"I would like to hear it. Maybe it will help us with your anger," the Healer said. He wondered if the Potions Master would answer or simply ignore the request.

"I was recalling eating tinned peaches when I was a child," he finally replied.

"I get the feeling this is not a very happy memory?" Barnes queried.

"I don't know, I mean, it certainly isn't bad, eating tinned peaches," Snape shrugged. Barnes reached for the tea pot and poured out fresh tea into both cups.

"Not bad, in and of itself, no. What was happening when you were eating the peaches?" Barnes directed the retelling.

Snape sighed. He realized the Healer only wanted to help him. Getting some of these out into the open would let him at least find out if what had happened was bad or good. He really didn't know; they were his only experiences of what childhood should be.

"Nothing was happening. My parents were gone, to some gathering or conference, for the week. I was five at the time I was remembering. They were gone often," he sipped at the hot tea, sitting back in his chair.

"People do that, leave their children to go places for a few days or a week? They were never gone longer than two weeks at a time," the wizard said reasonably.

"People travel. Where did your parents go so often? Was it part of their jobs?" Barnes asked.

"Dad was always looking for new potions to brew. He was in demand, you know. Famous for his potions," Snape said quietly.

"Who stayed with you?" Barnes asked off-hand.

"Stayed with me? No one. I took care of myself," Snape replied as he reached for a cookie that Dobby set on the table, whisking away empty plates and bowls.

"Really? No house elf or servant?" Warning flags all over that statement.

"Mother took the house elf with her. Father's servant traveled with him, of course. What does a child need with a servant? Mother said I needed to learn to take care of myself so I would appreciate servants when I grew up," Snape looked over at the Healer to see his reaction. He was brought up to believe this was normal, to be alone all the time.

Barnes was a very good Healer. He did not react either negatively or overly positive. This somewhat encouraged Snape to go on.

"I couldn't use the stove until I was older, but I could open the canned food and boxes. Plus there was milk and juice in the coldbox. I could get my own cereal and such. Sometimes the house elf left me cookies or cake," he smile at the memory.

"How often were you left alone?" Barnes asked in his most casual tone.

"They seemed to be off somewhere every week or two. You know how it is, home for a few days then off to a lecture. Father was in great demand," he said with a shrug.

"Well, I suppose your Mother spent a lot of time with you between trips, playing games or reading?" Barnes asked.

"Not really. She was always busy with something and I seemed to disrupt much of her work. I still remember being punished for being too noisy. I guess I was a loud child," he admitted with a shrug.

Why did Barnes get the notion this generally silent wizard had been just as quiet growing up?

"Now, Severus, you don't strike me as noisy," he said genially.

"I was. Mother and Father both insisted on it. I can't tell you how often I was sent to the closet for running amok," Snape wanted, no needed, Barnes to act as though this was normal punishment. He'd never told anyone about this, feeling it was shaming to his parents their child was so bad. The Healer didn't react to the statement, just sipped his tea.

"I tried so hard when they were home, to be quiet, to read, to stay out of the way unless they called me. I guess I just couldn't," words tumbled out of his mouth now.

"Well, were you more active than your neighbors or cousins?" Barnes asked for comparison.

"We had no neighbors, at least not close. As for family, we never visited them. My Father had a falling out with his family when he was younger; I never knew what had happened. My Mother was an only child. Her parents never came to the house. The one time I remember visiting I had done something, spilled juice and ruined the carpet I think, and we never went back. At least, I never went back," Snape was desperate for Barnes to agree he was a terrible child.

"What else can parents do with such a terrible child? I've always thought I was lucky because other children were beaten," Snape watched the Healer for a reaction, any reaction. He had been told constantly what a horrid nuisance he was, he'd never amount to anything, never be any good. He'd tried, tried so hard to please them both. Done his very best in school (and earned top marks across the board). But to his parents' dying day he'd never, never gained acceptance. Surely this happened in most families.

"How did you know other children were beaten? You said yourself you weren't around children," Barnes asked as he sipped some tea.

"I think my Mother told me, I'm pretty sure of that. Father never spoke with me directly until I came home from Hogwarts after my 7th year. He said it was Mother's job to see to me," Snape recalled.

"So, what did you do with yourself? With your parents gone so much? Were you scared? Lonely?" Barnes asked.

"I read a lot. All my Father's potions books. Mom had a lot of books, too. Lots of dark magic," Snape admitted.

"And?" Barnes now pressed a bit.

"I suppose I was lonely. I know I was scared at first, going up those stairs to my bedroom and all. Sometimes," he whispered, "sometimes I'd just sleep in the sitting room, if I was sure Mother wouldn't be home that night. I couldn't turn the lights on until I was older. It would get very dark with all the curtains closed."

That was a loaded statement, about his Mother, one they'd definitely explore later. Probably when they discussed his Father's assertion about her raising the child to begin with. Right now he had to work through the abandonment.

"How long were you left in the closet? Did your parents let you out?" Barnes changed gears slightly. As long as he could get Snape to talk openly about his childhood he would. Get as much out as possible.

"Never longer than the day generally. A few times over night. I must have done something really horrid, I think," he shrugged.

Barnes was now becoming angry. Leave a child alone in a dark closet for hours? Leave a child alone for days on end with no one to care for him? To make a child believe it was normal to be so alone and untouched? No wonder Snape was so angry. Hogwarts must have been extremely confusing and then try to learn all the social skills he'd missed! What an easy target for teasing. Top it off with knowing so much of the dark arts early on, in Slytherins and a loner. To people who were used to social interaction, used to having people around, used to affection and acceptance this one dark child was untouchable.

No wonder he'd bonded so strongly with Dumbledore. There was acceptance and affection. Although the years in school having all the pranks casually ignored or tossed aside must have hurt. He'd been raiËsed to believe he was worthless; it was re-affirmed by the only person to care for him. Barnes had a lot to think about, especially how to proceed with counseling Snape.

"Severus, in all your experience as a student here at Hogwarts and as a teacher, did you ever suspect other children were treated differently?" the Healer watched the wizard closely.

He was met with silence. Eyes slipped and were filled with anger? Self loathing? It was hard to decide.

"I, I wondered about it, a lot actually. Especially when I was a first year. But then Albus took me aside, when I got in trouble especially, and talked with me. I felt better after that. He always had time for me if I needed to talk," Snape finally admitted.

"What did you wonder about?" Barnes was sure Snape knew his upbringing wasn't normal but had learned to ignore that just as he ignored the loneliness and double standards at school.

"I don't know, maybe about brothers? And sisters. Not to be alone. And if they were put in separate closets. And if their Fathers hit them, too , when they weren't good enough," Snape flushed, embarrassed at his supposed inadequacies.

Barnes finally moved his chair so he was facing Snape and encouraged him to turn his chair also. The Healer leaned forward on his knees, looking at his hands for a moment, trying to gauge his next comment.

"Severus, this may be hard to accept, but most children are not locked in a closet," he began.

"Potter was. His uncle and aunt kept him in a closet," Snape said abruptly, begging for the Healer to agree.

"Harry was forced to use a closet as his bedroom. He was not treated all that well, from what I've heard. But he was allowed to go to school and go outside and move about even though restricted. But this isn't about Harry Potter, this is about Severus Snape," Barnes said firmly, hoping to derail the inevitable comparisons.

"He came to Hogwarts and everyone likes him. He has friends and," Snape stopped in his rush, his breath rushing in and out and heart beginning to pick up the pace.

"He is not you, Severus. We are talking about you. I am only interested in you," Barnes reached out and securely grasped the wizard's hands in his own feeding him energy to soothe him. Snape stared at their hands intertwined. Still for a long moment.

"I hated children when I first began to teach here. Hated their happiness. Albus would talk with me for hours trying to get me to understand what being a child was, teasing me sometimes. Try to get me to play with him. I could manage after awhile, kept to myself mostly and didn't interact with them except in the dungeons," he drew in a long shuddery breath.

"And then Potter comes along. So much the golden boy, so much like his father. Too many memories of his damned father and godfather. Remus I can tolerate, I have come to accept he didn't go along with most of the pranks and meanness. Especially didn't have a choice that night Black sent me to the shack to find him," Snape stopped a moment, then continued.

"But Albus worked with me again, helped me at least not act on all that anger. I think I could have done it, gone on until Potter was graduated and gone," Snape said.

"But Voldemort returned," Barnes said.

"Voldemort returned," Snape agreed, "and I had to try to help. I used to spy, I was very good. But too many remember Dumbledore standing up for me at my trial. You know what's happened. I snapped. I can't do the only thing I was good for. I'm not good for anything."

Barnes send a surge of energy through the Potions Master effectively stopping his line of thought. If the only thing he was good for was the thing Dumbledore was now denying him Barnes knew he'd be working with Snape for years.

"You are good, Severus Snape. No matter what your parents raised you to believe. You've done all that you can and you will continue to help Albus and the Light in many ways. You are wonderful," he leaned closer and caught the shaking wizard in a hug, pulling him tight against him. Snape was stiff for a moment, then latched onto the Healer and buried his face in his robes.

Catharsis is well and good, but after long minutes tears slow up and noses are wiped. Barnes continued to comfort Snape until he pulled back. The Healer moved to get some potions and mixed them up in the cool tea.

"I think, Severus, you can rest for awhile. You've shared with me a lot of old hurts and we'll talk about them more in the coming months," he smiled encouragingly as he touched Snape's hand before giving him the tea cup.

"I, I've never really told anyone about my parents," Snape confessed. "I never thought it really important."

"Well, it is important. You need to sift through it and think about how it's affected you. Make you aware of who you are and what your real choices are. You are a good person, Severus. We just have to convince you," Barnes nudged the cup and Snape lifted it, drinking deeply.

"Still could use some mint," grumbled Snape.

"You can reformulate it for me," Barnes returned equitably.

Holding out his hand, Barnes pulled Snape up and brought him to the lounge.

"You're going to be sleepy in a minute. Let me hold you awhile and guard your dreams. You need the rem time but I don't want you to have nightmares," Barnes explained.

"Ok," Snape hesitantly agreed. He was getting sleepy though, and he felt chilled. It was hard to get warm some times, especially in the dungeons and with the cold came the bad dreams. Just being warm was nearly enough to keep the worst of the nightmares at bay.

Barnes lie down leaving room for the Potions Master to crawl into, under the Healer's arm and snugged up to his shoulder. A blanket wafted over and covered them both. Snape sighed.

"I feel kind of stupid," he admitted.

"That's ok. You're a bit cold," Barnes sent a small warming charm through the blanket causing an appreciative moan.

"Sleep, Severus," the Healer encouraged. "Sleep."


	15. A Promise to be Better 15

A Promise to be Better 15

Author: Raven Dancer

disclaimer: All characters belong to J.K. Rowling except for the Drs. Barnes and Beryl. I receive no monetary compensation for these works.

Summary: Snape continues to heal.

For a few days Barnes delved into Severus Snape. Dug into all the closets and rattled a lot of skeletons. While the Potions Master was willing the Healer was going to get as much history out as possible. Sometimes Dumbledore was with them, sometimes not. Barnes noted Snape did not want to discuss his school years when the Headmaster was around.

The Healer allowed Snape to go back to teaching. It was the one place he was happy. The strictures Dumbledore had put in place (treating all students with respect, creating a stress-free environment, et al) actually helped. The Potions Master was at least trying to behave towards the children as he secretly wished his parents had acted towards him.

Under protest Snape began to journal.

"Just write down whatever you're thinking Severus," Barnes had directed, having handed the reluctant man a thin book. It was protected by several spells to reassure the wizard it would stay private.

"Can't I just use a pensieve to sort through my thoughts?" Snape groused, flipping through the blank lined pages. Being a magical journal there were hundreds of blank pages bound up in a thin dragon hide cover.

"A pensieve gives visual. I find it is distracting most of the time. Especially for the memories you're bringing up. I want you to put down what you're doing and feeling now. We can go over some parts of it during our sessions," Barnes explained. "If you like, think of it as homework."

Snape glared. HOMEWORK!

"But if I write it down someone can get ahold of it and read it," he protested.

"Severus, there are several charms on that little book. Be assured no student or even staff member could crack open that book and read it unless you opened it and gave it to them. Even then, they'd only be able to read the page it was open to," Barnes explained.

"But there are ways around the charms?" he asked suspiciously.

"Yes, I'm sure that given time and incentive someone could break the charms on that journal. The company who makes them admits they pay people to try. Any time someone breaks into one they reformulate the charms," Barnes said matter-of-factly.

Snape looked at the book and then at the Healer. With a great sigh he picked up the quill and inscribed his name on the first page thereby sealing this particular journal to him and him alone.

After two weeks of intense sessions, teaching and venturing back to the great hall for meals, Snape moved back to his own rooms. He'd needed a sleeping draught the first few nights, to relax and fall asleep. Barnes had insisted the Potions Master allow the house elves to warm his bed each night.

"You get chilled and won't light the fire," Barnes pointed out.

"You wouldn't either, if you got surprise guests in the middle of the night," Snape groused. Even with all the protections of Hogwarts, a lit fire was was a portal, limited but still there. Nothing physical could actually get through, but messages could be sent. Waking up to Voldemort's head was not something he relished.

"Yes, Severus, I know that you used to get all sorts of rude wake-ups, especially back during the first uprisings. And Malfoy had a penchant to looking you up now and again to harass you. So don't light the fire," Barnes had argued. "Just let the house elves get on with their duties. Beryl or Dobby especially like to care for you."

"Why can't I warm my own bed?" he snarled.

"Can you honestly tell me you'd do it? Each and every night? I don't want to extract promises, Severus, I just want the bed warm so you sleep well. The house elves do this for other staff and students in the castle," Barnes came right back at the Potions Master.

Snape finally agreed and with Barnes waiting called Dobby and made his request. The elf, of course, was happy to be able to serve the wizard and said the bed would be warmed nightly. If he happened to need it warmed at any other time he need only ring for them.

The first week went ok. Classes were fine, the students were amazing in their ability to accept the changes in their Potions Master. They were still bored at times, but Snape added a few pot¥ions that were just fun or extremely useful for a student. They were no longer terrified of the wizard although many were still jumpy when something went wrong.

McGonagall had come by class twice that week, just to 'check up' on her students. Although very gun-shy, Snape stood his ground while she walked through. At the very least she only walked through, did not linger to watch or question.

At staff table in the great halls and in the staff room, conversation turned away from Snape and returned to the mundane existence of a professor: good students, bad students, and the Weasley twins. The mating bug story had been good enough to keep the adults chuckling for a few days. Especially when Lupin related the two students trying to net a bogart.

"I had a suspicion they'd never really listened to me in the first place," the DADA professor remarked to Snape as they ate lunch on Friday.

"Do they ever listen? I think the twins enjoy their mistakes more than their successes!" Snape blew on his soup before sipping it off the spoon.

"I think you're right. I've caught them demonstrating bogart netting to several groups of suspicious students. I'm going to have to review bogarts with all the classes thanks to them!" Lupin groused. Snape actually chuckled, a slight smile flashed and disappeared.

"There's a bogart in the old quidditch classroom," Snape mentioned. "I had it in my face last August and I doubt very much it's moved.

"That's true, they tend to stay put once they find a nice dark spot," Lupin agreed wiping sweat from his forehead. He was pleased the conversation was going so easily, that the Potions Master seemed more relaxed with him and in the great hall.

Lupin had been shocked when he found out Snape was a Death Eater the year before. He had known Snape was a dark, antagonisitic wizard since they met as first years at Hogwarts. He was intrigued and amazed Snape had spied for Dumbledore during Voldemort's first reign during the height of the creature's power.

But that was nothing compared to the shock of seeing Snape limp in Hagrid's arms returning from a meeting with Voldemort nearly three weeks before. Lupin was not privy to exactly what happened but he gathered the meeting had not gone well and Snape's spying days must be over. At least he hoped so.

Snape had been healed quickly and returned to his teaching duties within a week. The DADA professor wondered about that quick return but knew enough not to question too closely either Snape or Dumbledore. He had no idea whatsoever what happened behind closed doors, but he was glad something was being done for the wizard.

Another wave of dizziness passed through Lupin and he wiped his face again.

"Remus? Are you quite alright?" asked Snape, setting his spoon down as he watched the normally healthy man pale significantly. "Not the moon," he continued, whispering, "sick?"

"I'm not sure, Severus," Lupin liked to hear his name roll off the other man's lips and was always quick to reinforce that by using Snape's first name.

"I have been a bit queasy today. A little dizzy. Probably something I ate," Lupin shrugged.

"Well, if it continues see Pomfrey or come down to me and get a potion for it. No reason to be miserable," Snape said with a bit of concern. He took some bread and tore a piece off to eat. Lupin nodded and sipped at his tea.

The rest of the day went quietly enough for all concerned. After dinner Lupin followed Snape down to the dungeons and did secure a potion for his nausea. He downed the peppermint flavored brew and took an additional goblet for later if he needed it.

Snape actually walked him back up to his rooms. Rather surprising in and of itself. He politely refused coming in for a drink.

"Go to bed, Remus. You need the sleep," Snape said as he moved back down the hallway.

"Thanks, Severus," Lupin caılled. Snape just waved over his shoulder as he disappeared down the stairway.

Albus Dumbledore woke in the middle of the night. It was dark, no moonlight. He lay in bed, wondering what had disturbed his sleep.

Rolling over he hit the top of the muggle clock Arthur Weasley had given him years before.

"It is three thirty-eight am," the voice intoned.

Now there was a movement by the window and the Headmaster noted the thin silhouette standing, arms snugged tightly against chest as if cold or in pain. Pushing up he sat on the edge of the bed and turned on the light.

"Well, Severus, how long have you been here?" Dumbledore asked with a yawn.

"Since a little after one," Snape replied in a very small voice.

"Why didn't you wake me?" the Headmaster put on his glasses and stretched before standing and moving to the wizard.

"You were sleeping so peacefully. I didn't want to bother you," the younger wizard admitted.

"Something has bothered you, Severus," Dumbledore now reached Sna¯pe and stood at his shoulder, looking over the dark expanse. The younger man shrugged then held out his arm.

The death eater's mark was dark and angry, the serpent's eyes nearly glowing white against the black. It must have been painful given the rigidness of the younger man's muscles and the sheen of sweat on his arm.

"It won't stop until I apparate or he tires of holding the spell," Snape shrugged. "So there was no point in waking you since all I'd do is exactly this, wait."

"And be in a lot of pain," Dumbledore remarked, gently taking hold of Snape's left wrist tugging him over to the light. He studied the mark intently, considering.

A fresh wave of pain coursed through the forearm as an angry dark wizard once more cast the summoning charm. Snape whimpered slightly as his muscles tensed yet again and the mark burned anew.

Dumbledore ran his hand over the blighted skin and began to whisper various counter charms he knew. Intellectually he knew he could either terminate the charm ˘or disrupt it enough to stop the pain. It might take awhile to get the right combination.

After several unsuccessful minutes Dumbledore furrowed his brow and growled angrily. "Terminus 'summon command'!" and watched with admitted surprise as the mark began to fade and muscles began to release.

Snape, bathed in sweat, watched in dull amazement as the pain receded. "It doesn't hurt anymore," he whispered, exhausted. Dumbledore smiled.

"There, that was easy. No wonder I couldn't figure it out!" the Headmaster chuckled. "Let's go rinse you off and get you into dry clothing," he continued, leading the trembling man to the washroom.

Snape had a quick shower, mostly to rinse off the sweat. He managed to run a soapy cloth over himself and get one light shampoo in before depleting what energy he possessed. Left to himself the Potions Master would have collasped in his own bed dripping wet and shivering.

But he wasn't in his own rooms. Dumbledore helped wrapped him in a towel and led him back into the bedroom. A sleepshirt was located as well as light sweat pants. Hair was dried, combed and pulled into a tie. Dressed Snape was finally propelled towards the bed.

Where he balked.

"I can go back to my rooms, Headmaster," tired voice, tired face grey with exhaustion.

"In. The middle. You're asleep on your feet, Severus," Dumbledore pushed him patiently. Without any more resistance the Potions Master climbed in between the waiting covers.

The Headmaster moved quietly about the room picking up wet towels tossing them into the laundry basket. He moved out into the office area and sent a message to Dr. Barnes. Not urgent, just a request he stop by in the morning at his convenience. By the time he'd returned Snape was asleep. Slipping into bed, lights were turned off and he settled onto his pillow.

In his sleep the younger man gravitated to the warmth. With an indulgent smile Dumbledore shifted, letting the cold body snug close under his arm. If he warmed up chances were good Snape would sleep sound without nightmares. Barnes had been very specific on that. With a sigh the Headmaster curled against him and fell asleep.

Snape woke hours later. He drowsily looked around the room and determined he was once again in the Headmaster's bed. The late October sun was bright and welcome, dispelling the dark dispair he'd felt in the middle of the night.

Stretching he sat up on the edge of the bed. A pair of slippers and robe had been left for him. Rolling his eyes Snape berated himself: no clothing! He'd come up without a set for the day. Reaching for the bell he called a house elf.

"Professor !Snape is awake! Professor Snape wants his breakfast?" Dobby bounced into the room with his usual fervor.

Oooh no, this sounded very familiar. The Potions Master closed his eyes and rubbed the bridge of his nose.

"Actually, Dobby, I'd like some clean robes from my room," the professor said carefully.

"The Headmaster says no clothes. The Headmaster says Professor Snape must eat first," Dobby's eyes gleamed with amusement. Snape sighed.

"Alright, Dobby. Bring me breakfast. Or is it lunchtime?" he asked, somewhat defeated. If the Headmaster had given the elf orders they would override his own.

"Lunch, Professor Snape. Almost lunch. But Professor Snape may have breakfast if Professor Snape wants it," Dobby reported.

"Surprise me, Dobby. But just enough for me, not a party of 20!" Snape muttered. He didn't really want to eat but he had little choice. Might as well give up all his choices.

Dobby's smile broadened and he shook his head so hard Snape swore he'd achieve flight from his ears flapping. With a loud crack the elf swept out of sight.

Pulling on the robe Snape pushed his feet into the slippers and went into the washroom. He had a suspicion he'd have to eat his meal out in the dining area. Dumbledore would probably want to monitor his intake. With a persecuted sigh the Potions Master walked into the sitting room.

Dumbledore was at his desk with Professor Lupin. Snape raised his hand to wave when he froze.

"DON'T TOUCH THAT!" the wizard shouted as a gleaming circlet of gold dropped out of Lupin's hand clattering on the desk.

"Albus," Snape hurried over, "tell me you haven't touched it."

Dumbledore looked up with great concern, "No, Severus. Remus just brought it up to show me."

"I found it Tuesday when Hagrid and I were in the Forbidden Forest looking for some shelf mushrooms. It was," Lupin was interrupted.

"On or near a dead animal?" Snape just stared at the ring of shiny gold.

"Well, yes, there was a dead rabbit," the DADA professor said.

"Algie's rings," Snape murmured. With a jerk he faced Lupin, concern lining his face. "You found it Tuesday? Four days ago? Have you had it in your possession the whole time? Did anyone else touch it? Hagrid?"

"Uh, Hagrid didn't touch it. I put it in a pocket and I've carried it with me. I've been studying it off and on trying to decide what it was and where it might have come from. One doesn't find rabbits wearing such finery every day," Lupin told him.

"Algie's rings, Severus?" Dumbledore queried.

"You've been feeling ill. Has it gotten worse Remus?" the Potions Master ignored the Headmaster for the moment.

"Well, yes, I went to Madame Pomfrey before I came up here to get more potion for my stomach. Fever started this morning, too," Lupin said. "But the potions have taken care of the problem."

"No, the potion won't take care of the problem," the wizard muttered. "Stand up, Remus. Please," he added when Lupin was slow.

"Severus. Explain what this is about!" Dumbledore firmly demanded.

Finally looking at the Headmaster Snape answered. "Algernon Flynn was a death eater during the first reign. He brewed potions, developed hexes, for Voldemort. Algie wanted to rise in the ranks but he just didn't have the abilities. His great 'creation' was to poison metal with a variety of low-level curses that caused an influenza-like illness," Snape used a quill to flip the ring over.

"Actually, it was an admirable idea. Muggles and magic folk would pick up the trinkets and pocket them. After a few days they'd become ill. The illnesses weren't contagious, but the trinkets could be passed around a family or bar and infect many people. The longer the exposure, the more quickly the poison took hold," the Potions Master explained.

"Once the trinket was passed off the person would get better, right?" Lupin asked nervously.

"No. It's a curse, it must be terminated by a counter curse. People eventually die," Snape said very quietly.

"Severus, you know the counter curse?" Dumbledore asked quickly.

"Yes. I do," Snape shifted closer to Lupin. "It was Algie's coup d' grace, so to speak. I need to hold you, Remus. Sorry," he lifted his arms and held the DADA professor snugly against his body, nuzzling his face into his hair and neck. He began whispering a complicated charm.

As Dumbledore watched Lupin appeared to stiffen and a glow encircled both men. Lupin's head rolled back, mouth slack, eyes closed and a mist seemed to rise up above them swirling in a lazy vortex. Raising his right hand Snape flicked a pulse of energy and the mist evaporated. He pulled back from Lupin.

The Headmaster realized Lupin looked wonderful; smiling, bright eyed and free from illness. Snape, on the other hand, looked gray and drawn. Dumbledore rose from his desk.

"Better, Remus?" Snape asked.

"I feel great! Like you've filled me with your energy," Lupin said happily.

"Good," Snape smiled and slipped unconscious to the floor.


	16. A Promise to be Better 16

A Promise to be Better 16

Author: Raven Dancer

disclaimer: All characters belong to J.K. Rowling except for the Drs. Barnes and Beryl. I receive no monetary compensation for these works.

Summary: Contingency Planning

The heads of houses, Hagrid, Filch and Madame Pomfrey were called to the Headmaster's office after lunch. McGonagall walked in and immediately caught sight of the Healer from Hogsmeade bending over Professor Snape. Dumbledore was sitting next to the couch, waiting. The Potions Master was asleep, or unconscious, on the Headmaster's couch. She moved over to the table to join the rest of the staff.

"What happened to him?" McGonagall whispered to Flitwick. The charms professor simply shrugged. She accepted a cup of tea from Lupin and waited for the Headmaster to join them.

The Healer quietly spoke to the Dumbledore. A couple questions, a little more discussion. Finally the Headmaster pushed up and with the Healer moved to the table to take their seats.

"Thank you for all being so prompt," Dumbledore began, accepting tea from Lupin. "I would not disturb your weekend but this is of great importance." He looked at each person that sat at the table. There was no humorous twinkle in those blue eyes.

"Lord Voldemort has set on us a most dangerous weapon," he stated. "I was hoping Severus would be able to explain this to you all," he glanced at the sleeping wizard, curled under several blankets, "but it doesn't look like he'll be waking anytime soon."

Dumbledore related the background on Algie's rings to the assembled staff and Healer. He had Lupin describe how he found his particular ring and the effects it had on him until Snape had performed the counter-curse. The golden circlet was levitated around the table so all could have a good look.

"I haven't seen any, Headmaster," Hagrid said as he peered at the trinket. It would just fit into the palm of his hand whereas it would make a bracelet for McGonagall or Sprout.

"You'd be the most likely one to find the rings, Hagrid. You're in and out of the forest all the time," Lupin remarked.

"That may be true, but if these are attached to rabbits or other animals," Sprout interjected, " then they'd most likely be found out on the fields or by the lake. The dying animals would come down for a drink," she hypothesized.

"I did find this rabbit near a streamlet," Lupin reported.

Movement on the couch caught his attention; Flitwick followed his gaze. Snape was waking, seeming to be fighting against something.

"Professor Snape," Flitwick began but before he continued both Barnes and Dumbledore were up, going to the couch. The others moved around a bit so they could seT what would happen.

"He really shouldn't be waking yet, Albus," Barnes said as he sat by his patient beginning to scan his vitals.

"Could it be a nightmare?" Dumbledore asked, quelling his desire to reach out to soothe the unsettled man.

"It could, but he seems to be in pain," Barnes ran hands over his patient's torso searching for the problem, finally slipping over his arms. He stopped, then pulled out the left arm.

"Albus?" the Potions Master's soft voice called. Eyes slowly opened, still exhausted.

"Hullo Severus," Dumbledore reached over and cupped his face, drawing his eyes to him. The wizard grimaced through a spasm, then tried to move his left arm to the Headmaster.

The mark was once more dark and angry. As the older man covered it with his hand and performed the terminus curse he wondered how long Voldemort would keep calling. Snape visibly relaxed as the pain eased off.

"Thank you, Albus," he sighed in relief. He continued to look at the Headmaster who in turn softly comforted him.

The 'audience' was surprised at this side of the Potions Master. They all knew Snape had been a death eater. With the exception of Lupin and Barnes all had been at the school during the first uprising and fall of the Dark Lord. All also knew he'd been a spy. But only Lupin and Barnes had known he'd been back to the evil creature this summer and school term.

Now all knew Snape was being called; they'd seen the dark, burning mark. Each had questions, but wisely stayed quiet. It had not occurred to most of them Voldemort would call for Snape since he'd come back into a body.

"Severus, are you well enough to talk? We need to know

how to protect ourselves from those rings," Dumbledore asked as he continued to run a long finger up and down Snape's cheek. Drowsy eyes regarded the older man.

"Help me sit up?" Snape asked and soon felt warm covers pulled away as his body moved upright. He shivered. The cold would keep him awake long enough to answer the Headmaster's questions.

"Come to the table, Severus. Have some tea with us," Barnes encouraged him to stand and between the two wizards Snape moved towards the table. With a confused expression he looked at the other people already seated.

"I called the key staff together to warn them of the rings, Severus," Dumbledore said quietly as he passed his own cup of warm tea to the Potions Master. Snape used two hands to raise the liquid to his lips; he trembled too much for one.

"What do you need to know," he asked softly. Barnes took his tea cup and poured something out of a small vial into it before adding a little more tea and sugar. Without so much as a questioning glance Snape took the cup and took a long pull.

"How can we move the rings, Sev?" asked Hagrid, "without gettin' sick ourselves?"

"You'll need thick leather or dragon hide gloves and bags. The ring has to make skin contact," Snape took another long sip of tea, "but it can also work through thinner clothes or loose weave. Barnes added more tea to the cup, then added cream. This gained him a glance. Barnes shrugged.

"You can levitate them, although it's hard not to grab one if it starts to fall," the Potions Master commented, then yawned, apologizing. "Plus, it might not be a circlet. It could be a chain or token. Just has to be gold," he yawned again.

"Do you know of any charms to remove the curse?" Flitwick asked.

"No, I wasn't around when Flynn developed the curse; I just helped test it on different objects. He could only get the curses to stick on pure gold. A rather expensive attack. But something Voldemort took a fancy to. It had just been released in one small town as a test," Snape reported, eyes starting to close.

"I can teach you the counter-curse," yawning, eyes slipped closed as he started to lean back into his chair. Barnes waved his wand, reclining the chair slightly.

"Oops, sorry. Potion worked a little quicker than I anticipated," the Healer admitted, levitating some of the blankets from the couch to cover the now dozing man.

"What happened to him, Albus?" McGonagall finally asked.

"Suffice to say the counter-curse requires a lot of energy," Barnes said. "He threw the curse off of Remus around 11:30 this morning. It completely drained him."

"I certainly felt, and still feel, completely invigorated," Lupin reported.

"It sounds as if this Flynn wanted to be sure the healer would not be able to help more than one person at a time," McGonagall remarked.

This was an unsettling observation.

"Do ya want me to organize a search, Albus?" Hagrid asked.

"I think you should just be more aware while you're out and about, Hagrid. We all need to be on the lookout for any unusual trinkets lying around. Or for any sick or dead animals," the Headmaster said.

"I see quite a few small animals out and in by the green houses," Sprout said, "but none that appear ill. I'll set out some pans of water and see what comes up."

"What about the students and the rest of the staff?" Flitwick asked.

"You need to make a general announcement at dinner tonight, Albus. Then go into some detail at a more formal staff meeting. Get people watching out for the problem."

"I agree with Frederick," McGonagall put in. "I think the students need to know what to watch out for. Hopefully no one has picked up anything besides Remus."

Dumbledore agreed and together they decided how much to tell the students and staff. The house elves were to be told. Dr. Barnes would bring the message back to Hogsmeade and spread it among the wizarding community there. Finally, an owl would be sent to the Ministry regarding the deadly objects. With decisions made, most of the staff left.

After she stood up, McGonagall stopped by Snape's chair. She gently pushed hair from his mouth.

"Sorry, Severus," she whispered, cupping the sleeping face. Turning, she left with Filch.

Lupin hung back, helping Barnes move the sleeping man back to the couch. Blankets were tucked in and lightly warmed. When everyone else save Barnes had left, Lupin turned to Dumbledore.

"You know, Albus, we could really use some help guarding the school," Lupin said.

"Yes, we do," the Headmaster agreed. "I take it you have a suggestion?"

"Yes. Sirius Black," Lupin stated. "He could easily patrol the forest aïnd fields in his animagus form. He could stay with me in my rooms at night."

"Pass him off as a pet of yours?" Barnes asked, his face completely passive as he fussed over his sleeping patient.

"I could say I use him to hunt for certain creatures to use for my classes, yes. That would be a good cover story. He could have run of the place," Lupin suggested.

Dumbledore considered the suggestion. "It would be good to have another set of eyes devoted to this problem and to watch the school grounds," he allowed. "Plus, you'd have your best friend here," the Headmaster teased.

"Never crossed my mind," Lupin grinned.

"I've missed Sirius. All those years I could not believe he'd had anything to do with the Potters' death even though the evidence was so overwhelming against him," Dumbledore mused. "It would be good to have him around. A little like old times, eh?"

Lupin smiled happily, "Yes, like old times."

Barnes looked from wizard to wizard. He'd heard a lot about the 'old times' from Snape. He'd also heard about the 'old times' from Dumbledore, too. The Healer knew it would be prudent to have the animagus here, protecting the school. But would it be good for Snape? Gently he stroked hair back and looked at the face slack in sleep.

Somehow Barnes didn't think so.

Dumbledore and Lupin had continued their happy conversation. Lupin was going to go prepare a note to send by owl to Black. The Healer watched the DADA professor leave the rooms for his office. He glanced up at Dumbledore.

"Black. Here. You're sure about this?" Barnes asked as unemotionally as possible.

"I trust Black," the Headmaster said simply.

"It's not a matter of trust, Albus. I meant more along the lines of Severus's reaction. He's still fragile, no matter show much progress he seems to have made. You'll have to keep Black under control, away from him as much as possible. Remember what I said about being there for Severus? I don't know how well he'll take to Black coming here especially if you make a fuss of it," Barnes would have continued, but decided against it. Dumbledore was wearing his 'patient' expression. Meaning, at least to Barnes, he wasn't entertaining any of Barnes' objections.

"Now, Jeffrey, everything will be fine. Severus will be down in his dungeons and Black will be out in the fields. They will not cross paths!" Dumbledore assured him.

"And Severus will have priority in access to you?" the Healer asked pointedly.

"Of course," the Headmaster assured with a warm smile.

Barnes half-heartedly returned the smile and returned to checking his patient's vital signs.

He was not assured.


	17. A Promise to be Better 17

A Promise to be Better 17

Author: Raven Dancer

disclaimer: All characters belong to J.K. Rowling except for the Drs. Barnes and Beryl. I receive no monetary compensation for these works.

Summary: Snape worries about Snuffles' return.

Sirius Black arrived within the week, loping up the stairs of the castle in search of Professor Lupin. The school population was at lunch and the sight of the large black dog walking into the great hall barely caused a ripple.

Harry was thrilled, petting the animal as it licked him thoroughly. Then swiped his sandwich. With happy laughter several Gryffindors fed sandwiches to the dog.

At the staff table Dumbledore smiled warmly. Snape watched the older man's eyes sparkled. Truly pleased to have Black back at Hogwarts. Of course. The dream team, Snape thought uncomfortably. Yes, there were only two of them left, but James Potter lived on in his son. His young friends would easily fit into the old group.

Setting down his napkin, his stomach revolting against the little he'd already eaten, Snape folded his arms tightly against his torso. Lupin, who'd watched Black's return, saw Dumbledore's response then glanced at his right at Snape.

Not good. He forgot about that, the hatred between the two men.

"Severus? Are you ok?" he asked gently, his hand brushed against Snape's shoulder as he leaned closer. Snape's gaze jerked to Lupin, his eyes a little too wide at first, then they focused.

"I expect so. Stomach seems a bit off, though," the Potions Master replied.

"I understand, Severus. Don't worry, I'll keep a very close eye on that dog of mine," Lupin promised as he poured out more tea.

"Thank you. I don't know how well I'll tolerate a dog right now. That one in particular never liked me much," Snape admitted. "Not that I ever treated him especially well."

Lupin sized Snape up. That was as close to Snape admitting culpability in the feud that sprung up between them years before. "If I recall, none of us were particularly laudable. The only difference was Gryffindor was favored and you weren't.

This caused Snape to start, staring at Lupin in amazement.

"Of course, Severus, I understand it now, twenty years later. At the time I didn't. For what it's worÄth, I'm very sorry about hurting you back then, no matter what the reason," Lupin left his hand on Snape's shoulder, feeling the turmoil roiling inside. Snape finally released himself, lifted his hand to touch Lupin's.

"Thank you, it means a great deal to me. I'm also sorry I hurt you and your friends. I just didn't know any other way to handle the situation then," the Potions Master admitted.

A low growl caught their attention and glancing back both saw 'the dog'.

"Hullo, Snuffles," Lupin said affectionately, petting his head.

"Hello, Snuffles," Snape managed to get out with some sincerity. If Lupin was apologizing and willing to forgive, then perhaps Black, too had grown up some. They would never be friends, but Snape imagined they could work well enough together in the war ahead. He picked up his tea to sip.

Snuffles chose that time to nose between the two wizards and the hot tea spilled down Snape's robes. A couple staff caught the gaffe and laughed.

"Smart pooch, timed that well!" snorted Vector.

"Remind me not to invite you and your dog to tea, Lupin," teased Flitwick.

Lupin immediately cast a cooling charm and then dried the robe with a second charm.

"Bad Snuffles!" he admonished the dog, who was doing his level best to look remorseful. Snape merely looked at the dog with great distrust. Lupin had changed, but had Black?

"An accident, Snuffles?" Dumbledore voice broke in, once more smoothing over the action of the Gryffindor. Snape sighed softly and accepted a fresh cup of tea and apologetical smile from Lupin.

"I'll take your dog with me, Professor Lupin, for the afternoon. Come collect him after your last class," the Headmaster said amiable, tuggiûng on the dog's collar. Lolling his tongue in a toothy smile, Snuffles followed Dumbledore.

"I'm sorry, Severus. I will talk with him. I can't believe he'd actually have spilled the tea on purpose," he sipped his own tea a moment. "Then again, I can." he admitted.

"It's ok, Remus. I will work very hard to get along with your pet. I may not come up as often, though. He's a dog and needs access to the grounds," Snape said quietly, condemning himself to the lower levels.

"He'll be out and about, but you need to get to the Headmaster freely. I doubt very much he'll be in with Dumbledore often, possibly once a day to touch base at the most," Lupin whispered back.

Snape hid in his offices after classes, not returning to the Headmaster's offices as he had done each afternoon after teaching. He was suppose to; Barnes did not want him to be alone for the time being. But the possibility of èhaving to see Black was enough for the Potions Master to stay downstairs; he reorganized his supply cupboard for the afternoon.

He'd just finished dusting off the tiger shark teeth when there was a knock at the door. Probably the Headmaster, he thought. He opened the door to Dr. Barnes.

"So, Severus, doing some cleaning, I see," the Healer smiled and entered the office noting the cloth in his hand.

"I haven't gone through my supplies for quite a while," Snape said quietly.

"No, you haven't," Barnes agreed, looking at the dirty cloths tossed aside for the house elves. "Do you want some help?" he asked.

Snape was slightly surprised. He had expected to be chastised for not going upstairs. But Barnes moved across the room and picked up a cloth. Together they finished cleaning the section Snape was on.

"You have a good stock of ingredients, Severus," Barnes remarked.

"I keep a loth of nonperishable items on hand. Some of the advanced students come up with interesting ideas for potions," the wizard replied.

"Now, why don't we talk about why you're still down here in the dungeons and not up with the Headmaster, where you should be," the Healer smiled brightly, taking all the dirty cloths and adding them to the pile in the corner.

"I needed to clean," Snape said weakly.

"Of course. Then Black's being here had no bearing on it?" Barnes tended to go to the heart of the matter. Snape turned away, pretending to be interested in a bottle of dried gecko.

Barnes waited. They'd talked now for over a month, often enough for him to know when to wait and when to push. Snape set the bottle down.

"I'm not sure how I feel about Black being here," Snape said very quietly.

"Brings back some unpleasant memories?" the Healer suggestively asked.

"Yes," soft reply.

"Tell me," Barnes asked, not moving. He wondered how long until the wizard answered.

Snape stood still, then moved to the chairs near the hearth. The Healer carefully tooled his face so as not to smile. Snape was moving to a position of safety; he'd sit, Barnes would sit and then they'd lean closer together, the wizard would whisper secrets from his past. Safe yet very vulnerable.

Barnes followed quietly and was almost surprised when Snape reached for his hand. Another small concession of extreme vulnerability. The Healer had noted that as the physical torture from Voldemort continued, Snape's need for comfort had increased tenfold. His father had suggested the extreme pain had removed the emotional blocks.

Of course, only Barnes and Dumbledore saw this side of Snape. He was very careful not seek help in any shape or form õin a public setting. Although some people had noticed. Lupin first and foremost. Then the staff at the meeting the previous week. And Trelawney; couldn't discount that witch's ability to read the people around her. All those that had noticed kept it to themselves. No new rumors had sprung up.

"I saw how Albus looked, when Black came in. All the memories on his face, Jeffrey. He loved those Gryffindors more than anything else. Now he has the old marauders together again, Black, Lupin and Potter," Snape said softly, not looking at Barnes at all.

"Yes, in a sense, they are back Severus. But it's different now. James is dead. Lupin and Black have grown older just as you have," the Healer offered.

"It's different and it's the same all over. When the tea spilled it was 'just an accident," Snape trembled a bit, trying not to whine.

"You think he did it on purpose?" Barnes asked. Snape was very quiet. "Severus, did he spill it on purpose?"

"I don't know," the Potions Master started then hardened, "yes, I think he did it on purpose."

"Why?" Barnes followed up quickly.

"Just to tease me, make me look stupid. That's mostly what Black and Potter did back in school. If I retaliated I usually got in trouble. Always the comparison between the silly pranks and my evil harassment," Snape flushed in remembered anger.

"I understand, Severus," Barnes said simply, sending a small warmth of energy. "Do you know even Albus said he'd been unfair to you? It was very unfair."

Snape looked up into the Healer's eyes. "Albus said he'd been unfair?"

"Yes, Severus. He did," Barnes let the information settle on the Potions Master.

"It just brought back all those memories, when he spilled the tea," Snape said. Barnes continued to send a thin stream of warmth through the wizard.

"Severus, I know you're very worried about this. Just remember Albus will try to be fair. Try to understand he's human, though. Black has gone through a lot, between Azkaban and all. The Headmaster will be sympathetic to him, too. Black deserves a sympathetic ear. If you get angry, feel you can't talk with Albus for any reason, call me. See me. I'm going to be right there for you no matter what, ok?" Barnes gained eye contact.

"You won't be seeing Black, too, will you?" the wizard asked.

"No, I won't. You're my patient. I'll take care of you. If Black needs some type of help Albus can arrange it with my father," Barnes promised. For the Healer it was not an idle promise. He would not work with Black. Snape was his first concern.

"I feel a little silly, like asking you to take sides when there's no sides to take," Snape admitted.

"That's ok, Severus," Barnes sent more healing warmth into the wizard, letting him settle in the chair and calm down.

A movement at the door caught the Healer's eye. The Headmaster came in quietly.

"Well, Severus, I was wondering where you'd gone to. I realized after slogging through the afternoon owls you hadn't claimed your spot on the couch," the Headmaster put his hands on Snape's shoulders gently rubbing at the lessening tension.

"I was cleaning my supplies area," the Potions Master said quietly.

Dumbledore looked over the shelves; mostly dusted and straightened. At least he'd kept busy.

"Ah. Good. Let's wash for dinner. You can come up after with me and read," the Headmaster replied. He waited until Snape stood up and pulled him into a hug. The wizard responded, hugging back.

"Dinner. The house elves have been busy," Dumbledore said, releasing his friend.

As Barnes stood he thought he saw movement again at the door, a dark shadow darting by. But when they walked out there was nothing to be seen. Must have been a trick of the torch light. Or Peeves. Discarding the thought Barnes followed the two wizards up to dinner.


	18. A Promise to be Better 18

A Promise to Be Better 18

author: Raven Dancer

Disclaimer: All characters belong to J.K. Rowling except for the Drs. Barnes and Beryl. I receive no monetary compensation for these works.

summary: Sirius ponderings.

Sirius Black threw himself down on the clean bed. Such a luxury after years of filthy cells, then sleeping on the dirt in various places. Lupin's place was rustic, but much better than the prison cell. A Hogwarts' professor's rooms? Unheard of luxury. He'd had a hot bath and dinner. Now he waited for Lupin to return.

He had taken part of the afternoon to refamiliarize himself with the castle, running up and down the stairs. Students had mostly been kind to the large black dog, petting him and slipping him treats.

Of course he'd slipped down to the dungeons and was rather ashamed of his spying. Black had heard very little of the conversation between the Snape and the Healer, just enough to know the Snape was worried about him being back. Not the Snape. Just Snape. Dumbledore had been very firm on that. No harassing Snape. No taunting Snape.

But what was with the hug? And why was the Snape talking with a shrink? Had Dumbledore managed to tame the evil git? He was a Death Eater! Did the old man really believe a death eater could reform? He wondered idly if the Headmaster knew, then cast the thought aside. Of course he knew. Didn't Dumbledore just tell him a few months back the Snape had been a spy? Yes, that's right.

Black rubbed his temples. Being so alone for so long with only the dementors had left him a little forgetful at times. He had to work to separate his own musings with reality since he'd escaped. Of course, he did not forget all those things the Snape had done to him and his friends when they were at Hogwarts. Nasty stuff. Things the dementors weren't interested in and left for him to ruminate on.

Dumbledore had said they were all just childish pranks; some had gone a little far, but all in all only pranks. Black felt the incident at the shrieking shack had probably 'gone a little far' in the old man's eyes. But Black thought it justified.

Memories were rattling around his head. Some good memories were coming back now that he'd been away from the dementors for awhile. He'd despaired of ever having a happy thought again after 12 years being sucked dry.

Yet they'd returned, very tentatively at first. Of Harry as a baby primarily. Playing, holding, being near his godson. Just being with him last June for a few hours had helped trigger them. After nearly a year of freedom, hiding with Lupin, he hadn't had any spontaneous pleasant memories. Even with Lupin telling him stories of old times, good times, he couldn't generate any. But Harry had.

Now he could slip into good memories easily. He recognized that some weren't real, just wishes. But that was ok, too. Just being back at Hogwarts evoked a warm wash of emotions. It was a good thing dogs don't cry like humans. Tears running down his doggy face weren't suspect; although some of the kids admonished him to see Madame Pomfrey as if he had a cold.

Lupin came up from dinner as soon as he could. He found Black lost in pleasant memories. With a smile he closed the door and hung his cloak.

"A sickle for your thoughts, Sirius," he asked with a grin.

"Remembering our days at Hogwarts, Moony," he returned with his own lopsided grin. He rolled onto his stomach and watched his friend relax by the fire.

"Remember all the fun we had? We practically ruled the school," he laughed at the memories.

""Hmm, I seem to recall Dumbledore ruled the school, then and now," Lupin replied with a chuckle.

"Well, we were his favorites," Black retorted with a sly smile.

"Dumbledore have favorites?" Lupin asked.

Black only grinned and sat up.

"Say, let's have some fun, for old times sake. We could go plant a few dungbombs in the potions lab," Black suggested casually. Lupin carefully crossed his legs and leaned back.

"No, let's not," Lupin replied calmly.

"Oh, come on, Moony. It's just for a laugh," Black tried his most winning smile.

"Sorry, old Padfoot. It was funny, it's a wonderful memory. But I couldn't taunt Severus anymore," Lupin said.

Severus? Since when was Lupin on first name basis with the Snape? He let this thought sit in his head next to the vision of Dumbledore actually touching the slimy git.

"Come on, Sirius, things have changed. Didn't Albus talk to you about Severus? I know he cautioned you about teasing him," Lupin playfully tossed a pillow at the lounging man.

"He said not to harass Snape," Black enunciated carefully. "A couple harmless jokes, just for old times, that's all!" Black pleaded.

"No! Don't be silly, Sirius! We have to protect the students from Voldemort's attacks. Harassing Severus will only benefit that evil creature," Lupin asserted.

Black could not see how a joke, a good belly laugh, would help he-who-is-not-named's cause. But he didn't pursue the matter. Lupin was not going to tease Snape, at least not now.

"Severus?" the wizard instead questioned. "Since when did the Snape become 'Severus'?"

"A lot of things have changed since you went into Azkaban. You weren't here to see them. You'll just have to trust me for now, Severus is on our side. He's been through hell and needs some understanding," Lupin appealed to his friend.

The Snape needed understanding? The Snape had been through hell? That was rich. He'd spent over 12 years in hell, thank you very much. No way could the Snape's little trials be compared to that! Lupin must have read his mind.

"What you've been through and what Severus has gone through can't be compared, Padfoot. Both are horrible in their own ways. Severus said he'd try very hard to work with you. Can't you try, too?" Lupin again tried to appeal to Black.

Black shrugged. "I guess. Both you and the old man have been pretty adamant about it. So, yes Moony, I'll try to work with Snape," the name nearly rolled off his tongue in disgust and he had to try very hard to make it sound normal.

Lupin looked at his friend. Maybe he'd made a mistake, convincing Dumbledore to bring Black here. Oh, Black! had made great strides regaining himself, remembering who he was and being able to comport with reality once more. But he still hated Snape. That was very clear. The dementors had left him with only the darkness to contemplate all those years.

"Come on, Padfoot, let's play some exploding snaps," he held up the special cards and smiled. Black shook his head, as if clearing away the thoughts, and returned the smile.

"Sounds like fun, Moony!" he moved over to the hearth rug to play cards.

Morning came, as it generally did after night ended. Black found himself back up in Dumbledore's office seeking any additional directions. The old man looked a bit tired, hadn't changed into his robes for the day. But he'd directed the animagus to a chair while he rang a bell for the house elves.

Before the older man came back to his desk the bedroom door opened and Black's jaw dropped when the Snape himself came out. Still in sleep clothes. No bed jacket. Looking more tired than the Headmaster. Left arm was held out and the older man touched it gently as he whispered to the evil git.

Then gathered the Snape into his embrace and held him gently, patting his back and whispering gods know what into his ear. When they broke apart the Snape noticed him and blanched before carefully tooling his face into neutrality.

"Good morning, Sirius," Snape managed.

Black nodded, preferring to not say the Snape's name aloud. He watched Dumbledore smile happily and propel the slimy git over to the table where an elf was setting out breakfast. Now the older man came back to the desk.

"Severus had a bad night and came up to see me," Dumbledore offered by way of explanation. Black had a few questions, starting with 'what the hell do you think you're doing with that death eater?,' but quelled them effectively enough. The Headmaster watched him carefully, as if reading his very thoughts.

"Severus has every right to come see me when he needs help, Sirius. Don't bother him about it," the older man said firmly.

Black nodded. "I just came by to see if you had any other assignments."

"I need you to watch the forest and patrol the grounds," Dumbledore replied. "Here's a leather pouch Severus made for you to carry any tokens you find. Remember not to touch them!" the Headmaster admonished.

"I won't! Remus told me what happened to him." Black responded, but was thinking more about the Snape than the illness. He placed the pouch around his neck; it was big enough for the circlet the Headmaster had shown him, but small as to not impede him in dog form.

"We've been very fortunate only the one ring has turned up," Dumbledore continued. "and although Dr. Barnes wants to learn the proper counter-curse from Severus first hand, we all hope there are no other tokens!"

Of course a healer would want to learn the counter curses, but the lessons would come from a death eater. How appropriate was that? Snape had healed Lupin; healed him when he didn't have to or even admit he knew the counter curses. It made Black's head hurt slightly as he tried to rectify that in his thought processes.

"Now, it's not all that bad Sirius," Dumbledore soothed, thinking Black was concerned about the threat.

"You will lunch at 'Hagrid's place. Harry at the least will be able to come visit you at that time. You can arrange to meet him there or in Lupin's chambers tomorrow. There's no quidditch match on so I believe your godson will have most of the day available," the Headmaster smiled softly.

That perked Black up and he grinned eagerly. The thought of being with Harry drove out all his ruminations about the Snape.

"I'm looking forward to that!" Black returned with gusto.

"Good. Then you best be off. Stop by before dinner to see me," Dumbledore said as he stood.

As Black transformed into 'Snuffles' he watched the Headmaster walk over to the table, patting the Snape on the back before sitting down to his breakfast. With that image in his head, the animagus went down to patrol the school grounds.


	19. A Promise to be Better 19

A Promise to be Better 19

Author: Raven Dancer

disclaimer: All characters belong to J.K. Rowling except for the Drs. Barnes and Beryl. I receive no monetary compensation for these works.

Summary: As Snape struggles with his difficulties, he receives support from students and staff alike. Black patrols the school grounds.

For a few days life was very quiet at Hogwarts. Snape taught Friday then spent the bulk of the weekend curled up reading on Dumbledore's couch. Barnes came by Saturday to talk with him.

"You should really let Albus know how you feel, Severus," Barnes commented when the wizard admitted feeling worried.

"But it's silly. Albus has told me what happened all those years ago were just pranks. He said he'd watch what happened between me and Black now. I shouldn't doubt him," Snape said quietly, arms wrapped tightly around his torso. The body language was screaming insecurity and fear.

"If you feel so strongly about it then it isn't silly at all," Barnes tried.

"I should trust Albus. Isn't that what you told me before?" Snape threw out, now staring into the fire, willing himself to believe.

"Sometimes I wish you didn't have so good a memory," the Healer teased his patient. Snape just held up his journal with a wry grin.

"I wrote it down. See?" and he held out the appropriate page. Barnes glanced at it and chuckled.

"Very good, Severus," he handed the journal back, brushing his fingers over the outstretched hand. He wanted to get a better read on Snape's emotional state to determine if he should continue exploring this part of the conversation.

The Potions Master only smiled slightly, then allowed the Healer to take his hand knowing exactly what he wanted to do.

The door opened and the Headmaster walked in, shaking the rain from his cloak. "I, for one, am glad there is no quidditch today!" Dumbledore announced as he moved to the teapot to pour out a hot cup.

"Yes, it would be a miserable game," Barnes agreed. He felt the spike of apprehension from his patient and glanced at him.

"So," Dumbledore sat down across from the two men. "What is the topic? Or am I interrupting?" Barnes squeezed Snape's hand encouragingly.

"Just Sirius and me," Snape said very softly.

"And?" Barnes prompted, getting rewarded with a glare.

"And you, Albus," Snape finished.

Dumbledore sat back slightly. So Snape was still worried about Black coming to Hogwarts. Barnes had warned him in rather strong terms about the Potions Master's insecurities, especially since they'd learned more about his childhood. Even the Headmaster, with all his supposed omnipotence, hadn't known half the truth about Snape's upbringing. In fact, Dumbledore knew there was still more to be unearthed, if they could get Snape to talk about it.

"Have you come any closer to accepting Black being here?" the older man said carefully. Snape squirmed slightly, pulling his hand away from Barnes and put it back on his lap.

"Yes, I trust you, Albus," he said as blandly as possible. Dumbledore smiled warmly, not believing Snape for an instant. There really was nothing to be said; only time and actions would finally assuage the younger wizard's doubts.

"Have you rested? You didn't sleep well last night," The Headmaster changed the topic enough to move away from the uncomfortable subject.

"I've been reading and for the past hour talking with Jeffrey," Snape commented.

"Trouble last night?" Barnes asked.

"Nightmares," Snape reported shortly.

"Voldemort summoned you Thursday night, right?" Barnes asked and received an affirmative nod.

"Once? Twice?" he pursued.

"Three different times, after midnight, after four am and then around eight as we were getting ready for breakfast," Dumbledore answered.

"The lab," Snape added quietly.

"Oh, and just after lunch. I get the feeling Voldemort didn't sleep much, either," the Headmaster concluded.

"That would give me nightmares," Barnes remarked. He held his hand out to the Potions Master again.

"Let's try pulsing you," the Healer said. "Get some of the endorphins moving." Grasping the wizard's hand he pulled Snape over so he was lying on the couch, nestled against the Healer using him as a pillow. Of the various treatments Barnes had tried, the Potions Master preferred this one when he could choose. There were no potions muddling his mind. The Healer's energies soothed him and helped dispel the dark chaos that cluttered his thoughts.

Dumbledore moved closer, too, offering his hand to his friend. The older man knew Snape would soon feel better. Maybe even sleep a bit. Often an hour's worth of nap made a world of difference to Snape's attitude and outlook.

That's where McGonagall found them a little while later; Snape sleeping peacefully while the other two were sipping tea quietly.

"Is he doing better?" she asked. There was no longer any biting edge to her voice.

"He's trying. It's been difficult for him," Dumbledore offered.

"I gather he-who-should-not-be-named hasn't given up, either," the witch said shrewdly.

"No, Voldemort has not," the Headmaster conceded.

"I never thanked you, Albus, for setting me straight. For letting me see last week at the staff meeting what Severus is going through. I did not like what happened to my students, but I understand why Severus was so on edge," she still stood, hands clasped, looking down at the sleeping wizard.

Dumbledore motioned her to a chair and fetched another cup of tea.

"He won't mind?" the witch asked, accepting the tea.

"Oh, he'll probably mind a great deal," Barnes smiled, "but he needs to know he's not alone. Severus is a hard man to convince!"

"Well, Frederick and I have informally begun correcting any rumors we hear. Louise has been keeping an eye on the Slytherins with Hooch. Things have been rather quiet except for that big dog on the grounds," McGonagall touched lightly on the animagus. She knew that it was no ordinary dog; as an animagus herself, she could sense the wizard within.

"Oh, Snuffles. I believe he belongs to Remus Lupin. He mentioned needing a good nose for hunting in the forest," Dumbledore said easily. McGonagall did not press.

Another tap at the door and in popped Hagrid. He was smiling, his calm, unpressing manner filled the room.

"Severus's catching up, I 'spect," he said as he accepted both a chair and a mug of tea.

"Yes, needs his sleep," Barnes concurred as he ran a little more energy through the somnolent wizard. Snape moaned softly as his fingers flexed in the Healer's robes. Hagrid smiled indulgently.

"I'd take 'im in a second if he were strayed," the groundskeeper said. "'cept I'd let 'im go once he woke up."

All four chuckled. Snape's brow furrowed in concentration and Barnes quickly shushed them as he fine tuned his feed, relaxing the wizard once more into sleep.

"That'll hold him a few more minutes," the Healer reported.

"Good, looks off his feed," Hagrid remarked as he reached into one of his many pockets.

"Found 'nother down by the lake this morning," he reported. "Least, I 'spect it is. Gold chain wrapped 'round another rabbit. Easy to catch them." The pouch was handed over to the Headmaster who carefully put it up on the mantle next to a sneakoscope. The circlet had been sent on to the Ministry for analysis.

"Any students turn in a token?" Dumbledore asked. Both witch and groundskeeper said no.

"With any luck at all Lupin found the first object and we got the warning out," Barnes commented.

"Don't believe in luck," Snape suddenly spoke, eyes tightly closed. "I'd rather rely on Hagrid and the dog."

"You were suppose to stay asleep a bit longer, Severus," Barnes chastised the wizard gently. Snape snorted a laugh and tried to sit up. The Healer simply sent a strong surge of energy through him, effectively keeping him curled up on his lap.

From that position the Potions Master opened his eyes. He knew Hagrid and McGonagall were there and he felt a little stupid curled up against the Healer sleeping. But he couldn't change the situation for the time being and continued to hold onto the doctor's robes as a gentle hand ran over his shoulder and back slowly pulsing him with energy.

Snape could see a glimmer of amusement on Hagrid's broad face; some affection on McGonagall's thinner visage. Dumbledore himself was smiling, the acceptance and love dancing in his eyes. With a sigh the Potions Master relaxed and allowed himself to be comforted.

"Hagrid found a chain down by the lake this morning," the Headmaster reported.

"Another rabbit," the big man confirmed.

"Maybe they didn't send many cursed tokens out," McGonagall mused, "or the animals aren't coming out of the forest."

"The last time they sent out 15 pieces; Mostly rabbits and squirrel. The owls wouldn't carry them unless they were wrapped like a letter. An owl is traceable," Snape reported quietly. He felt much better for the nap and the energy.

"Well, between me and the dog we'll walk the grounds daily. See what we can find. Good dog, that," Hagrid said.

Barnes was pleased to note Snape did not react to the mention of Black. The talking and the endorphins had calmed him substantially. The Healer rested his hand against his patient's shoulder as they continued the conversation.

Dumbledore smoothed his beard as he talked, sneaking a glance now and then at the Potions Master. He knew the man was worried, still uneasy about many things. But at the moment all was calm and under control.

McGonagall left first. She was going into Hogsmeade with Vector and wanted to get ready. It was rainy and they'd need to leave early in order to meet a few friends at the Three Broomsticks. Before she left she gently touched Snape's face and wished him a good night. The Potions Master was somewhat taken aback as he looked into her kind eyes. He managed a shaky 'you too' as the witch walked out.

Hagrid followed a short while later. Barnes tended to Snape another hour, not really talking, just running a gentle energy flow. The Potions Master dozed, enjoying the feed, the gentle hands, the warmth.

Dinner was suggested. Barnes declined, wanting to get home. Snape agreed not only to eating but to descending down to the great hall. Chances were the elves would serve a new dish. A surprise would be nice after the relaxing afternoon.

Together Headmaster and Potions Master walked down the stairs and neared the great hall. Filch was waiting next to the dooïrs.

"Headmaster? A word, please," Filch motioned to Dumbledore.

"Go ahead, Severus. Save me a place," he told his companion. With a nod Snape continued past both men and began to walk down the couple steps towards the Slytherins tables. Several students looked up at the professor, waving slightly.

Snape smiled slightly and looked over his house. Somehow he missed the final step and went crashing to the ground. OK, that hurt! He pushed himself up, waiting for the laughter to follow. He'd seen other people, staff and students, fall in a variety of situations and generally they were teased for being clumsy. He recalled several occasions in the past when he'd bore the brunt of the laughter for falling.

But there was no laughter. Malfoy and Stevens, a Slytherins Prefect, were by his side in a flash.

"Sir, are you all right?" Stevens asked with concern.

"Did you twist your ankle?" Malfoy ºadded.

"I'm fine, gentlemen. A missed step," Snape explained, although now he wondered about his fall. Fleetingly he thought he felt something tangle up his feet but he quickly dismissed that notion. No one had been near him.

"You've scrapped your hand," Malfoy pointed out. There was a flurry of robes and Neville Longbottom sidled up to them. Malfoy frowned but Snape looked up at the Gryffindor.

"Hello, Mr. Longbottom. Feel like trying Sprout's spell again?" the older wizard asked, holding out his damaged hand.

"Sh-sure, Professor Snape," Neville managed to eek out. He still didn't know why he'd rushed over when Snape fell, but he was glad he had. Holding the scraped hand he murmured the healing charm.

"Interesting charm, Longbottom," Stevens commented. Malfoy agreed.

"Good job, Longbottom," the normally nasty Draco added.

"Thanks," Neville blushed slightly. The three students rose and assisted the Professor to his fee't.

"Thank you gentlemen. I feel much improved," Snape nodded and moved down the aisle to the staff table.

Monday morning found the Potions Master back in his dungeon working with first years. The dungeons were calm, the children busy with their potions. Snape moved easily along the rows watching them prepare and brew. This were the easiest classes since he hadn't traumatized them too much.

On the way to lunch he nearly tripped again, but a quick thinking pair of Ravenclaw seventh years managed to catch him. Several students expressed concern and two prefects, Stevens from Slytherins and Brown, a Ravenclaw, walked with him through the hallways to the great hall and all the way up to the staff table managing to keep up the pretense they were curious about a potion they wanted to brew on Friday.

*I'd best talk to Barnes about this falling business,* Snape told himself. He pulled out a bit of parchment and marking pen and scribbled a quick note. Stevens was still there, waiting a moment as if expected.

"Would you like me to send that out for you, professor?" he asked in his most unpressing tones. Many of the students in the Slytherins House were concerned about their House Head. They didn't mind his shift, giving points out to other houses and being less sarcastic. In fact, they had benefitted from his change of bearing and personality. There had been a thaw of sorts between houses and less rivalry. He, himself, had been enjoying the company of Cathryn Brown, a Ravenclaw, without the harassment that used to follow intra-house pairings.

"Yes, after you eat if you have time. Send this to Dr. Barnes in Hogsmeade. Use one of the school owls," Snape said, folding the parchment and sealing it with a simple charm.

"Certainly, I'll be near the owlry when I go to history," Stevens tucked the note in his robe and moved back towards his table to eat.

Snape ate lightly, talking with Lupin and McGonagall. The DADA professor managed to slip more soup in his bowl when he answered a question from the witch. More than the Headmaster and the Healer were concerned about the Potions Master.

Lupin raised an eyebrow at McGonagall, indicating the all clear. They finished eating and made sure tea and several cookies landed in front of Snape.

"So, you're trying to fatten me up, too?" Snape said in a bemused tone. Lupin only chuckled without answering. McGonagall patted his shoulder.

"Me? I doubt that, professor," she said in her driest voice.

Snape smiled, a true smile, then sipped his tea and began eating the cookies in front of him.

Malfoy and Goyle hung back, waiting for Professor Snape. When the wizard started towards the doors they fell in step and began to discuss several problems they had 'noticed' with the Slytherins quidditch team. This lasted all the way down to the door of the dungeon lab. The first group of second years, Gryffindors and Hufflepuffs, were setting up or waiting patiently.

As the professor entered the room, away from his escorts, he moved half-way up the aisle towards the dais when he once again lost his footing and pitched forward, his head glancing the corner of a student's table.

There was a quick laugh, one that died immediately as the worried children looked around. Malfoy was at Snape's side gently checking for problems. Goyle stood uncertain.

"Should I get Madame Pomfrey?" Creevy, a second year Gryffindor, asked.

"Yes, hurry. He seems to have been knocked out," Draco said gratefully. Goyle was a loyal friend, but slow on the uptake. Several students moved about bringing cold, wet rags for the older boy's use. With the help of Goyle they carefully rolled Snape onto his back and cleaned around the forming bruise.

Using a cooling charm Draco fashioned a cold pack and had another Gryffindor, looked like Finnegan's sister, to hold it against the swelling. A low moan rose from their professor.

"ssshh, Professor Snape. You've taken a fall. Madzame

Pomfrey is coming," Draco soothed the waking wizard.

Drawing in a deep breath, the Potions Master attempted to open his eyes, but shut them when everything appeared to be spinning in tight circles.

"What happened?" he managed to ask. A cool cloth was gently cleaning his slightly gray face.

"You lost your footing halfway up the aisle, Professor," Draco said carefully. "You hit your head going down, on the temple. There's a bump and some bruising."

"mmmm," was the only reply.

Draco looked up. "What are you studying today?" he asked a student nearby.

"We were starting on energy potions. Today was about animal tonics," she replied quietly.

"Professor Snape was going to teach us potions for our owls and cats," added another child.

Draco nodded. Snape had not taught them specific potions for their pets, but given how the professor had been trying to change it made sense.

"I don't think Professor Snape will be teaching this afternoon," Draco said carefully.

"Maybe we should go research some of the potions in the library? Write a parchment about them?" suggested Finnegan's sister.

"Yes, find out four to six different potions that would work on humans or animals and compare them, how they're alike and different," Draco recalled writing something similar when he studied energy potions three years before.

"I'll write that down," said Goyle, " and post it for the next class, too." Draco nodded in agreement. The students began gathering their things and began leaving for the library.

Pomfrey moved into the dungeons with a panting Creevy. *The kid moves fast*, Goyle thought as he finished writing down the assignment.

"We sent a house elf to Professor Dumbledore," the younger boy reported.

"Good. Finnegan can tell you about your paper," Draco found being in charge easy, although he was extremely happy the nurse was here.

Dumbledore and Dr. Barnes swept into the room next. The Healer went directly to the fallen man while the Headmaster looked about the empty room.

"We told the second years to write a parchment," explained Draco. "I remembered we wrote one on energy potions back in our second year."

Dumbledore nodded. "Good thought. You've posted the assignment for the next class, then?"

Goyle held up the parchment and moved towards the door.

The Headmaster turned his attention back to Draco. "What happened, Mr. Malfoy?"

Draco outlined walking the Potions Master down from lunch, leaving out the fact a group of Slytherins had decided not to leave him alone in the halls if they could help it. He explained how Snape had fallen but wasn't quite sure what he'd tripped over or if his ankle had given out or if he'd been dizzy.

"He went down like he'd lost his footing," Draco concluded.

"Thank you, Mr. Malfoy, for watching out for Professor Snape. You'd best go to your class," the Headmaster said. Draco looked at the fallen wizard.

"I'll send you a note Draco, when we find out how he is," Dumbledore added softly, knowing Draco was concerned.

"He should be fine, Mr. Malfoy. Just a bad bump and a headache, I'm sure," Dr. Barnes said kindly.

Snape finally woke nearly two hours later. He was tucked under warm blankets on the Headmaster's couch. His head hurt and he winced as he opened his eyes.

"Good, I was getting a bit worried about you, Severus," Dr. Barnes moved closer holding a cup and straw. He slid his free arm under Snape's shoulders and lifted him up slowly.

"This is not a good idea," the queasy wizard moaned.

"Sip. It will take care of the nausea and headache," the Healer directed. Tentatively the Potions Master sipped the liquid up the straw. He continued, managing to take in half the cup.

"You've learned how to use sweetener I see," Snape grumbled.

"Just followed directions. Finish," Barnes directed, proffering the straw again. The ill wizard resumed and suckled up the remaining potion. Barnes set the empty cup aside and lowered his patient back onto the pillows.

"It wasn't too bad a bump, Severus. Just enough to make you very woozy," the Healer checked the injury, now reduced and barely discernible. The potion would help out the inner ear's balance.

"Do you mind telling me what happened?" Snape asked.

Barnes looked up sharply, "Don't remember?" he asked.

"Well, I walked into the dungeons and I recall falling. Mr. Malfoy seemed to be there at one point," the wizard swallowed, closing his eyes hoping the potion would hurry up and take effect before he lost the contents of his stomach.

Barnes carefully placed a hand on the roiling stomach willing it to calm down.

"You fell, hit your head against a table. Had a marvelous knot on your left temple. Mr. Malfoy got an ice pack on it quick enough. Then he and Mr. Goyle gave your second years an assignment on energy potions. Albus agreed, by the way, and we brought you up here," Barnes concluded.

"I nearly fell before lunch, too. I sent you a note," Snape opened an eye to look at the Healer.

"Yes, I had received it just before 12:30 and came over to see you about that. I'd run into Albus and missed you at lunch," Barnes explained.

"Stevens must have sent the owl before he ate," Snape mused. It was a nice gesture.

"I want to scan you, feel well enough to be moved?" Barnes inquired. Snape opened both eyes and thought about it.

"Yes, actually, the nausea is gone," Snape seemed surprised.

With a slight chuckle the Healer moved blankets away and levitated his patient.

"It's cold!" Snape complained, wanting his blankets back.

"Want some cheese with that whine?" Barnes teased, earning a sharp glare.

"Don't worry, I'll bring your blankies," he continued, bringing both his patient and covers to the lounge. The Healer reclined back and settled Snape over him then arranged the covers.

Although the Potions Master felt silly when the Healer did this he snugged down into the warm body and sighed happily as the covers were magically heated. Barnes mentally noted the wizard was chilled before beginning his scan.

When Dumbledore returned the two men were still wrapped up together in the gathering gloom. He waved on lights and pulled a chair near them. From the sound of it the Healer had also fallen asleep. The Headmaster quelled a snicker, but before he could sit down his office door opened and a large black dog bounded in.

"Hello, Sirius," the Headmaster greeted. He watched Black transform into his human form. The animagus glanced over the two men sprawled together with a quizzical, and disapproving, look.

"Severus fell again today. Nasty crack to his head. Dr. Barnes came over from Hogsmeade to work on him," Dumbledore said by way of explanation.

"Pretty comfy," Black managed. Dumbledore was confused at first, then pulled back a little surprised.

"Sirius, Dr. Barnes is a full Healer. He scans his patients and works on his patients through energy bursts. He's just fallen asleep working on Severus," the Headmaster further explained. Black looked on, rather dubious. Dumbledore changed the topic.

"Anything to report?" he asked indicating Black should take a chair.

"Hagrid and I each found a token today," the animagus took the leather pouch off of his neck and held it out to the Headmaster. He sat on the edge of the chair uncomfortable in the room. Especially with Snape lying before him sound asleep.

"Both animals were dead, a rabbit and a squirrel," he continued shifting his eyes to the Headmaster. "Hagrid has the students looking when they come out for classes with him and Professor Sprout."

"That makes four," sighed Dumbledore. Black fidgeted and then stood up.

"I'm going to see Remus," he said. "I'll stop by tomorrow afternoon." Black moved towards the door, shifting back into his animagus form before any protests could be made. He slipped out quickly.

"Well, he certainly wasn't friendly tonight," Dr. Barnes dryly observed from under his patient.

"Oh, Sirius still isn't happy about Severus being in my confidence," Dumbledore tossed out.

"Why don't I trust him?" mused the Healer. "If I didn't know he was out patrolling I'd say he had something to do with Severus's rash of trips." Dumbledore just stared at the younger man with a hint of exasperation.

"You've been talking with Severus too long, Jeffrey!" the Headmaster snapped. "Did he suggest that to you?"

"No, he hasn't said a word about Black," Barnes quickly said. "He was worried he was blacking out as a residual effect of too many curses." The older man's face soften slightly.

"Good. Sirius promised he would not harass Severus. I trust him completely," Dumbledore said firmly. Now that he'd set Barnes straight he leaned over and gently stroked Snape's hair.

"How's he doing?" he asked quietly.

"Fine. Just a little nauseated when he woke. He'll be back teaching in the morning," the Healer reported. "He's still chilled though. He should probably sleep with you for the night if that's ok."

"Of course," Dumbledore.


	20. A Promise to be Better 20

A Promise to be Better 20

Author: Raven Dancer

disclaimer: All characters belong to J.K. Rowling except for the Drs. Barnes and Beryl. I receive no monetary compensation for these works.

Summary: Saturday tutoring

Starting the very next morning Snape noted he had an escort. His entire house coordinated their schedules and at least two students were always with him asking innocuous questions about potions class or seeking help with a variety of personal problems. Snape was not dense; he knew the children were watching out for him. Instead of being angry at the intrusion, he was secretly pleased and tolerated the company.

By Thursday afternoon the student entourage included an occasional Gryffindor or Ravenclaw. Neville and Hermione were talking with him after class to arrange a tutoring session the following Saturday when several 7th year students came in for "help" on their potions work.

Snape invited the lot into his office for tea while they went over their notes. He noted a little grin between Longbottom and the Ravenclaw prefect as the Gryffindor fifth years left. Shaking his head he ordered up some snacks to round out the tea. Beryl bounced about causing much laughter with his antics.

Dumbledore was glad to see the growing rapport between the Potions Master and the students. Certainly some students did not care for the wizard, but enough had come to accept him and enjoy his company. He also noted Snape did not so much as stumble now that he had his helpers and wondered briefly if Peeves had been tormenting the professor. He made a mental note to ask the Bloody Baron when he had the opportunity.

On Friday Snape was tired. Too many bad dreams, even with a warm bed, plagued him. He managed to get up to the great hall for breakfast, sitting quietly while he sipped hot tea.

"Hey, Severus, up late last night?" Lupin gently inquired.

"Just a little trouble sleeping," he admitted fairly easily to the DADA professor. Glancing across the hall he saw Snuffles walk in, tail wagging.

"Lucky dog. He gets all the choicest bits," Snape sneered as several students offered bits of bacon and sausage ﬁto the animagus.

"You wouldn't believe the half of it!" Lupin laughed. "He has the starving act down to a science."

The dog in question looked up and saw Lupin smiling and talking with the Snape. *Why he insists on being friends with that git* Black grumbled to himself as he took another piece of buttered scone. He moved up to the staff table, skirting McGonagall who seemed to know he wasn't just an ordinary dog.

Lupin petted him, but Snape refrained. The slight lift of the upper lip, exposing several sharp teeth, seemed a little threatening. Lupin swatted the dog playfully and told him to be good. Chuffing, Black moved stiffly away.

"I'm not causing you two any problems am I?" Snape asked uncertain. "I don't have to sit here, if you'd rather."

"Severus!" Lupin chastised, "that dog has to get over his jealousy or whatever he's feeling about you."

"Snuffles is jealous of Severus?" McGonagall asked innocently. "How interesting."

Lupin had a 'caught in the headlights' look. Snape acted a little more quickly.

"I won't share my breakfast with him. I think the dog decides who it likes based on the quality of the table treats," the Potions Master responded. McGonagall just smirked, but she left the topic alone.

With a sneer worthy of Snape, Snuffles walked passed both wizards and headed for the front doors.

Saturday morning Snape looked worse. Lupin sat quietly by him at the table and poured tea out for both of them.

"More nightmares?" he asked quietly. Snape merely nodded and attempted to sip the tea. His exhaustion was quickly noticed by those around him. When Dumbledore came in to eat he hesitated, then stopped. He carefully created more space between Snape and the end of the table, sliding a new chair into place. Glancing at Lupin he sat down.

"Well, Severus, I haven't seen you for a couple days," Dumbledore arranged his napkin and reached for a helping of scrambled eggs. Snape didn't respond.

"Been busy?" the Headmaster continued, spearing some sausage.

"Not really. Tutoring Granger and Longbottom this morning," the wizard replied quietly.

"Tired?" Dumbledore pressed gently.

"Trouble sleeping," was all Snape would say.

"Nightmares both Thursday and last night," Lupin offered, knowing Snape wouldn't elaborated. Dumbledore looked at Snape carefully.

"You could have come up to see me, Severus. I would have helped," the older wizard said. Snape shrugged.

"The bed was warm, I tried some of Barnes' potion. If I had come up then you would be tired from lack of sleep, too," the wizard said, almost indifferent. The Headmaster wondered if it were a residual effect of hitting his head on Monday.

"Tonight you'll come up. After dinner," Dumbledore stated, brooking no negation. "Barnes is stopping by."

"Certainly, Headmaster, I'll come up," Snape agreed, closing his eyes briefly. When he reopened them he noted his two students come in for breakfast. Granger gave a little wave and Longbottom blushed slightly. The Potions Master smiled slightly and reached for his tea.

"Eat something for me," Dumbledore said quietly. Snape stretched a bit and reached for toast. He noted some sausage and fruit move to his plate. With a snort he picked up his fork and began to eat.

Satisfied, the Headmaster returned to his breakfast and chattered with Lupin about the turn in the weather. It was just the beginning of November and it seemed it would snow soon.

"Snuffles is out already?" Snape interjected wondering where the dog was. Normally he did not miss a meal.

"I'm not sure. He was up and gone when I woke. Probably wanted an early go of it before the students were out and about," Lupin said.

"Good thinking. It's cold out, but clear. They'll be out in droves mucking about," Snape commented with some disdain. He never could understand why children liked poking through the dirt and grass. Of course, many would be playing a variety of games, quidditch primary among them, but he didn't put any more thought into their pastimes.

Seeing that Granger was done and ready to go, Snape excused himself. He'd barely touched the food on his plate.

"Lunchtime, Severus," Dumbledore growled, "I expect to see you up here."

"Certainly, Headmaster," he said, stifling a yawn. If he were awake! A nap wrapped up in a warm blanket sounded much better. He moved down the table and was quickly joined by Granger and Longbottom, each carrying their school bags.

"Good morning Professor Snape!" Hermione chirruped happily. She was going to finish off her father's potion this morning. Snape responded rather warmly for him, with a hint of amusement in his eyes. Encouraged, Neville stuttered a good morning and was rewarded with a light pat on the shoulder.

"It will be, Longbottom. It will be," Snape responded as they left the hall and headed down into the bowels of the castle.

Snape had closed up the labs the afternoon before. He had dinner and then kept to his rooms for the entirety of the evening. He expected everything to be as he and the seventh year students had left it.

But when he opened the door and followed the students in Snape was stunned.

The room was in a shambles: cauldrons and workstations turned over, potions stacked in shaky pyramids, toilet paper streamers all over and the place wreaked of dungbombs. Utterly overwhelmed Snape stood still and just gawked.

"Oh my gods," Hermione finally managed, staring at the insanity. It wasn't that the room had been destroyed, it was just in upheaval. Someone had hours of work ahead, even with magic, to clean this up! Snape snapped out of his incredulity.

"I'm sorry, Miss Granger, Mr. Longbottom. I will not be able to tutor you today. Why don't you go join your friends? At least your day won't be a total waste," Snape said quietly.

"We'll help you, sir," Neville said firmly, putting a hand on the wizard's arm. But Snape refused and finally managed to shunt them out the door.

Still staring in disbelief, Snape slid down the wall and pulled his knees up to his chest. What a mess. He idly wondered if Peeves had been at it when he recalled Black had missed breakfast. He quickly quelled that thought. *No, mustn't even think of that! Albus would be so disappointed in me!* he told himself firmly.

He was still seated in the same place, now a bit chilled, when the door opened.

"Professor?" Hermione called softly. Hearing no response she pushed in followed by an assortment of students.

"Oh no!"

"For heaven's sake, this is ridiculous!"

"Who'd pull such a prank?"

"I'd wager those brothers of yours, Weasley."

"Professor Snape?"

Draco came before the seated wizard. He wasn't responding, simply allowing all the conversation to wash over him. Stevens and Brown came next. Glancing at Malfoy, Stevens carefully reached for the Professor's arm.

"Come on, sir, let's find you a warmer spot," he said gently.

"It is rather cold down here, isn't it?" Snape said faintly, allowing the two boys to help him up. The high windows were being opened to air out the smell while Granger righted a large wooden chair, quickly transfiguring it into a more comfortable lounge. Brown conjured up lap robes and soon the Professor was settled into the magicked warmth.

"Goyle, take Weasley and fetch some tea and eats from the kitchens," Draco directed. Without a word the two left the room. Longbottom sat down next to Snape and talked quietly about cleaning up the room and having a nice hot cuppa. His gentle manner brought Snape back and he looked around the room.

"It appears some people had a good time in here," he remarked with a slight smile. This put the collected students at ease.

"Oh, yes professor," Neville responded warmly.

"I want to know how long it took them to turn all the desks upside-down," remarked Patil, looking at the topsy-turvy room. More noise came down the hallway and both the Slytherin and Gryffindor quidditch teams sauntered in and ogled the room.

"Wow!"

"Awesome!"

"This is really wild."

"Well, right," George Weasley sized things up. "We just need to work a bit carefully around the stacked bottles. Granger, you're good at levitating. Why don't you start over there with Potter, Malfoy and Patil while the rest of us tackle the furniture. Morning Professor!"

"Morning," Snape man|aged to respond. There was a flurry of paper as the students started pulling down the streamers. The door opened again and the kitchen crew returned with Dobby and tea. Dobby shrieked in dismay.

"Professor Snape's room is destroyed," he wailed nearly dropping the tray.

"It's ok, Dobby, nothing is broken," Ron quickly pointed out.

"It's just a bad joke," added Goyle taking the tray away and carrying it to the professor. Dobby leapt across the room and settled on Snape's lap.

"Professor Snape is all right? Professor Snape needs help?" the elf chattered. The Potions Master put a hand on either shoulder of the bouncing creature and stilled it.

"Professor Snape is all right, Dobby. The students are taking care of the room for me. Could you get Beryl and bring down something for them to eat and drink? They'll be hungry from all the hard work they're doing," Snape asked. Dobby grinned shaking his head.

"Oh, yes yes yes! Dobby will help! Dobby will be back!" and the elf disappeared with a loud pop.

Neville poured out tea and offered a scone to Snape.

"Safer if I just sit here in any event," the boy chuckled at himself.

"I like your company," Snape said simply, making the child perk up and smile more. They sat and watched the rest of the students clean up the room and restore it to it's nearly original arrangement. With all the helping hands it took less than an hour to straighten up and soon everyone was munching on cheese, crackers, fruit, juice and tea. Conversation wound around quidditch (it being a safe topic).

"Well, we've missed most of our practice time," Angelina stated, looking at her watch.

"No problem," Arileus, a Slytherin chaser said, "We're up next on the field. You can practice with us until lunch."

"Really? That would be great," Fred smiled at his adversary.

"Certainly. Then we can show you how to play right!" teased another Slytherins player. Several people laughed, including Snape.

"Just be sure you show them the legal moves," Snape added.

"Aw, Professor, that's gonna cut down on practice," whined George. Again, a warmth of laughter. Setting down plates and cups for the elves, the two teams moved out with waves and goodbyes.

"Professor Snape? Could I still brew the potion I was working on?" Hermione asked. Snape regarded her somewhat sleepily and struggled to sit more upright.

"Certainly, Miss Granger," he began to get up.

"Oh, I'll move my things back here where you can watch," she said. "Just relax. I can put it together."

"If you'd like, Professor, Brown and I can work with Longbottom," Stevens offered. Snape was hesitant to agree, but when he saw Neville was willing he relented.

"Professor Sprout taught me a new charm, sir," Neville shyly confessed. "Do you want to see it?"

Curious, Snape agreed. The boy pulled out his wand and carefully placed it against the Professor's forehead.

"Duermis" Neville commanded. With some surprise Snape sank back into the lounge and fell asleep. Neville smirked at his companions.

"It only works if you're really exhausted and then it only pushes you over the edge into sleep. He'll wake easily enough if we shake him," Neville explained.

"Don't wake him yet," Stevens said, "he looks really tired. We'll just be quiet and let him rest until we need some help." Agreeing, Cathryn raised the warm blankets higher onto Snape while Stevens and Hermione set up two cauldrons.

They had been working for nearly an hour when the door flew open and the Headmaster moved in quickly. He'd been busy, out with Hagrid and about the grounds when Dobby had finally caught up with him. Granted, house elves were known to be excitable, but Dobby had been able to frighten Dumbledore into believing the worst.

The noise woke Snape who looked over at the startled students first then at the older wizard gazing about the room. Dobby flew in behind him and bounced up and down.

"The students cleaned. The students ate. Dobby will clean up the eats," and he sprang to the table stacking cups, saucers and plates. If it hadn't been for the clean-up Dumbledore would have had his doubts about the destroyed room. But there was enough dishes to suggest more than just these four students had been in the room cleaning and even with the opened windows the stench of the dungbombs clung. Nodding at the students to carry on, he moved over to the Potions Master and sat down next to him.

"I hear your room was rearranged this morning," Dumbledore said quietly, picking up the empty tea cup he filled it and sipped.

"Just a prank," Snape said stretching with a long sigh. He could easily fall back asleep.

"Any idea who did this?" the Headmaster pursued.

"No. I was going to check up on Peeves," Snape replied with a yawn.

"Hmm. And why were you asleep, Professor Snape?" Dumbledore queried with a mischievous grin. Snape pulled himself up into a serious mask.

"It was not my fault, Headmaster. Mr. Longbottom tricked me with a charm he recently learned. Honestly, I should strip him of points for his brazenness," the wizard said as coldly as poâssible.

"Really? Mr. Longbottom?" Dumbledore called to the student in question. "Professor Snape says you had something to do with his being asleep?"

Neville shifted nervously. "Professor Sprout has been teaching me certain spells to help me in my classes."

"Which spell did you use? Show me," the Headmaster smoothed his quivering lip, trying not to laugh. Neville pulled out his wand and held it out. Dumbledore nodded his head toward Snape. With understanding lighting his eyes Neville turned, touched his wand to Snape's forehead and quickly called the spell.

"Duermis!" he commanded.

"Not a..." Snape managed before he fell asleep. Dumbledore had to turn away and cover his mouth snickering.

"That is so rude," Stevens commented from the desk.

"Yeah. Except the Professor needs to sleep," Brown added.

"And now that he's resting I would like to know exactly

what happened this morning," the Headmaster turned to the four students and listened. Hermione started and explained how they found the room.

"Professor Snape sent us away, but Neville and I couldn't

just leave him with all that work. It really was a disaster.

The potions were stacked up 7 and 8 rows high," she explained.

"The stench was horrible," Neville added. "They must

have set off multiple dungbombs."

Stevens went on to describe how Snape had reacted and how they were a bit worried when they first came in. He was quick to say the professor rallied and would have helped with the potions tutoring had Neville not nailed him with the sleeping spell.

"How did you get everything cleaned up so fast?" Dumbledore asked, "You've even completed brewing two potions!"

"Oh, we had help from some of the quidditch players," Hermione said off hand. Dumbledore looked at them quizzically.

"When Neville and I went to find help we ran into Harry.

He was kind of, uh, having a discussion with Draco Malfoy," Hermione glanced at Neville.

"Harry went for the team and Draco went for Stevens.

Both Gryffindor and Slytherins came down to help," Neville told the Headmaster.

"The teams went back up to practice together, " Stevens added. This caused Dumbledore to sit up straighter.

"Slytherins and Gryffindors, on the field, practicing together?" he asked with slight disbelief.

"Yes, together. Although Professor Snape forbade the Slytherins from teaching the Gryffindors any illegal moves," Stevens was quick to point out. Now Dumbledore smiled broadly and shook his head.

"Ah, Severus, always practical," he tugged on the blankets straightening them.

"Go on and finish up. I'll wait until you've cleaned and put things away," the Headmaster tugged a paper out of his robe and settled down to read while the students went back to their tasks.


	21. A Promise to be Better 21

A Promise to be Better 21

Author: Raven Dancer

disclaimer: All characters belong to J.K. Rowling except for the Drs. Barnes and Beryl. I receive no monetary compensation for these works.

Summary: Barnes takes care of his patient. Choices are made.

"I can't believe you've brought me up here again," Snape moaned as he woke hours later, warmly wrapped and ensconced on the Headmaster's couch. Barnes stood smiling down at him as he wriggled into a more comfortable position.

"Not only that, but I managed to change your clothing, too," the Healer smirked as Snape quickly checked out what he was wearing. His robes were gone but he did remember putting on the shirt that morning. He gifted Barnes with an awful glare.

"Ok, I only stripped off the outer robes and removed your boots," he sat next to his patient and tucked the covers back before smoothing his hair. The Healer paid {particular attention to the left temple.

"Bruise is nearly gone but I'm thinking that's because I accelerated the healing process. You're very tired lately?" he asked as he began to insinuate himself into Snape. Jumbled emotions greeted him and he frowned.

"I just can't get to sleep. I've taken the potion you left for me, but it hasn't worked," Snape responded.

"Potion? Which one?" the Healer asked a bit confused.

"I don't know, one of the powder packets on my bedside table. I mixed it in juice like you did," the Potions Master answered, leaning into the warmth of the hand. It felt soothing.

"Do you have any left?" Barnes inquired as he upped the energy flow distracting his patient just enough to not notice the intent of the question.

"Ummm, yes, a packet or two. On my dresser," he let his eyes close and sighed. Barnes pushed him easily over into sleep.

Packets of potions? He hadn't left any with Snape and only one with Dumbledore. He didn't want Snape to get used to having a potion every night. Standing, he decided to retrieve the potion packets from Snape's rooms.

The Healer found two small packets left on Snape's bedside table. A quick sniff assured him it wasn't the standard potion preparation he'd used before. Someone else had placed these by the Potions Master's bed. A quick separating spell located three ingredients, one being powdered sugar, the other two seemed to be inert, cornstarch and perhaps a little gelatin. Things you could pick up in the kitchens with no troubles.

Putting the packets in his pocket Barnes returned to his patient who was still sleeping peacefully. Once more the physician scanned Snape encountering exhaustion, empty stomach and a slightly accelerated heart rate. He was currently entering a °rem cycle and he was struggling. With a lurch the wizard woke, eyes flying open.

"ssshh, it's fine Severus, it's ok," the Healer soothed, pulling Snape up. He noted how quickly his patient latched on to him, resting his head against chest, grasping his robes. Barnes ran a free hand over his back as he fed him a little energy.

"gods," Snape managed, "I'm really beginning to hate to lie down."

"I'll help you tonight, I want you to have a good night's sleep," Barnes said.

"'k" the wizard managed as a full shiver took hold.

"How about a warm bath? You can soak a bit and then we'll have dinner," Barnes offered. Snape nodded but did not move from his place of relative safety. The Healer squeezed him gently then pushed back a bit to stand up. Snape followed, stumbling a bit.

*poor Severus* thought Barnes, *exhaustion and being teased again.*

Taking advantage of Snape being undressed Barnes did ¿a quick visual mentally noting bruises on knees, upper thigh and stomach. He poured some herbs into the water and then assisted his patient into the tub.

"Severus, have you fallen again?" he asked quietly.

"Oh, I tripped up and hit against a chair and table in the staff room Thursday. I seem to bruise rather easily lately," he answered with a slight shrug. Only one person had laughed when he'd fallen and that was quelled quickly. McGonagall had helped him up and had been very kind as the other teachers expressed concern. He was glad he didn't know who'd laughed.

"You need to tell me about your falls, Severus," Barnes gently admonished him.

"Just clumsy. Probably because I'm tired. Just hope it's not because I've been damaged," he sighed slipping further down into the warmth. It felt good, it smelled wonderful.

"Me too," agreed the Healer, "but none-the-less, please tell me when you fall. I want to see if there's some pattern developing." He moved to the end of the tub and began to soap up Snape's hair.

"You don't have to do that," the wizard protested, starting to move away. Barnes pulled him back and continued to massage the soap onto his scalp.

"I don't have to do anything. I want to help you feel better," the Healer replied. He could scan Snape as he washed which was a definite advantage. His patient was much calmer now, the essential herbs soothing him as much as the water and care. The more at ease the better the chance of eating a good meal and sleeping that night.

As he rinsed soap away he contemplated the packets. Who had put those placebos in Snape's rooms? Very few had access to the staff private rooms but he supposed any competent wizard with a good opening spell could get in. Plus Snape had been forgetful, leaving doors opened when he wandered about.

And why fake packets? That didn't make a lot of sense. They'd have no effect on Snape.

Unless.

Unless the person or persons wanted Snape to doubt the potions and hence the treatments. Wanted Snape to give up and cease trying. Was Snape more important than they realized in the safety of the school?

Or it could be just a prank. The same group responsible for the lab disaster might think it funny the Potions Master would have broken sleep. How childish!

Good grief! On one hand a calculated plot to weaken the school's defense. On the other, an idiotic attempt to make Snape look like a clumsy, worthless git. One plot nearly worthy of Voldemort, the other a child's game.

Black! It had to be that damned animagus! Barnes poured rinse water through his patient's hair and fumed silently. *Can't be Black, oooh nooo!* he said sarcastically to himself. *Black promised to be a good boy*. He snorted and moved back to the side of the tub allowing Snape to wash himself.

Barnes knew about Pettigrew, knew that Black was innocent. At least of the charges that had landed him in Azkaban. But although the man was not a traitor or murderer, he did hate Severus Snape with a passion. Not once had Barnes seen Black remotely polite to Snape. Nearly twenty years had passed since they'd been in school together; Snape had finally grown beyond the hate, but had Black?

The Healer was not certain. Dumbledore was assured. Then the Headmaster had such a soft spot for his old Gryffindors that it seemingly blinded him on occasion. Of course, all this speculation did not explain the tripping. Someone would have noticed the big dog about to do that.

*I'm going nuts!* he groused to himself. He noticed Snape was finished. Barnes pulled a towel off the rack and held it open for him.

"Such service," Snape teased as he stepped into the towel.

"It'll cost you extra if you want them warmed," Barnes came back in kind. He watched the wizard dry off, worried he might become unbalanced and fall while he was bending over or moving about. At least Snape had become used to an escort and didn't seem to mind.

"I'd offer you a knut for your thoughts, Jeffrey, if you were inclined," Snape murmured. Ah, maybe he did mind being watched. The Healer chuckled.

"Sorry, I'm just worried you might take a nose dive. It'd look bad on my records if you fell here," Barnes tried to avoid a full explanation.

"Ah, well then, I'd best not," Snape replied, giving the Healer a curious look. He wasn't fooled, but he wasn't going to pursue the conversation, either.

Clothed, complete with thick socks and a warm robe, Snape joined Barnes at the dining table and took stock of dinner. Having missed lunch and not eating much breakfast the Potions Master found himself hungry.

Barnes was pleased. Snape had eaten a substantial meal (for Snape) and was currently dozing peaceably in the lounge with him. Lack of restful sleep had taken its toll quickly on the Potions Master's body. The Healer sent a periodic feed of energy to keep Snape's body relaxed against him.

Dumbledore came into his rooms with Snuffles on his heels. He was anxious to see Snape; he was a bit upset with himself for not noticing his friend's exhaustion at the very least. He'd even forgotten about him falling Thursday (Minerva had told him in concerned detail).

When the Headmaster and Barnes brought Snape up earlier that day Black had been waiting in Dumbledore's offices. He was very insistent the Headmaster come out and walk the grounds with him. Barnes had been upset, although he hadn't said a word, when Dumbledore opted to go out with the animagus instead of waiting for Snape to wake up. With some shame the older man remembered his promise to keep the Potions Master forefront in his thoughts.

But Black was needy, too. He'd had a difficult 12 years locked up unfairly. Such a hard fall after all those good years at Hogwarts and just after. Now Dumbledore remembered fondly the group of Gryffindors that made life very interesting around the school.

Snape had been difficult. He'd required a lot of time. It was worth it, every moment. Now that he'd recalled the 'golden gryffs' he remembered they had been just as cruel and mean as Snape had been. Worse, they had the school backing them.

Why had he gone out with Black? Why did he have this obsession with those boys? *Fodder for contemplation* Dumbledore sighed to himself as he tossed his cloak on the rack. Leaving Black to transform, he moved quickly over to the lounge.

"Severus? Child? How are you feeling?" The Headmaster bent down to stroke his face gently. He was rewarded with a smile and tired eyes.

"Fine, Albus. A little tired," Snape replied, very happy to see his mentor. He started to reach up for the Headmaster when Black moved into sight. His hand dropped back to the Healer's robes.

"Hello, Sirius," the Potions Master managed in a friendly tone. Black did not respond directly to him.

"I'll be going, Headmaster," Black said shortly.

"I'm going to order up some tea, Sirius. Stay awhile," Dumbledore said hopefully.

"Another time," the animagus retorted. Snape slowly pushed up; Barnes did not stop him.

"I need to lie down, Headmaster," the tired wizard sat up on the edge of the lounge. "You can stay, Sirius."

"Oh, that's nice of you, Snape," Black replied sarcastically. Barnes could see the tension stretch through the Potions Master's back. Whatever he wanted to say was being controlled.

"I just thought you'd like some time to talk, Sirius. I know that I make you uncomfortable," Snape said as evenly as he could manage. It hurt him that Dumbledore stood there and said nothing, nothing at all! *Probably would like it if I left so he could spend time with his Gryffindor* he thought with a twinge of sadness. He really wasn't enough of a friend, was he?

Dumbledore was taken aback. Here Snape was being as conciliatory as possible and Black was still unbending! Maybe it would be better if Snape left for awhile so he could talk with Black about his crappy attitude! He stepped back from Snape, reinforcing Snape's worst fears.

"Go ahead, Severus. I'll come down and get you in a little while," the Headmaster said as calmly as he thought he could. Without a backwards glance, in only a robe and socks, Snape walked out of the Headmaster's offices and went down stairs. Barnes was furious with Dumbledore. It took a great deal of control not to yell.

"I hope you understand what you just did, Headmaster," he drawled, glaring at Dumbledore. He gathered his satchel and cloak and went to find Snape.


	22. A Promise to be Better 22

A Promise to be Better 22

Author: Raven Dancer

disclaimer: All characters belong to J.K. Rowling except for the Drs. Barnes and Beryl. I receive no monetary compensation for these works.

Summary: Unpleasant thoughts.

Finding Snape was not easy. He had not returned to his dungeons. Barnes did not know the castle well enough to go searching for the wizard. He'd taken his wizard's training abroad, then continued at a muggles' medical university and finished up at a magical healing institute Throwing himself in a chair he consigned himself to a long wait.

A half-hour passed. The door opened and the Healer launched out of the chair.

"Severus! Where have," Barnes slowed as he saw Dumbledore walk in. "Oh, it's you," the younger man pivoted on his heel and returned angrily to the chair.

"Not very friendly, Jeffrey," the Headmaster noted. Barnes only glanced at the wizard, then turned his attention back to the door.

Dumbledore walked over to the empty hearth and conjured a fire before he secured the other chair.

"I made a mistake, Jeffrey," the Headmaster tried again.

"Oh, did you?" Barnes did not feel like making everything 'nice'. He was worried about his patient and more than angry at Dumbledore.

"I wanted to talk to Black about his attitude, Jeffrey. He was well out of bounds the way he spoke to Severus," Dumbledore offered. Barnes sized him up shrewdly.

"Oh, Black had an attitude problem, Albus? What about you? What happened to the 'you can stay in my rooms no matter what, Severus'? What happened to 'I will be there for him Jeffrey'? What happened to putting Severus first for a change instead of those wondrous Gryffindors of yours?" Barnes spat out in heat. Dumbledore's mouth dropped.

"Oh, the great, all-knowing Headmaster of Hogwarts still doesn't recognize his own prejudices, does he? You may love Severus but you relegate him to second place when you find him inconvenient. I told you this was going to take months, even years, to help straighten him out. He needs unconditional acceptance, he just needs to know he counts for something somewhere in his life," the Healer was in rare form, his protective instincts on full. Dumbledore was floored. He'd never considered this, feeling it had been completely reasonable to send Snape out while he dealt with Black.

"By sending Severus away, besides breaking the promises you made to him, you showed him you don't consider him important enough for you. That he embarrasses you. That Black's feelings and opinions mean more to you," nearly expended Barnes folded his arms, leaned back and just glared.

"I only wanted to speak to Sirius alone. I didn't think it would matter if Severus came down here to wait," Dumbledore said weakly.

"He was wearing a bathrobe and socks for gods sake, Albus. He should have been asked to go to your bedroom, at least that was what I expected you to do. No. You sent him out because HÏE EMBARRASSED YOU in front of BLACK!" the Healer positively roared in his anger.

"I, I didn't mean that, I only wanted to speak to Sirius alone," Dumbledore stumbled. "He was quite sorry once you two left and promised he'd try harder to get along with Snape."

The slip of the tongue caused Barnes to raise an eyebrow, but he said nothing as the Headmaster covered his eyes.

"I'm doing it, aren't I? I'm reverting back 20 years to the old times," the older man whispered.

"Very good," Barnes snapped. Dumbledore looked at him.

"You know, you really have a nasty streak in you Jeffrey," the Headmaster observed wryly. Barnes glared a full moment, then smiled very slightly.

"Only when I'm protecting my patient. I will advocate fiercely for Severus," Barnes said. A click at the door caused both men to look up. But no one came in.

"Did you hear the door close?" Barnes asked.

"Yes, I thought I did," Dumbledore concurred. Both wizards stood up and went to the door. After a second Barnes opened the door wide. No one was there. Stepping out into the hall they looked to the left and right. No one and nothing. They stood looking in opposite directions.

"I certainly heard that door close," Barnes said firmly. Dumbledore was about to answer when they heard a voice but couldn't make out the words. Then the one voice they both wanted to hear burst out.

"For gods sake, just show yourself and get it over with! At least let me see who the hell you are before you do me in!" Snape spat out angrily. Barnes and Dumbledore looked at each other than sprang forward as a unit. They found Snape sitting on the stairs arms around his knees eyes closed.

"Severus! Are you all right?" Dumbledore was at his side first, Barnes moved up the stairs to crouch above him.

"No, I'm not. I'm hearing voices again. I should just be locked up and forgotten about," he muttered, not opening his eyes. He jerked sharply when the Healer touched him.

"No. Don't. I'm fine. Nothing ˜is wrong, I lied," and he stood, moving down the stairs towards his room. Dumbledore blocked him.

"Severus, we need to talk," the Headmaster put both hands on his friend's shoulders.

"We did. You have a school to run, Headmaster. I have to prepare for, for. gods, I have nothing left to prepare for. I know exactly what I have to do," and Snape jerked away, once more trying to go to his rooms.

But Dumbledore blocked his way again and Barnes managed to move behind him, hands resting on his back. The turmoil was nearly overwhelming.

"Severus, stop. I thought you were suppose to come back up and sleep with us. You are exhausted! Come back with me, child," Dumbledore was not above pleading. Snape had pulled himself upright, tight and unmoving until the Healer got hands on him. Then the trembling set in.

"You're cold, Severus. Come upstairs and we'll get you warm," the Headmaster continued, briefly wondering if he should bind the wizard and levitate him. Unable to control his weakening body, Snape shoulders fell, his head ducked enough that hair covered his face.

"I'm just going to bed, Headmaster. Let me go to bed," the voice was holding a tenuous grasp on sounding normal; Barnes upped is energy flow and felt the cold seeping from under the robes.

"Where have you been, Severus?" the Healer asked softly.

"Astronomy tower. It's cloudy; I couldn't see any s-stars," Snape's voice nearly broke. He sniffed once and tossed the hair out of his eyes.

"Come to bed, Severus," Dumbledore managed to get hold of one stiff hand, then gently tugged the Potions Master towards him into a hug. Snape was stiff for a moment then grabbed the Headmaster as though he would leave him again.

"I'm so tired, Albus. I'm so tired. I can't sleep anymore because the dreams just keep coming," Snape buried his face in Dumbledore's robes against his shoulder, buried himself into the warmth and safety. He fought against the tears. He shouldn't cry. Really should not cry.

One sob broke free before he quelled his emotions. One time, not so bad. Mother wouldn't hear that, would she? He wasn't really alone here in the dark. Father would be in his study. He had to be there, right?

Barnes felt all the internal doors slam shut as emotions were completely turned off. He'd never felt anyone control emotions as tightly as Snape was, he increased the energy flow trying to pry into the locked rooms. This was not good.

The three wizards were absolutely still for a long minute. Dumbledore heard another sound in the hall but did not release Snape. The sound quietly receded up the stairs.

Then suddenly the Healer was successful and Snape opened up, struggling briefly not to cry again and finally failing. The Headmaster turned all his attention back to his friend.

"It's ok, Severus. We're here," the older man soothed. Barnes stepped closer to them, sandwiching the broken wizard between them.

"Let's go upstairs. We can help you sleep. You'll be just fine with us," Barnes spoke quietly. Together he and Dumbledore gathered Snape and walked him up the stairs to the Headmaster's tower.

Somehow they managed to get the Potions Master to drink a glass of warm milk laced with one of Barnes' medicines. Then robes were stripped off and the thin, cold body was lowered into bed under soft blankets. Finally both the Healer and the Headmaster crawled in, snugging Snape between them.

The wizard was very reluctant, very stiff, but Barnes kept kneading his back sending his energy in while Dumbledore whispered and sang old childhood songs. Slowly, slowly, the body relaxed, turned and curled into the warmth of his mentor while the Healer nestled close warming the trembling back.

He didn't cry anymore. He held on to his emotions with an iron grip even with the Healer's flow. *Damn, I'm going to lose him* Barnes thought to himself. He redoubled his efforts and sent his patient into a deep sleep.

The Potions Master woke once in the dead of night, squeezed out of the bed and went to the loo. After several minutes the Healer followed, quietly listening at the door as the sound of water running shut off and Snape came out. Barnes used the loo next but when he came out he found his patient sitting against the wall.

"Severus, come back to bed," he murmured, holding out his hand. Snape just shook his head 'no'.

"It's cold on that floor, Severus. Come back to bed," he tried again.

"No. I'm 37 years old for the gods sake! I should be able to handle myself better. My parents would be disappointed in me. I've let the Headmaster down," he said quietly, hugging knees close to his chest.

"I can't even sleep in my own bed. I'm a waste," Snape concluded.

"Who was talking to you on the stairs?" Barnes suddenly asked, ignoring all the self-pity for the moment.

"On the stairs? I don't know. Just a voice I've heard before." Snape replied.

"Well, then, what did the voice say?" the Healer asked.

"Usually something about me being a filthy death eater, that I tarnish the school by being here," Snape reported in a detached manner.

"Usually? You've heard the voice before?" Barnes pressed on.

"Yes. I'm totally nutters. I've heard that voice on and off all week!" Snape began to rock. The Healer finally reached down and latched onto the wizard's hands, tugging him upwards.

"You are definitely not nuts, Severus. You are exhausted, worn down, and nearly being crushed by someone who wants to harm you. There's someone loose with an invisibility cloak or charm pestering you. My bet is Black," the Healer said a little more vehemently than he intended. Snape froze momentarily, then allowed Barnes to pull him close.

"It's not Black, Jeffrey. He promised Albus he'd not harass me. He wouldn't lie," Snape parroted what he was told to accept.

"Oh, no, he would never lie. He's a Gryffindor. We know all Gryffindors are trustworthy and fair,"" Barnes was having a great time with sarcasm.

"Albus said he believes Black. I have to believe," Snape said with a dead voice. He had to, his entire existence depended on the total acceptance of Dumbledore. Barnes sighed, pulling Snape into his arms.

"For now I'll agree with you. We're going to explore all the possibilities later, once you've gotten enough sleep! Please come back to bed with me," the Healer tugged him over to the bed. With some difficulty the wizard was placed between the sheets, lying stiff on his back, arms wrapped completely around his torso. Sighing, Barnes slipped in beside him and curled against him feeding warmth into the cold body.

Dumbledore rolled over having heard the entire conversation. He was upset with Barnes for suggesting Black was behind Snape's problems. He was frightened by Snape's reaction. The absolute need shook him. What had he gotten himself into? He cared for Snape; he loved Snape. But now Black was back and needed him, too. He wondered briefly who'd set Black up like this. So few people knew he was even at the school! A glimmer of doubt rose up and the Headmaster squashed it. NO! Black would not lie! Gryffindors were honest.

As he pulled Snape closer, felt the tense body shiver as it rolled over and curled onto his shoulder he wondered why Barnes was so dead certain Black was behind the pranks. Maybe Snape had mentioned Black? Maybe he'd talked about his school days? The tripping was definitely a silly prank meant to make him look clumsy. If it were tripping. What if Snape had gotten some motor locution damage from all the curses he'd suffered that year? Then it would only be the matter of the topsy-turvy classroom.

That prank was more like Peeves. Dumbledore hadn't found the poltergeist yet but he was keeping an eye out for him. He supposed he could ask for the Bloody Baron, but that was senseless. It must be Peeves.

Having convinced himself however tenuously that Black was innocent the Headmaster settled back into an uneasy sleep.


	23. A Promise to be Better 23

A Promise to Be Better 23

author: Raven Dancer

Disclaimer: All characters belong to J.K. Rowling except for the Drs. Barnes and Beryl. I receive no monetary compensation for these works.

summary: Thickenings and potions

Harry Potter woke early. He was going to meet his godfather in an hour in Professor Lupin's rooms. They were going to breakfast together and then spend the day talking. But first he needed to go see the Headmaster.

Quietly he dressed, not wanting to have to explain himself to his room mates, especially Ron. He was out the door and in the common room without disturbing anyone. He would have made it if it hadn't been for Hermione.

"Harry? Where are you off to? Early breakfast?" the witch asked, closing an impossibly large tome.

"I, uh, well," he took a deep breath, "I'm just popping up to see Professor Dumbledore." Hermione looked at him curiously.

"I need to talk to him about a private matter," he tried, not wanting to get into a lengthy discussion. "I want to see him before I report to Professor Lupin at 9 am," he concluded. Realization dawned on her face then; she knew he was spending the day with Black. She just didn't know why he needed to see the Headmaster.

"Well, then, you best be off. You only have a bit more than thirty minutes," she said giving him a graceful way out. With a grin Harry went out into the hall. He dashed along the hallways and up several stairs until he came to the hunchbacked witch.

"Lion Bars," he announced and waited for the wall to open. Then it was an easy matter of riding the stairs up to the top. He hoped Dumbledore was awake! As he raised his hand to knock the door opened of its own volition.

"I'll be back this evening, Headmaster," the doctor was saying. "If there's any problem, ANY PROBLEM at all, you will send a message. Don't leave him alone." Barnes turned and saw Harry.

"Well, good morning, Mr. Potter," he said with a tired smile. He held the door and ushered the young man in. Harry stood just inside the door as it closed and looked about the office. Professor Dumbledore was just tucking a blanket around a sleeping Professor Snape.

"Hullo Harry," the older man said quietly, smoothing hair out of the sleeping wizards face and whispering a sleeping charm. He waited a moment listening to the rhythm of breathing before affectionately stroking Snape's cheek. Standing upright he turned and walked over to his desk indicating Harry should follow.

Harry was all eyes looking at Snape. He looked rather awful, even for Snape. Dark circles under dark eyelids; it almost looked as if he had two black eyes he was so exhausted. For the first time the young man noticed how thin, almost frail, the Potions Master looked.

"Is he all right, sir? I mean, he looks sick," Harry said quietly as he sat down in a chair. Dumbledore weighed his words carefully.

"He is very tired, Harry. Voldemort has been very rough on Severus," he said.

"Plus the pranks. Someone is certainly having a good laugh pulling such mean tricks," Harry commented. He saw the Headmaster almost flinch and knew he was right.

"That's actually why I'm here, Professor. I, I have a small problem that I need to tell you about," Harry shifted uneasily.

"What can I help you with?" Dumbledore asked with concern.

"Well, it's about the pranks, sort of," Harry inched towards confession. "And my invisibility cloak." Dumbledore's eyebrow raised slightly.

"I discovered it missing on two occasions. It showed up hours later," he managed to get out quickly.

"How does that pertain to the pranks?" the Headmaster asked.

"I first noticed it missing last Monday, when Professor Snape took that bad fall, sir. It was back after dinner. Then Friday night I was looking through my things and discovered it missing again. It turned up yesterday when I came up after dinner," Harry looked at Dumbledore. The Headmaster was definitely concerned. It could have been used

during both incidents Saturday.

"I asked Ron, I thought that maybe he'd used it," Harry didn't mention the times he'd used it of late." "He said absolutely not and seemed as surprised as I was that it had gone missing."

"Did you ask anyone else?" Dumbledore tried not to look apprehensive.

"I asked Sirius yesterday. He denied it," Harry moved uncomfortably. Actually, he'd denied he'd hurt Snape, come to think of it, but Harry didn't mention this. "He was also rather upset I'd practiced quidditch with the Slytherins team. He watches me sometimes, likes to talk about my flying," Harry finished.

"Of course he'd be interested in your flying, Harry. Your father played, too. It must bring back some good memories," Dumbledore said gently.

"I suppose so. Although he's very interested in other memories as well," Harry recalled Black trying to convince him and his friends they should play a couple tricks on Snape. They'd all refused but it was still a favorite topic when they got together. Harry hoped his godfather wasn't responsible for Snape's problems. He hoped, but he had a small, nagging doubt.

Dumbledore mused over what had been said and not been said. Here again were doubts about Black. But Black had promised he'd not harass Snape! The wizard idly wondered if Ron or his brothers were behind the problems. It did seem like something the twins might do. He shook the thought away.

"You need to secure your cloak, Harry. Be sure to put it away and tell no one where it's at," Dumbledore cautioned. "If it comes up missing you must tell me at once!"

"Yes sir," he responded sharply. Harry glanced over at Snape, curled up around a pillow now, black hair spilling over his face. The Headmaster followed his gaze.

"I would appreciate it, Harry, if you don't speak about Professor Snape's taking ill with anyone. Somebody, or some people, are harassing him. He's been very sick this fall," Dumbledore explained. He knew the boy was trustworthy, but he still needed to impress on him the importance of keeping this quiet.

"Of course, sir," he promised.

"Then you should be off to breakfast?" Dumbledore asked.

"Yes, I'm meeting Sirius in Professor Lupin's quarters. We're going to spend the day together," the boy added with a happy smile.

"That's good. Go along, enjoy your family," the Headmaster waved towards the door and waited while the youth stood and left quietly.

Snape woke slowly. Barnes must have given him some sort of potion. He stretched, eyes closed again as he pulled the pillow closer. It was warm here. Quiet.

Eyes opened again as he looked about. He had been in the Headmaster's bed earlier. But he'd moved. Snape vaguely recalled Barnes bringing him out, helping him take care of some personal needs, then tucking him under the soft blankets. He was on the couch in the Headmaster's sitting room. He could see the big desk and part of the fireplace.

As he came up through the fuzzy layers of thought he once more began to feel uneasy. The Potions Master wished he could be back in his own room hidden away from everyone. He knew Dumbledore trusted him, cared for him, but he still had a nagging feeling he'd disappointed his mentor.

Sitting up was a challenge. The fuzziness was lessening, but the heavy folds of exhaustion still covered him. From his new vantage point he looked around, not seeing anyone. Maybe he could just go downstairs to his rooms. It wasn't as if someone would miss him. With incredible concentration Snape stood up into the cool air, blankets were tossed over the back of the couch.

*Now, walk to the door!* he commanded his legs. The wizard was so shaky it was amazing he made it as far as the door. With a small smile of victory Snape reached out and tried the handle.

It turned, but the door wouldn't open. He tried again, but again, it remained closed. Patting his sleep clothes he searched for his wand. It wasn't there.

"Severus?" a voice filled with concern called to him. Snape turned slightly and saw Dumbledore coming out of the loo.

"Yes, Headmaster?" he managed courteously, struggling against gravity.

"Child, where are you going?" the older man asked gently, crossing the room to his friend.

"Just to my rooms. I've been bothering you," Snape said in a very small voice.

"Who told you that?" Dumbledore took hold of his elbow and began to nudge him back into the sitting area. Snape stumbled but managed to walk towards the lounge.

He couldn't answer that! How could he tell Dumbledore about the voice? It was bad enough he was going crazy, but Snape certainly didn't want to broadcast it.

"Is this the same voice that's been calling you names?" the Headmaster sat back on the lounge pulling the tired wizard after him. Distracted, Snape curled up alongside his mentor resting his head on Dumbledore's chest.

"Y, yes, Albus. I think so," Snape finally replied. He sighed as the blankets covered him with warmth. He was still so tired. Yawning, he nuzzled into the comforting warmth.

Dumbledore watched Snape slip back into sleep. He ran a soothing hand up and down the wizard's arm and shoulder. The potion should have kept him asleep for several more hours. Snape's control was fairly amazing. Well, he'd just finished with the morning mail, light since it was Sunday. He hadn't slept too well the night before, either, and a nap sounded like a very good thing.

Monday morning found a veryÌ subdued Potions Master back in the dungeon labs teaching first year potions. Cathyrn Brown worked with him during the first class period; Fred Weasley had been tapped to come for the second first year class. He stopped to talk with the Ravenclaw 7th year Prefect.

"So, how did it go?" Fred asked in a very quiet voice.

"Fine. Well, except he seemed to have forgotten part of the ingredients. He'd left them in the students' cupboard. Other than that, it went well," Cathyrn reported picking up her book bag. Snape noticed the Weasley twin and raised an eyebrow.

"Oh, joy! I am so pleased to see the Headmaster has retained his sense of humor," Snape said haughtily. Fred gave him a lopsided grin.

"I lost the toss, sir. Where shall I begin?" the young man returned. Snape directed him to the ingredients.

"The list is on the board, Mr. Weasley. Replenish any items that are low and be sure they're in the proper order," Snape said. The Potions Master turned to the witch.

"Thank you, Ms. Brown. You have been a delightful baby-sitter," the wizard sneered. But there was enough warmth in the voice itself they knew he was not displeased. For Snape that was as good as enthusiastic recognition.

Fred read through the board before turning to the table. An easy enough potion to keep out rats and mice. He remembered with almost fondness making this his first summer home to help his mother in the kitchen. George and he had been so proud when it worked!

With a bemused chuckle, a good memory associated with the evil Potions Master, Fred moved to the cupboard and took out more cattails and orange bark. This was arranged on the table. He looked back at the board.

That was strange. Part of the board must have been tampered with because the list was not quite right. The writing was nearly Snape's, but it didn't look exactly the same as the rest of the board. If powdered almond was put in instead of anise not only would it smell too sweet, it would attract water bugs. Fred moved up to the board.

The hair on the back of his neck rose as he stood there. As if someone was right behind him. He turned quickly, but no one was there!

"Professor? I think the formula isn't correct," Fred called over to Snape. The older man glared briefly then read the board quickly. When he came to the powdered almond his eyebrow raised perceptibly.

"Strange. I could have sworn I wrote minced anise ," Snape mused as he erased the line and wrote the correct item onto the board.

"Thank you , Mr. Weasley. It wouldn't do to teach the potion incorrectly," Snape nodded slightly before moving back to the class. The students were in place and he wanted to begin his short lecture.

The rest of class was fine. Fred helped as needed and began to appreciate how difficult it was to work with younger students. He had to demonstrate several times how to slit open the rose hips without spoiling the seeds inside. Then the number of plasters! At least none of the cuts were bad enough to go to Madame Pomfrey.

By the end of class he had a better appreciation for the Potions Master. Not much, but Fred had a feeling by the time he'd served his detention (as dictated by Professor McGonagall for being caught out of bounds yet again) he would definitely not be volunteering for tutoring!

Except, it was kind of neat to have these kids look to him for help. He liked being needed. Looking up he met Snape's eyes. They were sparkling with amusement and understanding.

"Not quite what you expected, Mr. Weasley? Especially working with the nasty old Potions Master?" the warmth and the very small smile surprised the Gryffindor and he found himself blushing and grinning.

"Not quite. Although I can't imagine how you manage to keep enough plasters on hand," Fred joked.

"I don't often let this group handle the knives. The grater is dangerous enough," the wizard responded in kind. Fred had to chuckle.

"I don't want to think about that!" he said. Together they put ingredients away and cleaned off the chalk board. A scuffling at the door caught their attention.

"Oy, Fred! You ready for lunch?" George slipped in quickly. He had worried about his brother the entire period. Draco came in immediately behind him.

"Professor Snape?" he looked over at his head of house.

"Looks like we both have escorts, Mr. Weasley," Snape said primly.

"I'll be back Wednesday morning for second period, Professor Snape," Fred responded as he went to pick up his book bag. Snape just looked coldly down his nose at the student for a moment before allowing a smile.

"That will be most appreciated, Mr. Weasley. Thank you for your help this morning," Snape said, causing George's mouth to drop open. Fred pushed up on his twin's chin and pulled him out of the room.

"Should you really thank them, sir?" Draco sighed.

"Who will believe them?" Snape sneered a wicked smile at his student. Draco, surprised, began to laugh.

"You are soo evil, sir. Points would leave a trail!" Draco giggled. Snape's sneer dropped and he relaxed. Yes, points would be duly registered in the house totals and although they were anonymous most of the time the students could work out who earned them. Actually, Snape didn't give Fred points because he was serving a detention. He didn't tell Malfoy that!

"I do appreciate Weasley's help this morning, Draco. And Ms. Brown's as well. I have been over tired of late and I want someone checking over my preparations," Snape went to the sinks and thoroughly washed his hands before joining Draco.

"I believe you mentioned lunch?" the professor asked. The student smiled and together they walked up the halls to eat.


	24. A Promise to be Better 24

A Promise to Be Better 24

author: Raven Dancer

Disclaimer: All characters belong to J.K. Rowling except for the Drs. Barnes and Beryl. I receive no monetary compensation for these works.

summary: Truce?

The rest of Monday teaching went without a hitch. Snape was beginning to suspect he was the detention assignment for the week. Each class period brought a new 6th or 7th year student. Except Brown couldn't have been in trouble, could she? Snape sighed and completed reviewing his lesson plans for the next day. It was getting late and even his stomach was beginning to make polite inquiries about dinner.

A scuffling in the hall announced that his escort had arrived. Lupin peered around the door then came bouncing into the dungeons smiling. The image of Tigger came unbidden to Snape.

Oh, gods, he hadn't though of that creature for possibly decades. Some long lost relation of his parents had visited them and was astounded a young Severus had never heard of Winnie the Pooh. The relative never visited again (they never stopped by twice) but several books had come by post with large, colorful illustrations. The thoughtful relation hand charmed pictures of one so they'd move about a little bit. It was almost a warm memory; his parents had been gone and he'd looked through the books, especially the charmed one, many times before they returned.

The books had been destroyed. Without realizing it Snape had crouched low in his chair, the vision of his angry mother ripping page after page out and throwing it into the fireplace gripped him.

"Severus?" Lupin looked at the cringing figure, eyes blank. The DADA professor moved carefully around the desk and placed one hand on Snape's shoulder. The Potions Master flinched, nearly falling out of his chair, a frightened look flashed momentarily on his face. Then the eyes focused.

"Oh, sorry, Remus. I, uh, I was just recalling an old book I had as a child," Snape offered by way of explanation. Lupin wasn't dumb, he'd seen that same lost look in Black's eyes often enough last year. But Black had never flinched when he was touched. He'd never been physically abused in prison so his body never conditioned to flight response.

Snape, on the other hand, nearly fell out of his chair trying to get away. Lupin simply pushed the hair away from the Potions Master's eyes.

"Think you're ready for some dinner?" Lupin asked gently.

"Yes, my stomach has reminded me I need to feed it," Snape now smiled. "I suppose you lost the toss?" he closed his plan book.

"Dr. Barnes was adamant about keeping an eye on you," Lupin explained. Pushing up Snape pulled on his cloak and joined the DADA professor at the door.

"I thought as much. But Fred Weasley?" Snape asked with a bemused smile. Lupin chuckled.

"Minerva, actually. He and George were caught one too many times last week out of bounds after curfew. She thought it would be good for them to serve their time apart," Lupin told him.

"And who has the honor of supervising George?" he asked as they walked up the stairs.

"Why, you do, Severus, next week. Monday and Wednesday," Lupin smirked.

"Bloody wonderful," Snape grumbled.

Barnes was at the staff table next to the Headmaster watching various dishes appear on the table. Curry. Tuna casserole. Typical food for such a large group. The Healer idly wondered if there was a Mexican night with enchiladas.

They had worked out an uneasy alliance: Barnes would not accuse Black and Dumbledore would put Snape first. When the Potions Master appeared with his current escort the Healer stood and waited for his patient.

"Sit Jeffrey. He'll come up here," Dumbledore murmured quietly. The younger man glanced at the Headmaster then sat down. Lupin and Snape did walk towards the table, although the Potions Master stopped to speak with a student. He watched Lupin pause, turning slightly as if something had brushed against him.

A breath of air set the DADA professor on alert and he moved back next to Snape.

Snape was oblivious to whatever passed near them, but the Lupin knew someone just went by. He put himself between his friend and the disturbed air, his eyes straining for any movement. With all the aromas of food in the air he couldn't smell anyone clearly.

"Come, Severus, let's go sit down," he said quietly, placing a protective hand on the tired man's shoulder. Snape smiled slightly at the Slytherins' student then allowed Lupin to propel him up the aisle to the seat next to the Healer.

"Hello Severus, Remus," Barnes smiled.

"Gentlemen," nodded Dumbledore.

Lupin smiled. Snape simply looked at both before sitting down. He had the feeling these two men had been chatting about him. It did not inspire confidence. But he still sat down and pulled himself to the table. Barnes was unable to contain himself any longer and surreptitiously reached his hand out to touch his patient.

"I'm only tired, doctor," Snape said quietly but did not prevent the Healer from his scan. Curiosity satisfied and not entirely happy about the results, Barnes removed his hand and served himself some casserole before pointedly holding the dish out for the Potions Master to take some.

They ate in silence; Barnes still fuming, Dumbledore studiously ignoring him, Lupin searching for a clue to the invisible visitor and Snape slowly withdrawing into his shell.

Snape finished first much to the other three wizards' dismay. He'd eaten little and wasn't interested in dessert. Alerted to his colleague's silence, Lupin began to discuss potions with him, trying to draw him out. He was moderately successful, gaining some dialogue.

As soon as dessert was done, Snape tried to excuse himself.

"Come up to my rooms, Severus," Dumbledore motioned to the wizard.

"I'm going to my rooms to check on Snuffles. Why don't you join me for a moment, Dr. Barnes," Lupin said quickly. He wanted to speak with the Healer about his suspicions; Dumbledore did not appreciate the speculations.

Separating, Barnes followed Lupin. He first met with the four students that worked with Snape that day. He did not like what he learned: the morning had been disturbed by strange events. He was particularly interested in the strange feeling Fred reported.

"Like someone was breathing on my neck, actually," the young man said.

Then there was Lupin's observations in the great hall. "I could have smelled out who it was if the food hadn't come up already. It's hard to discern scents with curry and other strong aromas in the air," the DADA professor reported to the Healer. Black, who was sitting near the fire during this report, said nothing. He ignored Barnes' quizzical gaze as he reached for a book he was reading.

Finally Barnes returned to the Headmaster's rooms. He was pleased to find his patient showered and curled up on the couch using Dumbledore as a pillow. He smiled as he moved a chair close enough to scan Snape. The Potions Master sleepily regarded the Healer.

"Hullo, Jeffrey," he managed to yawn out, settling down comfortably as the energy flow began. Dumbledore set his book down and gently ran his hand over Snape's hair.

"Looks good, Severus. Now a little potion to help you sleep and I'll be going back to town," Barnes said. He noticed Snape's eyes widened with a bit of concern. The Healer smiled as he moved to get the potion and a glass of juice.

"Albus will be with you tonight. You'll be just fine," Barnes soothed.

"You'll sleep well," said Dumbledore, "between the nice warm bed and that healing draught. It always gives you unremarkable dreams."

"Why didn't they work for me, when I was in my rooms?" Snape asked as Barnes brought the straw to his lips.

"I'm not exactly sure, Severus," Barnes lied. "Something happened to the powder. I made this up fresh this morning at the clinic."

"He'll leave a little more powder with me, Severus, in case you need some later. But I think you'll sleep the night with no problems," Dumbledore added.

Once finished the Healer and Headmaster encouraged Snape to get up and go into the bedroom. They settled him in the elf-warmed bed, the potion all ready making him quite sleepy. Snape smiled drowsily as he looked up at both wizards.

"Just like Mommy and Daddy," he commented, yawning. Neither Barnes or Dumbledore cared for that assessment given what little they knew about Snape's parents. But each chuckled, making sure the nearly asleep wizard was comfortable.

"I'll be to bed later, Severus," Dumbledore said.

"Sleep well, Severus," Barnes added.

The remainder of the week consisted of classes with student 'assistants' and an escort to and from the dungeons to meals. Snape took to staying in his offices in the afternoon allowing a few students to study while he worked. He couldn't bring himself to go up to the Headmaster's office on the off chance Black would come in.

And Black did come in every afternoon. Mostly to report the day's findings. Then to have a cuppa with the Headmaster and chat in the comfortable chairs by the fire. By Friday Dumbledore was very much enjoying the reminiscing and talking with the animagus. He even found himself laughing on occasion when Black would mention some prank or another that had been pulled on Snape.

Then dinner and after Snape would finally come up to his rooms. Barnes would stop by (after checking with the students assigned to work in potions) and visit a bit. He planned to spend several hours with Snape on Saturday for a more lengthy discussion.

This arrangement was fine; until the weekend. Snape had a long talk about his childhood with Barnes that morning. Frankly, it exhausted him and he fell deeply asleep on the couch after eating a light lunch. Barnes had not looked that much better, Dumbledore reflected. The little bit he'd heard when he came in about Snape's mother had chilled him.

He'd thought the closet was bad enough. Imagine the woman sitting outside, listening for any movement or sound so she could pounce on the child and punish him. Dumbledore had always been amazed by how silently the Potions Master moved. He now knew it was a skill honed by necessity.

Black came in after three to see Dumbledore. He'd forgotten, or didn't expect, the Potions Master to be in the room. But there, on the couch, intruding on his personal time with the Headmaster, was the Snape. With a sneer Black recoiled.

"Sirius, it's just Severus! You know he's up in my rooms often," Dumbledore chided the animagus gently.

"Every day?" Black ground out.

"Well, some weeks he is. He has had a very difficult time since Voldemort's begun to gather strength. If he can get some comfort and rest with me, then I'm very glad I can give that to him," the Headmaster said calmly. Black was still not happy, sitting on the edge of the chair and just glaring.

"Can't you send him away for awhile? Down where he belongs?" Black asked. With a long-suffering sigh Dumbledore shook Snape gently.

"Severus? Child? Could you move into the bedroom? I need to talk with Sirius and he's not comfortable with you here," the Headmaster explained. Snape managed to wake and looked slightly confused before managing to sit up.

"I can go to my rooms," Snape offered with a tired sigh, then struggled to stand. The Headmaster was at his side quickly.

"No, Severus, just to my bedroom. You can rest there until we eat, ok?" Dumbledore guided the wizard into his room and made sure he was tucked under the covers. A simple sleeping charm pushed Snape back under.

When he returned to Black the animagus was pacing angrily.

"Why do you have that death eater in here, Albus?" he asked. Dumbledore settled into the chair before he answered.

"Sirius, whether you wish to believe it or not Severus is my best friend. He spied for me up until just a few weeks ago when it became painfully obvious Voldemort was only going to torture him until he ceased being useful. I am not willing to let Severus die. Especially when I put him in that situation!" Dumbledore explained.

Black mulled over several points. He could not get his mind to wrap around the concept of "friend" so the idea of "best friend" was quickly set aside. Also, the notion of Dumbledore having anything to do with Snape's being an active Death Eater was also rejected. The assertion that the git could get killed by Voldemort was ok, though. Black liked that particular idea.

The animagus settled into the opposite chair and accepted a cup of tea. Sipping, he put all that aside and simply enjoyed talking with the Headmaster. At the very least Dumbledore had not insisted bringing him up to date on the world as Lupin and Harry had. No, the Headmaster was content to talk about the old days at Hogwarts.

When 5:30 rolled around Dumbledore excused himself to wake up the Potions Master so they could get ready for dinner. Black chose to leave at that time. Harry would be eating with him in Lupin's rooms with his friends. He bid the Headmaster a good evening and left before having to see Snape again.

Dumbledore found Snape sitting by the window, warmly wrapped in a blanket, watching the evening settle. The sunset was rich in oranges and reds, casting shadows throughout the room. The Potions Master looked old, the Headmaster thought, older than Black in any event. A part of him suddenly realized who actually had gone through the worst hells and who "only" had 12 years stolen.

"Hullo, Severus. Been awake long?" Dumbledore asked quietly, putting a hand on the wizard's shoulder.

"Less than an hour. Just enjoying the sunset," Snape murmured his reply. A second hand was placed on the other shoulder and the Headmaster kneaded gently a moment before leaning over to kiss his friend's head. The younger wizard looked up at his mentor with shy, happy eyes.

"Let's go down and have dinner, Severus," Dumbledore said.


	25. A Promise to be Better 25

A Promise to be Better 25

Author: Raven Dancer

disclaimer: All characters belong to J.K. Rowling except for the Drs. Barnes and Beryl. I receive no monetary compensation for these works.

Summary: falling apart

Snape rested over the weekend. Dumbledore was pleased, but Barnes was still concerned about the problems that nagged at the Potions Master. The Healer spoke at length with Lupin and together they organized another week of escorts and aides in the classroom.

Dumbledore held his comments about the arrangements. Personally he felt it was all too much. He knew Snape would start to resent the intrusion on his privacy soon. Then it would be interesting to see how the Healer handled his patient.

But Dumbledore, in all his infinite wisdom, was wrong. Snape did not complain. The Potions Master, was in fact, very happy to have the back up. The low-level harassment continued; ingredients went missing, directions or lists were altered, even cupboards became stuck. Barnes was aware of all the problems but Snape did not utter one word about it even when asked. When pushed all the Potions Masters would admit was someone was having fun pulling pranks.

Snape absolutely avoided the topic around the Headmaster, even going so far as to leave the room when the Healer brought it up Tuesday evening. Some student or ghost was having a laugh was all. No need to dwell on it the Potions Master figured.

In any case, when the topic was broached around Dumbledore things became tense. The Headmaster would subtly roll his shoulders back and become a bit stiff. To a person who spent the formative years of his life reading two different adults' body language in order to survive these slight adjustments screamed at him. Snape would not chance angering or disappointing his mentor.

Things became a little more stressed on Wednesday morning when George Weasley went back into the alcove next to Snape's office where the students' cupboard were to replace some saguaro cactus ribs.

The door was stuck to begin with. He tugged and finally hit the cupboard with an opening spell. Snape had come back and was just entering the alcove when the door sprang open and a boggart slid out. It took its bead on George, *thank gods for that!* Snape thought knowing exactly what form his boggart would take.

The bloated and bruised corpse of Fred Weasley hovered a little off the ground in front of George. He intellectually knew it was only a boggart, a fake, but all that was forgotten as the emotional latched on and reduced him to a quivering wreck. The young man slumped back against the shelves trying to get away. Snape strode up and sharply waved his wand.

"Riddikulous!" he spat out, shattering the boggart on the first go. Snape put away his wand and carefully crouched next to the shaking young man.

"George?" Snape said gently, getting his attention. The frightened eyes searched for the professor's calm eyes. Without a thought the student leaned forward and latched onto the professor's robes hiding his face.

"You'd think I would have more interesting fears," he muttered inside Snape's robes. He was surprised at the chuckle.

"Just be glad it was your fear and not mine," Snape said, "you'd have a time trying to scrape me off the ceiling.

Let's go to my office and have some hot chocolate sent up." the Potions Master pulled the young man up off the floor and let him stay glued to his side as they walked back into his office. Dobby quickly brought two tall mugs of cocoa and a pile of chocolate chip cookies. The aroma alone began to soothe the distraught student and he finally let go of Snape.

*Snape!* He'd been holding onto Snape for dear life and the older wizard hadn't so much as blinked. The Potions Master had been comforting! As they walked into the labs carrying mugs and cookies George snuck another glance at the wizard.

Tall, thin, pale complexion, greasy hair and tired, very tired. But the anger, the rage, that George was used to seeing (and avoiding when at all possible) was gone. There was some compassion and gentleness in the way he'd helped George up and allowed him to cling to him as long as was necessary.

George had to admit, Fred was right. Snape had really changed. He was still caustic at times, but there were no more cruel put downs and the wizard had thawed slightly. *Like early spring when the first patches of dark earth show through the snow* the young man thought. He then shook his head; too much of Angelina's love poetry!

When Dr. Barnes came to the school that night he went first to Lupin's classroom. It was the unofficial meeting place of his group of helpers. The Healer had been very, very careful in his handling of the students. Snape needed help but Snape did not need them to think him weak and falling apart. The Slytherins as a group protected their head of house fiercely. The few 7th years from other houses were generally interested in potions and wanted the extra class time. A couple detentions, the Weasley twins most notably, actually were concerned about the professor.

"You know, Fred and I want to keep our Monday/Wednesday slot," George was saying after he reported the boggart incidence. Barnes had carefully questioned the young man and Ms. Brown. The conclusion was the boggart slipped in after the first class's ingredients were removed. Slipped in or was put there.

"We both have learned a lot from working with the younger students," the Gryffindor continued. "And we both think someone is out to get Professor Snape. We want to help catch the git!"

The Healer looked carefully at the student. George had stayed after for a private word. Maybe Barnes hadn't been as careful as he thought in hiding the true reasons for the escorts.

"Look, doctor, me and Fred, we know something is going on! We're the two biggest pranksters you'll find at Hogwarts. This git that's bothering the Professor, well it's not funny and it's just not right!" George asserted with some passion. Barnes considered the student for a moment and then threw caution to the wind.

"You're both right," the Healer said quietly, "someone is bothering Professor Snape. The problem is we can't catch whoever it is and the Professor is reluctant to expose the perpetrator." George thought about the admission carefully.

"I suppose if you're trying to change," George mused, "and someone was hell-bent to harass you, then you'd just have to ignore it. Who would have believed before that Snape was being pranked? Of course," the student continued, "who would have cared? Since Professor Snape started trying to teach and not be as nasty towards the students a lot of us are learning more. He's really a great potions' brewer!"

"Yes, he is. Now we just need to watch out for him until the prankster gives up," Barnes said.

"Or he's caught," George commented, his eyes narrowing slightly. With all of his expertise in pranks, he and Fred could probably catch the person dogging Snape.

"That may be difficult," Barnes said. "I'd rather be cautious and not upset Severus. Whoever's doing this might try worse pranks if we attempt to catch them." George thought for a moment, the smoke pouring from his ears. Then he plastered an innocent smile on his face.

"Well, then, we'll just be quiet about it and help in the class. Can Fred come on Monday? He likes the younger kids. I'll stick to Wednesdays with the older," George sounded entirely reasonable and Barnes ag^reed.

"Anything else you noticed?" the Healer asked.

"Well, his office is a right mess of late. Professor Snape always kept it very organized. When we went in for the hot chocolate I noticed his shelves were all out of order," George reported.

"He's probably not been too interested in cleaning," Barnes said. He thanked George and watched him leave.

*Well, if anyone's going to catch Black in the act,* the Healer smirked, *it'll be those twins!*

From Lupin's classroom Barnes made his way to Snape's office. He wanted to see first hand the mess George alluded to. He was very surprised to see the lights on and the door slightly opened. Knocking, he pushed in and saw the Potions Master sitting at his desk asleep.

Quietly Barnes looked about. The shelves were a shambles! They'd just straightened and dusted them two weeks ago. Leaving the mess he went to his patient and put a hand on his back. Warm. A little too warm at that. Snape twitched beneath the touch.

"Severus? Are you awake?" Barnes asked gently.

"Yes," the hoarse voice answered. Carefully the Potions Master sat back. He looked drained.

"Why are you here, Severus? You should have eaten dinner and be up in Albus's rooms now," Barnes stood behind the professor and put both hands on shoulders and neck, reading the fever that was starting to build.

"I wanted to get a fever potion," Snape waved at his shelves. "But I can't seem to find it. I thought I'd rest a bit before I went to bed."

"And dinner?" Barnes pursued, not pointing out the obvious in the Potions Master's statement.

"Not hungry," Snape said quietly. The Healer carefully moved closer, feeding some energy into the ill wizard, working on reducing the fever.

"Does Albus have a stock of potions in his room?" Barnes asked as the wizard relaxed under his fingers.

"Yes, I keep him supplied with the basics," Snape sighed.

"Then let's go get some of his. I'll come by earlier tomorrow and help straighten up this mess with some of your study buddies," Barnes said.

"I thought I'd just sleep in my rooms again," the weary voice nearly shook.

"Didn't you sleep with Albus last night? When I left you were dozing on the couch," the Healer asked quickly.

"No, I came downstairs. I've been up there too much," Snape said. "People are noticing. I need to stay here."

"Who?" Barnes asked. The Potions Master squirmed before answering.

"Black," he finally admitted.

"And?" Barnes pressed. more shifting, then his patient stilled. The Healer felt the internal doors_ close again, one after the other as the emotions were quelled. It was frightening and he instinctively poured more energy in all at once, pushing doors open.

"Black," Snape moaned as the energy filled him.

"Black is one person. Not people. ONE person. Let's go up to Albus's rooms and get a fever potion," Barnes tugged on the professor, bringing him to his feet.

They met Dumbledore on the stairs. The Headmaster was concerned and was coming down to find Snape.

"I was at the ministry this afternoon and missed dinner," the older man explained as he pulled Snape into his rooms. "Minerva stopped in just a few minutes ago. Aren't you hungry, Severus? You missed dinner and didn't eat much lunch."

"I, I was just going to go to bed, Albus," Snape said in a very small voice. The Headmaster glanced at the Healer before slipping an arm around the Potions Master. He immediately noted the fever.

"Child, I missed you when I got back. Eat a little soup with me and then you can clean up and sleep here," Dumbledore gently held him a moment before the internal doors crashed open again and Snape curved against him, laying a weary head on his mentor's shoulder.

"I don't feel well, Albus," soft voice. small voice.

Together Barnes and Dumbledore helped Snape. Fever potion, a cool shower, soft sleep clothes and a mug of clear broth were given in that order. The Headmaster ate a light supper while Barnes continued to ply the Potions Master with broth and juice. Finally Snape crawled into bed.

"Severus, sleep. You'll feel much better in the morning," Barnes said.

"Yes, child, rest. You're safe here. I'll be to bed soon," Dumbledore soothed his friend. Snape curled around his pillow and closed his eyes.

As soon as they'd cleared the door, closing it, Barnes turned angrily on Dumbledore.

"Why did you let him go down to his rooms last night?" the Healer managed to get out through clenched teeth. Dumbledore raised an eyebrow.

"Let him? He simply said he would be fine and left. I didn't have much choice in the matter," the Headmaster fired back.

"He's sick. Was he last night?" the accusation flew.

"No, he wasn't. You scanned him yourself before you left," Dumbledore's voice raised slightly.

"He was asleep! What happened? Why did he feel compelled to leave?" Barnes' voice raised a notch.

"How do I know? Sirius stopped by and," but Dumbledore was quickly cut off.

"Sirius? Did Sirius say something to him and upset him?" the Healer's voice shrilled.

"Nothing different than before," the Headmaster began.

"Severus?" Barnes suddenly turned and caught the Potions Master in the process of going for the office door. How did the wizard get out of the bedroom and so far across the room without them noticing? Dumbledore moved towards him.

"Severus? Where are you going?" the Headmaster asked and reached out.

Snape flinched, drawing back as far as he could, arms wrapping around his torso. His eyes were filled with fear.

"to my room, my room," he stuttered out.

"Albus, back off," Barnes said in sotto voice. Dumbledore moved back giving the Potions Master some room. Barnes moved carefully to the door and stood, hands down, as non threatening as possible.

"Professor Snape? Where are you going, Professor?" the Healer switched to his formal title. Both wizards watched as the sick man jerked slightly and blinked his eyes. From the look on his face he had no idea how he'd gotten there.

"Jeffrey?_ Albus?" he looked at his friends in confusion. "I, I was dreaming about my parents fighting and, and I wanted to go to my bedroom." As the trembling set in Barnes moved slowly towards the Potions Master. With a slight nod he gestured Dumbledore over with him.

"Here, child, come," the Headmaster opened his arms and soon had Snape clinging to him.

"ssshh, you're safe, child," the older man soothed as he rocked slowly. Barnes herded the two to the lounge.

"Let me pulse you awhile, Severus," the Healer offered, sitting back. Dumbledore peeled him off and helped him curl up against Barnes. Blankets were tucked in and he pulled up a chair so he could hold Snape's hand as he was soothed. The exhausted man fell into an uncomfortable sleep.

"What happened?" Dumbledore asked, but Barnes shook his head.

"Later," was all the reply he got.


	26. A Promise to be Better 26

A Promise to be Better 26

Author: Raven Dancer

disclaimer: All characters belong to J.K. Rowling except for the Drs. Barnes and Beryl. I receive no monetary compensation for these works.

Summary: the edge

"Later" wasn't anytime soon.

Snape woke late Thursday morning; he was still in the Headmaster's bed. The Headmaster was still there, reading his mail and sipping tea. Barnes was placidly reading a medical journal of some sort in a chair pulled snug against the bed. The late autumn sun lit the room in a drowsy warmth. Snape simply lie in the nest watching the shadows flit across the letters in Dumbledore's hands.

One hand moved away from the papers, pushed glasses back up on the older wizard's nose. Eyes squinted in concentration as the hand slipped down to rest on Snape's head, absent-mindedly stroking hair. The Potions Master moved his head closer to the warmth. Dumbledore glanced down and smiled.

"Good morning, child," he murmured, deep rich voice.

"Morning," Snape whispered as he hid his face in his mentor's robes. Gentle hands on his back, moving up and down, energy flowing and calming. No one rushing him to answer. No one rushing him to get up and leave. Snape wanted to stay here. He was safe and loved and wanted here.

He fell back asleep.

Waking again. Now his nose twitched. Something smelled very good. Something that smelled like chicken and warmth and sage.

Something filled his nose and he opened his eyes to Dumbledore's smiling eyes and Barnes' gentle hands. He was sitting now. Sitting up against pillows. Warm blankets and the smell of chicken and sage and steam.

It was rich and savory and it slipped over his tongue and down to his stomach. What was that noise? Oh.

His stomach.

Spoon after spoon of savory warmth, sage and chicken passed though his lips and down to his stomach. He sighed.

What's this? A straw poked into his mouth. Gentle hand on his face. Juice. Cool apples and pears danced over his tongue and joined the broth in his warm, content stomach.

Bathroom How did he get here? No matter. His body did what it needed to do. Clean cloth washing his face. Clean soft shirt. Warm blanket. Sleep.

"What did you give him?" Dumbledore asked as Barnes finished tucking blankets around his patient.

"Something to let him sleep deeply. No dreams," Barnes said as he stood up. He walked over to the table and joined the Headmaster for some lunch.

"Can you tell me what happened?" the older man asked as he watched the Healer select a sandwich to go with his soup.

"Near as I can tell he had a flashback; Our arguing seems to have triggered some very unpleasant memories. I guess he was trying to sneak out of the room last night to hide from us, his parent substitutes," Barnes sampled the thick barley soup.

"Is that why he's so tired now?" Dumbledore asked with some concern.

"Somewhat. Plus he had a fever and he was completely exhausted again. It's going to take some time to build him back up, Albus," Barnes sounded conciliatory.

"Why is he so fragile still?" the Headmaster asked. Barnes thought very carefully before he answered.

"I think that Black," he held up a hand to keep the older man quiet.

"Sirius is not trying very hard to work with Severus, you've had to talk with the man several times. You've had to send Severus out of the room and it possibly feels like you're taking Sirius's side over his. Add to that the series of pranks that have been pulled. Nothing really dangerous, just upsetting. It escalated slightly yesterday," Barnes told about the boggart. Dumbledore looked concerned.

"A boggart wouldn't have crawled into that cupboard during class time. It was placed there," the Headmaster said slowly.

"That's what I thought, too. I just don't know who put it in there," Barnes said as convincingly as possible. He didn't want to argue about Black now, not even with Snape fast asleep.

"I did push Sirius on the point Tuesday night. After Severus left. He insists he was not harassing Severus. I have to trust him," the Headmaster concluded.

*Oh no, you don't!* thought Barnes, but again, he didn't pursue the argument. Until Black was caught red-handed and confessed the Healer knew Dumbledore would cling to the slim hope Black was telling the truth. Then all emotional hell would break loose.

He almost was looking forward to it, if only for pure vindication.

"I am going back into the Clinic for a few hours. I will be back late this afternoon to see Severus. We'll get him down to dinner if he's awake enough. Hopefully he can work with his 7th years tomorrow," Barnes had finished lunch and went to get his things.

Dumbledore watched the Healer. He was having his own serious doubts about Black. But what could he do? The man continued to deny harassing Snape! Unless there was proof, then he couldn't just send Black away on conjecture! With a sigh he looked at Snape.

Or could he? Snape meant a great deal to him. His best friend in many ways. But the desperate need was starting to bother him. Sometimes (Black's visits were a relief from the stress of working with Snape. Sometimes they added to it. The door clicked and he noted Barnes had left. Quietly Dumbledore moved to his desk and began to write responses to his mail.

Taking the last table by the door, Fred and George were both glad to see Professor Snape back in his lab Friday after lunch. According to Stevens and Brown, the morning session had gone smoothly. No problems at all. Of course, each group of 7th years were working on their own projects and provided much of their own materials; if any additional ingredients were needed they got them from the stores in the back of the room.

Now, an hour into the class, everything was still going calmly. Snape had been advising another group on their brew while the twins and Angelina carefully prepared a variety of ingredients. Since they were using some fresh devil's tongue, George had taken the extra precaution of having a tube of maiden's hair extract sitting out. If anyone was burned at least the antidote was close.

Fred was first to feel the air brush by him. That slightly itchy feeling that someone or something was leaning over him but not actually touching him. He glanced over at his twin, catching his eye. With a slight shake of Fred's head George's eyes widened. Someone was there!

They'd discussed the possibilities of catching the sneak. But something about Barnes' warning and Snape's reluctance to expose the person had made both brothers very cautious. Off the top of their heads they couldn't think of anyone that would cause embarrassment to Snape or the school if s/he were caught. Still, better to err and be conservative than have the whole thing backfire.

If the person was under an invisibility cloak, which was very likely, spilling or spraying any potions would not really affect them. Of course, being invisible didn't preclude tripping or hitting. Or a well placed spell.

They spent the next half-hour carefully watching for any more signs of the intruder. Angelina, in their confidences, continued to brew their potion making it look like all three were working together. Snape finally came over and leaned on their worktable, inspecting the cauldron and ingredients.

Angelina nudged Fred. The devil's tongue beaker moved with a slight jerk and spilled on the Potions Master's exposed hand. Several things happened at once: George grabbed Snape's hand before the wizard tried to cover it with his other hand thus compounding the injury. Angelina snatched up the maiden's hair and began to pour the antidote over the burning flesh.

And Fred managed to snag the invisible entity. With a feral grin and a tight hold around someone's waist, he snugged up against the enemy and waited until Angelina took the Professor over to the sink to finish cleaning the wound. George sidled up to the other side of his twin, feeling the silky texture of a cloak between them.

"Well, well, well, what have we here?" whispered Fred as he and his brother

"Tall git, aren't you," George quietly commented as he cuffed the hidden face, a hard slap. There was a low growl, but the captured prankster didn't talked.

"You're going to leave, slime ball, and not bother Professor Snape any more," Fred spat out.

"No more tripping. No more mucking about in the dungeons, no more pranks!" George declared.

"We're gonna let you go this time. But if you keep up bothering Professor Snape we will catch you again," Fred said firmly.

"Next time, you won't get off so easy," George shoved into the invisible figure, sending it crashing onto the floor. They saw a flash of shoes. Whoever it was fell hard enough to bruise. The twins listened to the sound of someone scurrying out the door.

"Get him?" Angelina asked as she moved back to her seat. Professor Snape was rummaging around his desk for a healing potion.

"Oh, yes, we got him," Fred said with a small smile.

Barnes arrived just as the last students were packing up in the labs. He moved forward to catch Snape at his desk. At least the Potions Master looked better, having slept most of Thursday and all the previous night. Fred, or was it George?, slid up next to the Healer.

"Got 'em," the boy whispered into his ear, "gave him a bit of a warning. Really a shame he tripped." Sly grin.

"Who?" Barnes asked quietly.

"Didn't see. Tall. An adult male or maybe an older student," the twin reported. Both glanced over at the Potions Master as he stood and walked towards them. Without missing a beat the student eyed the wizard carefully.

"I was just telling Dr. Barnes he needed to check your hand. That liquified devil's tongue must have burned," Weasley said. Barnes was impressed how quickly the student covered his tracks. Impressed and wary. These two boys were going to be let loose on the rest of the world after this school year?

"Here, Severus, let's go back to your office and I'll look more closely at it. Then we can straighten the shelves," the Healer said.

"George and I are free, sir, do you need some help? We have better than an hour until practice," Fred offered.

"Certainly, it's quite a jumble," Barnes accepted. Snape just looked from one to the other with a raised eyebrow.

Tugging on the Potions Master's sleeve, Barnes brought him back into the office. If anything it was more messy. Ingredients had been spilled, bottles broken. The Healer glanced at his patient.

"Temper tantrum?" he asked quietly.

"No. The room rearranges itself while I'm out," Snape commented. Barnes noted he carefully checked both chairs before they sat down. A bit jumpy. Once seated the twins arrived with a couple other older students.

"We'll start cleaning up before we sort it out," Stevens said. With a nod Barnes turned back to Snape.

"Ok, let's see it," the Healer held out his hands and immediately made clucking noises as he looked at the burn. "Maiden's hair?" he asked.

"Yes, then ice water bath," Snape said absently.

"What's wrong, Severus?" Barnes asked quietly as he opened his satchel and looked for some healing potion.

"Nothing," Snape replied. the Healer looked up at him, then send a warmth of energy through their joined hands.

"Ok," the Potions Master whispered, "the beaker jumped."

"Jumped?" Barnes asked pretending to be confused.

"It jumped. Or was picked up and dumped on my hand," Snape looked away. The students were busily engaged but he did not trust anything. He couldn't look weak. Not weak.

"Your little friend was back, then," the Healer began to to anoint the burn with potion. He felt the pain tension relax as the burn disappeared.

"Yes. But what can I do? I can't catch him. If it is my old 'friend', and he was unmasked, then he'd have to be returned, at the very least! The Headmaster would be very di-disappointed," Snape managed, without eye contact. The emotional anxiety was building quickly and Barnes sent a judicious amount of energy pulsing through.

"I know, Severus, I know. You're going to have to face Albus sometime," the doctor said quietly. "Tell him what you suspect." He watched Snape move uncomfortably, then still as the students moved around the shelves. Withdrawing his hand, the Potions Master inspected it.

"Good job, Barnes, thank you," and the Healer watched his patient slip back into his unemotional, very controlled, shell.

The weekend was very calm. Barnes did not press Snape into talking about his past, nor did he press him on his problems with Black. The twins seemed to have scared the animagus off, in any event. Black did not come up to see Dumbledore except for a few minutes on Sunday, and only then to turn in a token found down by the lake.

Well, Saturday dinner wasn't calm. The elves decided on a mexican theme. Enchiladas, chile relenos and floating piñatas decorated the great hall. The food was actually pretty good. Dodging the floating paper mache was the tricky part.

Dessert was flan, a caramelized sugar custard and candies. The custard came in the usual manner on the table tops. The candies descended from above; the piñatas all exploded sending the sweets flying all over the hall. After a moment of sheer panic, people started to laugh and finally settle down to eat.

Nurse Pomfrey had several requests for sleeping aides that night.

The group of students helping Snape met informally Sunday afternoon. All had been pleased that no pranks had been pulled over the weekend and that the Potions Master's offices were still clean. Fred and George secretly hoped the pranks had ended for good.

Monday morning found Kathryn Brown setting up ingredients with Professor Snape. The potion formula was neatly written on the board as well as the list of ingredients. First years came in and listened politely (always a plus) and then made their potions.

Fred came in and relieved Brown. He replenished supplies and checked the board. Once more everything was in order and the class went fine. Even Snape seemed to relax as lunchtime came. Goyle and Parkinson had come down to walk the professor up to lunch.

Trouble came after lunch. Arileus was in the classroom. The new potion was being written on the board while the student assembled the new set of ingredients.

"Professor Snape? Where is the ostrich liver?" the student called from the cupboards. Snape excused himself from the group of second years that were taking notes and came back to join him.

"It was on the shelf with the other bird entrails," the Potions Master said.

"Maybe I left it in my office."

"I'll check," and Arileus went to open the door. It wouldn't budge.

"I probably locked it," Snape explained, putting his hand on the doorknob and whispering an opening charm. The handle turned and the door swung opened. As it opened, Snape stepped forward and a full bucket of liquid muck fell, covering him completely in a disgusting smelling mix. Uncontrolled laughter burst out from behind the professor and student.

Then some second years screamed.

There was something or someone laughing in the free space between the students' area and the door to the teacher's office. The laughter stopped abruptly and something scurried out, bumping the hall door soundly.

Silent, Snape moved to the safety shower and thoroughly rinsed himself off as Arileus used his wand to clean up most of the disgusting mess on the floor. Once rinsed, the Professor grabbed a towel and went to calm the students. It took a while to convince them everything was fine and that he, Snape, would talk with the Headmaster about the problem.

It was a defining moment; Snape would have tolerated the pranks as long as needed without complaint to his mentor. He did not want to upset the Headmaster. Did not want to disappoint him. But now the students were being affected. They were scared by the invisible laughing creature that had attacked their professor.

So with no small amount of trepidation, Snape sent a message up to Dumbledore to speak with him after his last class. He sent his normal group of 'study buddies' up to the library and waited for the Headmaster.

Dumbledore came in, rather concerned. He had heard from Arileus about the bucket of filth that had covered Snape as well as how scared the students had been.

"Well, Severus, I hear you had a bit of excitement this afternoon," the Headmaster began.

"Yes, uh, the offal was rather pungent," Snape admitted.

"Do you have any idea who is behind this set of pranks?" Dumbledore asked, looking straight at Snape willing him not to say Sirius.

Snape knew who. But he couldn't say who without upsetting the Headmaster. On the other hand, if he didn't complain, the children might get hurt. The 'pranks' were just starting to escalate. But what if some filibuster fireworks were tossed into a cauldron? He remembered the burns he'd suffered all those years ago.

Snape would not complain for himself. He would only complain to protect his students.

"I think Sirius is behind the pranks, Headmaster," he said as calmly as he could, willing himself to stand straight as the disappointment painted Dumbledore's face. With a heavy sigh the older wizard turned away.

"Are you sure, professor? Have you proof?" the Headmaster asked, hoping for a negative response.

"I have no concrete proof, Albus," Snape admitted, his feet fidgeting all at once.

"Then I wish you wouldn't," Dumbledore began, but Snape stepped forward and placed a hand on his mentor's arm.

"I have no proof, except it's the same cycle of pranks Sirius pulled on me years ago. Don't you recall, Albus?" Snape was desperate to have the Headmaster believe.

"I recall you had something to do with some of those pranks," Dumbledore said dryly.

"But not this time, Albus. Not this time. Don't you remember? How Sirius would hide behind his words? He wouldn't actually lie, he'd just tell his version very carefully. He's not harassing me, Albus, he's pulling pranks. Have you asked Sirius specifically about pranks?" Snape was trembling now. He could tell Dumbledore wasn't pleased, that the wizard was actually getting angry.

"That was twenty years ago. Sirius has told me on several occasions he is not harassing you. He promised me he would not hurt you," Dumbledore straightened, looking straight into Snape's eyes.

"He would not lie, Severus," there was conviction in the voice and Snape looked away filled with shame.

"I think, Severus, you should possibly rethink your accusations," he stepped away to better look at his friend.

Snape knew what he had to do. He stood up straight, squaring his shoulders slightly. Just like his father told him to do. It didn't matter how badly the punishment hurt, stand and take it you selfish, insignificant brat!

"Yes, Headmaster, I certainly will put some thought into this matter," Snape answered as calmly as he possibly could.

"Good. I will leave you to it. I will see you at dinner," the Headmaster turned, almost hoping Snape would protest. Push his own resolve. But there was nothing more forthcoming. With a sigh, Dumbledore returned to his rooms.

Snape withdrew to his bedroom, locked the door and cowered under the covers of his bed.


	27. A Promise to be Better 27

A Promise to be Better 27

Author: Raven Dancer

disclaimer: All characters belong to J.K. Rowling except for the Drs. Barnes and Beryl. I receive no monetary compensation for these works.

Summary: Falling into the void

He woke in the warmth, but something was missing. He was alone. No Albus. No Jeffrey. When he woke from feeling bad they had been around. Rolling onto his back he looked at the ceiling.

His room then. Tired, he wondered what had woke him up. Then everything solidified as the pain shot through him. Grabbing his arm he stared at the dark tattoo. Voldemort was calling.

*What am I suppose to do?* he whimpered to himself. Dumbledore was upset with him. He couldn't go to his mentor.

But he'd promised he would go to the Headmaster when he was summoned by Voldemort.

*Albus loves me* Snape told himself firmly. Even if he were disappointed, he still cared for the Potions Master. Snape believed that. He really did. He just didn't want to have to test out his belief.

Except the dark mark burned and it wouldn't get better until Dumbledore soothed his arm or he went to Voldemort. That was not his first choice!

Tentatively climbing out of bed Snape decided to go to the Headmaster. *Albus will help me. Albus loves me* he repeated to himself.

Sirius Black accepted the refill on his tea. He'd been lounging in the Headmaster's office for the best part of the afternoon discussing his time in Azkaban a little and reminiscing a lot about before he'd been sent away.

Black was avoiding Lupin and Harry. They'd had a bit of an argument just after lunch. Well, not a bit: it had been a rather loud and sure t~o be continued row about harassing the Snape.

Harry had found out that the Weasley twins had tripped him in the dungeons. Had confronted him in front of Lupin at lunch in the DADA professor's rooms. Unfortunately, Lupin had heard about the invisible visitor and the fall. He'd insisted on seeing Black's knees and the telling bruises that blossomed there.

Both Harry and Lupin then became unreasonable. They thought he'd lied to the Headmaster! He hadn't lied! He just neglected to tell him the entire story of the games he was playing with the Snape. Just silly games.

Just like old times.

Every single one of the pranks Black had pulled were identical to the ones he'd done when they were in school together. At that time he'd earned chuckles and warm smiles from most of the staff and especially from his own house mates.

He just couldn't figure out why no one laughed now. It was still funny to him!

A knock at the door broke into his reverie and there, speaking of the devil, was the Snape. Poor git almost looked tired, holding his arm and looking at the old man.

"Albus, could I have a moment? Please?" Snape asked hesitantly.

"Certainly, Severus, what do you need?" Dumbledore asked. Snape glanced at Black, happily seated by the fire.

"Could I see you alone? Just for a minute?" Snape asked. It was reasonable, the Potions Master figured, he'd left the room on several occasions so that Black could see the Headmaster alone.

"I told you Albus, he doesn't like me," Black pouted. Dumbledore looked from one man to the other.

"Nonsense, Sirius," and he turned to Snape. "Severus, you can talk to me here."

"But, I leave when Sirius wants to speak with you," the agitated wizard knew he was bordering on whining, but damn it, he had given Black all the space he'd asked for! Wh»y shouldn't he get some privacy, too? Black sneered causing Dumbledore to sigh.

"Severus," he said in his most reasonable tone, "that isn't the point. We're all on the same side. What do you want?"

"I want to see you alone for a moment," Snape now whined, his hand kneading the burning mark.

"Severus, if you can't tell me here, then you'll just have to go down to your rooms and wait until we're through or take care of it yourself!" the Headmaster said calmly. It was entirely reasonable to expect Snape to speak in front of Black. If not, he could wait. Black was smiling, waiting. Why wouldn't Snape speak?

Without a word Snape turned and went to the door. He looked back once, still holding is arm, then left. Dumbledore watched him go, feeling very uneasy about the entire conversation. He considered going after his friend but Black's laugh stopped him. He turned to face the animagus.

Before he could speak to Black, the door opened a›gain. Lupin and Harry walked in. Both looked angry.

"Headmaster, we need to speak to you," Lupin began, glaring at Black.

"Professor Dumbledore," Harry nodded as he came to stand beside the DADA professor.

Now Dumbledore uneasiness grew tenfold. Black was looking away, very surly and defensive. Harry was thrumming with anger. Lupin, older and more in control than the other two, was none the less upset.

"Sit, please," the older wizard tried. Neither complied.

"Sir, my cloak has gone missing," Harry began without preamble. "I thought I'd just misplaced it earlier last week but after tearing apart all my things this morning I could not find it. Ron swears he did not take it. Hermione didn't take it either. The only other person who knows about my cloak besides you and Remus is Sirius."

"I certainly have no need to sneak around the school," Lupin ground out eyes burning at the animagus. Black glared at his friend.

"Are you accusing me of sneaking around the castle, Remus?" Black asked aggressively hoping to make the wizard back down. Lupin had not cared for confrontation in the past and had not stood up to the animagus when pranks bordered on cruel.

"I am not accusing you, Sirius. I know you are," Lupin said, suddenly becoming sad and quiet.

"You've been hurting Professor Snape," Harry insisted.

"I've hurt no one. I have not harassed Snape!" declared Black with a sneer. "Why would I bother hurting a filthy Slytherin? I may have been locked up all these years, but I'm a Gryffindor! I have been loyal and true! That snake is a death eater for gods sake!" Black spat out venomously. Dumbledore blanched.

"You've been pulling pranks, Sirius, haven't you? Harmless little pranks to amuse us," the older wizard's voice shook. Lupin and Harry turned their attention to him. The DADA professor crossed over and stood next to Dumbledore, placing his hand on his shoulder.

"Sirius, have you been pulling pranks?" the HeaKdmaster looked straight into Black's eyes hoping against hope the answer would be 'no'. But realizing it would be

"Yes, I have. You never cared about that before," Black tossed out. "All those years we ruled! We taunted and teased the Snape. You, you and all the rest of the staff didn't care! You laughed just as much as we did. He's only a stupid Slytherin, old man."

"Severus is my best friend and you've caused me to treat him horribly. No, I did that myself. I wanted to believe you, Sirius! I wanted everything to be right again," the Headmaster sat looking every one of his years, old and frail.

Black had the decency to look ashamed. He squirmed in his chair before speaking again.

"Then you'd better go down to him. He was about to tear his arm off the way he was clawing at himself," Black said. Dumbledore blanched.

"What do you mean, clawing at himself?" the Headmaster eked out.

"Well, he was holding his left arm, his fingers were digging into his forearm," Black remarked. Why did Dumbledore look so gray? Was he going to be sick?

"Albus, Harry and I saw him on the stair. He said he was going into Hogsmeade," Lupin quickly tried to assure the Headmaster. At least Snape would be with Barnes.

Without a word Dumbledore pushed up and stumbled to the computer terminal. He tapped in a quick message before hitting the send button. Harry followed him over and put a hand on the older wizard's shoulder.

"What's wrong, Remus? I was just having some fun," Black whispered to his friend.

"Oh, shut up," Lupin snarled. "Don't you understand anything but your petty games? Snape was a death eater; Voldemort has risen. If his arm were hurting it's a sure bet he was summoned."

"But why the hell would he go?" Black was somewhat confused. Wouldn't Snape just stay?

"For one, the summons hurts a great deal. For another, the Headmaster is the only one who could terminate it," growled Lupin.

Black sat there and slowly put all the pieces together. He wasn't stupid, only out of touch.

"So when I pushed Albus to make him expose himself in front of me, he went to," began Black

"Hogsmeade, I hope," Lupin completed.

They all watched the computer. A message flashed on the screen and Dumbledore lowered his head into his hands and sobbed.

"No, Severus is not here" Harry read aloud.


	28. A Promise to be Better 28

A Promise to be Better 28

Author: Raven Dancer

disclaimer: All characters belong to J.K. Rowling except for the Drs. Barnes, Beryl and Gibbons. I receive no monetary compensation for these works.

Summary: three strikes?

Snape walked out of Hogwarts and began moving towards Hogsmeade. He could go to Barnes, he supposed. Barnes would at least stay with him until the pain subsided.

But what good was that? He was just Barnes' patient. The Healer was obligated to help him, wasn't he? His head was beginning to throb, joining the burning arm.

As he neared the edge of the grounds he slowed. Maybe he could go back to his rooms and wait for Dumbledore. Didn't he say he'd be down later? Snape's face fell.

No, the Headmaster said he should take care of it himself.

Sent him away.

Dumbledore had his Gryffindors back. Why the hell did he need or even want Snape? *I'm nothing, nothing*, he raggedly drew in a deep breath.

Why was he here? Voldemort wanted him.

True, Voldemort wanted to torture him and watch him writhe in pain, but he wanted him. No one else did.

*Voldemort doesn't want me either*, Snape moved into the edge of the forest that was near the road. He sat down against a tree and curled his arms around his knees.

If he sat very still and didn't move it would all go away. Just don't move. After a few minutes the pain increased and he looked at his dark mark wearily.

No, it would not go away. It would keep hurting until Albus took away the pain. But Albus wouldn't take it away. He only annoyed and disappointed Albus. He was worthless.

Snape remembered Black sitting there with a tea cup talking with Albus. Albus loved Black, he protected the animagus. Gave him a job protecting Hogwarts. Snape couldn't do that. Snape couldn't do anything to help the school.

*worthless worthless worthless* echoed in his aching head.

But Snape could go back to Voldemort. What did he have to loose? Nothing. Absolutely nothing. If he were particularly lucky Voldemort would kill him when he finished. He stood and apparated.

Gibbons stood on the porch watching the grounds before him. Snape would never be stupid enough to show. At least, he hoped Snape wouldn't show. Voldemort was angry tonight. He wanted some sport. Even Pettigrew was hiding from the dark mage.

"Any sight of the bastard?" Malfoy growled as he joined Gibbons on the porch. He had been summoned earlier to discuss a new 'project' but Voldemort had thrown him out of the room without comment after becoming frustrated.

"No. He's not going to show," the other man answered.

"Only a fool would come, " Malfoy growled. Gibbons shrugged. Voldemort was powerful and was gaining strength all the time. This preoccupation with getting a hold of Snape was unsettling. He was beginning to doubt his decision to join the death eaters, as strong as they were.

"Well, I'll be inside. Getting cold out here," Malfoy turned and entered the mansion.

Gibbons leaned against the post. The hell if he'd go inside to listen to Malfoy pontificate on his purity crap. As he considered what he would like to do to the 'pure' Mr. Malfoy a wizard apparated in the yard.

Snape!

What the hell did the idiot think he was doing? Gibbons quickly walked off the porch and approached Snape. Oh, did the wizard look bad!

"Severus, I'm surprised," Gibbons watched as Snape gathered himself to his full height.

"I was called, Gibbons," Snape barely looked at the man as he walked to the mansion. He was inconsequential.

"Yes, but you didn't have to come. You ignored it before," Gibbons pointed out.

"Well, I'm not ignoring it now. Lord Voldemort has called me. Here I am," Snape stepped into the mansion.

"You'll need to wait. The lord asked me to announce any arrivals," Gibbons hurriedly said.

"You've been promoted, haven't you Gibbons," Snape drawled sarcastically.

"Just wait here," Gibbons ground out, leaving the Hogwarts' spy in the sitting room.

Gibbons continued deeper into the mansion towards the parlor where Voldemort brooded. The Dark Lord preferred three different rooms. Tonight, the old dining room.

"My lord, Severus Snape has arrived," he said with a very slight bow. Announcing visitors was actually a fairly safe job and it allowed him run of the mansion. He could hear all sorts of interesting things, too.

Like the plan to capture certain aurors. That was a nice piece of information. One that would be good to send back to Dumbledore with Gibbon's name behind it. He wondered if Snape would survive this encounter.

"Severus is here?" Voldemort was delighted. Actually quite a frightening sight in Gibbon's estimation. There was a twisted, disgusting element that he couldn't quite put his finger on. Nor did he really want to.

"Yes, lord. Shall I show him in?" he asked in his most unpressing tones.

"Where is Severus now?" Voldemort asked nearly eagerly. Gibbons suddenly thought he knew what that element was and wished he hadn't thought of it.

"He's in the sitting room, lord," Gibbons reported.

"I will go to him," the dark mage said decisively, "assist me."

Gibbons went to the seated creature and helped him stand up. Although he was the most powerful wizard Gibbons ever had met (he'd not met Dumbledore, so he couldn't compare the feelings of substantive powers) Voldemort hadn't completely mastered his own new body.

Once upright the dark lord was more than able to make his way through the mansion. Gibbons shadowed his master do~wn the stairs into the grand entrance. It must have been an impressive room back in its heyday. Now it was filthy, covered in webs and moldering in disuse.

Voldemort paused and Gibbons walked by him. It was his job to announce the dark lord's entrance into any room. With a bow at the door, Gibbons swept it open and

Froze. Damn!

Screams filled the air as he looked into the sitting room. It seemed Snape had not been alone. Lucius Malfoy sat in Lord Voldemort's winged chair, wand out, with the same lustfully demonic gaze fixed on his face as Voldemort got when he tortured various beings.

This was not good. Plus Gibbons could not hide.

Voldemort silently roared into the room, his presence towering over all three wizards.

"FINITUM!" he bellowed, releasing Snape from the cruciatus curse that had wrung him out. He nudged the limp body with his foot. Blood dripped from the wizard's nose as he drew great, ragged breaths of air in.

"Gibbons, see to Severus," Voldemort turned away. There was too much for Gibbons to see, muscles were spasming from the curse, sweaty hair clung to the wizard's pale face. The blood stood out bright red against the black and white.

Lucius Malfoy slowly moved himself out of the chair, assuming the position of servitude he so wanted Snape to have take before him. But Snape hadn't prostrated himself, had fought the curse. Fought the curse without any sound for delicious long moments. Twisting and twitching on the ground. Malfoy licked his lips at the memory wondering if it was actually going to be worth it once the dark lord was done with him.

With barely concealed rage Voldemort stood over Malfoy. This one couldn't compare to Snape. This one started screaming nearly immediately. This one soiled himself within the first minutes. Snape, Snape! That one was sooo delicious in his torment, twisted and fought the curse. Held out through several applications. The sweat, the groveling, the hips. Oh, those hips!

Voldemort had not yet gained complete control over this new body, had not yet experienced again all the pleasures the flesh could give. He'd tried. Unsuccessfully. Neither female or male had kept him interested for long.

But Snape. Last summer he'd held out so long. Voldemort remembered removing Snape's robes one by one between applications of the cruciatus. Down to his skin, slick with sweat, prostrate on the ground finally begging to be released from the pain. Voldemort felt something stirring.

Glancing over at Snape the dark lord wondered idly if he could take the wizard now. But his toy was broken. There was no sport in taking a body so near death. Instead Voldemort turned his attention to Malfoy.

"He'd better not die, Lucius. You could never begin to pay me for the loss of Snape," Voldemort hissed.

"Eneverate," Gibbons murmured, waiting for a response. He repeated the charm once more, wondering if it were too late. After a point there was no waking up. Finally dull eyes opened and looked around.

"Come on Severus, Lord Voldemort is waiting!" the wizard growled encouragingly. Snape continued to look at the sitting room, then at the dark lord himself.

A very disappointed Voldemort. With a moan Snape turned over and flopped on his face. At the least he didn't see Malfoy.

Snape had known the dark lord found him 'appealing', but the very thought of Malfoy touching him sickened him more if that were possible. He had not liked what Voldemort had nearly done to him last summer.

"My lord, I'm sorry. I came, but," and Snape began to retch as his stomach rebelled. *But I can't even please the dark lord! I'm worthless!* Snape lamented to himself.

Voldemort was not able to hear the internal dialogue, nor would he have been interested if he had; he spoke to Gibbons.

"Return him. He is useless to me now!" and then he looked at Malfoy.

"But you, Lucius," Voldemort said in a soft, oily voice that made flesh crawl, "you Lucius will provide me with some sorely needed entertainment, won't you?"

Quickly levitating Snape, Gibbons fled the room and closed the door as quickly as he dared. He quelled a revolted shiver as he took his trembling burden outside. The cold air seemed to do more to revive the wizard and soon he was standing.

"Better, Severus?" Gibbons asked. Snape only nodded.

"Well, I'll see you back to Hogwarts and they'll take care of you," he tried a hand at soothing the wretched figure next to him, but the comment only seem to make it worse.

Gibbons had to go so far as to hold Snape tight so he wouldn't collapse and apparated the two of them into the Forbidden Forest. Once there he easily pushed Snape on the path to the castle.

"Severus, tell Dumbledore that the death eaters are going after three aurors," Gibbons told Snape firmly.

"They've targeted Rennet, Sylvan and Matthias," the death eater continued as he tugged Snape further down the pat.

"They're loners, no one will miss them for days. Voldemort wants to question them and then kill them. You need to tell Dumbledore to protect them!" Gibbons looked at Snape. Had he heard?

"Severus?" he nudged the seriously flagging wizard. "Did you hear me?"

"Rennet, Sylvan and Matthias. Targeted. Need to protect them," Snape repeated succinctly.

"Look, old man, I know you hurt plenty right now, but you'll be back to Albus soon. That Healer, Barnes, will be around too. You'll be fine," Gibbons soothed, wondering why he felt compelled to do so.

"It doesn't matter. They don't want me. I'm useless to the Headmaster. I'm useless to Voldemort. I'm best off dead," Snape said dully, stumbling over exposed roots. The blood had stopped flowing, but his face and hands were still red and sticky. Gibbons stared at the Potions Master. Oh damn! He hadn't counted on this! Snape lost favor with Dumbledore? That couldn't be true. And Voldemort actually did want him, but only if he were healthy enough to torture and rape. *gods, that's a horrible thought!*

"Severus, you're not useless. You've got this vital bit of information! You're a good spy, even Voldemort thinks you're good for that!" Gibbons lied quickly. His only chance at getting the information back was through Snape.

"Information? About the aurors?" Snape asked confused.

"Yes, Rennet, Sylvan and Matthias! You are their only hope! You need to tell Dumbledore. He'll be pleased, Severus, very pleased, with you then!" Gibbons played on Snape's desperate desire to be accepted by the Headmaster. For a moment the death eater was afraid Snape was going to cry. But the wizard finally pulled himself upright and moved away from him.

"I can go on from here, Gibbons," Snape announced. Gibbons was not sure, but decided to let him go on. They were closer to the school now and that put him in danger.

"Ok, Severus. Just continue down the path and let Albus know," he bowed slightly. With a nod Snape moved on. Gibbons watched him stumble.

*I'm going to send an owl immediately,* he told himself as he apparated not to the Manor, but to Hogsmeade. With Malfoy 'indisposed' there was no chance anyone would be watching Gibbons now. He looked about the empty square, then moved towards the warm light spilling out of the Three Broomsticks.

Jeffrey Barnes nearly ran up the moving stairs to the Headmaster's office. Snape had gone missing. No matter what the circumstances Dumbledore would be at the least worried. The Healer wasn't expecting complete collapse.

As he entered the room he saw Lupin and Black sitting near Harry, who was standing next to a shaking, crying, Dumbledore. Without a word the Healer strode up to the Headmaster and gathered him into his arms.

"ssshh, it's ok Albus," he soothed, gently sending enough energy to help calm the older wizard.

"N-n-n-o, it's n-n-not! I sent him away, Jeffrey! I sent him to die," Dumbledore sniffed, not even trying to stop crying. Barnes looked questioningly over at the now clustered group of wizards. Why wasn't he surprised to see Black in the thick of things?

"Snape came up to see the Headmaster privately, but I wouldn't let him," Black said haltingly. The sight of the invincible older wizard so hurt and lost was horrible.

"We think Voldemort was summoning Professor Snape," Harry added.

"He didn't want me to know," Black said, "Dumbledore insisted he speak in front of me, and when he wouldn't he told him to go downstairs and take care of it himself." The animagus was just beginning to understand the gravity of the situation and was unable to move, frozen in place as he spoke.

"We think he's gone on to Voldemort, since he didn't go into Hogsmeade to you," Lupin said quietly. Barnes continued to hold Dumbledore, now pulling the older wizard onto the couch with him. The Healer began to rock slowly as he quickly formulated plans.

"Remus, you need to have the house elves look for Severus. They are in the Forbidden Forest, too. Hopefully one of them saw something. Harry, send a message to the clinic, to my father James. Tell him to keep an eye out for Severus on the off chance he did go into town," Barnes watched as Lupin and the student moved to action. His eyes then fell on Black.

"Bring me my satchel, Black," he said gruffly. As much as he had wanted the man exposed as the culprit, he did not want Dumbledore to be this hurt. Nor did he want Snape in so much danger. Mute, the animagus brought the bag and held it open as the Healer rummaged a bit, finally pulling out a vial. Indicating to Black to remove the bag, Barnes opened the vial carefully.

"Albus? I need to give you some potion to help you calm down," Barnes said quietly. He managed to roll Albus's head off his shoulder; tears still slipping down the older man's cheeks. The Healer got the vial between his teeth and tipped it in. Sputtering, Dumbledore swallowed the bitter brew. Tossing the empty vial aside he watched the Headmaster's face a moment.

"There, Albus. Feel better?" Barnes asked calmly. Tears had stopped for the most part and the dull blue eyes opened, looking around the room.

"Damn you and your damned potions," Dumbledore cursed, head clearing, "and damn me thrice for being an old fool."

"Sorry, I'm in the healing business. I don't do dams," Barnes gently quipped. The Headmaster just glared.

"You need to get yourself together, for Severus. He's going to need you when he gets back," Barnes continued.

"If he gets back," Dumbledore whispered sadly.

"He'll come back, you know Severus. He loves you," Barnes said and with Black's help the Headmaster stood up. The Healer quelled immediately the despondency that threatened to rise up within himself. Snape couldn't die. Not like this.

"What did you give me, Jeffrey?" Dumbledore felt like his veins ran with ice. Cold, uncaring. He knew he should be very upset but he just couldn't.

"Just something to quell those emotions of yours," Barnes said as he went to ring for tea. This left the Headmaster standing with Black. For a moment Barnes thought he'd made a very bad move, but the older wizard merely glared and then walked over to the table, seated himself and waited for the tea.

"How long has Severus been gone?" Barnes asked no one in particular.

"An hour? Give or take," Lupin said as he sat next to the Headmaster.

"We're in for a long night, then," the Healer remarked as the tea came up. A plate of fruit and cheese joined the basket of breads. Harry reached over and began to munch on apple and cheese. Black smiled slightly at his godson. His godson looked away.

It was nearly three hours later, with Harry curled up on the lounge fast asleep against his godfather, when the owl came. There was a tapping at the window, insistent tapping, and Barnes roused himself from the couch to open it. The small brown owl, one that both Lupin and Barnes recognized from the Three Broomsticks, fluttered over to the Headmaster and proffered his message.

Dumbledore unfolded the parchment, slowly sitting up straighter as he read the message.

"He's back, worse for wear, but he's back!" the Headmaster held the message out for the Healer to read.

"Left in the Forbidden Forest same place as last. Has message for you. Bring Barnes." he handed the note over to Lupin.

"We need to go get him," Lupin stood up followed by the Healer. Dumbledore seemed frozen on the couch.

"Albus, we need to go," Barnes said gently.

"What's going to happen?" Dumbledore shook slightly, the potion had worn off.

"He could just come back to us as if nothing had changed," Barnes mused, "but, unfortunately, he's probably going to be distant and hurt and untouchable. Don't react if he shies away, Albus. He's hurt on many levels."

It was after midnight and very, very cold. It had not snowed, but it might by the week's end. They had woken Black; his animagus nose would be very helpful. Harry had been left asleep wrapped in warm blankets.

"Do you think he could have already come in?" asked Lupin as he stood shivering in the starlight. The moon was in her la

st quarter and had no effect on him.

"No, the elves would have told us," Dumbledore said shortly. They watched Black casting about for a scent. In the distance a wolf bayed in the forest.

"We need to find him," Lupin remarked and began to move towards the darkness. They stilled again as twigs snapped and leaves rustled. Something large was coming their way, coming to the edge of the forest. The three wizards stopped, although 'Snuffles' raised his head and barked several times.

Out of the shadows Firenze strode, a tall and imposing centaur.

"Headmaster Dumbledore, I have someone to return to

you," the creature spoke gravely, moving further out into the pale moonlight. On his back, leaning heavily against the centaur's human-like torso, was Severus Snape.


	29. A Promise to be Better 29

A Promise to be Better 29

Author: Raven Dancer

disclaimer: All characters belong to J.K. Rowling except for the Drs. Barnes, Beryl and Gibbons. I receive no monetary compensation for these works.

Summary: returning?

Well, coming back wasn't so bad, Snape decided as the centaur lifted him off the ground. Oh, he hurt, he was freezing cold, he was unwanted and unloved, but he had a message for the Headmaster that needed to be delivered before he could curl up and die. More of a purpose than he'd had in awhile.

He leaned forward against the warmth of the furry back, holding on as best he could. Firenze moved slowly, seeming to know the wizard on his back was too injured to stay on properly. He picked along the path carefully. On the edge of the forest, on the path ahead, Firenze saw two wizards, a werewolf and a large, black dog.

Dumbledore, by the length of the beard, was among them. Good. This human was his, he bore the mark of Dumbledore's affection. There was a faint glow it could see in the damaged wizard's aura, that bespoke the Headmaster.

As it neared the wizards the dog began to bark. *Ah, another wizard!* Firenze thought. He called out to the Headmaster.

With much thanks from the werewolf, the other two wizards gently pulled the damaged one off the centaur's back. Firenze wondered if he'd be all right. Professor Snape had slunk through the forest before, returning from whatever evil places he had gone to, but he'd never been hurt as often as this year.

All three were now bent over the unconscious man. The dog was nearby, rather stiff. The centaur idly wondered if the dog/wizard didn't approve of Snape. Firenze mused over the fact that many of his fellow centaurs did not approve of him, either. He knew Bane would be along later to chastise him for helping the humans again. He snorted, deciding he'd just tell the old horse the alignment of Mars and Jupiter were difficult to interpret.

Pushing the amusing thought aside, Firenze watched with some interest as Dumbledore gathered the wizard up and held him tight. This was worse than last summer when the centaur had found the wizard curled up near dead on the forest floor. With that image firmly engraved in his head, Firenze returned to the forest.

Snape slammed back into consciousness. Everything hurt. He thought perhaps his robes hurt, too. There was warmth surrounding him but he could still feel the sharp stones and tree litter on the ground. Snape struggled to open his eyes.

"sshh, child, you're fine," Dumbledore soothed. Snape flinched, recoiling from the warmth.

"I, I am fine, Headmaster Dumbledore," Snape said pushing away and struggling to get to his feet.

"I will just go down to my, my rooms," his weak movements could not support him and he nearly collapsedS back into the older wizard's arms.

Now Barnes waded into the drama, bending down and trying to feed some energy into the hurt body. But Snape would have none of it, continuing to fight, scrambling to get away.

"No, no, I can go to, to my room. Don't, please don't. I'll

be good. I'll be quiet, please," piteously he begged, trying to shield himself from the blows he knew would follow. He'd upset mother again. He'd upset her and father was here, too. Whimpering, he collapsed into a heap on the cold ground trying to cover his head.

"Let him go, Albus, just let him alone a moment," Barnes whispered quietly.

"He'll wear himself out, then I can put him to sleep."

The Headmaster had a difficult time containing the urge to comfort his frightened friend. He backed a few steps, but rocked in place fighting against the nearly ovFerwhelming need to do something. Lupin finally had to hold Dumbledore in a fierce hug while Snape's private horror played out. The wizard floundered for a moment, then curled up into a fetal position still begging to be let alone. Finally Barnes moved carefully, slowly, towards Snape.

"Professor? It's Jeffrey. I'm going to touch you, Professor

Snape. It's Jeffrey," the Healer repeated, fingertips brushed the rigid man's back sending ripples of twitching through him.

But no protests. No more begging. Carefully he wove a sleeping spell sending Snape into as deep a sleep as he could muster. They all watched as the huddled wizard's body relaxed, unclenched and fell into unconsciousness.

Barnes didn't bother picking him up onto his lap, just lie down beside him on the cold earth and pulled close as he began to scanf. After several minutes, long minutes, the Healer pulled back and sat up. He kept a hand on the wizard gently stroking his hair.

"Not too good, but not impossible," Barnes muttered. He looked up at Dumbledore's and Lupin's concerned faces. Snuffles sat apart without any discernible emotion on his doggy visage.

"Cruciatus, very liberally applied. His nerves are nearly as

bad as they were last summer, Albus," the healer said gravely referring to the horrendous torture they'd struggled to heal him from before.

"He's catatonic, not responding to us. He's dealing with

his parents again. I'm afraid he just wants to hide for the

time being. Not that I can blame him given what's happened!"

Now that he had his patient back Barnes was becoming angry. He had warned Dumbledore repeatedly about Snape being fragile and about Black's culpability in ñthe ongoing pranks. The Healer wondered if he should insist bringing Snape back to Hogsmeade away from Dumbledore and his cherished Gryffindors.

Another movement and suddenly Barnes saw his father arrive with Harry. James Barnes ignored all of them and went to Snape, pulling the cold wizard up onto his lap and immediately began to feed warming energy into the still form.

"I woke up and everyone was gone," Harry said with concern painting his voice.

"I sent a message to Dr. James and he came over."

Without consulting his son, partly because he knew Jeffrey was getting angry but mostly because the patient was so cold, the elder Barnes levitated Snape and began to walk back to the castle. Harry and Black immediately fell in line leaving the younger Healer glaring at Dumbledore. Lupin finally released the Headmaster, dropping his arms.

"Let's go, gentlemen. No need to start yelling out here,"ª Lupin said pushing first on the Headmaster then tugging on the Healer. Both allowed the DADA professor to herd them along the path to the castle wanting to be with Snape.

Back upstairs James ignored everyone and cared for Snape. He was stripped and washed then warm sleep clothing pulled on. Finally an IV was started delivering some minor nutrients and potion for the fried nerves. The older Healer had treated others for prolonged exposure to the cruciatus curse; he knew what would best soothe the poor wizard.

Sighing, James simply stroked Snape's face gently, soothing the harsh lines of pain away. There were very good reasons the curse was called 'unforgivable'; the next few days of care would be difficult for both patient and Healers. He knew the feeling of exhaustion was not all due to the fact he was missing sleep.

Leaving Snape in the warmed bed fast asleep, he opened the bedroom door and immediately wished he hadn't. His h∂eadstrong son had taken on Albus Dumbledore and the Headmaster was not doing well. It was late, much too late and everyone was much too tired for this ranting.

Black, for the animagus had resumed his human form, was back on the lounge holding his godson as they witnessed the debacle. Harry looked concerned, but Black looked almost disgusted by the display. Lupin was glowering over by the fireplace, angry and ashamed for his part about the scene. The elder Healer stood between two wizards.

"Enough! Jeffrey, enough. It is past two in the

morning and this is ridiculous," he quickly quelled his son's angry voice as well as Dumbledore's defensive one.

"You'll wake Severus! He needs his sleep. Harry also

needs to get to bed. Everyone is back safe under one roof,

let's count our blessings and get some rest!" he watched as Jeffrey let go of his anger. Once that had been deflated, Dumbledore began to relax his stance.

"Sorry, Albus," Jeffrey muttered, then moved to the Headmaster and held out his hand.

"I was just so worried," the young healer continued, shaking the Headmaster's trembling hand. Knowing he couldn't leave Dumbledore like this, he gently pulled the older wizard into a hug, another whispered word, then they broke apart.

"You may nail my hide to the wall tomorrow, Jeffrey, I

more than deserve it," Dumbledore said wearily.

"Count on it," Barnes said, still no smile, but at least the fury had dissipated.

Lupin roused himself.

"Come on, Sirius, Harry. Let's get back down to my rooms.

I think you can sleep with us tonight, Harry," Lupin allowed, moving his small group to the door and downstairs. Harry glanced at Lupin then his godfather.

"I'll just go up to my room," H√arry said distantly. He was having doubts about Black and wanted time to sort his feelings out. Although he very much doubted a few hours were going to help much.

"I'm going to sleep on the lounge," the elder doctor said,

"no way I'd make it back to Hogsmeade tonight!"

The Headmaster and the Healer quietly went into the bedroom. Waving on a light each readied for sleep. Snape was in his preferred position, curled tightly around a pillow.

"I want to feed him some energy, Albus, but I don't know

how he's going to react to anyone touching him, even in

his sleep," Barnes remarked.

"What if he curls around one of us?" the Headmaster asked.

"That would be fine. If he wakes up, thou√gh, don't

be surprised if he becomes agitated and tries to get

away. Might be best if we got out of his way," the Healer suggested.

Barnes looked at the sleeping man. The liquid dripping slowly down into his vein would keep him under until he or his father removed it. Hopefully. Snape had been able to break through other potions.

With that in mind the Healer moved to the large windows overlooking the school grounds. He picked up his wand and carefully enchanted the windows: now they'd neither open nor break. Turning he noted Dumbledore watching him.

"Don't want Severus slipping out," Barnes offered.

"If he slipped out that way, he'd be dead," the Headmaster commented unemotionally.


	30. A Promise to be Better 30

A Promise to be Better 30

Author: Raven Dancer

disclaimer: All characters belong to J.K. Rowling except for the Drs. Barnes, Beryl and Gibbons. I receive no monetary compensation for these works.

Summary: refusing

When James Barnes woke it was nearly 8 am. The weak sunlight pushed through the windows. He slowly sat up stretching his stiff back and decided to check on Snape, make sure the IV was still working.

Opening the bedroom door the elder Healer went directly to the bed. Under the covers still snoring softly were Dumbledore and his son.

Snape was missing.

Not one to panic, James glanced around the room. The line from the IV was hanging off the pole, the heplock attached. Any remaining potion had dripped onto the rug. Moving to the window Barnes tapped the glass. Of course Jeffrey had charmed it shut.

Then he saw Snape sitting hunched up in the corner, face resting on knees. His eyes were open, fearful and distant. Tears had slipped out and dampened his pajamas.

"Professor Snape? Severus?" James spoke quietly. He watched shoulders suddenly jerk in reaction, but the wizard did not move from his position. Moving with utmost care the Healer drew closer.

"Severus, it's so cold. Why don't you climb back into bed?" he asked gently. He noted Snape began to quiver.

"No, can't," came the barely whispered reply. Barnes very slowly crouched down near the Potions Master, close, but not too close.

"Yes, you can Severus. You're safe here," he said.

"They'll be mad. I don't want them to be mad at me," Snape said disheartened.

"Who will be mad?" Barnes queried, wondering if the wizard was current or locked in some old memory.

"Mother and Father. I was bad. I don't want to wake them," ok, old memory. Barnes wondered where Snape thought he was, somewhere in his old home probably.

"Your parents aren't here, Severus. You're at Hogwarts," Barnes tried the direct approach and was rewarded with a glance, eyes more focused. Then they diffused once more.

"They're going to hurt me when they wake up," the small voice continued. Barnes hoped neither his son nor the Headmaster woke anytime soon.

"Severus, I'll help you. No one is going to hurt you," he moved a little closer, hoping to get a chance to pulse the wizard. Snape scooted tight against the wall.

"No one will hurt you, Severus. Let's go into the other room. Are you hungry? Do you want to go to the bathroom?" Barnes worked on moving Snape's attention to something other than the place he was trapped in.

At the mention of food the wizard's stomach grumbled. He hadn't eaten since the day before. He was hungry. He needed to go to the bathroom. Looking at the man in front of him for a moment he wondered exactly where he was.

"Dr. James?" Snape sounded lost. Barnes tamped down his desire to pull the wizard into a hug and instead allowed him time to get used to him.

"Yes, Severus, I'm Dr. James. Would you like to come with me and eat a little? We can talk, too," the elder Barnes said in as calm a voice as he could manage. With a little nod Snape reached out one hand, the Healer took it carefully, energy pulsed carefully into the shattered nerves of the Potions Master's body.

The desired effect was nearly immediate, a relaxed sigh, the tense body released enough to stand up. James did not let go, his patient was as unsteady as a newborn colt and just as skittery. Gently tugging, Snape was led first into the bathroom. The logistics were a bit difficult as the wizard did not want to let go of his only line to reality, but soon hands were washed and dried.

Next to the table. With trepidation James rang for one of the house elves. Dobby popped up but upon seeing the Potions Master assumed a very deferential stance, crouching quietly in front of both men.

"Professor Snape is awake. Professor Snape wants to eats?" Dobby smile softly as he spoke. The normal shrill voice toned down. The professor nodded.

"Dobby, bring a light breakfast, please. And some warm milk," he looked at Snape, "would you like some warm milk, Severus?"

Again, the silent nod. Dobby left even more quietly than he arrived. They sat without speaking, the doctor letting the Potions Master relax.

Oatmeal came up with two bowls and a pitcher of warm milk. Giving Snape one last pulse, James let go of his hand and spooned out the hot cereal. Sugar and cream was added. He encouraged his companion to eat.

Once the cereal was finished the Healer called his satchel to him and rummaged around for two different potions.

"Severus, do you remember what happened?" he asked gently. Snape looked at him mildly confused.

"You were tortured by Voldemort, Severus. Your nerves are somewhat fried," Barnes started, then stopped when the wizard shook his head negatively.

"Not Voldemort. Lucius," Snape corrected with a shiver of disgust.

"You were tortured by Lucius. Nearly as bad as last summer. You need to sleep and heal for the next few days. Then Jeffrey needs to work with you and Albus," the ﬁdoctor explained carefully.

"No," Snape said very quietly.

"'No' to what?" Barnes asked in the same tone as before.

"Doctor Barnes and the Headmaster don't need to work with me," Snape managed, beginning to get agitated again.

"Jeffrey and Albus want to talk with you," Barnes tried again. He watched Snape very carefully, noting the wizard quickly closing into himself. He ceased talking and simply shook his head no.

"Ok, Severus. Then let's just rest, ok?" Slight nod. Barnes poured out some warm milk. He picked up the vials and poured each into the mug.

"Ok, Severus, first some potion to heal your nerves. Then a dreamless sleeping draught," he nudged the mug towards Snape. A mix of emotions played across his face.

"Severus?" Barnes held out his hand, palm up. Slowly Snape took the offered hand, eyes full of fear. A little warmth, some soothing energy and the wizard began to calm down again.

"Drink, Severus," he encouraged and waited while Snape pi›cked up the mug and slowly drank. Once finished the Healer tugged the Potions Master to the lounge, helping him lie down and wrapped warmly under the covers. He did not even attempt to rest with the shattered wizard, but merely pulled another chair close. Snape reached out silently and the older doctor took his hand.

"Sleep, Severus, sleep and be well. I will be here," Barnes murmured, watching the professor slip into sleep. The first dose of potions had lasted between five and six hours. Rather amazing when the Healer considered it usually kept patients out for nearly 10 hours.

The emotional upset certainly contributed to Snape's problems. He knew the tension between Jeffrey and Dumbledore only exacerbated them. It was going to take a little longer to get Snape back to them healthy and emotionally whole than last summer! He settled down and rested his eyes.

The next thing he knew there were loud voices in the other room and he opened sleepy eyes to Jeffrey tﬂhen Dumbledore spilling out of the bedroom. Well, he couldn't very well have left a note, could he?

His patient was still asleep, still clinging to his hand. James waited until the Headmaster saw them and smiled, holding his free finger to his lips to quiet them down. Jeffrey was immediately next to the lounge, scanning and reading his patient. The Headmaster was next, gently stroking the tangled hair.

"What happened?" Dumbledore asked quietly.

the elder Healer explained what he'd found and cautioned them both about approaching the wizard. He reported his surprise that the Potions Master had broken through the heavy-duty potions they'd used. He noted that it was three hours into this particular dose.

"Should you restart the IV?" the Headmaster asked, looking at the plaster on Snape's arm.

"He ate for me, took his potions with little resistance; I'd say no because he might pull them out again," James offered his opinion.

"I like the idea of being able to control his sleep," the younger Healer mused.

"Control? He broke out of it earlier," Dumbledore pointed out.

"I can up the dosage," countered Barnes, a little too sharp.

"You said last night you had him near the limit," the Headmaster snapped back.

In his sleep Snape twitched, clenched the hand tighter. James glanced at the two wizards squaring off yet again, although this time it looked as if Dumbledore was going to be a more active participant. He sighed.

"Gentlemen, if you are going to insist taking up where you left off this morning would you kindly leave?" Barnes said as calmly as he could, his eyes glaring at them. "Even in sleep Severus is reacting to your voices. He has to sleep, he has to heal. I will stay the day and you both will leave. Go and lock yourself in another tower and get this out of you system before you return. If you can't," Barnes' eyes were dark. "If you can't please set up a schedule so you aren't within two closed doors of Severus together." He would not negotiate; quietly and firmly he sent them out of Dumbledore's offices.

Snape jerked awake, every nerve seemed to be on fire. He struggled, trying to get away from the vision of Malfoy laughing over him. He would have fallen onto the floor if not for the tangle of covers.

"Severus? Ssshh, it ok. You're safe here child," Dumbledore's calm voice settled over him like a comforting blanket. The struggling stopped for a moment, eyes slitting open trying to find the Headmaster.

*I shouldn't be here. I shouldn't* Snape remonstrated himself as he got a look into Dumbledore's face.

"Child, you are fine," the Headmaster continued, stretching out a hand to touch his friend.

*oh, please, please,* Snape thought, longing for the comfort. But when the hand nearly touched him he struggled backwards and did end up on the floor. *NO!* his body screamed out.

"I'm fine Headmaster Dumbledore. I'm f-fine," Snape continued to back up until he hit the couch, pulling himself into a tight ball.

"Albus, remember? I'm Albus," the Headmaster's heart ached. Why didn't Snape want him to hold him? He'd never hurt Snape, never struck him, yet he was reeling back as if he'd been beaten.

*nonononono*, Snape just shook his head, body starting to tremble.

"Albus, just back slowly away," Jeffrey Barnes said as quietly as he could. Both men had come to an agreement, for the time being. Getting the Potions Master back and healed was more important than their disagreements. The Healer carefully crouched down near Snape.

"Severus? You'll be fine. Just breathe deeply. In a few minutes you can use the loo and have something to eat," Barnes said calmly.

"Dr. James said you'd eat a little for us, and drink your milk." Snape tried desperately to stop the shaking.

"I need to go to my rooms, Dr. Barnes. I don't want to be any trouble. Can I go to my rooms, please?" he begged shamelessly. *Just let me go* he thought.

"No, Severus," Dumbledore sat on the edge of the lounge staying as calm as he could. "You need some healing done and we can protect you best right here. No one will harm you, child." They watched the Potions Master curl up tighter, trying to disappear. Eyes became vacant as he returned to another place, another time.

"I tried, mommy, I really tried. I won't be bad again. Don't hurt me, mommy," Snape moaned as he rocked.

"Professor Snape? You are at Hogwarts' school, Professor," the young Healer tried. "You're with Albus and Jeffrey. Your parents aren't here, Professor Snape."

"tried, really, tried," as tears fell. They watched as the Potions Master's body flinched at remembered impacts.

"What can we do?" Dumbledore looked at Barnes.

"If we can't get him to recognize us, we'll have to sedate him. I'll have to bind him before I can give him any injections," Barnes replied.

"Let's try again," the Headmaster whispered. He turned his attention more fully on his friend.

"Severus?" Dumbledore said sharply and was rewarded with dull eyes looking at him. "Professor? I need you to help me. Can you?"

Snape slowly focused on his mentor and a glimmer of recognition passed through his eyes.

"Headmaster? What can I do for you?" an almost hopeful tone in the thin voice.

"I need to to eat with me, Severus. Can you get up and come to the table?" Dumbledore quelled his desire to grab his friend in a hug. He was rewarded with a little nod.

"I need to use the washroom, Headmaster," Snape pushed up slowly and staggered to the loo, Barnes in tow but not touching. The door was left open as he attended to his business. Once washed he managed to make it to the table.

Snape ate the food in front of him without comment. A glass of warm milk followed and he drained it slowly.

"Dr. James gave me milk," he said softly.

"Yes, Dr. James did give you milk. This is just like his milk, Severus. It will help you sleep and heal. You were very badly hurt," the young Healer explained. Snape's eyes blinked as he became sleepy.

"Voldemort is going to get aurors and kill them," Snape suddenly remembered. "Going to make them talk."

"Who, Severus?" Dumbledore encouraged, although when he got close Snape drew back.

"R-rennet, Sylvan and Matthias. Alone. Need to be protected," Snape stammered out.

"Thank you, Severus. I will send a message and take care of them," the Headmaster said. Now he managed to get a hand on Snape's shoulder and gently patted him. For a moment the Potions Master leaned into the touch. Then the moment passed and he withdrew. Barnes laid a soft hand on Snape's back and pulsed in warming energy, watching his patient's eyes slowly lose the fight against sleep.

"Rest, Severus, you're safe with us," the Healer murmured.

"Sleep, Child," Dumbledore whispered.

Eyelids sliding closed, Snape slept.


	31. A Promise to be Better 31

A Promise to be Better 31

Author: Raven Dancer

disclaimer: All characters belong to J.K. Rowling except for the Drs. Barnes, Beryl and Gibbons. I receive no monetary compensation for these works.

Summary: rough ground

At two thirty in the morning the young Healer roused himself enough to check on the sleeping wizard next to him. The nerves were slowly starting to heal, but there was still a lot of damage to work on. This time they'd kept Snape asleep nearly 9 hours so Barnes rose silently, got the syringe he'd prepared and smoothly injected the somnolent man. Another 8 or 10 hours would be good. He crawled back into bed and wrapped himself around the completely limp body.

When Snape finally woke it was nearing noon. He was confused, not knowing precisely where he: was. It was warm and soft and he really, really had to go! Limbs were sluggish and heavy and he floundered in the covers trying to get up.

"Severus? Are you all right?" Jeffrey Barnes sat on the bed and managed to place a hand on the struggling shoulder.

"I, I need to go to the loo," Snape managed, trying to tamp down an unreasonable fear that was rising. The Healer could sense the urgency and decided he really needed to go now.

"I'll get you there, Severus, hold tight," the younger man levitated his charge and moved to the washroom. The multiple doses of sleep potions and relaxants made Snape too weak to attend to himself properly; Barnes helped quietly without fuss.

The surge of memories and resultant emotions were swift and devastating. Tears started as the Potions Master tried to swallow his reactions. Hands were washed and loo flushed. Snape was lost in his unhappy recollections.

"Severus? Are you ok?" Barnes tried to bring him back to the present, drying their hands.

"I'm sorry," Snape managed, trying to shake off tears.

"Severus, you've done absolutely nothing wrong!" the Healer tried to assure him. Finally he opened his arms and watched the wizard battle his fears before finally burying his face in Barnes' shoulder.

Carefully they slid down the wall and sat on the tile. Snape was gently cuddled on the Healer's lap in an attempt to keep him warmer. Barnes rocked him as he made soothing noises.

"What's wrong, Severus? You can tell me," the Healer encouraged. Snape stayed hidden, crying, in the wizard's robes. His voice was muffled, but understandable.

"My mother would put me in the closet or make me sit on the chair for punishment. I couldn't get up. Even if I had to," the Potions Master blurted out all at once. "I was never good enough for her. I'm not good enough for anyone. I'm worthless," long shuddering breaths.

Warmth flooded in, soothing frayed nerves, taking the sharp edges off emotions and memories.

"You are good enough, you are wonderful. No child, especially you, deserved the punishments you received from your mother. You are wonderful, Severus. Albus loves you, I love you. We want you. It's going to be ok, Severus," Barnes whispered softly to the distraught man, keeping the slight rocking motion going. He continued to speak quietly, comforting Snape as he had wished to the day before. At least the Potions Master was able to accept the closeness. A movement at the door caught his eye and he saw Dumbledore's concerned face.

"Severus? Do you want to go see Albus? He wants to talk with you," Barnes said calmly. The reaction was immediate as emotional walls were erected and Snape stiffened significantly. The Healer infused the rigid body with warmth and energy to no avail.

"No," Snape managed. "May I go to my rooms?"

"You need to stay here, Severus. We need to care for you here," Barnes explained carefully. Snape was slipping away from him.

"Why? I only disappoint the Headmaster. I can't spy for him, I can't be his friend. I am nothing," Snape slipped further into melancholy as he started to move away from Barnes. The Healer sighed and firmed his grip, pouring a surge of energy into Snape.

The Potions Master arched into the feed with a moan, then resettled on Barnes' lap. All his muscles tingled as nerves settled. The endorphin rush left him malleable and drowsy.

"Now, Severus, what about some breakfast?" Barnes. With a soft, shy smile Snape nodded.

Dumbledore fled. Left the doorway of the bathroom then left the tower entirely running down the stairs and out of the castle entirely not stopping until he realized it was cold and he hadn't put on his heavy cloak. He continued down towards the lake finally selecting a stone bench. This he warmed judiciously with a charm before sitting down.

*You've really messed up royal, Dumbledore* he chastised himself. *He doesn't even want to see you.* Glumly the Headmaster stared out over the lake, water around the edges starting to freeze. It was going to snow, at least it was cold enough and there were some clouds starting to dance across the sky. Muggles did better predicting the weather, though.

The Headmaster did not have long to himself. He soon heard the heavy footsteps of another person coming up the path. Probably Hagrid, given the impact noise. He glanced over his shoulder and saw that it was indeed the Groundskeeper. When the large man drew next to the bench a very warm cloak suddenly surrounded his cold upper body.

"Perfessor," Hagrid began by way of greetings. "Might cold for ya to be out without a proper cloak." He sat down on the bench tucking a warm lap robe over his and the Headmaster's legs. The warm felt delicious and the older man shuddered in appreciation.

"Yes, a bit cold at that, Hagrid," Dumbledore allowed.

"One would think ya'd be up in your rooms, sir, or about to eat lunch in the great hall," the man observed impassively. He knew that the Headmaster would not easily share his concerns. It was best to wander around in unimportant conversation until the reasons came out. If they came out. He waited patiently.

Dumbledore continued to watch the lake, water flat and reflecting the deep blue sky. Thin clouds chasing each other.

"So, how is Professor Snape doing, then?" Hagrid broached the topic carefull[y. The quick flinch let him know this was probably the problem.

"Firenze mentioned he was bad off. Was asking after 'im this morning," Hagrid continued casually.

"You spoke with Firenze?" Dumbledore asked weakly, not ready to discuss the topic of Snape.

"Oh, yes, we been speakin' most days since the tokens came. Seem to meet along the forest walks. Worries about the tokens affectin' him or one of the other creatures in the forest. Anyway," Hagrid flipped back to the original line of inquiry.

"Since he brought the Professor back he kinda feels he has the right ta know how he is. So, what should I be telling him?"

Dumbledore sat silently contemplating the weave of the lap robe. Hagrid found the lake very intriguing and scanned the edges for movement. A flight of starlings flitted by followed by a larger bird of prey.

"H:e was hurt very badly, Hagrid," the Headmaster finally spoke.

*Now for the rest of it* the big man thought.

"Hagrid, he was tortured. Multiple applications of the cruciatus curse," Dumbledore managed to get out without shaking.

"I was rememberin' that he wasn't suppose ta return to he-who-must-not-be-named," Hagrid muttered. It was a sure bet he himself would never return if he'd been Snape! It was then he noticed the Headmaster's extreme discomfort and he put a big comforting hand on the older wizard's shoulder.

"What's wrong, Headmaster?" he asked as gently as he could (which was surprisingly comforting to Dumbledore).

"He went back because of me. I didn't listen to him, I didn't help him when he came to me, Hagrid!" the words tumbled out as did a few stray tears. He quickly explained the esccalating problems with Black.

"Now he's afraid of me, tries to bolt even if Jeffrey mentions my name," Dumbledore confessed.

Hagrid knew he was out of his depth, but he also knew the confession from the Headmaster could not be ignored and he quietly thought about a response.

"So he's unsure of his place with you?" Hagrid finally asked.

"Oh, he's sure I don't love him, that I don't want him around," Dumbledore said bitterly. *Oh bother!* Hagrid thought, *well out of my ken!*

"You have to just be patient, then, sir. Just be careful 'bout him, until he's sure of you again," Hagrid offered lamely. He thought a little more. "If he's hurt bad, like you said, he's probably like sum of the strays I take in. Has to get past the worst of the pain to accept ya back. Give 'im a warm place and gentle hands. He'll forgive you, sir," Hagrid said firm{ly, sounding more assured than he really felt.

Dumbledore smiled to himself. He appreciated Hagrid trying to help him. The Groundskeeper was probably right, Snape would accept him again at some point. But would he forgive the Headmaster for choosing Black over him? He sighed remembering how he'd sided with Black and sent Snape away. Not a brilliant move under any circumstance. It had ripped his relationship with the Potions Master and had done nothing to improve the animagus's attitude or opinions.

In fact, Black had been more disdainful of Snape since his return. It was causing a growing rift between Black and his godson Harry and friend Lupin. Azkaban had worsened the animagus's hatred of Snape.

"He will, I'm sure of that now. I know Severus loves me very much," Dumbledore smiled a little, "he's like a son I never had, Hagrid. My only child in many respects."

"What then?" the man pursued, sensing there was another layer he was missing.

"Snuffles. He needs some help, I'm afraid," Dumbledore admitted. "I can't do that because I need to help Severus. That will be my primary focus." Hagrid mulled that over. He'd noticed Black was more surly today. Sharp temper. Certainly something was amiss with the animagus and the groundskeeper knew he couldn't help him.

They sat quietly a few more minutes, each wrapped in his own thoughts. A slight breeze picked up and ruffled the dead plants along the shore. Hagrid stirred first.

"Need ta eat, Headmaster. Then ta afternoon classes," Hagrid grunted, starting to stand up. Dumbledore looked up.

"I think I will join you, Hagrid. Lunch would be most welcome," the Headmaster stood, handing the warm throws back to the Groundskeeper. Together they walked back to the castle


	32. A Promise to be Better 32

A Promise to be Better 32

Author: Raven Dancer

disclaimer: All characters belong to J.K. Rowling except for the Drs. Barnes, Beryl and Gibbons. I receive no monetary compensation for these works.

Summary: patching foundations

Jeffrey Barnes managed to keep his patient's attention for the better part of an hour. Snape ate a substantial lunch lulled by the Healer's energy. He then allowed the Healer to curl up around him in the lounge, using short energy pulses to heal nerve endings. But as exhaustion set in the Potions Master grew agitated and finally tried to move away, stiffening under the continued touch. Before his patient fell off the lounge, the Healer carefully got up and tucked the blankets around the trembling body.

"Ok, Severus, I want to give you some more healing potions then you can sleep safe right here," Barnes soothed, wanding what he needed to him. He mixed the potions and managed to get Snape to swallow the entire dose, followed by some cold milk flavored with a little vanilla, nutmeg and scant sugar. No longer touchable, Barnes watched as sleep stole over the defeated man.

Once asleep, of course, the Healer returned to gently pulsing the nerve endings to help soothe Snape's sleep.

"He needs to be held, Jeffrey," James Barnes remarked as he entered the room. "Held close and pulsed. Only way to get around that revulsion to touch he's developed." The older healer had used the technique successfully in the past on many patients. It didn't always work, but he had the feeling that Snape would benefit waking up warm and safe nestled against someone he trusted before his fallout with the Headmaster. Even if he jumped away the first few times it would slowly diminish.

"He let me right after we ate," Jeffrey commented, "but he tried to slip away from me as he became more tired."

"Yes. That's to be expected," James carefully levitated the limp body before sliding onto the lounge and re-arranging him carefully. He gently soothed the twitches away with sure strokes and gentle words.

"Albus would be best; his smell is imprinted up here," James gently touched Snape's head. Jeffrey shook his head.

"No, no way! He nearly bolted from the room when I suggested seeing Albus before lunch," the younger Healer sat back and folded his arms. His father gazed at him with an appraising look.

"You two have not settled the dispute between you," it was a statement, not a question. Jeffrey looked away.

"Jeffy, we both know Albus made a mistake," began James.

"A serious of progressively worse mistakes!" Jeffrey muttered.

"From where I sit the wizard is as human as you are," his father's voice was a stern warning. The door chose to open at that moment and the Headmaster came into the room. He noted both healers and hurried over to the couch.

"Did he eat?" Dumbledore asked anxiously.

"Yes. Go wash up, Albus, I need your help and it will take a few hours," James responded, sending the Headmaster into the loo. When he returned the older Healer levitated the Potions Master and had Dumbledore switch places, although there was some initial protest.

"James, he doesn't want me near him! How will this help? He's just going to wake up agitated," the Headmaster pointed out looking very sad. The Healer just continued to arrange the patient carefully over Dumbledore, snugging his head against the older wizard's chest.

"He knows your smell, your heartbeat. See? He's more relaxed already," the older Healer remarked. "When he wakes just speak softly and then move away so he knows you've been with him but are respecting his rights. It will help. His subconscious will know and his conscious will follow."

Sighing, Dumbledore finally was able to comfort his friend, even though he was asleep. Even Jeffrey's stone heart was moved as a few tears leaked out of the Headmaster's eyes. James stood up and began to collect his things.

"Severus should sleep another 6 to 8 hours, Albus. Then he'll need to eat and use the washroom. I'll come back tonight after dinner and help settle him into bed," the older healer held out his son's cloak and satchel. Jeffrey looked up at him quizzically.

"Your patient will be just fine, Jeff. You need to come back to the clinic with me and help me with the inventory," his father's tone was firm and non-negotiable.

"But, but he doesn't want me!" Dumbledore began to complain. James Barnes fixed his stare on the older wizard.

"Yes, he thinks you don't love him, you don't want him. I know. But you do love him and you do want him. He needs to see that. He may be a little agitated, but just you taking care of him, alone, will make a difference. I'll be back to help, and if he gets too out of control, bind him, put him to sleep and call me," James pushed Jeffrey ahead of him.

Nervous, and more than a little guilty, Dumbledore sat nearly an hour simply soothing Snape. Just being able to curl up and take care of him helped calm the Headmaster. Dobby came and fetched his owls, then tea. Fully settled Dumbledore began to read his mail.

The afternoon passed very peaceably. Oh, a couple professors stopped by, most notably McGonagall who sat for a bit and talked to the sleeping Snape. She even went as far as brushing back and carefully braiding his hair, lecturing the Headmaster on keeping the snarls out.

The Potions Master did surface once, when the comb snagged enough to pull. He opened his eyes and looked a moment, then sighed deeply and snugged against Dumbledore more fully before falling back into sleep. The witch clucked in concern, but continued her quest. She left them still curled up in the lounge to teach her last class of the day.

Finally, a little after seven, Snape woke. It was a long time surfacing, Dumbledore felt the fingers rubbing over his robe, the sound of him scpenting the air. Relaxed until awake enough to know he was with the Headmaster.

"Hello, Severus," Dumbledore said as warmly as he could. "Sleep well? I'll help you get up and to the loo, hmmm?"

Now the reactions started, but the Headmaster had levitated Snape and stood up walking the Potions Master into the washroom. A bit shaky, but with the levitation charm still helping he managed to finish his business and wash up. Very real panic was setting in and whenever Dumbledore came too close Snape would flinch. Somehow he managed to get the skittish professor back to the lounge.

"Headmaster," Snape managed to eke out. "I can go to my rooms now."

Dumbledore smiled gently. "No, Severus, you are going to stay right here. Dr. James will be back soon and in any event, I want to have you near me so I know you're ok. I'll get us something to eat."

The older wizard moved away, giving Snape the space he needed to calm himself. He ordered up dinner and tidied up the table. Glancing at his friend, he pulled out a chair as an invitation and watched how Snape moved with great reluctance to the table.

*At least he didn't bolt!* Dumbledore consoled himself as he slowly offered different dishes to Snape to chose from. Tea was poured and in relatively calm silence they ate.

When dessert came up and tea freshened, the Headmaster spoke about his day. He detailed the cold day and the freezing lake idly wondering how far down it actually froze. He spoke of Hagrid and Fang wandering about and of McGonagall's visit. Simple, unpressing and he noted that Snape listened and finally stopped shivering.

Dr. James came in time for a slice of warm peach pie and tea. He sat next to Snape, smiling warmly without touching the flighty wizard. Hagrid was right in a way; the Potions Master was like a hurt wild animal afraid of every shadow and sound.

The doctor shared some of his day, about the sheep that had broken out of their fields and decided the town center was a fine place to be. Sheep had been everywhere, even entering a few open doors in hopes of finding a barn. Rosemerta was amused, at least, by the wooly clientele.

The calm, soothing voices of both James and Dumbledore succeeded in keeping Snape nearly relaxed. The doctor was able to scan him and warm him enough to keep the nerves healing. It was a slow process but at least it felt good keeping Snape willing to receive treatment.

"May I go lie down?" Snape whispered.

"Certainly, Severus. Leave the door open," Barnes smiled easily, although he didn't want the professor out of his sight for long. Snape padded off to the bedroom. Dumbledore stirred.

"Well, he didn't bolt," the older wizard commented.

"No, all in all he's doing much better around you. I thought if Jeffrey were to leave you alone he'd feel better," James commented, filling his tea mug.

"But, he's still not sure of me at all," Dumbledore sighed.

"You hurt him, Albus. It will take time to rebuild the trust. It will come. He still loves you," Barnes observed.

"I was a fool trusting Black," the Headmaster spat out, still angry with himself.

"Albus, one of your greatest strengths is your biggest weakness: your trust. I know you wanted to believe Black. In your defense, it was all just hearsay and feelings about the pranks. If Black was denying his part, and there was no real proof, then what could you do? You couldn't ship Black off,V really. I'm just sorry it came down to Severus going back to Voldemort," Barnes sipped his tea.

"As am I," murmured Dumbledore. They sat quietly for a time, finishing up dessert and tea. Dobby returned to clean up and the two wizards moved to the couch and stuffed chairs.

"He's awfully quiet," mused James.

"Severus has always been quiet," replied Dumbledore. "I'll go take a look." The Headmaster walked into the bedroom.

It was dark in the room, but the older wizard could hear Snape whimpering near the bed.

"Severus?" Dumbledore queried, wondering what the sharp coppery smell was.

"Hurts, Albus. It hurts," came the low voice tight with pain. Concerned, the Headmaster waved on the lights and was greeted with a bloody scene.

"Oh gods, JAMES!" Dumbledore yelled then moved towards Snape, trying not to frighten him moreK.

The water glass, why the hell had they left the water glass in the room?

"Hurts, Albus. Tried to make it stop, but it hurrttsss," Snape held out a torn, bloody arm. Left arm. Voldemort must have summoned him and the pain was too much, too many memories of recent torture. He'd tried to cut the dark mark off.

"Ssshh, Severus, let me help you. I can make it go away," Dumbledore knelt down next to the shaking wizard. He'd managed to cut something major because the blood was pooling slightly on his robes. Covering the gash he breathed the incantation and stopped the summoning. The blood was another matter.

Dr. James was in the room in a trice, also kneeling down by the terrified wizard. He immediately stopped the bleeding and tried to pull the arm out for inspection.

"No. Dirty. Filthy," Snape wrenched his arm back trying to hide it. He was rocking again.

"Severus? Severus?" Dumbledore tried, calling in a singsong voice. Snape looked up, eyes shining in fear.

"Albus?" the voice quavered.

"Here, child, let me hold you," he opened his arms and very slowly Snape slipped into the comforting embrace, Dumbledore sat with his back to the bed holding the rapidly weakening wizard.

"Good child," he soothed. "Now let Dr. James see your arm."

"I made a big mess," Snape keened, "mommy will be mad."

"No, mommy isn't here, Severus. You're with me, child. I love you and you won't make me mad. Dr. James and I will clean up the mess. Let Dr. James see your arm," Dumbledore continued to rock a little, cuddling the frightened man. Finally Snape held out his arm, letting Barnes seal the ripped flesh together, connecting the veins torn by the broken glass. He'd done a fair job trying to cut away the death mark.

"He's going to need a transfusion," James said grimly as he finished healing the initial damage. "I'll send a message to Jeffrey to bring a couple pints in from the clinic and then get some towels to clean up."

As Barnes moved away, Dumbledore continued to soothe Snape. The distraught man plucked at his bloody robes.

"Dirty," Snape whispered.

"Yes, it's dirty child. Why don't we get you cleaned up? Dr. James will bring water and towels. Let's take off your robes," the Headmaster slowly stripped off all the bloody clothes. He noted Dobby and Beryl had come silently into the room, rather an odd scene actually, and take away the soiled things. They blotted and magicked away the stains on the carpet.

Barnes returned with a large container of warm water and several towels. He gently cleaned away the blood as he whispered soothingly to Snape.

"Tired," soft voice wafted up.

"Yes, Severus, I know you're tired. I need to put an IV into your arm. Promise me you won't pull it out," Barnes asked, waiting for the quiet promise. First dry, warm shirt and leggings were pulled on, socks pulled over cold feet. Then a needle searched for a vein, which was somewhat difficult, but the doctor finally managed to get the heplock in place and taped down. Saline was hung to get the blood pressure back up.

"Good child," Dumbledore crooned softly, letting Snape burrow deeper into his robes. Several warmed blankets appeared, carried in by Dobby. Barnes quickly levitated the limp body, wrapping him snugly before returning him to the Headmaster.

"Sorry," Snape's weak voice tore at them.

"Oh, child, it's going to be all right," sniffed Dumbledore. "You've been very good; you only wanted to get rid of the pain."

"You can sleep, Severus, if you want. We'll be here, Albus and Dr. James. You can sleep and we'll take very good care of you," the doctor said with a rough voice. Even he had trouble keeping his emotions in check.

Snuggled close to Dumbledore, Snape tightly gripped the Headmaster's robes. The Doctor began sending a warm energy flow through him and Snape finally closed his eyes and slept.


	33. A Promise to be Better 33

A Promise to be Better 33

Author: Raven Dancer

disclaimer: All characters belong to J.K. Rowling except for the Drs. Barnes, Beryl and Gibbons. I receive no monetary compensation for these works.

Summary: recovering

Snape slept deeply without potions or charms through the night. He was warmly wrapped and completely surrounded by Jeffrey and Dumbledore. James had moved the lounge into the bedroom. Even Dobby curled up on the end of the bed resting quietly.

With a slight start, Snape woke. He was confused, staring at the ceiling. Headmaster's room. Headmaster's snore. Hmmmm. Healer's breathing, too. He squirmed slightly, he was rather snugly wrapped in a flannel blanket except for his right arm which was still attached to a bottle partial%ly filled with clear liquid.

He'd promised Dr. James he wouldn't pull the line out again. He vaguely recalled pulling a different line out, but when? His mind was soo fuzzy. Why was he here? And who was that on the foot of the bed?

Nudging the bump caused it to move and then Dobby's smiling face appeared over Barnes' body.

"Professor Snape is awake! Professor Snape feels better?" Dobby whispered. The Potions Master didn't think that house elves could whisper; they seemed to speak quite loudly all the time.

"Professor Snape wants something? Dobby gets something

for Professor Snape?" the creature inquired tilting it's head.

"No, Dobby, I don't want anything. I'd just like to know why

I'm all wrapped up," Snape said quietly.

"oooh," intoned Dobby, "Professor Snape hurt himselCf

last night. Dr. Barnes and Dr. Barnes put medicine in

the bottle and put it in Professor Snape. Some medicine

was dark, some was cloudy. This medicine is clear. Dobby

can see right through it."

Dark? What would be dark? He idly reviewed his memory of IV potions and couldn't think of anything. Well, blood derivatives, blood plasma. BLOOD? Memory flooded into Snape and he remembered vaguely cutting himself, wanting to get rid of the pain. He tried to get his left arm out of the blankets, but could not.

"Severus? Are you waking up?" Dumbledore pushed up on his elbow and looked down at the concerned Potions Master.

"What's wrong, child?" he asked slightly alarmed.

"You'll never let me have a glass again, will you?" Snape finally said, as the gears shifted into place. Dumbledore chuckled warmly.

"`Oh, of course we will. We may hold them for you for a

little while, but only until you're stronger. How do you

feel?" the Headmaster pursued. He watched the younger man try to formulate an answer. When none was forthcoming he simply stroked his hair back.

"It's all right, Severus. You've had a very rough couple of

weeks and I did nothing to help you through them.

I'm very sorry I hurt you," Dumbledore murmured.

Snape was confused. Why was the Headmaster sorry? He had made the choice to cut his arm. He had made the choice to go to Voldemort. He had been the one who couldn't handle stupid, harmless pranks. Tears started to form around his eyes and he tried to turn away.

"I'm sorry, Headmaster. I haven't been making any good

decisions of late," he managed to get out without much trembling.

"Severus, look at me. Child?" Du~mbledore coaxed the face back to him, eyes haunted and wet.

"Severus, you did what you had to do. I made the bad

decisions. I trusted Black over your objections. I was so

blind by my desire to have things back, things that never

existed except in my faulty memory, that I hurt you. I hurt

you so much and I'm so sorry," now tears fell as the Headmaster started to cry. The raw emotion alarmed Snape and he pushed back into Barnes which pushed Dobby right off the bed.

Both the Healers woke with a start. Their patient was crying. The Headmaster was crying. Dobby jumped atop Jeffrey wringing his hands in despair.

"Oh, great," grumbled Jeffrey as he carefully untangled the IV line effectively dislodging the upset elf.

"They started the catharsis without me." His father chuckled and patted him on the back.

"When it's time, it's time," he said sympatheticallyö. Leaving for a moment, James returned with warm, damp cloths. He handed one to his son and then moved behind Dumbledore, sending in some soothing energy, helping to calm the wizard down. The towel was proffered and the Headmaster allowed the older Healer to comfort him.

Jeffrey worked with Snape, cleaning his face and carefully loosening the blanket that had him trapped. The Potions Master allowed the younger man to pull him up close.

"I'm dizzy," he complained as his breath shuddered in and out.

"That's to be expected; you've had some blood loss and

antibiotics put in you," Barnes explained.

"Dobby dizzy, too," complained the elf, unused to the strong emotions. Snape reached out a very shaky hand to touch the creature and soon had a lapful of House Elf clinging to him. Jeffrey tried unsuccessfully to remove him but gave up when the Potions Master held the elf tighter. Keeping his arm wrapp¥ed around Dobby's shoulders he leaned heavily against the Healer.

"So, when is Hagrid and Minerva going to join this little

exercise in communal crying?" Snape asked acerbically. The elder Barnes and Dumbledore laughed first, then Jeffrey joined in when he realized Snape was actually sporting a very small smile.

"Dobby can get Mr. Hagrid and Professor McGonagall for

Professor Snape!" Dobby's head shot up with a huge smile.

"No, no Dobby, that's not necessary. But Professor Snape

is hungry. Would Dobby and Beryl please bring up the

Headmaster's Breakfast Tea?" Snape asked with as serious a face as he could muster. The elf, delighted, flapped his ears mightily and his head bobbed up and down. With a sharp crack Dobby left.

"I am not hungry," Snape confessed, leaning against Jeffrey trembling. He wondered if he'd upset Dumbledore with that request. The ill wizard wanted to make Dobby happy for some reason that escaped him. In doing so he figured he had upset the Headmaster once again.

"You should be hungry, Severus," replied the young healer.

"I'm dizzy," he replied, shivering. Jeffrey carefully resettled himself around the Potions Master.

"Let me have a look and I'll warm you," he said. Mostly blood loss. Two pints had just been enough. Emotional distress was high. Barnes pulsed energy through his patient warming him. With a small whimper Snape curled into the healer's body.

"warm," he whispered. There was a shift within Snape and Barnes could feel the emotions change. There was fear building once again. He wondered if the Potions Master had slipped into another bad memory.

"Jeffy, let's get him to the washroom, he's had a lot of

fluids put into him and I'm sure that's going to trigger some

negative reactions," the elder Healer suggested. The IV line was detached, although the heplock was left for the moment.

Soon Snape was washed and dry and» wrapped in blankets at the table.

"Tired," he muttered, looking at all the food coming up.

"Eat a little bit. I'll help you," said James placing a dish of warm oatmeal in front of Snape. He topped it liberally with brown sugar and fresh milk. The Healer proceeded to feed the ill man. He was very adept at getting the Potions Master to eat and soon was slipping in bites of tinned peaches.

Dumbledore eyed the breakfast set out before them. It was a very restrained Headmaster's Special, to be sure. In point of fact, it was simply a large breakfast without any of the insanity that had in the past punctuated the event. He selected some toast and eggs while Jeffrey dove into the bacon.

As James fed his patient he reached for the potions he'd set out and laced Snape's juice liberally with both sleeping draught and relaxants. He had not missed the twitching that had set into the muscles.

"I need to go, first," the Potions Master whispered asπ he watched the potion being prepared. With a nod James helped him up and brought him to the loo. Once he'd taken care of his initial business the Healer simply gathered his patient up into his arms. The spasms had intensified and James wanted to see what was going on.

"Sorry," Snape said sadly. He was sorry about even existing at this point and James read this as easily as a head cold.

"Severus, why are you sorry?" the elder Healer prompted. They were behind closed doors, separated from the other two wizards.

"Because I can't control myself. I just, just disappoint

everyone. I'm worthless," Snape rattled off despondently.

"Severus," James began warmly, infusing him with his energy.

"You were hurt very badly. You can't control your body,

it's too damaged right now. No one is disappointed in

you at all." He allowed Snape to digest this as the energy spun through his twitching nerves.

"I, I don't know what to think a–nymore. Everyone sent

me away: Albus, Voldemort. Black is here. Then Albus

tells me he's sorry. Why should he be sorry? Why is

Jeffrey mad at him? He's the Headmaster. He hasn't

done anything wrong. I've been bad," Snape blurted out quickly before he lost his nerve.

So much to cover! James simply pulled Snape tighter against him and slid down the wall. It would take a little time to go through this and Barnes wanted to be somewhat comfortable.

"Severus, so much has happened to you in just a few

short days. You are lost and we all want to help you

come back to us. We love you. We want you," James stopped to rock and soothe his patient, letting his words sink in. He felt Snape curl a little closer to him.

"Albus is sorry, Severus, because he trusted Black over

you. He feels worse because he sent you away. He

wants to believe the best in people and Black lied to

him. He really loves you," Barnes was now rocking a little more, smooth⁄ing hair back as the trembling increased. This was one of the core problems, accepting that Dumbledore did love him, did want him. That he had made several mistakes. James knew that just telling Snape would not solve all the problems being abandoned and abused caused, but it would plant the seeds and that was what he was striving for.

"I know, it's all too hard to think about. And you keep

remembering your parents and how they hurt you over

and over again. Why don't you let me help you sleep

some more. Sleep and heal. We'll keep you safe and

warm and near to us. We won't send you away. Would

you like to sleep, Severus?" James asked.

A very small nod, although Snape had wrapped himself tightly into the elder Healer. James simply called the potion to him, the door popped open slightly to let the goblet of juice and potion in. Gently he coaxed his patient to pull his head out and drink deeply. After several long sips the potion and juice were tucked ins⁄ide and sleepiness began to creep up.

"Sleep, Severus. I'll be right here. Albus and Jeffrey

are here, too," Barnes soothed Snape into a very relaxed state, his eyes barely open watching him carefully. Levitating his patient he moved out into the living area where Dumbledore and his son were pacing. They'd been gone a little too long.

Snape continued to observe the older Healer until he was lowered onto the lounge. Blankets floated over and suddenly a smiling Albus was tucking him in. He wanted to smile back, but he was very sleepy and could barely keep his eyes open.

"Sleep, child. I'll be right here when you wake up," Dumbledore promised. Snape felt the Headmaster's warm hands on him, smoothing his hair out of his face, gently making sure he was comfortable. Eyes nearly closed he felt a kiss pressed to his forehead and he looked up with wonder at the intense blue eyes, warm and comforting.

*He loves me* was Snape's last thought slipping into sleep.


	34. A Promise to be Better 34

A Promise to be Better 34

Author: Raven Dancer

disclaimer: All characters belong to J.K. Rowling except for the Drs. Barnes, Beryl and Gibbons. I receive no monetary compensation for these works.

Summary: regaining trust

It was warm. Someone was soothing their hand over his hair. Snape leaned into the person, listening to the heartbeat, the quiet whoosh of breath when they noticed he was waking. The slight rumble of amusement as he nestled in. It was safe here.

As he became more awake memories returned and he frowned. What about his arm? It had been cut pretty badly. He'd done it himself. Shifting slightly he managed to move the left arm up and he peered at it drowsily. It was heavily taped.

"Does that hurt, child?" the soft voice murmured and he shook his head 'no'. He touched the part he'd sliced, but there was still no pain.

"Dr. James fixed it for you, Severus. Let me know if it hurts and I will make it feel better," the soft voice said. The hand was now running up and down his back while he glanced about the room. Headmaster's living room. Orange-yellow spikes of flame licked lazily around several logs. Snape contented himself watching the flames dance for several minutes as the hand continued to soothe him.

Dumbledore was pleased Snape allowed him to care for him. He would gladly sit the rest of the afternoon and evening just like this, letting the ill man watch the fire, if that was what he wanted.

Several professors had again stopped in, mostly out of curiosity since Snape had definitively been taken out of his teaching assignment and a potions instructor from Beauxbaton had come to take over. McGonagall reported some insignificant details about winter break which was coming up, but she dispensed with that formality quickly and spent nearly an hour herself tending to Snape while Dumbledore had showered and changed into fresh robes.

It was a dear scene, the old witch had sat against the lounge in a chair and read aloud to the somnolent man. Indulging himself, Dumbledore listened as her lilting voice traveled over the well loved story. Snape had curled towards her, holding on to her hand in his sleep. She'd kissed his forehead when she left, promising another chapter of 'Wind in the Willows", the next time she visited.

As he idly traced small circles on Snape's back he heard the door open yet again. Looking up he froze, then tried unsuccessfully to relax again and not transmit his shock and anger to the resting wizard.

Snuffles came in, then transformed to Black, pulling the pouch off of his neck. He looked at the two men resting on the lounge and tooled his face into frosty indifference. The animagus moved towa^rds the fire.

"I need to talk with you a few minutes, Headmaster," Black growled, trying not to glare. The calm that had held Snape relaxed against him was broken and he struggled up shivering.

"I will go down to my rooms, Headmaster Dumbledore," Snape's voice cracked as he spoke and Black sneered sensing the weakness. The older man quickly put his hand on the ill wizard's shoulder.

"No, child, I want you to stay here, don't try to leave. You need to stay with me," the Headmaster tried to soothe Snape, but the younger wizard would have none of it and moved off the lounged, agitated. Both Black and Dumbledore watched as he lurched to the door first: it wouldn't open and feeling trapped he moved to the bedroom door. It too, would not open.

Black could feel the fear building, the desire to run and hide screamed from the Snape's body. For all he cared the idiot could bolt.

"Severus, just find a quiet corner to settle down. After I talk with Sirius we'll have a little tea," Dumbledore soothed. They both watched as Snape's eyes darted around the room finally settling on a spot near the bookcases by a window. He slunk around the edge of the room, as far away from the others as possible, and slid down by the window. The Headmaster levitated warmed blankets around the ill wizard and smiled slightly as Snape allowed the soft warmth to envelop him, pulling the edges around his body snugly.

Turning most of his attention back to Black, and rather annoyed attention at that, Dumbledore waited. His stern demeanor was unsettling to the animagus. He paced a few times in front of the fire before sitting down on the edge of the the couch.

"You've charmed the doors then?" Black inquired.

"Only to keep Severus safe. What do you need to see me about? the Headmaster said tersely. Black offered the pouch.

"Two more, a chain and a collar. Hagrid said to mention he saw some strange birds on the grounds, too. But he can't decide if it meant trouble or not," Black reported. He wished Dumbledore would offer him tea. Would talk with him. The Headmaster levitated the tray of tokens off the mantle and added the new pieces to the collection.

"Makes an even dozen," he mused, looking at the new pieces. 8 had already been sent to the Ministry for analysis. Dumbledore looked at the animagus again, waiting for any additional report. When it finally looked like that was all the Headmaster pushed up and moved toward Snape.

Snape quietly listened to the two wizards discussing the tokens while he watched the children playing on the cold lawn. It looked as if they were playing Quidditch. He could make out Malfoy: the blonde widow's peak stood out against the dark ground. And Potter with an assortment of Weasleys.

The Potter boy seemed to have found something in the dirt. A Weasley, probably Ron, had engaged in a wrestling match over whatever it had been. It was short lived as something got their attention, looked like the twins had flown by and the lot of them headed for an open space to play a quick game.

The Potions Master heard movement near him and drew back as the Headmaster came close. Seeing the fear Dumbledore refrained from getting too close but merely sat in the chair on the other side of the window frame. Snape began picking at the wrappings on his arm nervously.

Black narrowed his eyes at the two men. Why did the old man bother? The Snape was broken. It was very apparent he'd gone starkers in any event. He should be shipped to St. Mungo's!

Plus the fact Dumbledore had simply walked away from him. No tea. No talk. Just took the tokens and wandered over to the damnable Snape.

Oh, ok! He probably deserved that, having pulled all those pranks on Snape. From what Lupin tried to explain all the stress helped cause him to break. Black felt he-who-should-not-be-named deserved the lion's share of that blame!

But Black was still slightly confused about the mixed messages he perceived. It had been ok to pull those pranks before. The Headmaster had even laughed about the old times. He knew now the pranks were not tolerated. Black didn't know exactly why, but they weren't.

Everyone, everyone! including Remus and even Harry (for gods' sakes) were favoring the Snape on this one! They all expressed deep concern and checked after him on a daily basis. Snape! They cared about Snape! Black had a difficult time twisting his thoughts around that.

Pathetic. The way the creature twisted his hands together and plucked at himself. Afraid of his shadow. Afraid he was going to be knocked senseless. Did the idiot really think Dumbledore would raise a finger to hurt him? No. Dumbledore would let him curl up in his lap like some frightened child and sing to him.

Why did that make his head hurt more?

"Headmaster? Is there anything else I can do for you?" Black tried his most Gryffindor tones of concern. Dumbledore watched Snape flinch then glanced across at Black.

"No, Sirius. I am just going to get something for Severus to eat and think about an early evening. Why don't you go down and wait for Harry and Remus? It's nearly dinner time; they'll be back to the rooms soon," Dumbledore said dismissively. Black grunted.

"Right then. I'll be by tomorrow," he watched the Headmaster lean towards Snape and whisper softly, trying to get his attention more than likely. Transforming back into Snuffles, Black left.

"What do you see out there, Severus?" Dumbledore asked gently, hoping to draw the ill wizard out.

"I, I was watching the students play a little quidditch. I saw Potter and Malfoy.." Snape suddenly dropped off as the thought of Lucius crossed his mind. He shook as the memory of being tortured held a moment. Whimpering he began to curl up into a tight ball.

Jeffrey Barnes pushed into the Headmaster's offices having been summoned. He was a bit out of breath as he tossed cloak and satchel onto a nearby chair before moving across the room to join Dumbledore.

"Sorry, Jeffrey, I just didn't know what was happening here," he helplessly indicated the tight ball of misery currently crying and rocking against the shelves. The force of Snape's rocking had knocked off several books and Dumbledore had finally just moved everything off to protect the wizard.

Barnes crouched low and watched Snape for a moment.

"What happened just before he went into the fit?" the Healer asked. Dumbledore explained Black had visited, but that hadn't been the problem. Something about Potter or Malfoy.

At the mention of the name "Malfoy" Snape actually jerked hard into the shelves again. Barnes looked at Dumbledore then rose and went to the computer in the corner.

"I sent a message to Dad. He said he'd wait a bit in case I had a question. I figure that name has no significance for you?" Barnes asked and received a negative shake of the Headmaster's head.

"Just the fact he's another death eater and father of one of our students," Dumbledore reported as he kept an eye on Snape.

"Hmmm. According to Dad somebody named 'Lucius' did the actual torturing, not Voldemort," Barnes mused as he read the return message.

"That would be the M person," the older wizard sighed. He turned fully to Snape.

"Oh, Severus, you are safe here, right here, with me and Jeffrey. We won't let anyone get you. No one will. We will keep you safe, child," Dumbledore soothed, hoping to get through. Barnes moved by him and repeated the litany. Slowly the trembling ball loosened and frightened eyes peered out at them. Encouraged, Dumbledore sat down on the floor nearby with Jeffrey in the chair behind him. Each tried to look as gentle and harmless as possible.

"Child, come, it will be just fine. Let's get you warmed and have some dinner. Would you like some soup? Maybe some baked chicken and vegetables? Dobby would love to bring you dinner," the Headmaster tried. Arms finally lowered from Snape's face and he looked at both men.

"Headmaster? Dr. Barnes?" he managed, receiving warm smiles from both. Dumbledore held open his arms.

"Come here, young one," he encouraged and waited patiently while a myriad of emotions, fear and longing especially, chased over Snape's face. But finally longing won and he crawled across the gap and into Dumbledore's arms snuffling.

Barnes leaned over and began stroking Snape's hair before slipping onto the floor behind him and running hands over the crying man's back. Nestled in warmth the wizard finally felt safe.


	35. A Promise to be Better 35

A Promise to be Better 35

Author: Raven Dancer

disclaimer: All characters belong to J.K. Rowling except for the Drs. Barnes, Beryl and Gibbons. I receive no monetary compensation for these works.

Summary: gaining ground

First he ate. Chicken baked with crispy skin lightly seasoned with a little rosemary. Green beans sliced with some butter and corn similarly treated. Warm rolls. Glass of cold milk.

Then a warm, fragrant bath. With a duck. Imagine that, the Headmaster kept a yellow duck in his bathroom! The creature paddled around making strange squeaky noises while washcloths ran across his skin. Chuckles of amusement when he'd reached out to touch the duck which squeaked indignantly and smoothed its plastic feathers.

He leaned back as his hair was washed and rinsed out. No soap in his eyes, he was pleased to note. Soap always stung. He tried for the duck again; it flapped against the waves avoiding capture.

Someone tapped the duck in his direction and he was successful, carefully cupping his hands around the small creature as it squeaked and flopped about. He'd never seen such a thing. Mother never allowed any playing in the tub. In, cold water, out.

This water was warm and splashy and it had a squeaky duck in it. He released the yellow bird and watched as it paddled about. Suddenly a wet cloth covered his face and he panicked, first striking out then freezing in absolute fear when he realized he must have hit someone.

"It's ok, child. Here," said that soft voice, and the duck danced into his view again squeaking at him. The soft voice encouraged him to catch it and he forgot his fear as he reached out for the bobbing creature.

Dumbledore looked over at Barnes. The Healer did not even try to hide his smirk.

"You enjoyed that, didn't you Jeffrey," the Headmaster said mildly as he leaned back watching Snape hold the duck again.

"Well, how often does the Headmaster of Hogwarts get bopped on the nose?" the Healer said. He also was watching the Potions Master. The wizard seemed to have regressed back to childhood but was able to recognize he was with them and not with his parents. This was a good thing, Snape was happy and aware and playful for the most part.

Barnes mulled over the evening, with Malfoy's name triggering a complete meltdown then this regression to being a young child. Somehow they'd managed to retain Snape's trust this time. The Healer considered that a great stride forward.

"Severus? May I clean your face?" Barnes decided to ask first before removing the soap Dumbledore managed to get on it. Big, luminous eyes turned towards him. Just a child, a curious, trusting child.

"I am going to wipe off the soap, Severus. See? Just a towel," Barnes showed him the cloth then tentatively touched it to his cheek. Snape obediently closed his eyes and waited for the wiping to occur. Absurdly pleased with himself the young healer grinned and gently rinsed the soap away.

"Show-off," the Headmaster pretended to pout. The older man moved up to sit on the toilet and watched his friend play a little longer with the duck, enjoying the water. He was a bit concerned about this behavior, but decided it must be ok since Barnes did not seem very perturbed by it.

Soon Snape leaned back and sighed as he sank most of the way into the water. The warmth felt good. Having Albus and Jeffrey near him lulled him into feeling safe.

"Severus? Let's get dried off and dressed," Barnes suggested.

"Ok, Jeffrey," Snape agreed, "I'm turning into a prune." And he was 37 again, stepping up out of the tub and reaching for a towel. A rather shaky 37 year-old, though and he allowed both wizards to bundle him into the bedroom and help him into sleep clothes. As Barnes fixed his night potion Dumbledore dried out his hair, carefully pulling it into a simple ponytail.

He drank, caught himself licking his lips when the sweet cinnamon vanilla flavor surprised him.

"Tastes good, Jeffrey," Snape murmured sleepily. Dumbledore reached in to hold the cup as it trembled, holding it steady as the wizard took the last, long creamy sip. Licked his milky mustache away and smiled happily at his mentor.

"Thanks, Albus," the nearly asleep Snape managed. He sighed happily as Jeffrey lowered him onto his pillow, pulling covers up to his neck. A light nudge and over he went, breathing evening out in slumber.

Chairs were pulled across the room. Both were loath to leave Snape alone even in sleep. Dumbledore looked at Barnes questioningly.

"Is he all right?" the Headmaster asked.

"He's going to be. I think he's at a transition, fragile, but he's accepting us again," Barnes mused.

"I wondered about the bath," Dumbledore led the Healer.

"Oh, the regression? That's what's so encouraging. He went back to a point where he'd been sorely hurt in the past, possibly equivalent to the pain he experienced at Mr. M's hands," even now they both refrained from saying Malfoy's name aloud.

"He was playing, Albus, playing and feeling completely safe with us seeing him like that. Knowing we'd let him be that child without harming him in any way," Barnes continued.

"I noticed we've become 'Jeffrey' and 'Albus' again," Dumbledore added with a slight smile.

"Yes. Now we just have to work through the reasons why he went back to Voldemort this time," Barnes reasoned watching Dumbledore shift uncomfortably.

"Albus, we must. He needs to accept you're sorry; he needs to acknowledge you were wrong. I think that will be the hardest," Barnes said gently.

"I was spectacularly wrong," Dumbledore murmured.

"Well, true. And now I must be off. I'll leave his morning potion on your desk. My father will be by before lunch," Barnes stood and stretched. The Headmaster smiled.

"Your father is coming?" he asked. Barnes returned the grin.

"Dr. Barnes, senior member of the clinic, has determined Severus needs a more practiced hand in some facets of his healing," Jeffrey recited with a smirk. "Plus he's a sucker for the Severus's plight. Dad's strongest gifts have always been with emotional healing. Anyway, he's had the most experience with the unforgivable curses."

Dumbledore wished him a safe trip home and then sat watching Snape curled in sleep. The worst had happened but he still had his child. Rising, he went about preparing to go to bed.

Morning started rather disagreeably. Dobby woke the Headmaster at 7 am informing him several professors wanted to speak with him. He dressed, hair wanded into neatness then a quick slurp of tea before he walked out of the bedroom.

Leaving the door open he glanced across the room. Flitwick, Sinistra, Vector, and Hootch. Interesting gathering. A knock at the door and in tumbled Trelawney and McGonagall. Nearly a quorum.

The four seated professors fairly glared at the late arrivals. Dumbledore wondered what had happened but chose to go the professional route and continued around the small crowd to sit at his desk.

"Good morning," he said with just the right blend of friendliness and sternness, gaining eye contact with the group.

"I take this is not a social gathering?" he continued, noting the flits of anger on his collective staffs' faces. No one seemed disposed to speak first and he had really no idea why they were all here to begin with.

"A problem with some students? Have the Weasley twins gone and proved they can still surprise us?" Dumbledore guessed. Flitwick moved slightly.

"Actually, Headmaster Dumbledore," the charms professor began.

*uh-oh, full title, this will be nasty* Dumbledore thought.

"We were rather concerned about you," Flitwick finished and several professors nodded in agreement.

"Yes, Headmaster, you seem to have your hands fairly full, lately, with school business," Vector hedged.

"Nothing more than usual," Dumbledore sat back folding his hands carefully into his lap. Hootch casually glanced at Sinistra before returning her formidable gaze back to the Headmaster.

"Usual, Headmaster, includes enough correspondence and reports to choke the proverbial horse," the flying instructor pointed out. "With all these intrusions you've been suffering from other staff we're worried you've gotten overwhelmed"

Dumbledore did not look overwhelmed. In point of fact, he seemed quite on top of his game. Hootch shifted uncomfortably.

"I don't consider any of you intrusions," Dumbledore said mildly enough.

"Well, to be blunt, sir," Vector began, "it's more about the increased foot traffic from Hogsmeade."

*Oooh, that was oblique enough,* thought McGonagall.

"Hogsmeade?" Dumbledore played confused well.

"Sir, you've had two healers in and out of your rooms at all hours of the day and night for weeks," Flitwick observed as he leaned forward.

"Yes, if a staff member is ill, shouldn't he be in the hospital wing, at the least?" voiced Sinistra.

"Or St. Mungo's" muttered Hootch. Dumbledore simply raised his eyebrow at the lot of them. This caused the grouping of four to backpedal slightly.

"Am I to understand you find my caring for Professor Snape repugnant to you?" the Headmaster asked succinctly.

"To some of us it appears, but not all," McGonagall snipped.

"I have seen no problems," Trelawney positively oozed misty divining.

"It's not befitting for the Headmaster to have a mentally unbalanced person in his rooms," Vector hissed back.

"What if someone from the ministry visited?" Sinistra added. McGonagall made a disgusted noise as Dumbledore pulled up straighter and simply looked across the desk top at his staff.

"Professor Snape is not mentally unbalanced. The reasons I have him here are not open to discussion," Dumbledore said with some heat. Everyone shifted uncomfortably under that angry gaze.

"We don't mean to imply he is," Vector tried.

"We were concerned he was a larger burden than you should bear, given the cares of the school," Flitwick slid in carefully.

An inelegant snort came, from all people, Trelawney, as she frowned at her colleagues.

"Ridiculous," she hissed. "Severus is not a burden. And you did say he was unbalanced, Vector!"

"Ah, but you don't care for him either, I'll wager!" Hootch jumped in, quick to turn the focus to the apparently weaker divinations teacher.

"Perhaps you should take him in, Sybil," Flitwick added.

"No one is going to remove Severus from me," Dumbledore said low and dangerous.

"You will do well to drop this line of discussion, all of you!" he finished with a glare.

Dobby was suddenly rocketing about, bearing tea and breakfast to the Headmaster's table. There, with glittering eyes and his standard sneer, sat the Potions Master pouring tea.

"Good morning," Snape said as he reached for a piece of toast. McGonagall, who was still standing, moved across the room and joined him, putting her hands on his shoulders as she moved around him to sit on the far side of the table.

"Good morning, Severus," she said quietly, accepting a cup of tea and reached for a scone. Trelawney pushed up and moved to join her colleagues helping herself to breakfast.

"Do you have any legitimate concerns to discuss?" Dumbledore said in a dark tone. All four professors answered negatively and found themselves escorted out of the offices rather abruptly.

Picking up Snape's potion, Dumbledore joined the three wizards picking over the breakfast offerings. He mixed it into a cup of juice and nudged it over to the Potions Master. Without comment Snape lifted the glass and drank it then returned to his toast. He munched a moment before finally speaking.

"I really should go back to my rooms, Headmaster," he managed to say without emotion. Both witches glanced at Snape then Dumbledore.

"No, Severus, you will stay here with me," the Headmaster said just as calmly buttering his scone.

"They have a legitimate concern," Snape tried.

"Exactly when did you wander into the room?" Dumbledore countered.

"I think Frederick was referring to me as unbalanced," Snape replied in a small voice.

"That was Vector," responded Trelawney, "you're not unbalanced, Severus, merely a little overwhelmed." She selected several pieces of bacon and began to munch appreciatively.

McGonagall set down her tea and covered Snape's hand, squeezing it gently.

"You've been through an awful lot lately, Severus. You just need time to sort it all out," the witch said quietly burring her r's. Snape pulled his eyes up and looked briefly at her.

"Thank you, Minerva, Sybil, for your understanding," he said.

"No problem, Professor," Trelawney intoned, "I myself can see through all this confusion. The inner eye can be such a comfort." She raised her eyebrow and smirked at all three, causing first McGonagall then Dumbledore to snicker. A smile blossomed on Snape's face as he caught her gentle jibes at herself.

Keeping up a light conversation, mostly about the students and the upcoming holiday, Snape remained calm and focused. Dumbledore keenly appreciated the two witches' efforts to maintain the ease. The potion Barnes left began to weave its way through the Potions Master and he stifled several yawns.

"The Healers are keeping him as relaxed as possible until all the residual damage had healed," Dumbledore explained as he tugged on the sleepy wizard. It was an easy thing to lower Snape onto the lounge and cover him with warm blankets.

McGonagall followed Dumbledore, tucking in the edges as Snape sleepily regarded her.

"What? No bedtime stories about Ratty and Mole?" the Potions Master teased.

"Not bedtime, Professor," the witch smiled down watching his eyes close. She ran her hand over his forehead, gave a slight suggestive charm and he tumbled into sleep.

"How bad is it, Albus?" Trelawney asked. No more pretense about visions and inner eyes. McGonagall continued to soothe Snape as he settled deeper into the warmth and safety. With a heavy sigh Dumbledore outlined what they knew of the recent torture.

"Dr. Barnes wants him to sleep as much as possible to ensure he heals. Any stimulation to the nervous system slows down the process," the Headmaster explained.

"It's not called an unforgivable curse for nothing," Trelawney remarked, dark eyes surveying the somnolent wizard.

"If I remember correctly, Headmaster, this is the second time this year Severus has been hurt this badly?" McGonagall's sharp eyes pinned Dumbledore down.

"Yes, Minerva. He was bedridden nearly two weeks last summer," the Headmaster conceded.

"Add to that the emotional distress, that grim and his loss of self I've read in him of late," Trelawney added. She noted Dumbledore flinch and knew yet again she'd hit the target.

"Well, Sybil, we need to be off to our classrooms and you, Albus, must have a stack of paper to shuffle this morning. I'll be by after lunch during my planning period," Mcgonagall said briskly moving towards the door, Trelawney in tow.

"Have a good morning, ladies," Dumbledore nodded.


	36. A Promise to be Better 36

A Promise to be Better 36

Author: Raven Dancer

disclaimer: All characters belong to J.K. Rowling except for the Drs. Barnes, Beryl and Gibbons. I receive no monetary compensation for these works.

Summary: healings.

Snape woke and managed his own trip to the loo before stumbling out to the lounge again. But the lounge was taken? Dr. James? His potion-adled mind had difficulty with the Healer on the lounge. Snape would have backed away or even turned aside if he'd had the control. As was he simply stood and stared getting rather agitated.

"Hullo, Severus. Tired?" low, melodic voice. Snape nodded dully. James smiled and opened his arms. Quivering the Potions Master looked at the Healer wanting to go to him, knowing it would feel good to let the wizard take care of him. But he held back, the doubts and feeling of not deserving such comfort filled him.

"Severus, come here. I want to pulse you and help you heal," Barnes encouraged the reluctant patient. He also wanted Snape to take the steps to him, on his own, rather than having to drag him over. The Healer again asked him to come lie down with him. Taking several shaky steps Snape nearly fell into the sanctuary of James' arms.

"Good, Severus!" the Healer murmured, settling back into the lounge arranging his patient carefully. A few judicious pulses of energy rewarded Snape immediately for coming to him. Blankets settled over them and Barnes began to scan.

Still some damage, nerves jangled and misfired causing the twitching and spasms. The expended energy caused exhaustion on top of the emotional distress. This made Snape more tired and he did not sleep or rest comfortably. Old memories kept surfacing, between the random nerves firing them and the parallel in situations (Albus versus Mother) making it worse.

For one, Snape kept waking to go to the bathroom. A defense mechanism from childhood from what Jeffrey had figured out. Had to keep the bladder emptied in case he was punished and couldn't use the loo for a longer period. James noted mentally that Snape had fought off the potions again and had used the loo that morning. Barely two hours into the dose. Normally that would keep a patient out four or five hours.

*The mind is an amazing thing,* James mused as he ran a soothing hand over Snape's back, pulsing gently. For his part, Snape curled into the warmth snuffling, hiding his face under the blankets.

Barnes fully intended to stay five or six hours. Jeffrey had explained all the reactions from the night before and the older Healer wanted to further the repairs to Snape's nerves. If he had a chance to work on his emotional turmoil so much the better.

The Headmaster had left for the Ministry soon after Barnes had arrived. Following up on the latest information Snape had brought back on the three aurors.

Just after noon Professor McGonagall came to visit.

"Professor Dumbledore?" the witch called.

"He's away for a few hours, Professor," James called from the lounge. Snape was just starting to surface, fingers kneading the Healer's robes. McGonagall smiled and moved towards them.

"Actually, I've come to see to Professor Snape, if you need to be going," she said.

"No, I'm set until about four or so. Severus is just working his way up and then we'll have a little lunch," James explained.

"I was going to read to him," McGonagall stood uncertain. James smiled.

"Please, it would be very good for him to wake up to such a pleasing voice. What are you reading to him?" the Healer encouraged her. The witched pulled the book from her robes, showing the title. With a little more encouragement McGonagall pulled a chair closer and began to read more about the river and its inhabitants.

Barnes kept a tight scan on his patient, sending in energy sporadically. The twitching had decreased and he could feel Snape's mind surfacing, fingers continued to move over his robe. Very tactile person he mused. Then muscles began to flex and relax, stretching and turning ever so slightly. The healer ran strong hands over a lightly arching back.

Then Snape became more aware of his surroundings and resettled listening to the lilting voice telling him a story. He'd never hear or read Wind in the Willows. Eyes opened slightly to watch McGonagall read aloud. Fingers no longer traveling over the robes but tucked around the Healer as the energy continued to fire and heal nerve endings.

The door opened and James looked up expecting Dumbledore to return. Instead Snuffles bounded in, took a look at McGonagall and stopped before transforming. The dog stiffly walked towards the trio. The witch stopped in her reading.

"Well, 'Snuffles', what are you doing here?" she asked lifting her eyebrow. She knew this was an animagus, she just didn't know who it actually was. The Healer briefly wondered how she'd react. Was she privy that Black was a wrongly accused man? But his speculations were set aside when he felt Snape try to get up and away.

"Severus!" he murmured, pulling his patient tight against him.

"Go, I can go," Snape muttered weakly.

"No, you can't," James replied continuing to send just a little energy to repair more damage.

"Washroom," Snape tried.

"Severus, no. You don't need to leave," Barnes tucked Snape's head under his chin, holding him closer. He could feel the spiral of fear. Well, time to work on that!

"Severus, you don't have to run. No one will hurt you here. Albus wants you right here, safe in his rooms," the Healer crooned softly, running one hand up and down Snape's back while the other held him in place.

"You have had a bad time, Severus. Albus made some very bad choices, listening to Sirius and not to you. He wants to tell you how sorry he is, if you'll let him," Barnes sent a bit of directed energy as nerves twitched. McGonagall looked from the two wizards on the couch to the dog and did some fast figuring. She did not react except to narrow her eyes at the dog.

"Severus, you don't have to run, trust me. Relax. Good. You are just fine. I know you've been remembering your mother and father, too," Barnes pursued, feeling the muscles tighten slightly again. But he kept on talking, kept his hand running up and down while sending in just enough energy to keep the healing going.

"You were hurt very badly, but you can let it go now. They can't hurt you any more. We are going to do all we can to keep you safe."

Movement caught his eye as Mcgonagall leaned closer and ran her hand over Snape's face and hair.

"Now Severus, you're in the best place possible, right here. Concentrate on getting better, let Dr. James and Jeffrey help you. Let Albus in, child. I know he cares for you very much," she murmured. Snuffles slid down resting his head on his paws with a snort.

"And you, you great beast. I don't know what part in all this you're playing, but the Headmaster is out and won't be back until supper at the least. Leave!" McGonagall swept her arm towards the door and was rewarded with a slight growl and sneer. Not one to be intimidated, she pulled her wand out and pointed it at Snuffles.

"Out. Now. I will remove you," she flicked a stream of sparks towards the dog. Rising, hackles up, Snuffles walked slowly to the door and went out, the door firmly closing behind him. With a huff she returned her wand to her robe sleeve and turned back to Snape.

"Severus, I know this is hard for you, to be completely dependent on others. But don't fight it. I've been almost exactly where you are now, completely helpless for weeks after the overthrow of Grindelwald. So was Albus for that matter. Sometimes you just have to let go. Let go and let us take care of you," the witch gently began to run her hand over Snape's head, soothing him as he tried to compose himself.

Between the Healer and the witch Snape stayed in the present time, albeit trembling and struggling for a minute before he expelled all the air from his lungs in a low sobbing moan.

It HURT. It all hurt so damned much! But there was Dr. James and his warmth and Minerva with her clever hands and words holding him. As a matter of course tears fell although he didn't know what exactly he was crying about. Neither person cared about it, neither encouraged or discouraged him. They just let him be Severus Snape.

He lie there, wrapped warmly, nerves tingled very slightly as the energy pulsed. McGonagall's voice picked up the story of the poor mole lost in the woods snuffling and scared as the rat came to find him. He felt so much like that mole, wanting to curl up in the cold and dead leaves; just give up. But that rat was kind and persistent that he started to listen more closely to the voice as it caressed the words and suddenly there was BADGER and everything was ok again.

"Now Severus," Dr. James quietly interjected, his deep voice reminded him of McGonagall's' for its kindness and timbre. "What about a bit of a wash-up and some lunch? I'm sure Minerva would like a little something before she goes back to teach this afternoon."

They had a very quiet lunch, letting Snape eat slowly, rather distracted. Barnes and McGonagall spoke about her classes, some of the amusing things the students managed to do with various transfiguration spells. After eating enough to satisfy the Healer, Snape drank his potion.

"This one will not put you to sleep, Severus. I thought you might enjoy being awake for a while," Barnes said lightly. He was encouraged by the nod and soft agreement from his patient. McGonagall took her leave, moved to pat Snape on the shoulder. When he flinched she took no notice but gently kissed his temple.

"You'll be fine, Severus. Just fine," she said quietly. He simply looked at her, eyes wide from the various potions working through him and all the feelings that were bubbling up from years of tight control.

When the Headmaster returned he found Barnes curled up on the couch reading while Snape was sitting once more in front of the window wrapped loosely in blankets. He tossed his cloak aside and made a quick trip to the loo. When he came out the Healer was buttoning up his cloak, satchel ready at the door.

"I've left a potion for after dinner, which will also help him sleep as usual. He'll need it by 8 o'clock in any case," Barnes said. "Morning dose is on your desk. He's had a fairly decent afternoon; Minerva read to him and he's wandered a little around the room. I'll send you a more detailed message later this evening once he's in bed. Oh," the Healer turned slightly before he went out the door. "Snuffles stopped by. He'll be back. Minerva tossed him out."

Dumbledore had a few questions to ask, especially about Snuffles, but Barnes was gone. The older wizard shook his head. Jeffrey was still a bit angry with him and James was leaving him without (what Dumbledore considered) necessary information. He wasn't sure which was worse. Well, might as well see if Snape was going to bolt or not!

"Hullo, Severus," Dumbledore tried gently. The thin figure didn't move at first, no indication he'd even heard the greeting. Then Snape shifted slightly.

"It's snowing, Albus," the Potions Master said in a small, but nearly happy voice.

"Big, wet flakes," and Snape looked up at Dumbledore and the older wizard knew it was nearly all right.

"Do you remember when it snowed before?" Snape continued, looking from the window to the Headmaster an˘d back. This was not a simple question, Dumbledore was sure of it and thought back trying to recall snow falls and his friend. Back over the years, to when Snape first became his spy and a cold winter's day nearly sick with dread he'd been found out.

"Yes, Severus. You came back to me and we sat and watched the snow cover the grounds together," Dumbledore said, surprised he'd found that old memory kicking about. Snape just smiled serenely before turning to watch the flurries and flakes dance before him.

The Headmaster managed to sit down on the floor, using the bookshelf and the lounge to lean against. He tapped on Snape's shoulder and beckoned him to come closer.

"Let's warm you, Severus. You're a bit chilled even with your blankets," he managed to pull Snape against him, becoming Snape's backrest, covering them both with the blankets. A little charm and it warmed up, the thin body shivering. They sat together as the snow flew past covering the ground in a magical white carpet.


	37. A Promise to be Better 37

A Promise to be Better 37

Author: Raven Dancer

disclaimer: All characters belong to J.K. Rowling except for the Drs. Barnes, Beryl and Gibbons. I receive no monetary compensation for these works.

Summary: another influx

At some point within an hour Dumbledore moved into the lounge, close to the large window and settled into it with Snape. The Potions Master was comfortably snugged against him watching the snow continue to fall in the gathering dark.

"It's about time to eat some dinner, Severus," the Headmaster said quietly.

"'k," Snape answered but made no move. Chuckling, Dumbledore began to run strong hands over his friend's back, along his side, tickling him slightly. Snape squirmed a smile lighting his face.

"Up, child!" the Headmaster commanded. Snape nuzzled once more into the warmth.

"'k," he replied, voice full of mischief and the tickling resumed once more until Dumbledore was able to move off the lounge taking all the covers with him. Snape looked up with a pout, eyes still dancing with happiness.

"Now, Severus. Wash up and I'll ask Dobby to bring up something tasty," the Headmaster reached to pat Snape's hair and had his hand caught. The Potions Master held tight for a moment, then gave it a quick kiss before moving up and away.

"'k," Snape said as went to the loo. Dumbledore smiled to himself as he rubbed the kiss into his hand.

Lamb stew made its appearance on the table, the fragrance brought Snape out sniffing the air. Turnips, rutabagas, carrots, and onions came with the lamb. Dumbledore tore the round loaf of bread into several pieces, buttering one chunk for himself. Snape reached over for a piece, preferring to dip it in the hot broth.

"A little butter?" the older wizard offered. Snape declined as he had usually done in the past. Although the younger wizard professed to loving butter on warm bread. Experimentally, Dumbledore nudged his own buttered piece onto the bread dish next to Snape. He didn't have long to wait until the plain piece was abandoned and the buttered picked up.

Deciding to not say anything, they continued the meal in companionable silence, the Headmaster buttering more bread for himself. He mused on the fact Snape would not generally reach for the butter nor the sugar, taking his tea black. He'd not touch the sweetened, clotted cream unless it was put on his plate. Then he devoured it. While musing on this eating pattern, Dumbledore accepted tea (properly creamed and sugared the way he liked it) while Snape sipped his black.

When the cup was set back down, the Headmaster added a lump of sugar, but skipped the cream part. With a very small grin Snape retrieved his tea, stirred, and took another, longer sip.

Before he could muse on this more, the door opened and Lupin stepped in with Snuffles close on his heels. Seeing that it was only the two at the table, Black transformed into his human form. Dumbledore immediately put a hand on Snape's shoulder.

"Stay, Severus," he murmured, hoping against hope the Potions Master would not try to leave. It was hard but James and Minerva had done their jobs well, Snape remained knowing that Dumbledore at the least would protect him.

"Hullo, Severus!" Lupin said brightly, crossing to the table and pulling out the chair next to him. "You're looking much better tonight!" Snape looked at the DADA professor a moment before answering.

"Thank you, Remus," he nodded slightly then pulled over a clean tea cup and poured.

"Tea?" Snape asked politely, Lupin accepted. He turned to the animagus.

"Tea, Black?" the ill wizard asked just as politely, but refused the familiar first name. The animagus sneered a smile.

"Why so formal, Se-ver-us?" he growled very softly. Lupin and Dumbledore glared at the man as he sauntered to the table, posturing ever so slightly as he stared down at the weakened wizard.

"Just thought you'd prefer it since you don't like the idea of being friendly anymore than I did when Albus first asked me," Snape returned lightly, looking into Black's angry eyes.

"I don't want any tea, thank you ever so much, Se-ver-us," Black stalked around the end of the table to be nearer to Dumbledore. The hatred dripped from his words. Both Lupin and the Headmaster moved slightly as to protect the wizard between them. Sitting down the animagus ignored the Snape and concentrated on the other two.

"Hagrid and I don't know if this is significant or not," Black launched into his concern. He pulled the leather pouch off of his neck and carefully shook out several gold coins on the table.

"We found a small pile of galleons near the edge of the lake. A raven was poking through them. Probably because they were shiny. We all know how carrion birds like shiny things," Black stared pointedly at Snape who sipped at his tea. Lupin shifted closer still. When Snape reached for the pot the DADA professor picked it up and poured more tea into the nearly empty cup.

"Sugar?" Lupin asked politely.

"No thank you," Snape replied.

Dumbledore flicked his hand and a lump danced up and out landing in the cup. Both Lupin and Snape looked at the agitated Headmaster, then the cup. With a shrug the Potions Master picked up his spoon and stirred.

"One lump it is," he remarked.

"What Hagrid wonders is: are the coins hexed? They are gold, and they were left on the ground by the lake," Black continued a bit unsettled by the exchange. Dumbledore looked them over. They had been polished to a nice brightness, certainly hard to miss on the cold winter's ground. The coins would even show up against the snow.

"When did you find them, Sirius?" he asked curiously. Black took this as a good sign.

"Before lunch, before the snow flew. The children had been out yesterday afternoon and this morning, but none down to the lake. Just to classes and back," Black explained.

"But if a raven had found them, it might have taken one or more. They could be back at the bird's nest," Lupin pointed out.

"Or dropped somewhere along the flight path," Snape murmured. "Coins are not easy to hold in a claw or even a beak."

"Any way to tell if they're cursed?" Black grudgingly asked, knowing only Snape would have the answer.

"Not unless the Ministry had found a way outside of holding one and seeing if the person becomes ill," Snape said quietly.

"I thought you helped test these things, Snape," Black accused. Snape raised his head and once more met his glare.

"Once Algie developed the cure, I also helped test what the curse would stick to. We took turns getting sick, Black. It was a wonderful experience: getting cursed and curing one another," Snape shuddered at the memory. Concerned it might push his friend towards a more unpleasant reaction Dumbledore put his hand on Snape's and squeezed gently.

"I'm certain it was not, Severus," he said gently, sending his own particular stream of energy into Snape. The influx was soothing, causing the ill wizard's eyes to widen slightly then relax. Black, not one to miss anything done for the Snape, sneered slightly.

"Feeling a bit weak Severus?" he asked as mildly as he could, which wasn't much. Snape flicked his softened eyes to the animagus.

"Actually, yes, very weak. But Albus is watching out for me," he said quietly. Dumbledore simply ran a hand over his friend's hair affectionately.

"He's much better, Sirius. Just takes time to heal after all that's happened," the Headmaster was pleased with Snape's response and more pleased he hadn't bolted from the room when pushed. He noted Lupin placing a hand on Snape's shoulder.

"Lots of us are watching out for you, Severus," he said calmly, not caring that Black glared at him. Snape just smiled then turned back to his tea. Lupin glanced over at the coins.

"We're going to have to tell the students and staff to watch out for stray coins. We missed the chance to tell them at dinner," Lupin pointed out.

"I'll send for key staff members and we'll make an announcement at breakfast and at all classes tomorrow morning," Dumbledore decided. Glancing at the clock on the wall he did some quick figuring.

"I'll send a note with a some of the house elves and round up McGonagall, Flitwick, Sprout, Hootch, Filch and Hagrid. They can stop by after eight or eight thirty," reaching for a mug the Headmaster pulled out a packet and mixed it into some juice before placing it in front of Snape. It was nearing 7:30 and he had felt the slight twitching when he'd touched the younger man. Briefly eyeing the mug, the wizard picked it up and drank deeply. Not as good as last night Snape decided. He liked the sweet milk concoctions better.

Black listened to the the Headmaster while staring at the Snape. He was jealous, plain and simple. Even though his best friend, Lupin, had cared for him nearly the entire previous year and Dumbledore had spent hours listening and talking with him just the past month or two, he wanted Snape out. OUT.

He mused over that while the Snape drank down his medicine. Why did he want the Snape gone? Black had always had the best of everything. Good family, great friends but all the while at school he tormented Snape every chance he had. Snape had nothing much then, just texts and school supplies. Those he'd ruined when he had the chance.

Now that Black was back, Dumbledore had given the Gryffindor lots of attention and kindness. He'd given him a place to stay and made sure he could see his Godson often, nearly every day. The animagus was still wanted by the ministry yet the Headmaster had shielded him.

The thanks? Tormenting Snape. Black's head ached as he tried to think through everything that was happening. With an effort he raised up in time to see Dumbledore leading Snape into the bedroom. He growled low in his throat.

"Sirius! Stop that! For Merlin's sake what is your problem?" Lupin demanded, snapping his friend out of his reverie.

"Sorry. I just can't get past the feeling that git isn't any good," Black muttered.

"Well, get it in your skull. Severus is on our side. He is Albus's best friend. He isn't the evil personified you've made him out to be," Lupin hissed, watching as the animagus rubbed his temples as if in pain. Taking pity, he reached out and pushed stray hair back.

"Come on, Padfoot. You need something for that headache and a good night's sleep," Lupin enticed Black up. Once Black transformed they went down to the DADA professor's room for the night.


	38. A Promise to be Better 38

A Promise to be Better 38

Author: Raven Dancer

disclaimer: All characters belong to J.K. Rowling except for the Drs. Barnes, Beryl and Gibbons. I receive no monetary compensation for these works.

Summary: Complications and Reconnections

The Headmaster sighed as he closed the door behind Hootch. He was glad Snape stayed asleep during the impromptu meeting. Dumbledore was very aware Hootch and even Sprout were not happy about their arrangement. Flitwick, on the other hand, held his opinions close; not giving any indication there had ever been a confrontation about Snape's residency.

Dobby was cleaning up the remains of dinner, so Dumbledore went into the washroom and prepared for bed. It was nearly eleven and he was rather tired. Snape was still in bed, in the dim light he could see the body curled around a pillow. Snuffling. Snuffling? The wizard should be fast asleep given the potion he'd had earlier.

Coming around the bed the Headmaster peered down, noting Snape seemed to be asleep, but was crying. Whatever he was dreaming was not pleasant. Knowing better than to touch first, the older wizard sank down onto the bed.

"Severus? Child? It's Albus. I'm going to come to bed now, ok? No need to be afraid, it's just Albus," he slid carefully into bed and tugged away the pillow.

"Albus?" quiet murmur.

"Yes, Severus. I'm just coming to sleep," Dumbledore assured.

"All right?" small voice in the gloom.

"Yes, child. I'm fine," Dumbledore soothed, now reaching out and touching Snape's face.

"Did you have a bad dream, child?" he pursued carefully.

"I guess. I can't remember," Snape admitted and allowed his friend to pull him over closer. Unashamed, the younger man curled against Dumbledore seeking protection and comfort. The quiet voice and soft touch was enough and he fell back into a deep sleep.

Snape woke to the sight of McGonagall sitting next to the bed. She was reading a magazine. He peered at the cover trying to make it out. "Teen Witch". "Teen Witch"? The incongruity of the scene washed over him as he twitched, long muscles in his back starting to spasm painfully.

"Severus?" McGonagall looked up, quickly stuffing the magazine in her valise. Her cool hands touched his face.

"Teen Witch?" he asked weakly, trying to ride out the pain. He felt himself turned stomach-down as those long fingered hands began to work over his back, kneading twitching muscles.

"I took it away from Ms. Parkinson. I suppose it should actually go to you, as her head of house, Professor Snape," she expertly ran fingers into the wiry frame as he groaned helplessly.

"Dr. Barnes has left your morning potion, but he wanted you to eat before you drank it. He said you'd sleep most of the morning," McGonagall duly reported as she tamed all the rebellious muscles. Relaxing, Snape hugged his pillow.

"Teen Witch?" he murmured, enjoying the pain free moment. McGonagall chuckled.

"One track mind. Yes, "Teen Witch". I was glorying in all the acne potions and I was looking forward to taking the personality assessment test. Maybe we should both take it? Hmmmm?" she could dish out as well as take. Snape just shook his head, hiding in the pillow.

"Well, then, what about going and washing up for breakfast?" she asked, tugging gently on his hair. With more help than the Potions Master realized, he was deposited in the washroom, then removed and brought to table by the feisty Transfigurations Professor. Beryl popped up and soon a bowl of oatmeal properly adorned with sugar and cream was placed before him; sliced cantaloupe waited patiently nearby.

McGonagall gently nagged him through breakfast. At least she did not pick up the spoon and feed him like Dr. James was apt to do. Once the cantaloupe was squared away a mug was set down with warm apple juice and potion. A little cinnamon tickled Snape's nose as he sipped happily.

Snape eyed the lounge longingly, but when he looked at his companion he swerved to the couch and sat down resolutely. Secretly McGonagall wanted to curl up with the Potions Master. The desire to make Snape feel secure and warm was strong. But the practical side reminded her he really was a private person and these tantalizing glimpses of him weak and needy weren't something she could comfortably act upon.

Instead, she sat down on the other end of the couch and pulled out her book and showed it to Snape.

"Lie down, Severus, and I'll read to you before you fall asleep," she offered. Snape pulled the blanket off the back of the couch and scooted closer before stretching out, putting his head just on her lap. Bemused, she glanced down at him.

"Comfy?" she trilled with a smile. He nodded happily pulling the covers up to his neck. Delighted Snape felt comfortable enough for this closeness she charmed the book open and began reading Wind in the Willows where she'd left off the day before.

As he drowsed, falling further toward sleep, Snape listened raptly to McGonagall's lilting voice as it rose and fell with the rhythm of the text. He felt a light hand on his forehead and then fingers smoothing his hair. He turned very slightly so the hand could continue to stroke him lightly. He fell asleep to the voice warming him and the hand comforting him.

After a time Dumbledore returned to his offices. He smiled at his two professors, Snape asleep nestled against McGonagall. The witch smiled slightly, color rising in her cheeks, as she carefully stood and tucked a pillow under the wizard's head.

"Anyone come forward?" McGonagall asked. The Headmaster shook his head.

"No, but some students skipped breakfast. I expect the news will spread and we'll know by lunch if any coins were found," he replied.

"You're not sure they're actually hexed?" McGonagall asked.

"No. As I told you last night, there are no tests that have been developed. The Ministry research team has not sent any more information. If someone has picked one up we will have to wait to see if that person becomes sick," the Headmaster lamented. He certainly was not going to have Snape perform the counter-spell until there was no reasonable doubt. The Potions Master was too weak to perform complicated spells needlessly.

"I will be off to my classes, Headmaster. I will stop by at lunch to see if anything has turned up," McGonagall said. She picked up her valise. With a wicked grin she pulled out a magazine and left it on the low coffee table.

"Teen Witch?" Dumbledore asked skeptically.

"It's Severus' to deal with," she said mischievously. Straightening her robes McGonagall walked out the door.

Snape slept deeply not waking until lunch. Jeffrey had come to check on him and was very pleased he had slept through the morning. The compulsions that drove the Potions Master to wake every hour or so were slowly being reduced and hopefully would be eliminated.

When Snape woke he again was faced with the strange sight of another adult reading "Teen Witch". This time it was the Healer. The ill wizard regarded Barnes sleepily as the Healer read the adolescent magazine with great interest.

"Any good acne cures?" Snape asked quietly. Startled, the Healer stared at his patient before guiltily tossing the magazine on the coffee table.

"Hello, Severus. How are you feeling?" Barnes asked, deciding not to comment on his reading material. It seemed the safest thing to do.

"Mmmm, a little spacey," Snape reported. "Could I shower?" he asked. He wanted to clean himself without any help if possible. Barnes smiled.

"Sure. Let's get everything ready and you can shower without an audience if you'd like," Barnes said.

When Barnes came out of the washroom (leaving the door slightly ajar) he found two professors seated near the Headmaster's desk along with a student.

"Jeffrey, you need to hear this," Dumbledore called. "Harry? Would you please repeat what you've told us?"

*Potter. Why was he up here?* Barnes mused for a moment then he glanced at the desk top. And the gold galleon.

*shit!* the healer cursed internally. He pulled out his wand and threw a quick silencing charm at the washroom door before sitting down next to Professors McGonagall and Lupin.

"I was out day before yesterday with some friends. We were playing quidditch before dinner. I saw the glint of gold on the ground and picked the coin up without thinking," Harry reported miserably. "Ron and I kind of wrestled over it, but I don't think he actually touched the coin."

"You've kept it with you?" Barnes asked quickly.

"Yes. I didn't think to turn it in,¸ it's just a galleon. I figured it fell out of someone's pocket. 'Finder's keepers' and all that," Harry squirmed uncomfortably. "I've had it in my pocket since. No one else has touched it. I, I was going to give it to Ron for Saturday," Harry finished, referring to the pending Hogsmeade trip.

"It's a good thing you did not," Dumbledore said quietly. "We don't know if it's cursed or not."

"Someone may have dropped it," Lupin allowed. "No one reported loosing a galleon."

Everyone silently looked at the coin.

"Should we have Professor Snape perform the counter curse?" Lupin asked tentatively. This caused more uncomfortable glances.

"We don't know if it's cursed," McGonagall started.

"Professor Snape is very weak," Barnes put i!n. "I'd hate for him to expend all that energy if it turns out just to be a plain coin."

"Can we find out if it is cursed?" Harry asked. He felt rather queasy, mostly because he skipped breakfast to study for a quiz. The idea of being hexed and the idea of being cured by Professor Snape rested uneasily in his mind. He didn't want to be sick, but he also didn't want Snape to be drained. He still remembered how sick and still the Potions Master had been when he saw him near the forest several nights back.

Dumbledore removed his glasses and rubbed his hands over his tired eyes. "We can't be sure unless we wait a few days to see if you become ill. Even then we couldn't be sure since you might just have a cold. Being worried about being sick can sometimes make a person feel sick," the Headmaster said.

"Professor Snape is the only one who knows the cure?" Lupin asked looking hopefully at Barnes.

"He's taught me the incantation, but I need to see and feel it being done to get it right. Some spells need to be taught hands-on and this is one of them," the Healer replied.

"Then, I guess we wait," Harry murmured.

"I ask that none of you mention this to Severus, ah, Professor Snape," said Barnes. "I don't want him to have that worry on top of everything else. If you get sick, Harry, then we'll talk with the Professor and perform the spell."

Harry nodded, followed by McGonagall and Lupin.

"You're sure about that, Jeffrey?" Dumbledore asked cautiously.

"Yes. The situation won't change in the next several days whether we tell him or not. If we don't, however, he'll rest better," Barnes replied.

"Then we wait," Dumbledore decided. ""Harry? Let Dr. Barnes do a quick scan and then you can get some lunch," Dumbledore suggested. The Healer ran his hands over the student's head and chest before smiling and releasing him.

"Healthy as a centaur!" Barnes reported, grinning. With an answering smile Harry left for lunch. The Headmaster removed the coin carefully and placed it with the others on the mantel. As he moved back to the professors and Healer, Snape came out of the washroom.

*he's too thin; I can count his ribs from here* Lupin thought, watching the long line of the ill wizard's torso showing from the deep green bathrobe. He was busily toweling his hair as he walked out. Lowering the towel Snape noticed the gathering staring at him. He quickly slipped into the bedroom away from the prying eyes.

"He's looking better," McGonagall offered as the four adults looked back at one another.

"Yes, Severus is much better. Just needs to eat and continue to heal," Barnes said brightly. The Healer had plans for the afternoon hours for a little emotional healing while Snape was awake.

"Well, we best be off to lunch, Remus," McGonagall said with a sigh. With a nod, Lupin pushed up and opened the door for the witch. Jeffrey glanced over at Dumbledore.

"What do you have planned for this afternoon, Albus?" the Healer asked in his most "innocent" tones. The Headmaster regarded the younger wizard suspiciously.

"Nothing pressing," he hedged warily.

"Good, I want to work a little with Severus and you figure prominently in the proceedings," Barnes said with a broad smile that did nothing to reassure the Headmaster. Dumbledore sighed. He had a bad feeling about this...

That 'bad feeling' was a fair bit of divining. Barnes had gone into the bedroom and enticed Snape out for lunch. The enticement was an easy job as the Healer had ordered his favorite: tinned peaches and stewed chicken with dumplings. The Healer proceeded to stuff the poor wizard with the heavy lunch before giving him his afternoon potions soothe his jittery nerves. The long muscles, when the potions wore off, still twitched mercilessly causing minor discomfort for the most part although sometimes the firing nerve endings caused muscles to clench hard causing undoubtedly worse pain.

Drowsy from the food, but still awake, Snape was gently settled onto the couch next to Dumbledore while Barnes pulled a chair opposite the Potions Master, so close their knees brushed lightly. The Headmaster's sense of dread increased tenfold as he watch the Healer lean forward with a slightly predatory smile. Snape, in his lethargy, smiled trustingly back.

Barnes eased the Potions Master in with innocuous questions: How was he feeling? Was his mind clearing? Did his muscles feel better? Then the "real" question came: Did he want to discuss going to Voldemort?

Barnes could not have gotten a more distressed look from Snape had he struck him. The Healer leaned forward and captured the trembling hands. Snape's body language screamed flight. But he was trapped between his two friends. The Headmaster and the Healer watched as the Snape slowly withdrew into himself, emotional doors slamming shut in succession.

"We really should talk about what happened, Severus," Barnes prompted with gentle warmth, pulsing the frightened wizard. He managed to catch Snape's haunted eyes and brushed a warming hand over the stony face. He glanced quickly at the Headmaster and the older wizard knew his part.

"Severus, I am so very sorry," Dumbledore began humbly, moving a little closer to his friend. It was apparent the friend wanted to leave but could not, anchored by the Healer. Dumbledore himself tried desperately not to project his own shame. Reaching out he smoothed back Snape's long hair which needed brushing. Unbidden, McGonagall's disapproving look flashed in his mine. The Headmaster felt guilty, he should have taken care of this simple need.

Slowly the Potions Master leaned into the wanted touch. Trembling now seized his entire body. He loved the Headmaster, he wanted to be loved in return.

"Severus, I should have never put Sirius' word above yours. I knew better. I've always been able to trust you. You've never lied to me," fingers continued to stray over the trembling man's face and shoulders.

"You, you had to do what you thought best," Snape managed to get out. Barnes upped the energy to soothe the distraught man. He needed to face this, but he needed to know he was not alone.

"Child, I did not. I did not do what I thought best," Dumbledore swallowed convulsively. It was so hard to face his own cruelty. "I was stupid. I chose Black only because I wanted desperately to have back my memories. Memories that weren't real. Good times that never really existed because those times hurt you, too," Dumbledore did not know how he got that out without breaking. But it needed saying. He needed to face his own part in his friend's breakdown.

"Those pranks weren't funny twenty years ago and they weren't funny a week ago. I was blind, refusing to listen to you. I don't know how you can possibly forgive me!" the Headmaster exclaimed, finally turning away, his face twisting with grief. He'd lost his best friend. Snape would never trust him again after being so shattered.

*ME! I did this, not Voldemort, not Sirius. I destroyed the one person who's stood by me through all the blackest times these past twenty-five years. The one person who'd give his very life if I asked. Who did give his life away.*

"I, I didn't know what to do, when you sent me away. I couldn't go to Jeffrey. He couldn't stop the summons and he'd just get mad. I don't want people mad at me," Snape words tumbled out and surprised the Healer.

"Me? Why would I be mad at you?" Barnes asked quickly.

"Because I wouldn't do what you said I should do. I wouldn't face Albus. I just wanted everything to just go away. I wanted to hide in my dungeons," Snape hung his face so that the hair shielded him. Both wizard and Healer stared at Snape. They were only beginning to understand how completely trapped the ailing wizard had felt. Dumbledore carefully put his arm around his friend's shoulders.

"But you couldn't just hide in your dungeons," Barnes finally eked out, his voice tight with remorse.

"I just, just wanted to disappear. I couldn't do anything, I couldn't even get killed," Snape attempted to curl up and pull away but neither wizard would let go. " I came back from Voldemort and L-Lucius and tried to go deeper in the forest, but I couldn't. My body betrayed me. Firenze nearly tripped over me in the dirt," Snape mourned his inability to run away.

"You can't leave, Severus. I need my best friend," Dumbledore's voice quavered.

"I never thought I needed to forgive you. I know that you love me, Albus. It just hurt so much when you told me to go, to take care of the summons myself. I didn't know what to do," the wizard said, voice breaking in distress. "I went outside towards Hogsmeade, but I couldn't go there either." Snape's voice dropped to a whisper and both the Healer and Headmaster leaned close struggling to catch his words.

"I am so damned worthless. can't do anything for the cause, I can't teach, I can't ..." Snape's now sobbing lament was interrupted by both Barnes' surge of warmth and Dumbledore's gathering him up in his arms.

"Oh, child, I love you. I love you for you! You don't have to do anything to prove your worth. You are a wonderful person, I don't want you to do anything but be Severus," Dumbledore pulled him tighter against him, feeling Snape's thin body shaking. The Headmaster's voice lowered, to a husky whisper, breathing into the tangled black hair.

"Just be Severus." His voice broke as tears fell. "I was terrified I'd lost you, child. My heart stopped when I realized you'd gone back because of me. When I saw you on Firenze's back I knew I could never forgive myself for driving you away!" Snape suddenly leaned all his weight against Dumbledore as he wrenched a hand free from the Healer to clutch the older wizard's robes. The Headmaster was trembling now, driven by need to finish.

"You've always, always tried to do what I've asked you. You never refuse even if you don't want to do something. You are the most wonderful person, Severus Snape, and I love you so much!" Dumbledore's words burst out with such force that Snape pulled back slightly in amazement to look at the Headmaster. With a shaky hand the Potions Master touched the tears streaking his friend's face looking both stunned and amazed.

"Albus, you're crying!" Snape murmured incredulously.

"I can't help it. I'm crying because I've hurt you terribly child. I've lost my best friend," the Headmaster managed to get out. All the denial, all the horrible things he'd put his child through tore his heart again.

"But I'm not lost now, Albus, I'm right where I belong," Snape managed to get his other hand free and grab the Headmaster in a strong embrace, hiding his own teary face in his friend's beard.

"Can you forgive me, Severus," Dumbledore asked again, needed to hear the words of absolution.

"Albus, I forgive you," Snape affirmed. Dumbledore finally rested his head against the younger wizard letting the tears fall. They remained entangled, both crying, while Barnes pulled back.

The Healer, of course, was pleased his patient was finally on the mend. He'd get back to tending to his patient, back to pulsing nerves.

Once he stopped crying himself.


	39. A Promise to be Better 39

A Promise to be Better 39

Author: Raven Dancer

disclaimer: All characters belong to J.K. Rowling except for the Drs. Barnes, Beryl and Gibbons. I receive no monetary compensation for these works.

Summary: Healings

Harry Potter woke late. He'd missed breakfast, that was for certain. He felt tired, achy, and longed to curl up under the covers and sleep through the morning. Why not? He'd taken his tests. Winter break was a week away. Turning over, the student drifted back into twisted dreams that repeated, getting more and more bizarre.

But Harry's attempt to ditch classes and sleep was soon disrupted by a rather cold, wet nose and dog's breath. Ewwww! His stomach roiled and it took great effort not to spew out the little liquid in there.

"Ger off me, Snuffles," he moaned, shoving his doggy Godfather away. The dog nudged in closer, licking the reluctant youth fully in the face.

"Look, Snuffles, I don't feel well. I just want to sleep a bit and see if it doesn't go away," Harry protested. Wresting his pillow away from the animagus he closed his eyes again. The dog barked once, then dashed across the room slamming the door shut before transforming and shoving a chair under the knob.

"Harry, you're late for class!" Black scolded, moving over to the bed.

"I took my tests last week," Harry complained, squirming on his stomach trying to get comfortable. He didn't bother to turn over, not wanting to chance the motion. "It's a skate week. Flitwick was going to teach us how to put faerie lights on trees. Why would I need to know that?"

"Skate or not you're supposed to at least eat breakfast and make the attempt," Black said trying to take away Harry's pillow. His hand brushed over the youth's neck.

"You're burning up, Harry! How long have you been sick?" the animagus said in alarm. Black now sat on the bed and moved his Godson over onto his back to get a better look. Harry was very pale, his skin hot and he was shivering even under a heavy quilt ¿and blanket. He was not pleased being moved.

"Not too long. Just this morning, I think," Harry managed.

"Well, you need to go to Madame Pomfrey," Black asserted.

"Can't I just sleep it off?" the boy whined.

"Now, Harry. NOW!" Black tried to tug him up, but his Godson just rolled into the quilts and refused to budge. Very worried, Black quickly decided he needed help. Transforming, he knocked the chair away and raced down stairs and hallways to the DADA classroom and Lupin.

The large black dog burst into the Lupin's classroom, barked and ran to his friend. Snuffles chuffed and whined then finally grabbed some of the Professor's robes in his teeth. He tugged on his robes. Lupin looked at the crazy beast and then up at his class of third years.

"Well, Professor Lupin, I think he means for you to follow," said one of the Hufflepuff students.

"I really can't just go," Lupin protested. "I have classes Snuffles!" But the dog would not let up and finally, in exasperation, the Professor had to dismiss the class.

"I'll post your homework this evening and expect you to have it completed when you return after break!" Lupin said sternly, effectively curbing the impromptu revelry that threatened to spill out of his class. In actuality he only wanted them to choose a creature and write up a parchment on them. But he made it sound much worse.

*When did I turn into a bloody grinch?* he berated himself, allowing Snuffles to drag him through corridors. Black was ruining his robes but Lupin could not get him to release them until they reached the portrait of the Fat Lady.

"Something the matter with Harry?" he guessed aloud and the animagus barked sharply in confirmation. Together they ran up the stairs to the fifth year tower room and went in. Snuffles remained at the door while Lupin crossed to the youth.

"Harry?" Lupin called softly. He was answered with a low groan and two dull eyes. Oohh, this did not look good, this looked like what he'd felt before Snape had cured him. He wondered if Harry was having weird dreams but quickly pushed that thought aside.

"Remus?" Harry managed. The DADA professor quickly ran his hands over the student's face and neck. Definitely sick. Very sick. Lupin glanced over at Black. He had 'neglected' to tell the animagus about the coin.

"How long have you been sick?" Lupin asked quietly.

"Two days. I thought I'd wait and see," Harry trailed off, uncomfortable about being ill. Why had he been so stupid to pick up that coin? He had felt sick the moment he'd heard the announcement in Defense against Dark Arts class. , It had clung to him from the beginning, slowly building to nausea, then fever.

"Well, let's get you to Madame Pomfrey," Lupin said gently and began to get Harry ready to move.

"Did you tell?" Harry motioned with his eyes to his Godfather across the room.

"No, I didn't. Not yet," the professor admitted grudgingly in a low voice. How would Black react? Best get to the hospital wing and let him find out when the Headmaster came down.

Winky delivered the note requesting the Headmaster in the hospital wing. Dumbledore wondered briefly if Harry had become ill, but decided that if that student had, Lupin would have brought him directly to the office.

*Must have been some accident, then. What was the DADA class covering this week?* the Headmaster mulled over the possibilities as he got his light cloak. It was cool in the corridors with only the rooms being heated during the winter. He walked over to the couch.

Professor Snape was snugged under a tartan throw. His hair was brushed and neatly pulled into a single tail. His face was finally relaxed, the haunted, frightened look no longer clinging, even in sleep. Happily, the Potions Master had only had one horrendous nightmare the night before and even that had been easily taken care of with soft words and gentle touch.

In the three days since their rather tearful session with Dr. Barnes Snape had finally been able to fully rest. He still flinched when people came near, but did not bolt. He even accepted Dumbledore's and the Healers' touch without complaint. The potions had been working their own magic; muscles no longer twitched or spasmed.

McGonagall had even gotten into the spirit of helping the Potions Master by bringing up a potion she, herself, had brewed for his hair. The tonic cleansed the grease leaving his hair soft and untangled. It certainly made it easier to manage. There had been some joke about "Teen Witch" magazine being a useful reference source. Dumbledore was still working that one out.

"Severus?" the Headmaster waited for eyes to open. Drowsy, but amused about being caught asleep on the couch. The spark was back; Dumbledore had worried he'd never again see that brightness denoting his friend's sharp wit and mischievous streak.

"Hullo, Albus," Snape replied with a small smile, stretching decadently. No pain. No hitches. It felt gooood to really stretch at last.

"I am going down to the hospital wing; a student of Remus' has been hurt or taken ill. I want you to stay here," Dumbledore patted Snape's shoulder. Although the wizard was much better he needed reassurance and specific direction because the potions left him a little befuddled.

"Remember, stay here unless Jeffrey or I come and get you. I don't want you out of these rooms!" the Headmaster insisted, waiting for a coherent response. Snape blinked sleepily.

"Sure, Albus. I'll stay right here until you or Jeffrey come back," Snape said, bemused. He squirmed under the blanket happily. Staying right on the couch in the Headmaster's rooms was fine by him.

Dumbledore watched his friend settle back down content to drowse in the warmth. The older wizard was very pleased they'd been forced to confront the problems between them. He paused a moment to allow himself this pleasure: watching his child for a moment. Then he turned and left for the hospital wing.

Harry was finally sweating as he lay wrapped in a thin cotton blanket on the hospital bed. Pomfrey had treated him for fever first, then the nausea. When the Headmaster came in Lupin was trying to get some cool water into the sick youth.

"Remus?" Dumbledore queried, noting the large black dog near the bedside.

"Snuffles found him this morning. He seems to be quite ill," Lupin offered.

"It looks like a very bad case of the flu, Headmaster," Madame Pomfrey reported. "I haven't had a case this season; it seems a bit strange that Harry'd be so sick this quickly."

"Unfortunately, it isn't strange," Dumbledore lamented. He quickly outlined the situation with the coin Harry had picked up several days prior. Madame Pomfrey sat down on the adjacent bed.

"I can't cure that!" she exclaimed.

"It's ok, Poppy. Professor Snape knows the counter-curse," the Headmaster assured her.

"Professor Snape is still very weak, Albus," the witch commented. "Are you sure he's up to it?" She worried that the Potions Master would be too weak to actually heal Harry. Pomfrey then berated herself for not thinking of Snape first. The poor wizard had been tortured, for Ptolemy's sake

"He'll have to be, he's the only one who knows the counter-curse. I'll send for Dr. Barnes. He will want to help," Dumbledore explained, looking over at Snuffles. The large dog had his hackles up, his entire body was showing how angry he was.

"Now, Snuffles," Lupin said soothingly, "Harry will be just fine."

*Not if Snape has his way! He hates Harry,* the animagus growled to himself. *I will make damn sure the git comes down here and performs that counter-curse even if I have to drag him! I don't care if I am discovered!* he sidled up to his Godson and nuzzled his hand briefly. He sat patiently waiting until both Lupin and Dumbledore were engaged in conversation with Pomfrey, writing down the symptoms to send to Barnes. Keeping his eyes on them, the animagus slowly eased out of the room.

Being lifted by an angry man was not an ideal way to wake up. It took awhile for said angry man's words to filter in and make sense. Snape stared dully at Black wondering what in the Seven Hells was going on.

"For Merlin's sake Snape, what wrong with you?" Black roared, shaking the Potions Master. "Don't you understand anything I'm saying? Harry's been cursed and you're going to cure him! NOW, MOVE IT!." Blearily, Snape stared at the animagus.

"Cursed? Who's curse Harry? Where's Jeffrey?" the confused wizard asked.

"He picked up a galleon that'd been hexed. I used the computer thing to send for that healer, Barnes, at the clinic," Black rumbled, still holding Snape upright. *Stupid idiot can't even stand on his own,* he thought to himself.

"Galleon?" Snape was beginning to connect the dots. "It's gold. He found it outside?"

"Yessss!" hissed Black impatiently. "He found it and he's sick. MOVE!" and he shoved the Potions Master forward. The wizard promptly stumbled and fell into a heap. Between the Healer's potions and the ongoing fatigue, Snape had no energy to simply get up and go.

"Can't go. Promised Albus I'd stay," Snape muttered, starting to drag himself back to the couch. Furious, Black finally lashed out, kicking the downed man viscously in the thigh.

"Damn you Snape! You will go and take care of Harry NOW. Where the hell do you think the old man is? He's with Harry," Black snarled, bending, he yanked the shivering wizard up again and stood him on his feet.

"Can't leave. I promised Albus. Can't leave," Snape repeated, eyes slightly glazed.

"I don't care what you promised! You damned death eater! You will go now!" Black snarled. Snape shook his head and was rewarded with a hard, open-handed slap. The pain cleared some of the muzziness and Snape glared at the animagus.

"What is your problem, Black?" the cold, tight voice increased the animagus's anger.

"My problem? My problem? You, YOU are the problem! Always sneaking around where you're not wanted. You sit up here wasting Albus Dumbledore's time! You abuse the students and are the ugliest, most unpleasant bastard I've ever had the misfortune to be around," with a hard shove he sent Snape reeling back onto the couch.

*gods, I'm in deep,* Snape thought, looking up at the raging man.

"I don't know why Dumbledore persists in keeping you here. You are a disgrace and an embarrassment to the school. A known death eater! You disgusting piece of FILTH! To think you've been around my Godson these past five years making his life a living hell!" Black continued to verbally blast Snape. Another fully enraged slap caught the ill wizard full on the left side of the face, slamming him onto his side.

*Ok, that last bit has some merit," Snape thought to himself with a mental wince. *But Albus loves me,* he reassured himself. Suddenly he was being pulled upwards again, this time by his hair.

"I will not go anywhere," Snape hissed angrily, unable to defend himself. "I will not leave until Albus comes."

"Damn you, you will!" Black asserted angrily then picked the wizard up bodily and attempted to carry him. Snape struggled, shoving back as hard as he could (which at the moment wasn't very hard). A bitter, taunting laugh erupted from the animagus.

"Is that all you've got, you fucking bastard? Here, let me show you how a real man fights!" and Black swung Snape up once more by his tied back hair and slammed his fist into the wizard's jaw. A second blow landed squarely in the Potions Master's stomach, harshly expelling the air from Snape's lungs as he dropped like a stone to the floor.

"NOW YOU ARE GOING TO FIX HARRY!" Black screamed, pulling Snape up yet again and throwing the crumpled man over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes. As he started to step toward the door it flew open and the Headmaster fiercely strode in. The hard blue eyes moved from the animagus to the precious burden callously tossed over0 his shoulder.

"SIRIUS BLACK, PUT SEVERUS DOWN!" Dumbledore roared.

"Down? You want him down?" Black snarled, too caught up in his own rage to take full notice of the Headmaster's wrath. He hurled Snape as hard as he could, face down. The limp body struck the coffee table with a sickening *thud*, breaking the table with a resounding crack. Still enraged, the animagus pulled his fist back in the air to strike yet another blow. "Worthless piece of..." Black never had a chance to finish.

Later, Lupin said the feeling of summative power was overwhelming, that Albus Dumbledore radiated, his eyes full of fury and fire. There was no wand, there was no time for a wand. Only time to react, to save his own.

"LEAVE MY CHILD ALONE!" Dumbledore thundered, his voice shaking the entire room. With a sweep of his arm the Headmaster sent Black flying across the room over Snape and the coffee table. The animagus continued in air until he slammed into the bookcase, crashing hard enough to knock shelves off. Books and brick-a-brack exploded littering the floor and the now unconscious Black with debris.

Lupin blinked and there was the Headmaster, on his knees, gently touching Snape's body draped over the smashed table. The DADA professor swore he never saw Dumbledore walk over there. He was just there.

"Severus? Severus?" the quaver in the older wizard's voice was pronounced. "Child, oh my child! What has he done to you?" Dumbledore lowered his head against the fallen man's shoulder trying to contain his fear and anger.

"I think I broke your table, Albus," came the weak reply.

"Severus?" the Headmaster asked, inUcredulous.

"Hmmmm?" was all the answer he received. Lupin had by this point rounded the table and knelt next to Dumbledore.

"What hurts, child? Can you move?" the older wizard asked quickly. It was a difficult question to answer. Snape reflected behind eyes squeezed shut.

"Everything," the fallen wizard finally answered. As for the part about moving, Snape tried ineffectively to push up, recollapsing on the shattered wooden slab.

"My gods, Albus! What happened?"

Jeffrey Barnes moved quickly through the door followed by his father. He swiftly slipped down next to his patient, opposite Lupin and Dumbledore. Putting his hands immediately on Snape's back he began scanning for internal injuries.

"We received a strange message regarding Harry," James said as he moved further in. He looked across the room and noted the litmp body of Black on the floor partially covered with books, paper and shattered knick-knacks. The older healer moved over to the animagus and began scanning the fallen man.

"Doesn't seem to have broken anything. No internal bleeding," Jeffrey said, then retracted the statement. "Wait a moment."

Two sets of eyes locked on the younger Healer as he concentrated on his patient. James Barnes glanced up from tending to Black.

"Jeffy?" he inquired carefully.

"Just a swelling," Jeffrey said dismissively. He remained completely focused on his healing. A long moment passed before the younger Barnes relaxed slightly. "Let's see about moving you somewhere more comfortable, Severus."

"It's ok, I like it here," Snape said quickly. He'd hug the table to show how much he liked it if he could. Just thinking about moving hurt. Jeffrey simply sent a stream of energy in, releasing some endorphins and waiting until his patient's breathing evened out slightly. Then the Potions Master was carefully levitated, turned face up, and placed on the lounge.

Dumbledore moved with his friend, pulling a chair as close as possible. Lupin stood, stepping behind the Headmaster. The DADA professor put a gentle hand on the older wizard's shoulder offering comfort.

"gods," the Headmaster murmured, ghosting a hand over the bruise blossoming on Snape's jaw. Lupin surreptitiously moved his other hand to the opposite shoulder and squeezed soothingly.

The young Healer busied himself unclothing his patient and probing gently all the tender spots. The Potions Master whimpered as Barnes continued, thoroughly prodding a very sore stomach. There was lots of soft tissue damage, but no unusual swellings to be found in the abdomen. Some abrasions on the chest from the destroyed coffee table needed tending.

The hurt wizard tried to push the inquisitive hands away, the additional pain now causing tears to pool then stream slowly down his cheeks. Dumbledore carefully caught both of the struggling Snape's hands, soothing them with his own. Blinking, the prone wizard looked up at his friend, his savior. He sighed in relief.

"What happened to Harry?" Snape managed. Although nothing was actually broken, his stomach ached, his jaw and leg throbbed. Some remnants of the coffee table seemed lodged in his skin near his left shoulder. The Healer tugged them out and quickly soothed the area when his patient jerked.

"He's been hexed, Severus. We knew he'd picked up a stray coin earlier this week and carried it around for two days. We just didn't know if it was cursed or not," Dumbledore explained softly.

"How long? What are the symptoms?" the ill wizard pursued. Jeffrey clucked over the huge bruise rising on the right upper thigh and began to palpitate it fully. Snape drew in a sharp, shuddering breath.

"Less than a week. He's been queasy for a couple days though. Last night his illness escalated: high fever, nausea, dehydration, diarrhea. Very sick," Lupin filled Snape in.

"You have to help him Snape!" Black's voice cut in. The animagus had regained consciousness and was now sitting up as Dr. James finished his examination. Snape could hear the desperation and absolute fear in his enemy's voice.

"Of course I'm going to help him, Black. I'm not the heartless bastard you've come to scorn and hate." Snape said gritting his teeth as Barnes discovered another spot to torture.

"You are not doing anything until I've checked you out fully," Jeffrey said with a protective growl. The healer continued to scan, poking, fixing small hurts. A third set of hands touched the Potions Master's face and shoulders as James began to assist his son.

Snape moaned in relief as the second Healer's stream began filling his aching body with warmth. Jeffrey had not been able to relieve the continuous pain while he patched up the "minor" problems he discovered as he moved over his patient's body. The concentrated teamwork overwhelmed the injured wizard and he slipped into unconsciousness.

"Sirius will be fine," Dr. James said in a clipped tone. "Scrapes, wrenched back. Couple days rest and a hot bath or two." Jeffrey nodded indifferently. He was lost in Snape and could care less about anything else, especially the animagus.

Black skirted around the scene trembling. He'd lost it. He'd lost everything. He'd blown up and nearly killed the only person who could save his Harry. What had he been thinking? Well, that was part of the problem right there, wasn't it? His head was spinning, but not from hitting the bookcase.

Dumbledore ignored him. Lupin turned his eyes away, ashamed. Black was too shaken to transform and sat in a chair at the table, letting his head sink down into his arms. His back ached and he his head throbbed. James Barnes spared him a glance but did not go to him. There was nothing that required immediate attention and the Healer felt the pain would be quite enlightening.


	40. A Promise to be Better 40

A Promise to be Better 40

Author: Raven Dancer

disclaimer: All characters belong to J.K. Rowling except for the Drs. Barnes, Beryl and Gibbons. I receive no monetary compensation for these works.

Summary: Healings too.

Snape drifted on the warmth, drowsing. He felt like he'd curled up in the sunshine, the tingling light had blanketed him and he stretched very slightly. No pain. He'd hurt before, he was sure of that. But not now.

Voices meandered into his consciousness. Snape concentrated and recognized Jeffrey and Dr. James. As he floated he wondered where he was. He had been on Albus' couch. The Potions Master let his right eye slit open.

Now he was in Albus' bed under soft flannel sheets. Someone had taken his clothing again. It had happened all too often of late and he fleetingly thought about being upset. The indignity of it all! But it hurt to hold onto the annoyance and he let it slip away.

Turning his attention back to the Healers, he realized that there was another voice. Albus. Snape's lips curved into a small smile of happiness. Albus came. Albus saved him. Albus threw Black across the room for being bad.

Albus loved him. He was loved.

That thought sustained him for several minutes until he felt hands on him. Rather 'friendly' hands, at that. His eyes flew open.

How in the name of all things sacred did he get into the bathtub?

"Well, Severus, nice of you to join us," Dr. James' amused voice positively sparkled. He continued to run a soapy cloth over the thin torso.

"You get to eat next, need to get some weight on you!" a second voice intoned. Shifting his gaze Snape saw Jeffrey, also with a washcloth working on his legs.

"I thought I was well enough to bathe myself, Barnes," Snape tried to growl. It was a pathetic little mewling noise and Dr. James shifted, putting a hand on the wet wizard's shoulder to send in a stream of energy. With a small moan Snape's eyes closed.

"Now I know where Jeffrey gets his mean streak! James! Severus has been out for nearly five hours and you've put him back asleep!" Dumbledore groused, but he was smiling.

"I'm not asleep. I was just resting my eyes," Snape tried hissing this time with disastrous results. Everyone laughed at him. The Potions Master thought it was a rather loud outburst and managed to open his eyes again. He could vaguely make out the Healers and then two more human shapes beyond.

"What am I, the floor show?" Snape complained, dropping any attempt to sound intimidating. Sounds of movement caught his

attention, but he couldn't see beyond the Healers clearly.

"Just relax, Severus," Dr. James cajoled. "We want to make you more comfortable." Rumbling softly Snape allowed them to continue to wash him. It did feel good, the warmth and the embrace of the water. The herbs they dropped in the water created a lovely fragrance. He sighed wondering if he'd smell of lavender and sage when he was dry.

The Potions Master drifted again, letting them take care of him. He was rinsed, dried and salve was rubbed gently into all his hurts. Then his nose began twitching. Something smelled wonderful. Once more Snape slit his eyes opened and looked around.

"Hullo, child. Would you like some soup?" Dumbledore asked gently. He held a large mug and spoon. Pushing up slowly, Snape looked at the steaming liquid, very interested. He nodded happily as he managed to sit up against the pillows. The Headmaster was pleased his friend was hungry again: he'd gone for weeks with no appetite to speak of.

Movement in the bed next to him drew his attention. Snape glanced down and noticed Jeffrey sleeping beside him. The Healer looked peaceful enough. Barnes had been very busy between poking and prodding him ceaselessly, healing him with his energy, and then scrubbing him down. Probably dried and dressed him, too. Healing took a lot of energy; and the exhaustion on the young man's face meant the Potions Master must have been pretty hurt earlier.

Earlier. Hmmmm. What had happened? He was doing so much better but he had been hurt. That's right. Jeffrey: had been healing him; he'd had cuts and wood splinters. Snape's hand ghosted over his shoulder as the pain was recalled.

Noodle soup. Chicken. *sigh* The savory aroma filled his nose and distracted him for a moment. Snape accepted another mouthful. He rolled the soft noodles on his tongue trying to concentrate. How did he get splinters? Oh, yes, he'd fallen on the coffee table and shattered it. Not fallen. He'd been thrown.

Dumbledore noticed Snape's eyes widen significantly as they rose to meet his. The Potions Master was searching for something.

"Child?" he prompted. Something was brewing.

"You threw him," Snape murmured.

"Threw who?" the Headmaster asked, slightly confused.

"You threw Black across the room. Away from me," Snape searched those clear blue eyes for understanding. Dumbledore smiled slightly and raised the spoon to the ill wizard's lips.

"He was hurting you, Severus. No one is going to hurt my child," the Headmaster said firmly, a flash of fire in his eyes. Snape blinked, processing the information.

"Your child?" he barely said aloud.

"My child," Dumbledore affirmed, wiping away soup that had dripped down Snape's chin. Dark eyes went soft.

"I never knew," he said shyly. "I never thought,"

"What, child?" the Headmaster pursued.

"I never thought I was worth it," Snape's eyes dropped, uncertain, and Dumbledore reached out, taking his chin firmly, raising his friend's eyes back to him.

"You are worth all the stars and planets in the heavens to me. You are my greatest pride and joy. You could not mean more to me even if you were really my flesh and blood. You are my child. Mine. Never forget that" Dumbledore said with such sincerity that tears suddenly threatened to spill out of Snape's eyes. The Headmaster's eyes reflected the light, sparkling with unspilt tears of his own.

Snape savored the acceptance, letting the wonder and warmth fill him. No one had ever really wanted him. Even his parents hadn't claimed him. He was just a major annoyance most of the time. As they sat there, Snape went on remembering the earlier part of the day. The Headmaster had saved him, Jeffrey and James had worked on him. Why had Black bothered him in the first place?

Eyes narrowed as Snape mentally reconstructed the conversation. Suddenly the Potions Master jerked up, would have catapulted off the bed if it weren't for Dumbledore. Soup was knocked aside and landed on the sle7eping healer. Dumbledore quickly sent a cooling charm, although the liquid had not been that hot.

"HARRY!" Snape yelled, frightened at the thought of the student being cursed.

"UGH!" Jeffrey slowly sat up shaking off broth and noodles. There was a slimy feel as noodles and broth slipped down the neck of his sleep shirt. The Healer found a clean corner of sheet and started to wipe off his face. This definitely was not a pleasant way to wake up!

"Harry. Harry's been cursed. I need to go take the curse off," Snape babbled, agitated, as Dumbledore tried to soothe him. Pulling noodles off his face and flicking them on the blanket, Barnes turned to his patient.

"Severus! Calm down!" the Healer put a wet hand on the Potions Master's face, trying to gain his attention. Snape weakly struggled a moment more before falling back against the pillows. He whimpered, messy and trapped. Battling both the child within who wanted to flee and the real fear building inside his stomach the ill wizard strived to remain calm. He was not convincing.

"I have to go to him," Snape whispered brokenly.

"NO," Barnes and Dumbledore started at the same time, making eye contact with one another. Startled, Snape wrapped his arms tightly around his torso and began to rock slightly. Both wizards leaned forward to comfort, causing their patient to flinch and try to slide away. The Headmaster nodded and Barnes continued.

"Harry is in the hospital wing. We've got him stabilized for now. You need to rest first. Tomorrow will be soon enough," Barnes told the ill wizard as he began sending more soothing energy.

"But he's dying," Snape insisted desperately, managing to stay in the here and now.

"He's resting, Severus. Dr. James went down and took care of him. He'll be just fine until tomorrow. He's asleep. You should be asleep, too," the Healer said firmly.

"You need to eat more, then sleep," Dumbledore added.

"But," Snape whispered.

"No buts, child," Dumbledore smoothed Snape's hair back.

Jeffrey squished off to the washroom while the Headmaster assisted his friend. Dobby and Beryl stripped the bed putting on clean sheets and blankets.

More food was brought up from the kitchen as they settled Snape at the table. Soon more warm chicken soup, as well as bread, was being consumed. Although the Potions Master worked at it, he still needed help to get the soup in without another disaster. The bread was fine.

"I was doing so much better," Snape lamented as the spoon clattered and dropped. At this rate they'd never let him help Harry. They'd just keep him locked up in the tower while the youth got sicker.

"You will do better after you've slept more. Jeffrey and James worked very hard to heal your injuries," Dumbledore said calmly. He picked up the spoon and offered another bite. The washroom door opened and the Healer walked out toweling his hair.

"Well, I no longer smell like the first course," Barnes smirked as he came to the table. He sat next to Snape and snagged a piece of bread from the plate buttering it completely. Dumbledore noticed Snape's eyes never left the bread.

"Severus, why don't you butter your bread?" the Headmaster asked, wondering if Snape realized what was happening. The younger wizard looked slightly confused.

"I, I guess it's just habit," Snape finally managed. His hands fell into his lap and he lowered his head slightly. This defeated motion got Barnes' attention.

"More soup, Severus?" Dumbledore offered the spoon again, but the wizard shook his head slightly. Body language was closing off, Barnes noted. He glanced over at the Headmaster but the older wizard hadn't noticed the subtle changes.

"Come on, child, you haven't had enough," Dumbledore cajoled, holding the spoon out. Snape moved his head slightly to the side, wincing. Another emotional land mine. Snape was ready to be struck across the face (or across the room.) Barnes reached over and gently covered the now clenched hands, warming them slightly.

"Severus? Professor? What are you remembering?" Barnes asked softly.

"My parents. My Mother," Snape responded quietly. Now the Headmaster caught on and set the spoon down, moving closer to his friend.

"I wasn't allowed to take from the dishes, I could only eat what was placed on my plate," he continued nearly too soft to hear. "If I tried to take some butter I was punished," the loathing ripped through his voice, "It's too good for the likes of me."

"Sugar, too?" Dumbledore said in his most unpressing tones.

"Sugar, honey, salt, cream, anything on the table in bowls or dishes," Snape sighed. "Sometimes if I'd been particularly bad I would have to sit and watch them eat. Sometimes." Snape swallowed hard. He hated being sick. He hated being so needy. He hated the memories crowding in on him.

"It was so hard, coming to Hogwarts, getting to choose food. Then going back home for the holidays I'd forget and," the wizard stopped talking.

"And you'd be punished," Barnes finished the sentence. He watched his patient pull in more, willing to disappear. "Severus, it's a hard thing, overcoming all the things you were raised to believe. It becomes habit, and habits are hard to break, harder when you can still hear your mother's voice telling you you're no good. Let's try this," and the Healer brought the butter next to Snape's bread plate.

"I'll put some butter on your plate and you can spread it on your bread. When you're feeling better, we will work on your eating behaviours. Right now, let's just concentrate on finishing dinner," the Healer said as he transferred a generous amount of butter onto Snape's plate.

Snape waited a moment then picked up his knife and smeared butter on his bread. A shuddery sigh. Then he continued to eat. For several minutes it was quiet except for the spoon clinking and the bread being munched.

"Can I take care of Harry after I eat?" Snape asked suddenly.

"Not tonight, Severus. You need to sleep, first. I need to sleep, too," said the Healer.

"But he's dying," Snape said in åa small voice. "He's lying there knowing he's dying."

"He's sick, Severus. Dr. James is taking care of him. He will be fine," Dumbledore said firmly.

"Dad and I scanned him, Severus. We treated his symptoms and he's much better. Harry had ignored being ill for a couple days which made it worse," Barnes said, "but it's under control now."

"You don't understand!" Snape protested, clearly distressed. When I helped test that, that hex," Snape was now trembling, "it was just Algie and me. No other death eaters were assigned He'd, he'd used muggles at first. You know, as test experiments. Proved it worked. I was so disgusted, but he'd already done the preliminaries without our knowledge. I still remember the look on Algie's face when he stood in front of Voldemort crowing about his great accomplishment." Shuddering, Snape took a long sip of juice trying to compose himself. It didn't work.

"No one stood to give a report. Not then. Voldemort dropped him with the cruciatus. When he stopped Voldemort asked about the antidote. The idiot was proud there was none. So Voldemort made me pick up the jewelry. It was a death sentence. He told Algie that if I died, he'd be sure Algie would too." Snape's voice had dropped lower.

"Please, I'd like to help Harry now, because I remember waiting to die. I remember getting sicker and sicker while Algie ran about trying to develop a cure. When he finally came up with the counter-curse the energy it required nearly killed him. You see, the sicker Harry becomes the more energy it will require and if we wait I don't know if I will be able to help him," Snape was shaking, looking at Dumbledore with a quiet despair.

"Severus, you will be able to help Harry when the times comes. You will have Dr. James and Jeffrey with you," Dumbledore replied neutrally. Internally, he was actually having trouble with putting his child in such a precarious situation. Performing the counter-curse on a very ill Snape had nearly killed a healthy wizard. What would it do to his child? Still, there was no choice, Snape would have to perform the counter-curse. Dumbledore just wanted Snape to have one good night's sleep before he was physically wiped out again.

"Tomorrow morning? When I wake up? I'll sleep all night," Snape begged shamelessly. Barnes surreptitiously slipped a hand over his patient's shoulder and drew him close. That Snape fell into the comfort of the embrace without protest told the Healer how vulnerable †he was at that moment.

"Tomorrow morning. After you've slept for me, and after you've eaten. And not before 10 am in any event, because my Father and I need to rest, too," Barnes said, pulling his patient into a full hug. "You were so hurt today, Severus. We've been worried about you. We are here for you, Severus. We will be there with you tomorrow. Harry will be just fine. Trust me," he held Snape for a long moment before releasing him to Dumbledore. The Headmaster gathered his friend up and held him close.

"I don't want you to be hurt. I don't want to lose you again," Dumbledore whispered with a slight hitch in his voice.

"I'm only going to help Harry. I'll be ok, just tired," Snape squirmed a little. It was all too new to him: the love, the protection, so many people wanting to comfort him, the need to help Harry. He began to tremble, emotions rising.

The Headmaster became aware of the change in Snape and realized he needed to back off a little.

"Ok, Severus, let's finish up dessert and then you can get back to bed. It's been a wearing day, to be sure," Dumbledore said as he released Snape. As they ate the lemon poppy seed cake, Barnes mixed up another potion for Snape, pouring it into his tea. Within the half-hour, both Healer and patient were once more curled up in bed asleep.


	41. A Promise to be Better 41

A Promise to be Better 41

Author: Raven Dancer

disclaimer: All characters belong to J.K. Rowling except for the Drs. Barnes, Beryl and Gibbons. I receive no monetary compensation for these works.

Summary: De-Hexing Harry

Even with his heightened anxiety, Snape slept until nearly nine the next morning. He pushed up through the the dulling layers of sleep, towards a remembered need then sat bolt upright. He immediately felt hands on him and warmth filling him.

"Harry?" he said weakly.

"Severus, good morning," a calm, deep voice pleasantly burred in his ear. Focusing, the Potions Master found himself leaning against Dr. James.

"Jeffrey is down with Harry right now. I believe Albus is at breakfast in the Great Hall," the older Healer carefully moved his patient more fully against his torso and began scanning. He wasn't too pleased with the anxiety level, nÌor with the low energy Snape was showing. But he knew Harry had to be healed sooner rather than later. The youth was holding his own at the moment and he quietly assured the Potions Master of that fact.

"Harry rested well. He took some juice awhile ago from Remus. I think after you clean up and have a little breakfast yourself we can go downstairs," James continued to feed a thin stream of energy. The Healer carefully insinuated himself inside his patient and began to bond to Snape's subconscious.

"What, what are you doing to me, Dr. James?" Snape moved uneasily against the Healer as he felt something strange happening inside. Both Healer's arms were now encircling Snape and he curled as close as possible. He wanted to melt into the Healer, it felt so impossibly good.

"I am creating a healing bond. I do not want to lose you, Severus, when you perform the counter curse," James pressed his forehead against his patient's, surreptitiously upping the energy.

"You and Jeffrey have healed me before and it never felt like this," Severus moaned softly. The warmth was incredible; the feeling of complete peace nearly overwhelming. His entire body tingled with radiance.

"Because I am not healing you, I am bonding with you. I will be able to hold onto you while you heal Harry. I will guard you, protect you, while you recover after if you need me to. It is different because I'm part of you for a little while. Do you feel me, Severus?" and the Healer smiled, his calm demeanor flowed through their bond and soothed away all of Snape's anxiety.

"Yes, Dr. James. I feel you. It's like how I feel sometimes when Albus smiles at me. When I know he loves me," the Potions Master murmured.

"Albus does love you, Severus. He loves you very much. Jeffrey and I love you, too, but our love is different from Albus'. He loves you like I love Jeffrey," James explained, releasing Snape from the tight hug. The Potions Master tilted back, looking at the Healer carefully.

"Why the bond? I mean, you and Jeffrey could just fill me with energy like you've done before," Snape asked, searching for reactions. James smiled gently, then started to smooth his patient's hair back.

"We could, and it would work. But I am worried about you, Severus. You've been through so much. You've had to relive some horrible parts of your childhood. You've had to endure both Albus' rejection and Lucius' torture. Never mind getting called to Voldemort too many times. I want you to go down to heal Harry knowing we're all behind you. This bond is the very best way for you to know that because the bond goes two ways: I can feel everything you're feeling and you can feel me," Barnes explained and the warmth of acceptance and concern filled Snape. The Potions Master smiled shyly and touched the Healer's cheek.

"I do feel you, right here," Snape murmured, touching his chest near his heart. Then he leaned up against the older man who once more encircled his patient in a loose hug.

"Let's get you up, ready and fed, Severus. Then," James began.

"We can go to Harry," finished Snape.

"Exactly!" Barnes agreed and began to get his patient ready

Dressed in a simple black robe and wrapped in a thick, warm cloak, recently pilfered from the Headmaster's closet, Snape left Dumbledore's office and made his way down to the hospital wing. He was shaky on his feet, requiring Dr. James to take his elbow for support.

Once in contact with him, all of the Healer's assurance filled Snape and he sighed; stopping a moment to lean against the older man. His own anxiety bled away in the face of such calm.

"Almost there, Severus. You're doing just fine," Barnes quietly whispered. With a nudge he moved Snape onward. They skirted the noisier areas of the castle and soon were entering the isolation ward that contained half a dozen empty beds. One bed, near the window, contained a barely awake Harry flanked by Lupin and Jeffrey. Snuffles was under the bed decidedly unhappy. Dumbledore stood by the window, contemplating the sunlight and snow. Seeing his friend, he crossed the room to meet him.

"Good morning, Severus," the Headmaster said warmly, putting a hand on Snape's shoulder. He was quickly surprised by an armful of Potions Master looking for a hug. It was spontaneous and just what the worried Dumbledore needed. After a moment they broke apart slightly, but Snape did not let go completely.

"Hi Albus," Snape said softly. Together they moved over to Harry. Looking over the room thoughtfully, he sized up the possible places to perform the counter-curse.

"I think I should at least sit down," Snape said. Dr. James chuckled warmly.

"You are going to lie down, Severus. Then Jeffrey will levitate Harry to you," the older Healer said decisively. Sit, indeed! If what Jeff and Lupin said about last time were true, Snape was barely going to get through this. With help from Dumbledore Snape shed his cloak and climbed up onto the empty bed next to the youth's. Dr. James took pains to pull blankets around his patient and brought a chair very close so he could easily scan the Potions Master.

Jeffrey looked at his father slightly confused. His father was hovering. His father was sitting close, not standing as was his normal practice. The younger healer proceeded to levitate Harry after Lupin pulled his covers off. Pale and trembling, the youth was lowered onto the Potions Master.

"Hi Harry," Snape said gently as he wrapped his long arms around the sick child. Harry regarded the older wizard curiously.

"How are you feeling, Professor Snape?" Harry asked shivering into the hug.

"Definitely better than yesterday," he said quietly, pushing back Harry's unruly black mop of hair. Dr. James placed a hand on Snape and one on Harry. The feeling of calm immediately focused the Potions Master and he snugged his charge under his chin. No one was more surprised by the affection than Harry himself.

"I feel so stupid. I'm sorry," Harry whispered.

"You're not stupid, Harry. And you have nothing to be sorry about. Voldemort and his evil did this, not you," Snape said quietly in return.

"But you've been sick. You shouldn't have to take care of me," Harry lamented.

"I am the only one who knows the counter-curse," Snape said simply.

"But, but you're too weak. I can wait," Harry tried. The Potions Master took a deep breath and slowly let it out.

"Harry, I am sick. I had a bad day yesterday. But you are sick too. And you're having a very bad time. I know what you're feeling: waiting, wondering if you're going to get better or if you'll just get weaker and weaker and die," Snape cuddled Harry closer still, ignoring the Healers, ignoring his friend next to him. "No child deserves to be so helpless, to feel so alone. If I can help you then I'm happy to do that, I want to make you better. Albus has taught me how to reach out when I need help. Relax and let me help you."

Harry sniffled, trying not to cry. He was very scared, not knowing if he was cursed or just sick (not knowing even now if the counter-curse would work). As the tears broke through he felt those thin arms rock him slightly and soft words murmur into his hair. His entire world narrowed to that comfort, and it seemed enough that Snape cared so deeply.

James smiled, feeling the Potions Master's own turmoil: sadness and love intertwined. He sent a warm stream of energy into both patients. He then tugged along the bond, pulling Snape to the surface and meeting his eyes.

"You need to cast the spell," the elder Healer reminded gently. Jeffrey leaned over the bed, touching both Harry and Snape.

"Yes, Severus. Let's get Harry healed. James and I will be right there with you," the younger Healer said.

"Jeffrey, I've secured a healer's bond with Severus," Dr. James said very casually. His son looked up at him sharply.

"You did what?" Jeffrey hissed, obviously trying to keep his emotion in check. Confused, Dumbledore looked at Lupin, but the DADA professor just shrugged, clearly as clueless as the Headmaster.

"Healer bond?" the Headmaster inquired.

"I'll explain later," Jeffrey said tersely, giving his father a final, inscrutable look. James lifted his hand and touched his son softly on the cheek.

"We'll be fine, I promise you, I will be just fine," James said gently. With a short nod Jeffrey returned his attention to Snape and a snuffly Harry.

"Albus, you and Remus stand by Dr. James," Jeffrey directed. He motioned with his eyes, concern clouding them. Both wizards complied immediately. Snuffles crawled out from under the bed and perched his head on the end of the bed, watching his Godson.

"What if it doesn't work?" Harry asked suddenly, his voice more shaky than he'd like.

"Then I'll be extremely tired and you, child, will only have the flu. Madame Pomfrey will work her healing magic on you," Snape assured him. He had no doubts about his ability to cure Harry. Dr. James felt the peaceful acceptance and took a firm hold on the bond.

"Ok, Severus," Jeffrey prompted.

Snape closed his eyes, summoning up his courage. He chanted the words carefully and distinctly (for the healers) as he began focusing all that was within him into Harry, willing the curse to pull out the evil that held the boy hostage. A warm glow surrounded the Potions Master and Harry's head lolled forward, mouth opening in a long sigh.

Jeffrey marveled at the power Snape was generating. It built slowly, starting at a point within the wizard's chest then expanding until it encircled both Snape and Harry. At this point the younger healer wanted to send in an influx of energy, but he could not. He had no idea what that would do to the spell.

Instead, he rode with the spell itself, feeling the casting as the words echoed in his head. "I give myself so that you will heal" Snape stated firmly. "I give myself to redeem your body from evil." The Potions Master threw his power into the youth. A mist rose from Harry, swirling up and up over their prostrate forms. The wizard lifted his right hand and flicked a hard command of dissolution. The mist dissipated quickly.

Several things happened at once: Harry's eyes flew open, the feeling of energy and health roiled within him and he wanted to leap up and shout to the world Severus Snape had, indeed, healed him. Snape went utterly limp, completely deflated and depleted, eyes rolling back, lashes fluttering spasmodically, then shutting decidedly. James Barnes collapsed, narrowly missing pitching to the floor as both Lupin and Dumbledore grabbed him.

"What's wrong?" both Harry and the Headmaster called out in unison. Jeffrey held onto Snape a moment longer, scanning, confirming, then sighed deeply.

"Nothing is wrong. Well, that's not entirely true," Jeffrey amended quietly. He pulled Harry up and quickly had the bouncing youth standing next to him. A swift wave of the wand and the narrow hospital bed widened.

"Need to get Dr. James up next to Severus," the younger Healer said, levitating his limp father onto the bed, carefully arranging him around the Potions Master. Although seemingly unconscious the older Healer curled around his patient, tucking his head against Snape's chest. Jeffrey touched his father, eyes brimming.

"Ok, Dad, I expect you back," he said with a breaking voice. He then turned and walked across the room trying to gather his resolve.

"Jeffrey?" Dumbledore immediately followed the Healer, touching him on the back in a silent offer of support. The younger wizard turned and leaned against the Headmaster letting him gather him close.

"What, child?" Dumbledore asked as he hugged Jeffrey.

"Healer's Bond," Jeffrey said with a resigned sigh. "It's the equivalent of muggles' life support. Dad's regulating all of Severus' vital functions. Basically, Severus is too depleted to manage his functions himself."

"WHAT?" Harry exclaimed. "He said he'd just be tired. What do you mean he's too depleted?" Both Healer and Headmaster broke apart and turned to face a room full of alarmed people. At some point Hermione and Ron had snuck in, they were now flanking their friend in relief and concern.

Dumbledore froze momentarily as what Jeffrey said really hit him. The Headmaster looked directly at the Healer.

"Jeffrey, what is going on?" he asked very firmly. The Healer sighed and looked back at the bed containing his father and Snape.

"Dad established a Healer's bond. It's very advanced healing, only older, more experienced healers can form one; even fewer can sustain them long. In emotional healings, the bond actually lets both sides feel fully the other. It's very helpful if a patient has been despondent or depressed for a period of time because the healer can infuse them with their own calm and well-being. They work through counseling sessions bonded, usually no longer than an hour at a time." Jeffrey moved toward his patient and father, deliberately skirting the animagus who still sat next to the bed. Lupin shifted, letting the Healer get closer. The DADA professor stayed between the animagus and the Potions Master. He didn't think Snuffles would do anything, but Lupin knew something was wrong with his old friend and couldn't let his guard down.

"What Dad did was a little more complicated. He bonded with Severus, but not as a counseling tool," Jeffrey put a hand carefully on his father, scanning him lightly. He let his hand stray across the older man's face as if memorizing it. This did not engender a good feeling in anyone.

"Basically, Severus was too run down and Dad knew it. He formed the bond as a safe-guard. He's actually keeping Severus going until his body can regain enough energy to function on its own," Jeffrey removed his hand and curled his arms dully around his torso.

"So, when Severus is better then James will pull out," Lupin said carefully, eyeing the Healer.

"That's the theory. It's just that if anything happens, well, Dad would go, too," the younger Healer managed to get out. Now Lupin put a comforting arm around Jeffrey and held for a moment.

Harry looked at the Headmaster, frozen in his concern and fear. He turned his gaze to the two men on the bed, pale and limp then to the young doctor fighting back his emotions. Finally, he took in the sight of his Godfather cringing.

Cringing? Why was Snuffles looking as if he were going to be yelled at? A dark thought passed through Harry's mind.

"Why was Professor Snape more worn down? I thought the whole idea of waiting a few days was to be sure he was stronger," Harry asked slowly. Was it his imagination, or did Snuffles look ashamed?

"What happened yesterday? The Professor said something about having a bad day yesterday," Harry looked at Dumbledore.

"He, he had a set back," the Headmaster fumbled, rubbing his eyes as he sank down into a chair.

"For gods sakes, Albus! Put the blame where it belongs!" hissed a very angry Barnes glaring at the animagus. "You always cover for your damned Gryffindors, don't you?" the young healer broke away from Lupin and stormed across the room, then suddenly swung back and stood right in front of the Headmaster. Jaws working in anger, eyes blazing, the young Healer nearly frothed at the mouth.

"Tell, him. Tell him why Severus is near death from saving his life! Saving the life of someone not because he's a noble Gryffindor but BECAUSE HE VALUES LIFE!" Jeffrey raged but Dumbledore did not speak. "Why my Dad is sacrificing his life," he finished, voice finally breaking as he covered his face and he turned away.

"Sirius," Harry said with dawning understanding and turned to his Godfather. "Sirius hurt Professor Snape. Again." Snuffles shrank against the bed frame then shifted back to his wizard form.

"I only wanted to make Snape come down and heal you, Harry. I didn't think he'd do that," Black said in a frightened voice. He knew he'd gone too far. He'd lost the only family he had left. Harry would never understand. That there was an anger inside Black he could not contain. Harry would never forgive him.

"You hurt him?" Harry prompted through clenched teeth.

"I... I...," Sirius managed.

"Sirius cracked Severus' ribs, bruised his intestines, caused chunks of Albus' coffee table to be driven into his shoulder, and severely bruised his face," Jeffrey ground out, seething as he started listing the damages he and his father had worked over trying to get Snape ready to help Harry.

"YOU CRACKED HIS RIBS?" Harry screamed.

"SHIT! WHO THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU ARE? What gives you the right to hurt Professor Snape?" Harry's voice only lowered when he saw Dr. James jerk on the bed.

"Harry, he's, he's Snape! He'd as much spit on you as help you!" Sirius argued back. Harry pulled every bit of his 5 foot eight inch frame upright.

"Oh, he would, would he? HOW THE HELL DO YOU KNOW? Severus Snape has done everything he could to protect me these past four years while acting the role of enemy and forgoing the basics of human friendship in order to help our side," Harry hissed in anger. "He has been ridiculed and hounded by every student and a lot of the staff for his role. And it's just a role, even I, a student, can recognize that. gods, Sirius, where do you get off judging the man?" Harry turned, staring straight at his Godfather, pinning him where he stood.

"When we were in school," Sirius began.

"That was over twenty years ago! You were children! Remus grew up, Professor Snape definitely grew up. When the hell do you think you'll let go of your stupid childish grudges and get on with your pathetic life?" Spit flew from Harry's mouth.

"Harry, your Godfather was locked away for twelve years," Dumbledore said reasonably. "He hasn't had time to grow up, really."

Harry pivoted and faced the Headmaster. Respect for the older wizard and outrage fought within him.

"Sir, I'm years younger than he was when he went to Azkaban and I get it. And now, he's been out over a year and he hates Professor Snape as much if not more than when I first reconciled with him in the Shrieking Shack. Just how long does it take to move on? You asked him to put aside their differences and work together. Does attacking Professor Snape seem like working with him to you?" he asked his intense green° eyes peeling away any arguments Dumbledore may have considered.

"I don't know, Harry, I'm not a skilled therapist," the Headmaster admitted.

"Dad might have some suggestions," Barnes said quietly.

"Am I good to go?" Harry ground out.

"I need to scan you," Jeffrey faltered, amazed by the anger generated and sustained.

"Harry, I'm, I'm sorry," Sirius tried reaching out to his Godson, but he moved away.

"Are you? You say you love me; but you almost killed the only person who could help me because you have to hate him," Harry said hotly. "You hate him more than you love me, and you don't even know who he is."

"I can't speak to you, not now," Harry managed as he submitted to the doctor's scan.

"Good to go. Eat and rest for the day," Jeffrey told him. "Then see me tonight. I'll be here or in the Headmaster's rooms."

"I will," and Harry swept out of the room, his silent friends in tow.


	42. A Promise to be Better 42

A Promise to be Better 42

Author: Raven Dancer

disclaimer: All characters belong to J.K. Rowling except for the Drs. Barnes, Beryl and Gibbons. I receive no monetary compensation for these works.

Summary: Awakenings

Streams of yellow light trailed across the bed and floor, contrasting with the deepening shadows in the nooks of the ward. The curtain had been drawn, as much to keep out the gathering night as to preserve the light spilling out from several lamps.

The limp figure of the dog was lolling on the floor, eyes nearly shut. A puddle of drool was forming under the slightly gaping mouth. Front legs were outstretched, as the beast lay flat on its side as though tossed aside. It wasn't a natural sleep.

In a chair next to the animal was sprawled the young Healer. Someone had tucked a blanket around the somnolent wizard, and pulled up to his chin. It rose and fell softly with each breath. One hkand was balanced on his lap, the other had fallen off to the side still holding the leash. The leash was attached to the collar: the collar of the dog lolling on the floor in a widening pool of drool.

Several lit lamps floated above the bed exposing both occupants: a pale face wreathed in long black hair, dark circles around the closed eyes nearly matching. Gaunt cheeks. The figure was unmoving but for the slightest expansion and contraction of the nostrils as he breathed.

Snug against the long, thin body was another. The peppered brown head covering the other's chest as though listening to the heart beat, listening to the lungs fill... arms protectively holding tight... leg even thrown over the other's legs as if to keep him shielded.

No sound but the breathing of four bodies. Until...

"I have to go to the loo," Snape barely whispered.

"I know," Dr. James replied.

"You have to go, too," Snape rejoined, a sly smile playing over his lips.

"I know," Dr. James answered.

"You're hungry, too," Snape pointed out.

"Yep," Dr. James chuckled and shifted in the bed.

"I have to go," Snape reiterated. James turned slightly and grabbed a plastic container off the table. He held it out to his bedmate. Snape curled his lip in a disgusted sneer.

"I will NOT use that thing!" he snarled. James chuckled.

"They wash 'em. You've probably sent students here for detention to wash them," the Healer pointed out.

"I do NOT care if it's been sanitized in dragon's fire, I will not use that thing!" Snape's voice dripped with disgust.

"It is a URINAL, Severus. And it's not as if you have a choice, you're much too weak to walk anywhere, as am I," James told his patient in his most reasonable voice.

"Like hell I am," Snape retorted, and picking up his pillow he flung it sharply at the sleeping wizard in the chair.

"You're good at that," James moved to watch his son jerk upright, flustered.

"I'm a teacher. I'm good at propelling a variety of objects across the room," Snape said snidely.

Jeffrey stumbled to his feet, dropping the leash, and lurched to his father's side.

"Dad?" the worry painted the younger Healer's voice. He reached out and placed hands on his father. Snape felt a rush of love from Dr. James and the echo of Jeffrey's back through the bond. It was a most amazing thing and he watched wide-eyed as the love continued to rebound between the two men. Shifting slightly, Jeffrey stroked the older Healer's face affectionately

"If you ever pull a stunt like that again, old, man," the relieved Healer growled, "you will be grounded for a month!"

"I seem to recall someone here going on a little foray into a war zone a couple years back..." James snapped angrily.

"Don't try to change the subject, Dr. Barnes," sneered the younger wizard.

"Arrogant ass," Dr. James retorted sharply.

"Insufferable know-it-all," shot back Jeffrey.

Snape was confused! The two wizards sounded mad, snarling at each other, but inside the affection and relief was profound. Jeffrey looked over his father at Snape and smiled.

"So, Dad, are you two still bonded?" he asked as he reached out to take the Potions Master's hand and scan him. He kept the bright smile even though he was very alarmed at the low levels.

"Oh, yes. Severus and I are doing famously together, aren't we?" Dr. James gushed happily, wagging the offensive urinal in Snape's face.

"Not bloody likely," Snape grumbled, voice weak and scratc8hy. He turned his attention directly to Jeffrey.

"I want to go to the loo and HE won't let me," the Potions Master tried to growl. Jeffrey released Severus' hand after giving it a parting squeeze and pulled out his wand. He levitated his patient off the bed and moved him toward the washroom.

"We'll be baaack!" the younger man teased. Snape did need a lot of help performing his ablutions, but the Healer assisted and soon a much relieved wizard was floating back to bed. Much relieved, but once he saw his 'bondmate' he curled his lip in disgust.

"For gods sake, don't bandy that thing about!" Snape cursed. Dr. James just smiled at him innocently.

"I know how to use a urinal," he replied serenely. With a chuckle Jeffrey claimed the filled object and headed back to the washroom.

"Don't go anywhere, Severus!" he admonished, leaving the wizard hanging in mid-air. Snape, of course, went nowhere, but hung there filled with his own loathing and Dr. James' warm happiness. He attempted to hold on to his revulsion but lost the struggle as the Healer blatantly upped his cheerfulness.

"Ok, you win 'old man'," Snape conceded with a small smile. He watched the Healer sit up and swing over to the side of the bed,easing down on his feet. Feeling James' weakness, the Potions Master became concerned.

"You sure you should be up?" he asked. Dr. James smiled and moved to his floating patient.

"No," the Healer answered truthfully, "but I don't like leaving you hanging around. I'll just tug you over to a chair and Jeffy can call us up something to eat. In case you haven't figured it out, I'm HUNGRY!"

"Hungry? Your damned stomach's growling woke me up!" Snape complained happily as Dr. James propelled him towards a small table and chairs near the comatose dog. Snape looked in alarm at the creature.

"What...? Why...?" Snape stuttered. James put a protective hand on him as Jeffrey hurried out of the washroom.

"And just what do you think you are doing, James Francis Barnes?" the Healer hissed at his father. The old adage about doctors being the worst patients flitted through Jeffrey's mind as he moved quickly over to support his father.

"Getting ready for you to order up tea," the man so named stated evenly. James kept his emotions in check and tried to help calm Snape down.

Jeffrey brought both his patients to the table and seated them. His father was quite able to sit on his own but the Potions Master was very weak, requiring some help to remain in the chair comfortably. Slightly tilting the chair and snugging a blanket firmly around him helped keep Snape in place.

"Dad, you're going to have to let go soon," the young healer murmured. The older wizard had paled decidedly.

"I know, but he's still so weak," James said quietly. Snape had, in fact, closed his eyes wearily, overwhelmed by the minor exertions and Snuffles' presence.

"Yes, he is. But so are you. Let me get some food ordered and then I can take over for awhile," Jeffrey proposed. James nodded in agreement and watched his son do just that, calling on a house elf to fetch supper and then transfiguring Snape's chair so he could slide in, gathering the wizard snugly against his body.

"You are decidedly cold, Professor Snape," Jeffrey chided, concerned.

"Mmmm?" was the extent of the reply. Curling close, the young Healer began to feed in energy.

"Dad? You can let go now," Jeffrey said quietly as he watched his father. The elder Barnes passed a shaky hand over his eyes, muttering under his breath. As the bond broke Snape went slightly limp and let out a soft whimper. The elder Healer immediately perked up. Jeffrey upped the energy flow slightly and was rewarded with his patient moving sluggishly against him.

"Severus? You with me?" Jeffrey pursued. With a long sigh the Potions Master opened his eyes and stretched into the energy feed.

"Yes, Jeffrey, I'm with you," he replied, barely whispering.

"Good," the Healer whispered into his patient's hair, giving him a slight hug. A variety of plates began to materialize on the table bringing with them the smell of warm bread and curry filled the air. Jeffrey looked a bit dubious but put some on the plate. James filled his own plate and tore a chunk of bread off the loaf. Picking up a fork, the younger Healer nudged a small bite into Snape's mouth.

They ate quietly for a time. Jeffrey kept teasing bite after bite into his patient.

"What's wrong with Black?" Snape managed after swallowing a long sip of juice. Barnes glanced down at the animagus.

"Sleeping," he said shortly. Dr. James glanced over, now noticing the limp figure. Setting his fork down he stood and went to Snuffles.

"Jeffrey..." the older Healer began, a warning in his voice. He fumbled for his wand and touched the animagus, "Ennervate!" he muttered and was rewarded by movement.

"I put him to sleep. I didn't want any trouble," Jeffrey said, a little more angry than he intended. Snuffles whimpered as the elder Healer rolled him to his stomach and rubbed stiff limbs.

"I think you were a little over-eager with your spells, Dr. Barnes," James said carefully. He agreed what Black had done was completely unconscionable, but so was this mistreatment. It wasn't the sort of thing he expected from his son. It surprised him.

Snape watched. A very small part of him felt sorry for the animagus. The larger part was actually scared. He knew Black wished him dead and had done his damnedest make it happen. His anxiety rose as he considered the fact that he was too weak to even stand. That, and Dumbledore was not there to protect him.

The younger healer's attention jerked back to his patient. Anxiety was building rapidly, the upward spiral fueled by fear.

"I'll take Severus upstairs, Dad. Then you can see that Black is taken care of properly. Lupin was going to return after dinner and bring him back to his quarters," Jeffrey explained. Snape was now trembling. The Healer simply pulled him close and whispered soothing words to him.

"Sorry," Snape managed as he burrowed into his security 'blanket'. Once more he was a detriment, unable to even take care of himself. Worthless.

Dinner forgotten, the younger Healer gathered up his patient, wrapped him warmly in a cloak and left the isolation ward.

Dumbledore moved out of the Great Hall, Lupin in tow. To say it was a bad day was a gross understatement. The only 'bright' spot was Harry being cured. Even that was tempered by the boy's obvious anger at his Godfather and Severus' collapse.

The Headmaster was a whirl of emotions, none of them very well shielded. Betrayed by a cherished Gryffindor, betrayed by his own faulty memories. Nearly losing his child once again... Uncertain when the young Healer chased them out of the isolation ward if either Snape or Dr. James were going to survive... He'd been assured they'd be fine, but both men were so pale, so still, that the older wizard had his doubts.

Once again Dumbledore felt lost. What was he going to do? He wanted to protect Severus but couldn't interfere with Dr. James' treatment. Hells, he couldn't do anything at the moment to help Snape at all! And what about Jeffrey's still palatable disappointment in him? How was he going to re-build their relationship especially, gods forbid... Then there was Remus, looking for assurances he'd done all he could have done. How could he reassure Remus when The Headmaster felt they'd all failed Severus? Add to the mix Harry's very real and very understandable anger and confusion. Nearly condemned to death by the avenging Godfather, saved by the 'evil' death eater... And SiriuLs Black. What was he going to do about Sirius?

All this and more caused his shoulders to sag as he dragged himself along. Dumbledore was not a person to give into despair easily, but he was was there now.

"Albus?" Lupin slipped closer. The Headmaster hadn't even noticed him before this. He put a comforting hand on the older man's shoulder.

"Remus. I'm sorry, I didn't hear you," Dumbledore said, looking into the golden brown eyes.

"It's going to be fine, Albus. Everything will work out," Lupin quietly assured the Headmaster.

"I want to believe that, but I don't see how," the older man admitted. Together they finished the long walk to the hospital wing and entered the isolation ward.

The first thing they noticed was Dr. James was sitting in a chair by an occupied bed. He was writing quickly, the quill flying over a piece of parchment. The second thing both noted was the occupant of the bed. Sirius Black was awake, watching the healer closely. Lastly, Dobby stood perched on the bed waiting expectantly, eyes glued to the older Healer.

"Dr. James?" Dumbledore moved to both men, standing. Uncertain.

"A moment," the doctor murmured, writing in a determined manner. After a few more lines were scratched out he read over what had been written and then folded it and picked up the quill once more to write on the outside fold.

"Dobby," Dr James held the paper to the house elf. "Go and send this by an express owl to Geneva. You can read the address?" The elf peered at the doctor's atypical neat cursive and nodded happily.

"Dobby can read. Dobby knows letters. Dobby will send Dr. James' letter to Geneva," the house elf chirruped cheerfully. He bowed a little and disappeared with a *crack*. Letter dispatched, the Healer leaned back in his chair and turned his attention to the Headmaster.

"Now, Albus, what can I do for you?" the doctor's voice rumbled warmly. It immediately put both the Headmaster and the DADA professor at ease and they moved to chairs near the bedded animagus.

"Severus?" Dumbledore asked immediately. The older wizard moved closer, impatient to know if his child was ok. Black shifted uncomfortably.

"He is upstairs. He's very weak, but out of danger. I think he and Jeffy were going to finish dinner and then Jeffy is going to continue to feed him energy until I re-establish the bond for the night," the doctor said confidently.

"You have to bond again?" Lupin asked. "I thought that was just for emergencies."

"Well, Severus is still struggling," James said carefully. "Both Jeffrey and I are tired so just a normal energy feed all night is out of the question," Barnes said, his voice rolling the r's pleasantly.

"With the bond I can sleep all night and still monitor Severus without having to keep up a constant feed. I think we'll give him an energy potion in any event." The Healer glanced over at the subdued animagus.

"Sirius, can you transform now?" he asked not too gently. Black closed his eyes, thinking.

"Yes, sir, I can," said a very cowed Black.

*Sir?* thought Remus. Well, that was a change for the better.

"Then you will go with Remus and sleep. In the morning you will stay with him when he teaches. You will not go anywhere alone," Barnes said very firmly.

Dumbledore realized something had happened, some discussion had taken place between the Healer and Black. Something happened and he, Albus Dumbledore, had missed it. He didn't know what was happening. He hadn't been in on the decision-making. Albus Dumbledore did not like not knowing what was going on nor did he appreciate being left out of the process of deciding what would happen.

But the Headmaster did not have a chance to ask any questions or lodge any protests. James moved back allowing Black to get off the bed and shift into Snuffles. The leash was clicked back onto the leather collar and handed to Lupin.

"He'll need dinner, Remus. Don't push him but don't leave him alone," Dr. James instructed the DADA professor. Nodding, Lupin tugged gently and they made their way out of the isolation ward without another word. Lupin's head was spinning, wondering exactly what the +Healer had done to subdue Black so thoroughly. Dumbledore followed their progress until the door closed then turned back to James full of questions.

His interrogation was nipped in the bud at the sight of the older Healer slumped back pale and exhausted. James had covered his eyes and seemed to have gone limp.

"James?" Dumbledore asked in concern, moving quickly over to the Healer. With a sigh the Healer rubbed his face and looked up at the Headmaster.

"I wanted to smash the bastard. When I first came in to your rooms last night and saw Severus on the ground it took all my professional training NOT to wallop him back across your room," James slowly sat up straighter. "Harder still when I came down here to help Harry. I know Sirius has problems, but gods, Albus, I just can't get rid of that image of Severus lying on that broken table."

Dumbledore stared, trying not to look shocked. James? James would feel so strongly about Snape that he'd harm another wizard? Well, Jeffrey certainly had been tenacious about protecting Snape; it only stood to reason that the younger Healer had learned it from his own father. James shifted and continued.

"Then when I brought Severus up this morning I thought I had gotten it under control. He cured Harry and we 'cocooned' for the bulk of the day. When I finally broke the bond and saw Black on the ground where Jeffy had left him I kicked into Healer mode and went to help," he slowly rose and moved to the table which happened to have a full tea service set up.

"He makes me so angry. I'm not used to anger, Albus. At least not the type of anger that takes away my control." James poured out two mugs and put sugar in his, stirring thoroughly.

"What happened? Sirius seemed quite tractable," Dumbledore asked.

"He started to complain about Jeffy attacking him unfairly. Jeffy put some sleep charms on him to keep him from being troublesome while we were all 'down'. I blew a gasket. Damn him! 'Unfair' my ass," James cursed and took a quick slurp of tea. Again, Dumbledore was amazed at the fury. The normally calm and collected Healer was more angry than Jeffrey had been.

"The end result is I've sent a letter to The sanitarium in Geneva. A college chum of mine heads it. They have a very good psychiatric facility. Sirius has 'agreed' however tenuously, to go into the facility for treatment."

A huge weight seemed to lift off Dumbledore's shoulders. It seemed perfect: Sirius would get help Mand he'd be far away from his child. As much as he liked Black and wanted him to get help, he loved Snape and couldn't bear the thought of any more harm coming to him.

"Will they see him? Does Sirius have a problem that can be treated? I have slowly come to realize he was a spoiled child that never did get to grow up," the Headmaster blurted out.

"I think, Albus, there is more there than just childhood hate built up over the years. Twelve years in Azkaban for a crime he didn't commit... Losing his best friends and knowing he was partially to blame for their deaths," James stopped to take another long sip of tea. "It is safe to say Sirius has some issues that need exploring; especially if he wants to reconcile with Harry."

Dumbledore easily figured out how the Healer got Black to agree to going to the clinic. his love for Harry would motivate him and, hopefully, hold him to the promise.

"Good point, James," the Headmaster said. The Healer smiled ruefully.

"Still wanted to punch him. Damned arrogance. He was actually trying to convince me he was right to beat the crap out of Severus yesterday," the Healer positively snarled out his anger. The animosity shocked Dumbledore. Catching the stunned look on the Headmaster's face, Dr. James breathed deeply and tried to release his anger. The Headmaster didn't need any more stress piled on him right now. He leaned over and patted the older wizard's knee.

"You look tired, Albus. As tired as I am. Let's get upstairs. I need to eat and then get ready for bed," the Healer reached out and plucked the mug from the Headmaster's hand. Together they stood up and moved toward the door.


	43. A Promise to be Better 43

A Promise to be Better 43

Author: Raven Dancer

disclaimer: All characters belong to J.K. Rowling except for the Drs. Barnes, Beryl and Gibbons. I receive no monetary compensation for these works.

Summary: Places in the Heart

The younger healer had finished feeding his patient and was curled up in the lounge when his father and the Headmaster came into Albus' rooms. He'd administered an energy potion and coerced Snape into drinking some strengthening draughts as well. Now they were both drifting somewhere between too exhausted and sleep.

Dr. James touched Jeffrey first, immediately feeling the weariness rolling off his son. He then shifted to Snape, scanning the frighteningly low energy and strange lightness of being. He was not happy; even with the energy boosts Snape was just too weak. And still. The Potions Master's chest barely rose and fell as lungs pulled in pitifully small amounts of air. The normally sallow face had a slight gray cast to it.

"How are they?" Dumbledore asked, including Jeffrey out of politeness. The Headmaster's eyes were only on the still, black-haired figure.

"Tired. Severus is barely stable," Dr. James responded in a tight voice. His slumping shoulders told the older wizard the Healer was hiding something.

"Which means?" prompted a worried Headmaster. gods, Dr. James looked almost as white as Snape at this point. It made Dumbledore's heart beat faster.

"Which means we're in for a long night," the older Healer said evasively, not wanting to raise the already impossibly high stress level Dumbledore was exhibiting. He patted his son affectionately. He knew Jeffrey was both awake and quite aware of them. Finally James moved over to the table, letting Dumbledore move closer. The Headmaster immediately took Snape's hand and scanned his child as best he could. He could hardly feel anything, the spark that was Severus was dim. Now his chest was getting tight and he vaguely wondered if he should mention this to Dr. James.

"He's not going to make it, is he?" Dumbledore asked instead, voice trembling slightly. This caused Jeffrey's eyes to snap open and check out the Headmaster. The younger Healer's hand covered his, scanning the internal turmoil.

"Severus will make it. He just needs careful handling for a few hours," Jeffrey consoled the older wizard. He believed this completely and the certainty in his voice soothed Dumbledore somewhat.

"I don't like being handled," Snape's weak voice cut into the conversation. All three wizards were startled, Dr. James moved so he could join the other two in looking closely at the Potions Master. Dumbledore gently stroked his friend's face. So very fragile... So very pale... It frightened him all over again and only the grip of the Healer on his other hand kept him from collapsing.

"I'll make an exception for you, Albus," the scratchy wisp of a voice allowed as the Potions Master leaned into the touch. All Dumbledore wanted to do was gather the man up and protect him. A fierce, hopeless feeling welled up from the depths of his chest. Now Snape trusted him, loved him. And he was going to die...

"Why don't you take my place, Albus? I need to confer with my Dad," Jeffrey asked, breaking into Dumbledore's despair. A little hands-on comfort would help both the Headmaster and the ill wizard. "You can send energy?"

"Of course," the Headmaster said eagerly, fairly leaping at the chance to hold his child. The wizards shifted, then traded places. Soon Snape's fingers were whispering over Dumbledore's robes seeking the assurances of warmth and touch.

"Love you, Albus," the insubstantial voice drifted up and Dumbledore held tighter trying to reign in the helplessness washing over him.

"Love you too, Severus, my child," the Headmaster managed without cracking. He couldn't cry, not now. Snape might feel guilty and that would be too stressful for both of them.

Then they were still, drifting together between too exhausted and sleep.

Within an hour the Healers formed a plan. Both were exhausted. Of theï two, Jeffrey had a little more strength. He would go back to the clinic and make sure everything was running smoothly. They'd left their latest medical resident in charge along with their receptionist. Good practice for the soon-to-graduate witch.

James would stay the night bonded with Snape, keeping his heart and lungs going. The Potions Master was extremely vulnerable but he should be safe bonded to James and carefully nestled in the Headmaster's bed. Before leaving, the two Healers worked together to move their patient into bed and reestablished the full healer's bond.

Taking Dumbledore by the arm Jeffrey led him out of earshot. Dr. James was too busy fussing over Snape to notice their departure.

"You must watch them, Albus. I know you're tired; but Dad's extremely over-protective right now. He's gone deep into the bond and will hurt himself substantially if Severus gets into trouble,"

The healer swallowed down his own fears in order to say what he must.

"If anything happens, if Dad starts to struggle, you'll have to convince him to break the bond. He'll, he'll die trying." Jeffrey looked away, unable to meet the pain he knew would be in Dumbledore's eyes. A comforting hand caressed his shoulder.

"I know, Jeffrey. James does care for his patients, and he loves Severus . I'll watch out for him," the older man promised gravely even as his stomach clenched at the very real possibility of losing his child.

"I'll be back early in the morning-," Jeffrey said, but was cut off when the office door opened. Curiously, Hermione Granger was dragging in Harry Potter, who was looking rather embarrassed. Both wizards stared a moment until Barnes nodded his head.

"Ah, of course, you were supposed to come see me after dinner, weren't you, Harry?" Jeffrey asked with a weary smile. Hermione gave her silent and apparently reluctant friend a glare.

"Yes, he was. I had to drag him out of his bed," the witch asserted.

"That should create some interesting gossip," the Headmaster said lightly, looking the two students over carefully. Hermione blushed, quickly followed by Harry.

"No, I, I, well, I just went in and got him, sir. Ron and Neville were there, in the room," Hermione stuttered.

"mmhmm," Dumbledore mused in an uncertain tone. This caused both students more anxiety and they broke apart.

"Nothing happened, Headmaster," Harry spoke quickly. The slight panic on his face finally caused the older two wizards to chuckle, releasing the students from the slight allegations of impropriety.

"Come, Harry. Let me scan you and then I'll be off," Jeffrey waved him closer, gently running his hands over the youth's face and neck. The vigor and good health shone through the scan.

"That is one impressive charm," the Healer murmured as he continued to check each major system.

"I feel wonderful," Harry said. "Better than wonderful." He glanced over at the Headmaster. "I'd really like to thank Professor Snape. Has he woken yet?" Harry asked. He immediately saw the Headmaster falter, his face lost the small smile and a wave of sadness enveloped the Headmaster The student tried to turn away from the Healer to fully face Dumbledore. Jeffrey allowed the youth to turn but not move away, continuing to scan.

"Professor Snape is better, after resting all day, isn't he?" Harry pushed, waiting impatiently for the reassuring answer for which he hoped. The Headmaster actually turned away before answering. A shiver of dread worked up from his toes.

"No, Harry, Professor Snape is not better," Dumbledore managed without expressing his inner pain verbally. Body language was an entirely different thing: the slumping shoulders and slight tremor betrayed him completely. Barnes finished his scan and pulled the student back to face him.

"Harry," Jeffrey said as gently as he could, "the charm takes a lot of energy, more than Professor Snape could afford to give."

"Damn him," Harry cursed, crossing his arms, becoming stiff under the Healer's gentle touches. "I can't believe Sirius!" the student muttered to himself.

Hermione looked at Barnes. This was not adding up. From what she'd read Professor Snape should be stronger; these wizards, especially Dumbledore, were acting as if the Potions Master was at death's door.

"What's happening to him?" she asked sharply.

"Severus? He's sleeping. Dr. James has rebonded with him to keep him stable," Jeffrey explained.

The disbelief on her face was very obvious.

"Dr. James has suggested Sirius get some specialized help," Dumbledore added, mistaking her expression as one of impatience at being misunderstood.

"He's contacted a sanitarium in Geneva. Sirius will be safe there and well taken care of," Jeffrey added.

"No, not Snuffles, I meant Professor Snape. Why isn't he getting stronger? I read about energy feeds and potions. Shouldn't he be better by now?" Hermione asked eagerly. Jeffrey was impressed; he'd heard about this young witch's thirst for knowledge.

For her part, Hermione looked a bit suspicious and Harry was beginning to look alarmed.

"He's just completely depleted," Jeffrey said in a firm and positive tone. "Dr. James has a good hold on him and with the potions he should be better in the morning."

Hermione and Harry both noticed the Headmaster did not look even remotely assured at either the Healer's tone or words.

"Then I will return in the morning to thank him," Harry said as he and Hermione both watched the Healer closely for his reaction to this.

"Wait. At least until your lunch break," Barnes requested, giving nothing away. The students nodded in acquiescences.

"Good night, Dr. Barnes. Good night, Professor Dumbledore," said Hermione. Harry echoed her and they went out the door together, heading back to Gryffindor tower.

"I'd best be off, too, Albus," the doctor said with a sigh. Meeting the Headmaster's eye he could see all the pain and fear the man had tried futilely to hide from the students. Jeffrey opened his arms and took the older wizard into a tight hug. gods, even though he knew Snape would be fine, he still needed the reassurances, too.

"Everything will be just fine," Jeffrey murmured. "Dad is a tenacious old booger and Severus has a strength we have hardly tapped." Dumbledore clung tight a moment, gathering his resolve before stepping back a little.

"I know, Jeffrey. I will watch over them both," the Headmaster promised, leaving a comforting hand on Jeffrey's shoulder as he walked the younger Healer to the door. He closed the door very softly behind Jeffrey and turned to go to bed.

Hours later Dumbledore woke. He looked at the pool of moonlight on the floor, remembering that it would be full in three nights. The professor from Beauxbatons would be brewing Lupin's potion soon. Jacques? Jerard? Julian? His sleep-befuddled mind sorted through a few names.

Why was he awake, anyway? The Headmaster slowly pushed up and waved on a light. Blinking in the brightness he turned his eyes toward the other occupants of the bed. Snape was laying as before, flat on his back unmoving. He was ghostly pale, dark hair framing his face in stark contrast. There was a strange hollowness in his face and Dumbledore looked closely wondering if his child were dreaming. He was too still, tèoo dull in the moonlight.

"oh gods..." Dr. James whimpered raggedly in his sleep. "it hurtssss. make it stop... please make it stop..."

Dumbledore's head jerked up and he looked at the Healer clutching his friend. Barnes' face was contorted in agony, tears spilling out. His entire body was shaking.

"JAMES! JAMES! WAKE UP!" the Headmaster reached over and shook the doctor hard. Oh gods, not now! Why the hell now? Pain-filled brown eyes snapped open and met the Headmaster's tear-filled blue.

"James, break the bond. Get out now!" Dumbledore choked out in agony.

*My child! Don't take my child!* Albus' mind screamed against the hopelessness welling up.

"James! Break off the bond!" his voice broke; he felt his tears fall faster. Heart shattering, he shook James hard, nearly pushing him off limp Potions Master. The Healer gripped Severus harder, struggling against both the pain and the Headmaster in his driving need to save his patient. Finally, the pain won out and with a whimper Barnes released Snape.

There was no change in the Potions Master, not even a twitch or whimper at the broken contact. He was just as still, just as white, as before. The Healer, on the other hand, drew in a long, shaky breath as he struggled upward pulling his left arm from under the sheets. He stared at it half-expecting it to be bleeding.

"Oh, gods, it was burning like acid had been poured on it," Barnes said weakly. Dumbledore immediately grabbed Snape's limp arm and drew it out from the bedding.

Voldemort was calling.

The snake and skull were burning black against the white flesh; the mark seemed to swell as the summoning continued. Dumbledore put his hand over the evil aberration and quickly cast the counter-charm. In no time the angry flesh was receding.

As the mark faded, Barnes quickly moved in and scanned Snape.

"Damn!" he cursed, pulling the limp, spiritless body to him.

Dumbledore watched in horror, unable to move or speak, as the drama unfolded before him.

"NO!" the Healer screamed, throwing a spike of energy into Snape. The body jerked, then spasmed and twitched.

"What? What can I do, James?" Dumbledore asked desperately.

"I can't regulate his heart and breathing and feed him the

energy he's going to need to survive," the Healer said hollowly, dropping his head in defeat. He was going to loose Severus. After all the struggles, all their fighting and his, Severus was dead. He was gone. Tears rolled slowly down James' face as he struggled with his grief, his defeat.

"James, I can feed the energy," Dumbledore said quickly, shaking the Healer.

"Won't work. He needs specific areas fed to survive," Barnes said dsully, admitting defeat. Dumbledore felt desperation rising rapidly as he looked at his lifeless child lying in the lap of the despondent Healer.

"Then BOND ME TO HIM! I can regulate his heart and breathing if you link us!" Dumbledore yelled at the Healer, he was not going to to give up, not if he could give himself to save his child.

"But if he goes," Barnes tried to counter. He was met with the wild glare of a distraught parent.

"LINK US! I WILL NOT LOOSE SEVERUS!" Dumbledore absolutely raged at the Healer fighting the urge to reach over and shake the man bodily. With a hesitant nod, Dr. James agreed.

"Ok, it might work," he said, a thin flicker of hope rising in him. "I have to bond with you then link you to Severus. YOU MUST REMAIN IN CONTROL. Do not allow him to take over for himself," Barnes quickly explained, eyes intent on the Headmaster. "You don't have to worry about falling asleep; you can only loose control if you will it away. The bond can't be broken unless you break it off."

"I think I understand, James. Please, do it now!" the Headmaster begged. Snape was completely limp between them. Barnes bit his lip, his brows creasing in concern. Still, he nodded and reached out to touch Dumbledore acting as a human bridge between Headmaster and Potions Master. The Healer murmured a few words.

Suddenly Dumbledore was plunged into all that was James. He was aware of the other man's heart beating, lungs filling and contracting. The sense, the force, of the man himself was profound. He felt the anxiety, the desperation, and the driving desire to save Snape.

Another murmuring and then the Headmaster was aware of another heartbeat, barely fluttering, another set of lungs slow to inflate. This lifeforce was barely a whisper.

*Albus?* the soft voice of his child sounded in his head.

*Albus? It's okay. Let go. Just let go?* Snape calmly asked. There was a peace in the voice Albus had never before heard.

*No, Severus. I'm going to hold you for a little while,* Dumbledore replied, working on his own composure. His body curled around Snape's getting as close physically as possible.

*You can let go, Albus. Harry's ok. Everything's ok,* the serene voice wafted through the Headmaster and he was tempted. Snape sounded so content. Could he pull his child away from this?

*No, child. I won't let go for now. Let me breathe for you,* Dumbledore said quietly, taking a firmer hold on heart and lungs, willing air and blood to continue flowing into the still body. Somewhere the Headmaster was aware of a tingling flow of energy. It bolstered his grip and he gained the upper hand.

*Ok, Albus, if you want to,* Snape sighed, releasing control to his friend.

*Yes, Severus, I want to; I love you child,* Albus felt a slight movement in the body against him. Snape curled the tiniest bit into his arms.

Dr. James continued to pulse his patient with a judicious flow of energy. Enough to keep everything running but not enough to exhaust the Healer. He could tell Dumbledore was firmly in control; Snape was stable. He no longer resisted the thin flicker of hope trying to light itself within him. Together they'd get the Potions Master through.

For time uncounted Dumbledore breathed in and out; heart beating in a lazy three quarter time; blood whooshing in, out, and through. gods, this was his child, this was his Severus. It was awkward at first, holding this fragile life in his hands. But slowly the internal rhythms aligned He gently prodded his child into sleep and let himself follow. The Headmaster found they were soon sharing his own dreams: Albus' dreams of the sea-side home of his youth, golden and warm in the summer sun. He'd lived there for only a few short years but the memory was strong filling them both with peace.


	44. A Promise to be Better 44

A Promise to be Better 44

Author: Raven Dancer

disclaimer: All characters belong to J.K. Rowling except for the Drs. Barnes, Beryl and Gibbons. I receive no monetary compensation for these works.

Summary: Places in the Heart

The next morning, Remus Lupin was on his way to breakfast when he was nearly run down by the young Healer. To say Jeffrey Barnes was in a great hurry would be an understatement.

"What's wrong?" the DADA professor asked, hurrying to match Barnes' stride.

"Overslept. Where's that dog?" Jeffrey asked without missing a step.

"With Hagrid. They're going to walk the grounds," Lupin reported. "It's only 9 am, why the rush?" It only seemed an instant before they were at the gargoyle outside the Headmaster's office. Barnes firmly spat out "candied fire ants".

"Listen, Severus was much weaker than my father let on-," Barnes began.

"More weak? I thought not being able to maintain vital functions was as low as he could get," Lupin replied in some shock.

"Well, yes and no. He could become too weak for anyone else to support him, either. I'd hoped Severus would have been a little stronger by last night. He was still too weak, barely supporting his own," Barnes answered truthfully. They'd made it up the moving stairs and pushed into the Headmaster's study.

"Dad? Albus?" Jeffrey called out. He had hoped to see at least one or the other at the least out in the main room. He pushed away the feeling of unease their absence engendered.

"Must still be in the bedroom," Lupin said reasonably, leading the way to the far door.

The bedroom was still dark, drapes drawn tight, the air still and silent. Lupin began to pull ˝the drapes open as Barnes made for the bed waving on lights as he went. Their eyes were greeted by three very silent forms huddled together.

"Oh, gods," muttered Jeffrey as he reached the bed. He carefully pulled Dumbledore off Snape and felt for the Headmaster's pulse.

Strong. Scan showed he was fine, but very tired. Eyes fluttered and Dumbledore surfaced.

"Jeffrey?" the Headmaster murmured groggily.

"Albus! What happened?" Barnes asked quickly as Lupin moved in beside the Healer. Yawning, Dumbledore looked at both men before trying to move back to Snape.

"Remus?" the Healer kept the Headmaster from returning, nudging him into Lupin's open arms.

Jeffrey reached beyond and quickly scanned Snape. Same low levels, but he was getting a little feed of energy. This surprised the young Healer. He reached beyond, lying across both Potions Master and part of the Headmaster to finally touch and scan his father. Again, the man was tired, but not as exhausted as the previous night. If James had simply kept to the bond he should have been stronger. What in the name of Hippocrates had happened?

"Had a bit of a problem last night. I think James can answer your questions better than I," Dumbledore muttered rather hazily.

Jeffrey's mind was spinning trying to figure out exactly what was going on. Did his father break the bond in favor of sending energy? He switched back to scanning Snape. Someone was regulating the heart at the very least; he recognized the cadence was different (a little slower!) than Snape's normal rhythm.

"I need to get Severus up and away from Dad so he can rest, Remus. Can you get the lounge set up for me?" Barnes asked as he began to levitate the Potions Master's still form out from between the two tired wizards. He'd run by the loo first and get him cleaned up a bit. Then some food for all of them.

With Lupin's help, Jeffrey and his patient were soon curled up in the lounge. The bond was still holding; the young Healer marveled at his father's strength and ability.

"I've got Dobby bringing up breakfast. He'll carry some over to you and help feed Severus," Lupin said. "I have to go down to teach my first class, unless you need me?"

"I can manage. Dad's done a fine job," Barnes responded, carefully shifting the drowsing wizard.

"Here, let me," Lupin adjusted the lounge and the occupants so Snape was sitting more upright against the healer. Severus' face became mobile, drawing into a slight frown, then a long breath was pulled in and let go. Finally eyes opened and looked around a little, trying to size up his situation.

"Well, good morning, Severus!" the DADA professor said warmly, gaining the bleary wizard's attention. Snape managed a weak smile before settling against the warmth of the Healer.

"Good morning, Severus," Barnes repeated, sending a stream of energy in to help wake him up.

"Jeffrey," Snape's weak voice managed.

"I'll be back later, Jeffrey, Severus," Lupin moved to gently stroke the Potions Master's rumpled hair then left for class.

Dobby was teasing in small bits of a protein concoction into Snape when both Dumbledore and Dr. James emerged from the bedroom. It was fortunate the Headmaster recalled Jeffrey's arrival earlier or both wizards would have panicked when they woke to find Severus gone.

As it was, they both came directly to the lounge to touch and read Snape. At Dumbledore's caress the Potions Master sighed happily and closed his eyes, feeling the warm rush of love wash over and through him. He returned to the Headmaster his own love and it reverberated on their bond. Jeffrey started.

"You're bonded!" he said incredulously.

"I bonded them in the middle of the night," Dr. James confirmed. "We nearly lost Severus."

Jeffrey stared at his father, processing the information. Unperturbed, the older Healer moved to the table selecting cups and pouring out tea. He then spooned out hot cereal for himself and moved back to the couch near the lounge. Dumbledore followed suit and was soon seated as close to Severus as he could be, eating his own cereal.

Silence reigned for a time. When Snape finally refused another bite Dobby cleaned up and removed the dishes. The lounge was adjusted and Dumbledore slid snug beside Snape so that his child was fully cradled between himself and the Healer and Headmaster. Blankets were spread and tucked.

Snape slipped into an easy sleep followed closely by Dumbledore. Dr. James pulled a separate blanket around himself and settled onto the couch. He explained everything that had occurred through the night to his curious son before he too, fell deeply asleep.

The day went peacefully. The people that stopped by did not disturb the sleeping wizards. Jeffrey kept conversation to a minimum and directed visitors to writing messages and leave them on the Headmaster's desk. His curiosity was sorely piqued when Harry and Hermione both spent some time writing and left notes addressed to Snape.

In the late afternoon Dr. James was roused by Dumbledore. The Headmaster was seated at his desk which was currently dominated by a large overseas albatross that sat there ruffling and settling its feathers while eating some choice bits of smelly herring thoughtfully provided by the house elves. The message it bore was addressed in a clear hand to Dr. Barnes, Sr. The Healer pushed himself up from the couch, took the message, and began to scan it.

"Well," he said with a sigh, "they can take him. Unfortunately the next secure opening won't be available for 5 to 6 months." Dr. James tossed the light parchment to the Headmaster. There was substantially more than just that and Dumbledore read quietly for a time before looking up at the Healer.

"So they'll take him even though he's a security problem," the older wizard let out a long sigh of relief.

"Oh, the Sanitarium is a private institute. Very private. They have dealt with many 'delicate' cases over the years. All very secure. Once Sirius is there we won't have to worry at all," the Healer leaned back, rubbing his eyes. "I was just hoping, fool that I am, they'd be able to take him now. Six months is a long time."

"He can't stay here," Jeffrey's voice piped in from the lounge. Snape was still asleep, having been kept there by the aggressive Healer.

"We don't have much of a choice, Jeffy," Dr. James returned. Dumbledore's face pinched for a moment then he reached for a quill and parchment.

"Perhaps we do have another choice," the Headmaster said, setting up the ink well. "When he first escaped, Sirius couldn't stay here at the school. We were under intense scrutiny after the sightings and problems with some student accidents. We tried hiding him with Remus, but that was untenable. It became clear he couldn't stay anywhere in England or Scotland," Dumbledore began to write.

"But he was still weak and needed care..." the Headmaster trailed off as he turned his full attention to the letter. It was quiet except for the scratching of the quill. Jeffrey sat up a bit, trying to at least get a bead on his father (who was reading over Albus' shoulder.) Neither of the older wizards looked in his direction; Dumbledore was concentrating on the parchment, Dr. James on the quill.

"Well?" James asked in a mildly aggrieved voice, "where did he go?" The Headmaster glanced up from his scribbles.

"To America. To the Roanoke Academy of Magic. The Headmistress, Lila Johnstone, is a very old friend of mine," Dumbledore set the quill down and rubbed his face.

"Lila warned me about Sirius. She and Her counselor worked with him while he was there under their Healer's care. I didn't listen," he sighed miserably.

"You were told Black was unstable?" Jeffrey sharply asked, the tension in his tone palatable. Dumbledore said nothing, staring at the parchment in front of him.

"Don't pick on Albus," Snape growled from the folds of blanket. Jeffrey jerked slightly, surprised, while his father passed a hand over his mouth to quell the snicker that threatened to burst out.

Snape pushed up and looked for his friend. He dropped back into the lounge when he realized he could not get to him. The Headmaster smiled softly at his friend's defense of him, picked up the quill to finish his writing.

"Well, he should have taken that in consideration when all those tricks were being played on you," muttered the young Healer to his patient.

"If I have learned nothing else Jeffrey, it's to not accuse anyone until you're sure. I don't blame Albus that he's trusting. I am one of the people he's trusted when he's had very little reason to, when everyone and everything told him he should not," Snape said. His voice rose.

"For gods sakes, Jeffrey, I'm a death eater. I've tortured people; done horrible things for horrible people. I can never atone for all that I've done. How can you lie there holding the likes of me? Helping the likes of me? If any one in this school deserves casting out or death it is me, not some pathetically narcissistic Gryffindor!" The Potions Master would have preferred leaving, to crawl into his dungeons and hide. Instead, he simply lie still and willed himself to ignore the naive Healer.

He didn't have to remain that way for long; he suddenly found himself airborne traveling across the room to the Headmaster. One touch and all his doubt and self-loathing was banished as loving warmth flowed from Albus through their bond.

*child,* Dumbledore gently chided. *you have more than atoned, done more than anyone has the right to ask of you*

*but Jeffrey doesn't understand* Snape thought sadly.

*in it's way that's a good thing. Jeffrey is young, he hasn't seen the worst of the world,* he pressed his forehead to his friend's. *I wish you hadn't seen the very worst of the world.*

They sat together for awhile, simply existing in their joined spaces. The warmth of quiet love and acceptance enough for Snape to consider forgiving himself. Maybe he had done some good after all. Dumbledore certainly felt he had. Snape dropped his head against the Headmaster's shoulder and sighed contentedly.

*I need to finish this letter,* Dumbledore murmured.

*'k,* Snape held a little tighter then let go. Dr. James, who'd slipped alongside the pair, took hold of the shaky wizard so he could assist him..

"Let's clean up and see about some dinner, Severus. You need to get something in that empty stomach of yours!" the older Healer said gently .

After finishing his missive and sending it with Dobby to be owled, Dumbledore moved to the table and began dishing up a bowl of steaming beef stew. Although it wasn't very late, he felt he could go to bed and sleep all night. How much was his fatigue and how much was Snape's? The bond was still intact; he was still controlling heartbeats and breathing for his friend.

"After dinner you can let go, Albus," Dr. James said quietly. Dumbledore wondered if he was reading his mind.

"I read minds professionally. I am a wizard, you know!" the older Healer smirked. Then Dumbledore noticed Dr. James holding Snape's arm as he fed him.

"Cheater," the Headmaster said with a sniff.

As he ate Dumbledore wondered how much he'd have to 'let go' to have Snape functioning on his own. He liked the warmth of the bond. It was comforting to him knowing Snape could fully believe and understand Albus' love. That Albus could feel the Potions Master's love and acceptance.

Dumbledore simply liked having Snape "there". He shook his head with a small laugh. He didn't need the healer's bond to know he wasn't alone. Snape would always be there when he needed him. As for Severus, he had worked so hard to be able to trust him and believe him. It was time for the Headmaster to trust his friend's hard-won gains. To trust the bond they had without magic.

The bond slipped away easily; Albus watched carefully as Snape picked up his own inner functionings, fatigue etching his already too-tired face. The Potions Master sighed, lifting his eyes to his friend with a small smile.

"I miss you," Snape said softly, still smiling.

"I miss you, too," Dumbledore replied with his own grin.

"I'm right here," the Potions Master squirmed in his chair leaning against the older Healer.

"And I am right here, too," Dumbledore reached out to take his child in his arms, into a warm embrace. "Always right here."

After a long moment they broke apart, the Headmaster returning to his own space in his own chair, the Potions Master to his own chair and the comforting energy of the Healer.

"You need to sleep, Severus," Dr. James murmured quietly.

"I think I could sleep," Snape quipped. Jeffrey reached over and tugged the ill wizard's hair.

"You will sleep all night, Sev," Barnes turned to Dr. James. "My turn to monitor, Dad. You get to go back and fill out triplicate parchments for Stacy," the younger Healer teased, mentioning their receptionist. The older Healer raised a slight glare, then chuckled.

"Yes, I suppose I do. Let's get you into bed, Professor Snape," Barnes said. With his son's help Snape was tucked into warm covers where he slept comfortably nestled between Headmaster and the young Healer.


	45. A Promise to be Better 45 fin

A Promise to be Better 45

Author: Raven Dancer

disclaimer: All characters belong to J.K. Rowling except for the Drs. Barnes, Beryl and Gibbons. I receive no monetary compensation for these works.

Summary: Endings and Epilogues

Another day, another albatross, Dumbledore thought bemusedly to himself. Although this particular bird carried a message from America and his friend, Lila Johnstone. The Headmaster secured a bowl of raw fish for the bird before he took the light paper and moved away from the desk... and the wondrous stench of herring guts.

He walked across the room to a chair near the lounge. Snape was drowsing under warm blankets, several parchments spilling out of his relaxed hand. After four days he was much better and the Healers finally didn't feel compelled to hover around. Unable to contain himself, Dumbledore reached out to stroke the silky black hair earning a small smile.

"Albus?" Snape left his eyes closed, leaning into the touch.

"Child," Dumbledore responded warmly. His hand strayed down the cheeks that were no longer deathly pale. Dark eyes slid open regarding the older man. The resting wizard's hand twitched then moved up to take his mentor's hand.

Warm. The Potions Master's hand was finally warm. They smiled at one another for a long moment before the younger wizard released his grip and moved to pick up a dropped parchment.

"Anything of interest?" Dumbledore prompted him, tucking his own message up his sleeve.

"Not a lot. McGonagall wants to borrow that "Teen Witch" magazine before I give it back to Parkinson. Some mushy drivel from Potter and Granger reports Longbottom needs more tutoring," Snape reported. He shook the parchment in his hand with a snort. "And this note from Dr. Barnes reminding me I should be resting and not bothering with the mail."

Dumbledore chuckled. Leave it to Jeffrey to sneak in a little reminder.

"Well, you should be resting," the Headmaster tugged a blanket up nearer to Snape's neck. Not finished with his fussing, Dumbledore picked up a nearly full cup of juice and offered the straw to his friend. With a bemused chuff Snape accepted and took a long drink. He pushed the straw out, swallowed and leaned back against the pillows.

"So, did you receive anything of interest? You seem to have an albatross on your desk," Snape observed, face still relaxed and comfortable.

"Just a note from Lila," Dumbledore said evasively. Snape visibly perked up, his lip twitching.

"Lila?" the younger wizard managed to sound silky and teasing all at once. Albus pulled back and raised his eyebrow.

"Lila," he replied, sounding a bit more "innocent" than usual. Snape's eyes twinkled with amusement, but he refrained from commenting further. Dumbledore had enjoyed Lila Johnstone's friendship for decades and the Potions Master suspected they might just be more than friends. Or not. Albus was never very forthcoming with information and had managed to keep that part of his life very, very private.

Turning slightly Snape watched Dumbledore slip out a note from his sleeve. It was written on a very light paper; this piqued his interest. She'd used the fastest carrier and didn't weigh it down. What was so important?

Dumbledore's eyes traveled over the familiar handwriting and he snorted indelicately when she reprimanded him for using such heavy parchment for his letter. Lila had unbounded compassion even for animals. He made a mental note to use more appropriate paper on the return letter.

Snape watched those eyes crinkle in relief and tolerated another absentminded cuddle when something written triggered the affection. Lila must have mentioned him in the letter to Albus. He continued to wait patiently, at least patiently for the Potions Master. When Dumbledore finally looked away from the parchment Snape pushed.

"Well?" he asked. The Headmaster's eyes flicked to his friend, hand still soothing Snape's face.

"Oh, Lila will take Sirius for the time being," Dumbledore said carefully, not wanting to break the calm mood. The Potions Master did not flinch, which he took as a good sign.

"That's good. Lila will take care of him," Snape said very quietly. Dumbledore set the letter aside and took the Potions Master's hand.

"Yes, she will. And I will take care of you," the Headmaster said soothingly. They'd reached a greater understanding, the two of them, but he still wanted to reassure Severus.

"Thanks, Albus," he murmured, accepting the caress, the closeness. These past six months had been the worst and the best of his life. Knowing Dumbledore loved him carried him through. After a moment he looked up into those concerned blue eyes and smiled.

"So, how is Sirius going to get to Roanoke Academy?" Snape asked, resettling into the blankets. Dumbledore released him and leaned back into his own chair.

"Bill Weasley is going to New York on Gringotts business the beginning of winter break," Dumbledore began. "On Monday," he continued seeing the confusion in the younger wizard's eyes. "In two days," the Headmaster added. Snape really had no idea of what day it was, having been asleep or unaware for the best part of the last several weeks.

"Christmas is that close?" Snape asked, the slightly lost look squeezed Dumbledore's heart.

"A week, Severus. Next Friday," he said gently.

"Oh. I best get to town to do my shopping," Snape mused.

"Why don't you let me do that for you, Severus? I don't think either Jeffrey or James will let you go anywhere for awhile," Dumbledore offered, noting his companion's eyes were starting to droop.

*And they'd flay me alive if I let you even try.* The Headmaster leaned closer and very carefully ran a hand over Snape's forehead.

"Rest, child. We can talk about gifts when you wake," the Headmaster said soothingly, murmuring a sleeping charm.

"'k, Albus," Snape whispered, slipping back into very needed sleep.

Bill Weasley took the steps to Hogwarts two at a time. The red-head was excited about his upcoming trip to the 'States and being back to Hogwarts at Dumbledore's request. Most of the students had left the day before, Sunday. The few winter break inhabitants were hidden within, possibly lingering over a late breakfast. He moved through the large wooden doors into the entry way.

Still no one. Several pictures stopped their holiday preparations to greet him. Weasley had to grin and wave back. The smell of fresh pine filled his nostrils as he ducked into the Great Hall. Hagrid was already at work tugging a third large tree into position. As he dropped it into its stand the groundskeeper looked up and smiled broadly.

"Bill Weasley! Ye made it! The Headmaster said ta keep an eye open for ya," Hagrid said. He wiped his hands on his great coat and soon engulfed Bill's much smaller hand in a friendly shake. The honest pleasure on the half-giant's face warmed him more than the fire roaring in the grate.

"Yes, just came in. Good to see you again, Hagrid!" Bill said. He looked up at the trees and grinned mischievously at the groundskeeper.

"Very impressive! Are you going to trim them, too?"

"Professor Flitwick and McGonagall are comin' down," Hagrid replied with a snort. "I think once ya're off Dumbledore will drag Professor Snape down. They might let him put a little tinsel on the lower branches."

"Down? Don't you mean up? Or has someone finally convinced Snape to leave his dungeons?" Bill asked with a chuckle. Hagrid gave him an appraising look.

"Oh, the professor has been out of his dungeons most of the year," Hagrid said, evasively turning back to his trees.

"Really? There must be some story behind that! Professor Snape rarely left his dungeons the whole time I was here," Bill said with a questioning glance. But the groundskeeper ignored the query, content to unnecessarily tug the trees into a better position.

"Ya need ta run along. Headmaster's waitin'. Password's 'gummy worms'. Tell 'im I'll send Professor Lupin and Snuffles up," Hagrid said, turning completely away. Bill watched a moment longer. Seeing no further information was forthcoming, he headed out and up to see Dumbledore.

The office door was open; Bill entered without knocking calling out

"Hello? Headmaster?"

"ALBUS! I am capable of taking care of myself!" the agitated voice of the Potions Master came out of the washroom. "OUT!" With a stumble Dumbledore came out, the door firmly slamming behind him. Bill expected to see at least annoyance if not outright anger on the Headmaster's face. But the older wizard was chuckling in amusement, his eyes twinkling. Seeing his visitor Dumbledore straightened and smiled.

"Bill! Delightful! I am pleased to see you!" the Headmaster strode across the room holding out his hand. Bill accepted the firm grasp gladly.

"Come join me! Would you like some tea?" the older wizard continued, drawing the younger over to the desk and one of the chairs.

"Yes, please," Bill said, sitting down.

"I just have to see to Severus then we can talk," Dumbledore said, ringing a small bell. A house elf full of energy rocketed into the room and listened carefully to the orders. Curious, Bill thought, breakfast dishes to be cleaned up in the bedroom. Before he could ponder on this the washroom door opened and Snape came out.

Bill had not seen the Potions Master since last June. The change in him was staggering. Snape was thin to begin with, gaunt was more close to the mark now. His movements slow and deliberate as though it was an effort to simply walk. But his eyes were still as deep and dark as always. They pierced his when they met.

"Mr. Weasley," Snape said politely with a nod. Bill managed a 'good morning' as the Headmaster went directly to the obviously ill man. Dumbledore immediately put his arm around the thin body guiding him through the sitting area. Bill couldn't help but notice Snape leaned against the older man.

"Albus," Snape hissed darkly as he was fussed over to the lounge. "I am quite capable."

"Of course you are," Dumbledore placated mildly, earning a truly awful glare. Still it seemed to Bill Snape did need help getting onto the lounge and settled on pillows. Blankets were pulled up and tucked in carefully. Dare he say lovingly. He was reminded of his mother and briefly wondered how she was this morning.

Refocusing, he watched the Headmaster brush back Snape's hair and murmur something over him. It must have been a sleeping charm since the Potions Master's eyes closed. A final pat on the shoulder and Dumbledore straightened up and moved back to his desk.

"He's been ill," the Headmaster said by way of explanation. "Although he clearly must be feeling better; he's been snapping at me all morning." The laughter in his eyes negated his serious tone. Bill glanced back over at the sleeping wizard.

"What happened?" Bill asked, wondering if he'd get a straight answer. Knowing the Headmaster, he doubted he would. In fact, the appraising look he was receiving from the Headmaster seemed to indicate that, as usual, he'd be told only what he truly needed to know.

But Dumbledore surprised him. In an urgent and confiding tone Dumbledore told him about the torture Snape had endured from Voldemort as well as a series of worsening practical jokes. The final straw had been the casting out of a curse that Harry Potter had picked up. The Headmaster even mentioned something cryptic about not supporting Snape when he needed it most. Bill was stunned at this river of information, especially the Headmaster's last confession. In a flash of insight Bill realized how much he'd changed; Dumbledore was treating him as an equal.

They sat in silence, sipping tea, Bill silently reflecting his changing role in the war against Voldemort when a knock sounded at the door. Bill noted Dumbledore glanced at Snape, sõeeing if he were disturbed as he waved the door open. He expected to see Professor Lupin and Snuffles come in and was surprised to see Harry Potter walk resolutely in, instead. It seemed the Headmaster was slightly surprised, too.

"Good morning, Harry. I wasn't expecting you today," Dumbledore said calmly.

"I thought maybe Professor Snape would be available?" Harry asked. Turning his head he saw the Potions Master on the lounge and continued to walk toward him through the office area.

"He's asleep, Harry," Dumbledore started to say, hoping to head the student off. But it didn't dissuade him; Harry was soon seated next to the ill wizard. He pulled a book out of his robe and settled in resolutely. Bill expected the Headmaster to remove the student, but he only shrugged with an inscrutable expression and resettled behind the desk.

"I should explain what I'd like you to do for me," Dumbledore look¥ed at the red-headed wizard.

"Mom said you had a package to be delivered to the American Academy at Roanoke," Bill supplied, knowing that much. The Headmaster shifted, leaning back and crossing his legs.

"Not so much a package as a person," the older man began. "You were here last June, after the Tri-Wizard Tournament. You went to speak with your father for me." Bill nodded showing he was following the train of thought.

"Your mother shared with you what transpired after you left; the actions we took and all the principal players?" this was a question and Bill answered it carefully.

"About Black being sent to Lupin and Professor Snape to perform a special assignment? Mother felt he'd gone back to try to spy on he-who-must-be-named," Bill supplied and was rewarded with a smile and a nod of agreement from the Headmaster.

"Yes. Well, Sirius has had some difficulty since he escaped from Azkaban. He needs a little help in working out lingering, uh, problems," Dumbledore tried to explain just enough of the situation without going in to great detail.

"Trying to kill Professor Snape seems to me to be more than a 'lingering problem'," Harry muttered loud enough for both wizards to hear. Bill's eyebrow lifted in surprise. Dumbledore looked uncomfortable.

"Sirius has nursed certain hatreds during his stay in prison. It has been difficult for him to accept Severus is firmly on our side. He did attack Severus. We were fortunate, we could have lost both Harry and Severus," the Headmaster explained sadly, looking at both mentioned wizards.

"Sirius needs some help; Dr. James has arranged for this, but the sanitarium he contacted won't have an opening until June at the earliest. The Headmistress at Roanoke has agreed to shelter Sirius until then."

"So Sirius is the 'package'? He's agreeable to this?" Bill asked a bit skeptically.

"Yes and yes. Since I contacted your mother, Professor Lupin has decided to join you and Sirius. He feels, and I agree, that it would be wise. He can help with Sirius should that be necessary and he can cover Sirius' porting over. If any of the Ministry's security is monitoring over-seas travel, then they'll register a werewolf and a wizard. Lupin's wolf will cover the the dog form of Sirius. You should be able to port to New York then use a second portkey to get to North Carolina, near the Academy. Sirius and Remus both know how to get there," Dumbledore explained. Bill idly wondered why he needed to go with Lupin and Black. Maybe because they'd asked him before making these new plans?

Unfortunately, as soon as Lupin and Snuffles arrived, Bill could guess why he was going along to deliver the package. Black was agitated and rather angry. Once shifting into his human form the animagus glared balefully at the sleeping wizard and his Godson. It might not be all that easy bringing him to Roanoke Academy.

"Well, Bill Weasley," Black growled as he shook the offered hand, m"you've been tapped for this little jaunt, eh?" The sullen voice raised slightly in volume.

"Yes, I was going to New York on Gringott's business. The Headmaster asked me to join you over," Bill said pleasantly. Sirius shifted his hard gaze to the older wizard.

"I promised, Dumbledore. You trust Snape's promise; why do I get an 'escort'?" Black snarled. Movement caught Bill's eye and he glanced over at the lounge. Snape had woke up; Harry was leaning over talking softly to the drowsy wizard.

"Sirius, I do trust you," Dumbledore said wearily. "You know you need to be shielded. I certainly don't want the Ministry catching you!" The animagus shifted guiltily then glanced over at his Godson. Harry had somehow managed to pull Snape upright into a hug and was holding on tight. The student seemed to be crying, his shoulders jerking slightly, while the Potions Master sat sleepily running a soothing hand over his back in comfort.

"You'd best be off," Dumbledore said. "Remus? I expect you back soon."

"I should be back by the end of the break. I just want to settle Sirius in," Lupin said. He tugged on his friend's arm. Black had said his goodbyes to Harry earlier; no reason to disturb the boy again.

*Especially since it wasn't a very warm goodbye,* Lupin mused to himself.

"Thank you again, Bill," the Headmaster rose to shake the young wizard's hand. "Remus? You've brought the portkey?" Lupin nodded, pulling harder on Black.

At the door Sirius Black took one last look at his Godson curled in a tight hug in Severus Snape's arms sobbing.

The image would haunt him for months.

Epilogue

Severus Snape sat back and watched the class of first year students tumbling over each other scurrying for desks. It was his second week back after his 4 month hiatus and he was amused by the students' enthusiasm in having him back.

A year ago he'd never believed anyone would be happy to see him.

Homework parchments were quickly collected and set on his desk as he took up his position to lecture. They were going to brew a modified pepper-up potion; the spring wet had brought many drippy noses. Poppy had requested a new batch over the weekend and since it fit into the current teaching unit he agreed.

Professor Jacques was rattling around in the student cupboards preparing for the afternoon classes. Jeffrey had been adamant Snape only teach part-time until June. So the Potions Master selected the first years classes as well as the fifth years and the Friday afternoon seventh years.

He had to see what those twins were thinking up!

Snape had also been back to tutoring Longbottom and Granger for nearly a month. The boy was not as inept as he had been last term and the change of professors midterm hadn't harmed him. In actuality, Neville was becoming quite good at brewing potions. When Snape had pointed out he didn't need any additional help both the young wizard and witch had argued then begged for more tutoring. As did the others.

The Slytherin prefect, Stevens, and his friend, Cathryn Brown, had joined the tutoring sessions as teaching assistants. Brown had been insistent, wanting to learn about teaching. Then Malfoy had come, claiming he needed some help. Potter had come in too, although both seekers would leave for practice if they had to. Several seventh years, notably the Weasley twins, would come in for guidance and advice on a variety of projects.

Snape was glad Jeffrey had insisted only part-time; he was exhausted!

He was also very glad that both Dr. James and Jeffrey had learned the counter-charm for Algie's Rings. After Harry's mishap two more students managed to come in contact with hexed coins. A third, Ginny Weasley, picked up a fallen necklace and brought it back to Hagrid completely embarrassed. Since they were all caught early, the counter-charm required less energy and neither Healer suffered any significant set-back. It had been nearly three months since the last token had been found.

Then there was that silliness of charming the walls! He had agreed to teach them the spells necessary to create the moving murals. Dumbledore enjoyed that part of the tutoring so much he'd come down near the end of each session to help (and to check up on his well-being.) Granger, of course, was mastering each part quickly. She in turn practiced with Neville. Snape had caught them, with Potter, Malfoy and several other Slytherins, playing in one of the sitting rooms off the Great Hall. Amazing.

The sound of glass breaking caught his attention and he glared at a Ravenclaw girl. She just smiled and used her wand to clean up the debris.

*I've lost my touch!* Snape thought, although he wasn't upset about that. Without a smile he sniffed almost disdainfully and moved to the back row to see how the brewing process was going.

~FIN~

Ending Notes

Ah, you couldn't get rid of me that easily! A few things remain to be said.

First and foremost, I huge "thank you" to HLB for her wonderful editing skills and especially her support as muse and friend. She asked and suggested and drove me to greater heights of angst.

Andromanche, Cloudshape, Ms. Snape, Mystical Dragon, Ostia, and Toofragileforyou, thanks for all the emails and im's! I certainly enjoyed discussing my writings and your ideas. (And you had some great ideas!)

Then I want to send a special thanks to Raeban and Demeter. You two were wonderful! I could always count on a review within a day (sometimes minutes!) of posting a chapter. You were always encouraging and supportive.

The rest of my wonderful readers and reviewers, you were marvelous! Thank you for indulging me when I became too cuddly or too angsty! (as if I could be too cuddly! *snort* Has anyone seen my duckie?)

Black Rose Reggie Jazz

Nomad Iniga Solanara

Jen Almighty Chrissy SilverWolf

Kate Lynn Princess of Mordor Lady Drea

BdWrm Ozma Angela

Andolyn Albino Mystical Cancer

Sirius the Doggie DTJewel SunNy GuRL

Severitus LuanDLascy Emma

Tessie Gabe Love Childe

Akutsuin Humanbeing Indarae

Sweeykittyar HPFan Emerald Star

SchizoAuthoress Anna FrogHopper

Again, I am pleased you enjoyed my "soap opera". I'll be back soon with Summer Lessons. I look forward to reading all of your fiction!

For those who have inquired after Sirius and his continued health, you will be thrilled to know H.L.B is writing a sequel to "Promise". She will be exploring Sirius Black's healings at Roanoke Academy. Please read and review her new work, "Sirius Implications" at .?storyid=604121. You will love it!

Affectionately,

Raven Dancer


	46. A Note

A Promise to be Better has been edited. I cleaned up all the stray marks and generally made it easier to read. Thank you all for your ongoing reviews.

Raven


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